Defying the Relic Hunter (Coletti Warlord Series Book 11)

by Gail Koger

  “I’d rather have you angry than dead.” A glint of amusement in his eyes, Ethan handed me a toothbrush.

  I ran it around my mouth in a desperate attempt to get rid of the foam. “How do you feel about no sex, sugar?”

  Ethan just grinned.

  I jumped when ghostly hands stroked my body until I got a nipple boner. “That’s cheating.”

  “All’s fair in love and war.”

  I stepped into the shower and turned the water to ice cold.

  Ethan leaned against the wall. “Won’t work.”

  I gave him the one fingered salute and finished brushing my teeth.

  “Xenia and her family are the relic hunters who just discovered the fabled home world of the Nabateans.”

  “Are they joining our hunt?” I looked around for a place to put the toothbrush.

  Ethan took it from me. “Quinn and Xenia will partner up with us. Xenia’s parents are investigating the archaeological dig at Tamaulipas, Mexico.”

  Shivering, I hit the instant dry and hot air blasted me. “I like Xenia. She didn’t run screaming when the ghoulies came out to play.”

  “Berserkers never run.”

  “But the Bjarke sure do. A couple of fireballs and Xenia had them running around the cavern screaming bloody murder.”

  Ethan held out a metal belt. “Your battle armor, my lady.”

  “What? Already?” I did a happy dance.

  Ethan’s gaze fastened on my bouncing girls. “Zarek got Sariel to expedite the order.”

  “Sariel? The Askole High Commander?”

  “That’s him.”

  “Cool.” I examined the belt. “How does it work?”

  Ethan fastened it around my waist. “See the armor icon on your bracelet?”

  “Yep.”

  “Double tap it.”

  I did. Snikt. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Within seconds black armor covered me from head to toe. I took a couple of experimental steps. The armor fit perfectly and was effortless to move in. The heads-up display was totally awesome. The battle computer provided an easy flow of visual data and tactical information. “How come I understand all the technical gobbledygook?”

  “Our mind meld,” Ethan answered.

  “Do you understand my summoning spells?”

  “To open a portal, it’s miraculin sepulcrum ibidem solus novum. Domum rotundam vivtorie construxit.”

  “I’m seriously impressed.” I examined my bracelet. “Is this the icon to get the helmet to retract?”

  “It is.”

  I touched it and the helmet shrank away. “I love it. What can I do to show my appreciation?”

  Ethan picked me up. “Live to be a thousand.”

  “I’ll do my damnedest.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I expect the same promise from you.”

  “Until eternity ends.” Ethan’s mouth moved over mine, demanding, sensual and full of need.

  My stomach growled loudly.

  He broke the kiss with a chuckle and released me. “Guess I better feed you.” With one tap on his bracelet, his battle armor formed around him.

  Battle armor sure made getting dressed easy. No more dithering over what to wear and it was the perfect support bra. My girls had never looked better.

  Ethan wrapped an arm around me. There was a fleeting instant of blackness and poof! We were standing in Hilberto’s. The old donut shop was painted a glow-in-the-dark orange. The interior walls were covered with awful velvet paintings of matadors, tigers and Elvis. No matter the time of day, the Mariachi music was always a tad too loud.

  The kid behind the counter didn’t even blink when we teleported in.

  Ethan cocked an inquiring eyebrow. “Chorizo, eggs, potatoes and green chilies?”

  “Add some coffee and it’s perfect,” I said.

  Quinn and Xenia popped in.

  My eyes widened at the fierce scowl on Quinn’s face.

  Xenia elbowed him in the stomach. “Knock it off. Kizzy had nothing to do with me being kidnapped.”

  “Nope, not a thing,” I said with a bright smile.

  Ethan went toe-to-toe with Quinn. “Kizzy and her grandmother also kept the Thunder God and the ghoulies from eating Xenia. I’ve yet to hear a thank you.”

  “The dead grandmother?” A cold rage burned in Quinn’s silver eyes.

  I offered helpfully, “That would be her. If you want to meet her, I can summon her.”

  “Not. Necessary. Thank you for stopping the Thunder God, but I’m still not clear on why you had to open a portal to hell.”

  Xenia expelled a long breath. “When Quinn gets this way, he’s impossible.”

  “It wasn’t a portal to hell. We helped all the trapped spirits pass over before they could tear us to shreds. And your nifty weapons are useless against them.”

  “Good to know.” Quinn turned his attention to the menu.

  Xenia rolled her eyes. “I apologize for the lunkhead’s manners. What are you getting?”

  “The chorizo, eggs, potatoes and green chili burrito.”

  “I’ll take one too.” Xenia eyes widened. “They have fried ice cream!”

  “And their chocolate sauce is to die for,” I added.

  “Dessert,” we cried in unison.

  “Females,” Quinn groused.

  While the guys got our food, Xenia picked a table with a good view of the street. “How long have you been able to talk to the dead?”

  “Since I was three. My mom kept waiting for me to manifest some of her awesome talents, but it never happened. I can only hold an illusion for about ten minutes.”

  “Hey, we share a talent.” Presto! A thousand butterflies filled the restaurant.

  “I can beat that.” Montezuma did the Texas Two-Step around the table.

  Xenia’s jaw dropped. “Is that Zarek?”

  “Ah, yeah.”

  “Your mate has a death wish,” Quinn commented.

  Ethan raised his eyes heavenward. “Don’t I know it.”

  I quickly switched to the dancing pink elephant.

  The kid behind the counter was bug-eyed.

  “Enough of the entertainment, let’s eat,” Ethan said, placing the tray with our food on the table.

  The butterflies and pink elephant vanished.

  I took a big bite. The chorizo was seasoned perfectly.

  “This is really good,” Xenia groaned.

  I nodded in agreement. “The best Mexican food in the state.”

  “Not bad,” Quinn said.

  Silence reigned as we chowed down.

  A black tank with orange flames painted on the side rumbled to a stop out front and ten heavily armed soldiers bailed out.

  I hooted. “Oh lookie, it’s Ivan and his stealth tank.” I threw up a nothing here illusion.

  A wolfish smile formed on Ethan’s mouth. “I don’t have to hunt the ass down.”

  Xenia studied them. “What do they want?”

  “Me, dead,” I answered.

  Quinn frowned. “Why?”

  “My cousin Giuseppe was stupid enough to attack Zarek. Luigi, his father, blames my uncle and me for his capture,” I answered.

  Xenia laughed. “I saw the vid. You weren’t even there.”

  “I know that, and you know that, but daddy dearest doesn’t care. Giuseppe’s the perfect son, who can do no wrong.”

  Ethan snorted. “He’s a fool and a piss poor thief.”

  “I say we kill them all,” Quinn said.

  I held up a hand. “Why don’t we hold off on that. For the next ten minutes all they’ll see is an empty restaurant. I’m hoping they’ll leave without a bunch of bloodshed.

  “Where’s the fun in that?” Ethan’s disbelieving gaze roved over Ivan. “Is that his battle armor?”

  As usual Ivan was wearing his white armor with gold inlaid. A long black plume sprouted from his helmet. He looked like he was attending a masquerade ball as Prince Charming instead of going into battle. “Yep.”

  Iva
n opened the door and looked around. “I thought you said the bitch was here?”

  “She was. Maybe they ducked out the back. You know Coletti warriors are a bunch of fucking pussies,” a tall, reed thin man replied.

  Ethan growled in my head. “Stay put.” Poof! He vanished.

  Quinn teleported a second later.

  Ethan and Quinn appeared on the sidewalk and pulled their swords.

  Ivan took a startled jump backwards, slammed into the man behind him who crashed into the guys behind him, knocking them on their asses.

  I snickered.

  “Who’s the idiot in the white armor?” Xenia placed her pistol on her lap.

  “Ivan Moretti. Believe it or not, once upon a time I was going to marry him.”

  Xenia’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? What happened?”

  “I thought he was my Prince Charming until I caught him in bed with my best friend. I fried his nuts with my taser and called off the engagement.”

  “What did you find attractive about him?”

  “I’ve been asking myself the same thing.” Beside Ethan, Ivan was a tallow-faced weasel.

  “Ready for some fried ice cream?”

  Even though Ethan and Quinn were outnumbered, they seemed more amused than worried. “Sure. Will the guys need our help?”

  “Nah. They can handle those fools.”

  Ivan pulled his sword and lunged at Ethan.

  Ethan blocked his blade and beat Ivan back with a series of savage blows.

  Ivan’s men attacked Quinn. He teleported in and out, slashing, punching and utterly decimating his opponents. In less than two minutes, Ivan’s men were groaning on the pavement.

  “See? Nothing to worry about.” Xenia put our ice cream on the table.

  “Guess not.” Keeping a wary eye on the fight, I dug into the warm crispy shell, dripping with chocolate.

  His sword a blur of movement, Ethan mercilessly took Ivan’s armor apart piece by piece until my ex-fiancé stood there in his red silk jockey shorts.

  Xenia shook her head in disbelief. “Where did that fool get his crappy armor?”

  “Dunno. Probably Wally Mart.”

  A glittering blue light formed by the front door. When it faded, an older Italian male stood there wearing a thousand-dollar silk suit. In his right hand was a laser pistol.

  “Nice suit, Luigi.”

  He bared his teeth in a snarl and broke into a spate of Italian.

  Xenia licked the chocolate off her spoon. “What’s he saying?”

  “Before he can kill me, he has to declare a Gjakmarje,” I replied.

  “Gjakmarje?”

  “It’s a formal ritual to announce a blood vendetta. Once he finishes reciting the rite, he can kill me.”

  “Stupid rule.” Xenia stunned him.

  “I always thought so too.” I picked up Luigi’s laser pistol and watched his limbs flail wildly. “Not so much fun, when you’re the one getting zapped, is it?”

  “He stunned you?” Ethan’s voice was a low growl.

  “He did.”

  Ethan drew his sword.

  “You can’t kill him until Zarek has had a chance to interrogate him,” Quinn interjected.

  “True.” Ethan sheathed his sword.

  I glanced out the front window and did a doubletake. Ivan was hightailing it down the street. “He’s getting away.”

  Poof! Ethan vanished. Two seconds later, he appeared in front of Ivan and dropped the little weasel with a left hook.

  Ivan’s men climbed in the tank. It backfired loudly and rolled down the street. That was a blinding flash of red and the tank disintegrated into ash.

  Xenia whistled. “You called in a tactical strike?”

  “They attacked our family.” Quinn picked Luigi up by the neck and teleported.

  “Quinn considers me family?” Color me surprised.

  Xenia hugged me. “Of course, he does. You’re one of us now.”

  Joy welled up in me. I had always wanted a sister. “This is my first treasure hunt. Is it always this crazy?”

  “It is. You can always plan on tomb raiders, pirate attacks and greedy relatives looking for easy credits.”

  “Reminds me of the Dragos clan. A bunch of thieving conmen who would steal from their own mothers.”

  “More fried ice cream?”

  “Hell yeah. I think I’ll try the raspberry sauce this time,” I said.

  “Quinn said the next clue is in Las Vegas.”

  I grinned. “We are looking for ancient stucco warriors some old coot has in The Best Whore House in Vegas.”

  “This is going to be fun,” Xenia chortled.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Central Command’s Las Vegas headquarters was located next to Nellis Air Force Base. The heavily fortified complex was buzzing with activity. The roar of modified fighter jets filled the air. My eyes widened when military police officers surrounded our shuttle. One look at the grim expressions on Ethan’s and Quinn’s faces and my stomach clenched. “Are they here to arrest me?”

  A faint smile touched Ethan’s mouth. “No, they’re your security detail.”

  “Why do I need a security detail?”

  “Quinn and I have been called back to active duty for a few days and since the Bjarke have kidnapped you twice, you need protection. Until we return, you will follow Captain Miller’s instructions to the letter.”

  I crossed my arms and glared at Ethan. “I’m not a Barbie. I’m quite capable of taking care of myself. Plus, I have Granny Annabel and Xenia for extra protection. Send them away.”

  Ethan grimaced. “No can do. The Bjarke mercenaries need your talents to lead them to the treasure and they won’t stop until they capture you again. You will stay on the base until I return.”

  “And where exactly are you going?”

  “A squadron of modified Rodan marauders are showing on the long-range scanners. General Jones requested us to do the recon,” Ethan replied.

  Xenia bristled. “The security detail isn’t necessary. I’m capable of keeping Kizzy safe.”

  “The security detail is for you too,” Quinn growled.

  “Me?” Xenia’s eyes began to glow. “I am a highly trained warrior with battle experience, and you will treat me as such.”

  Quinn loomed over Xenia. “You’re also a much sought-after relic hunter. The Tomb Raiders want you as much as they do Kizzy. You will stay on the base until I return. Am I clear?”

  Xenia saluted smartly. “Yes, sir.”

  “Captain Miller will escort you to your quarters,” Quinn snapped.

  A tall, athletic man in a pristine uniform stepped forward. “The Humvee’s this way, ladies.”

  There were suddenly twelve of me standing there. “Not a chance. I will not be treated like a child,” all of us said in unison.

  Twelve Xenias appeared next to me. “My battle skills are a match for any Coletti or Bjarke.”

  Ethan reached out and grabbed me. “Nice try.”

  My illusions vanished.

  Xenia’s doubles abruptly disappeared.

  Quinn had a firm grip on a wildly struggling Xenia. “If I can overpower you, so can they.”

  “That’s because you’re in my head,” Xenia yelled.

  Quinn tightened his hold. “It’s only for a couple of days.”

  “Let go of me, you pigheaded bastard.”

  Quinn released her and took a step back. “I love you. I want to grow old with you. Please don’t fight me on this. If I’m worried about you, I won’t be concentrating on my mission.”

  Xenia’s shoulders slumped. “Fine. Go. But I won’t forget this.”

  “Me, either,” I said.

  Ethan let out a long breath and tilted my head up. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

  “Define stupid,” I countered.

  “Going after stucco warriors without proper backup.”

  I looked Ethan dead in the eye. “I promise.”

 
; “I told you I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe and I meant it.” Ethan dropped a hard kiss on my mouth and teleported.

  Quinn didn’t try to touch Xenia. “Don’t kill anyone.”

  Xenia gave Quinn the one-fingered salute and stomped after the Captain.

  I followed them. Ethan didn’t know me as well as he thought. I climbed into the Humvee and gave Xenia an evil smile. “Suckers.”

  Xenia burst out laughing.

  Captain Miller eyed us in alarm. “If anything happens to you ladies, they will kill me.”

  I smiled innocently. “All we’re gonna do is catch up on our sleep and indulge in some online shopping. Right, Xenia?”

  “That’s right.”

  The Humvee pulled to a stop in front of what looked like a supermax prison.

  That lowlife bastard. I linked mentally with Xenia. “Do those fools really think a jail cell will hold us?”

  “This one will.”

  “The Dragos clan teaches their children how to break into and out of places like this.”

  Xenia smiled. “Can you teach me those skills?”

  “You betcha.”

  The Captain and his men escorted us to a cell with no windows, two bunk beds and a tiny bathroom.

  “Talk about the lap of luxury,” I quipped.

  Captain Miller fixed us with a stern gaze. “The room is shielded. No one can transport in or teleport out. A Coletti electro-fence surrounds the prison with dozens of automated laser canons strategically placed along the barrier. Any attempts to leave the area without a keycard and you will be incinerated. Am I clear?”

  We both nodded.

  He shut the door. There was a loud clank as the electronic locks sealed.

  “I know Coletti warriors are hardwired to protect their females, but this is way over the top.” Xenia’s voice was full of sorrow.

  An overwhelming sadness filled me. “Hey, what can I say. I’m used to people betraying me.”

  “I haven’t betrayed you,” Ethan rumbled in my head.

  Lo and behold, the nosy jerk was hanging around. “Haven’t you? I’m locked in a high-security prison because you simply don’t trust me. After all, I am a sticky-fingered Dragos.”

  “You’re a Jones now.”

  “Am I?”

  “Not only are the Bjarke after you, but Luigi has five death squads looking for you too. You’re safe there,” Ethan said.

  “Whatever.” I broke the link. “This is the honeymoon from hell.”