Love Me Always

by Peyton Banks

  Flicking his blinker, Bram pulled into Mackenzie’s cul-de-sac. The second her silver Mercedes came into view, he smiled. He’d been looking forward to this evening all week. But nothing had prepared him for the startling onslaught of emotions when he spotted her standing on her porch, waiting for him.

  If he’d thought her beautiful before—dripping with seawater, hair knotted with sand—it didn’t compare to now. In the place of her thrashed nightgown was a beautiful green sundress. The hem brushed the top of her knees, the skirt swaying in the gentle breeze. A light-yellow sweater cradled her thin shoulders, giving him the impression of sunlight kissing her ebony skin. She’d also pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and left a few wavy strands free to caress her face.

  Utterly entranced, Bram’s hand slipped, and he knocked the gear shift into reverse instead of park. He cursed under his breath as the vehicle lurched backward before correcting his mistake.

  Jesus, he hadn’t let a girl get to him like this since high school. But in all fairness, Mackenzie wasn’t just a girl. She made him feel young again, made him laugh, made him feel. And that was more than he could say for anyone else right now.

  With a beaming smile, she waved and started down the porch stairs. She hadn’t made it a few steps before someone opened the front door and stepped outside. From the familiar resemblance, it had to be her father. Unfortunately, her father wore a disapproving expression that twisted Bram’s innards.

  Her father must have called her name, because Mackenzie’s shoulders tightened. Then, with a pinched face she turned and stomped back up the stairs. The two engaged in what looked like a quiet argument, but if Bram had to guess, it seemed like her father was winning.

  Clearing his throat, he unbuckled himself and slid out of the car. Their voices immediately rose to his ears, confirming his suspicions.

  “Dad!” Mackenzie snapped. “Just drop it, okay?”

  “No. What you’re doing is wrong. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself, to him—”

  “Dad!” She tossed her arms up, then spun on her heel and marched down the stairs. Fury blazed in her eyes, and she clutched her purse to her chest as though her life depended on it. Her mouth twisted into what he assumed was a grim smile before she climbed into his car and slammed shut the door.

  Bram stood there with the driver-side door in hand. Clearly, he’d walked in on something. But it was the broken expression on her father’s face that convinced him to try to smooth things over.

  With a deep breath, he released his door and approached her father. It wasn’t until he stood a few feet away that Bram realized who her father was. “Oh… Senator Daniels…”

  Mackenzie’s father was the state senator. Except, she’d given him a different last name. DeVane. Frowning, Bram glanced over his shoulder to find Mackenzie cradling her head in his car.

  “Bram Larsen, the author, right?” Senator Daniels said.

  Bram turned to face him and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “Call me Samuel. After all, you did save my daughter’s life.”

  Nodding, Bram extended his hand and waited for the senator to do the same. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Yes. It’s a shame my wife isn’t home. I know she’d like to meet you as well. We’re both incredibly grateful for what you did. And I’m doubly grateful you didn’t go to the press about this.”

  “The press?”

  “A big story like this would definitely get those piranhas fired up.”

  “Ah.” Yes, the senator’s daughter’s attempted suicide would surely be big news. He didn’t bother telling the senator that his daughter had given him a fake name. Instead, he offered a more genuine response, one he felt deep in his soul. “I wouldn’t betray Mackenzie like that.”

  Samuel’s dark brows knotted. “You like her, don’t you?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “But you two just met.”

  “Yes, sir,” Bram said with a light chuckle. He couldn’t explain it either.

  “You don’t know anything about each other.”

  “Well, we know more now than we did a week ago.”

  Samuel’s head bobbed as he stared at his daughter. “Mackenzie can be impulsive, you know. She’s young. She’s spirited. And she never gives any consideration to consequences. I don’t want to see another young man left broken and battered.”

  Bram’s eyes widened. As much as he was dying to ask for clarification, he didn’t. Discussing Mackenzie’s past relationships with her father seemed wrong. He wanted to hear it all from her if that was what she wanted. The past didn’t mean much to him, considering his history.

  “Listen, Bram—”

  “I think I should leave,” he interrupted the senator. Whatever her father had to say, Bram didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want their date tarnished, and it was already off to a bad start.

  Unspoken emotion flitted across Samuel’s face, but eventually, he nodded. He lifted his head and stared at his daughter once more. Then, with an elevated voice, he said, “Tell him tonight, Mackenzie. Or I will.”

  Bram turned, his gaze bouncing between the two of them. Mackenzie looked livid, her arms crossed beneath her chest and her glare burning a hole through his windshield. But Samuel didn’t seem to care. Instead, he clapped Bram on the shoulder, then turned and vanished back into the house.

  Bram took a moment to process the exchange before returning to the car. As much as he wanted to ask Mackenzie about her father’s parting comment, he had the feeling he needed to show patience and let her open up to him.

  Sliding into the driver seat, he glanced her way and drew in a deep breath.

  Oh, yeah, this was going to be a fun date.

  5

  Mackenzie tapped her fingers against the table. Tension zipped through her body like an electrical current, thanks to her father. He could have been far more delicate when approaching this matter. But her father wasn’t a man who thought of others. All he saw was a future smear against his name—his sickly daughter causing one last political disaster.

  Mackenzie drew in a deep breath, held it, then slowly exhaled. She needed to calm down. Her family drama wasn’t Bram’s problem. He’d driven an hour out of his way to come see her, the least she could do was make sure he had fun.

  But so far, she was batting zero.

  The short drive to the coffee shop had been filled with awkward silence. He didn’t know this, but she’d appreciated how he’d kept his calm. Most men would have been demanding answers the second they slid into the car, but Bram had merely smiled at her, and backed out of the driveway. God, she didn’t deserve him. Not only had he saved her life, but he’d also come to the hospital to check on her, then driven her home. And every night since, he’d been there for her. He’d been her one shining star in the sea of perpetual darkness.

  Biting the inside of her bottom lip, she glanced up to find him standing at the counter, paying for their drinks. And thanks to their nightly conversation, he knew she didn’t like coffee, so he’d ordered her a tea instead.

  How the hell could his ex-wife let this man go?

  After offering the cashier a small smile, Bram gathered the two drinks and strode toward the table. Mackenzie’s throat closed and she had to force herself to take another deep breath. Her father was right about one thing, she did need to tell him. She’d just been hoping not to have this conversation tonight. Things had been going so well between them, and now everything was about to implode.

  “One steeped tea,” he said, sliding the cup across the table.

  Mackenzie closed her hands around it and absorbed the heat. “Thank you.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “No.” She lifted her head and caught his gaze, still startled by the sight of him. He was so gorgeous, it had to be illegal. She’d never been struck so deeply by a man’s physical appearance before. But the contrast between his dark skin and bright eyes stole her breath. “It’s not nothing. I need you to know how much I appreci
ate what you’re doing for me.”

  “It’s just tea,” Bram chuckled.

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  He seemed to understand her meaning, and his face grew somber as he lowered his coffee to the table. “Do you want to talk about what happened with your father?”

  She shook her head. Her entire body shivered with nerves. How was he going to react? He was the kindest man she’d ever met, but everyone had their breaking point. Maybe…maybe this would be his. And as much as she was attracted to him, she cherished their friendship more. Losing him would kill her faster than the terminal disease spreading through her body.

  She jumped when Bram’s warm hands enveloped hers. Her gaze shot upward and tears welled in her eyes.

  “Mackenzie, whatever it is…”

  She nodded. She could do this. She had to. But damn it, her trembling lips made it hard to speak. Her entire body was like a live wire, ready to ignite.

  “I—” She choked on emotion and her eyes fluttered shut as tears rolled down her cheeks. Oh God, she couldn’t do this. The past eight days, she’d walked around in a contented bubble. Bram’s friendship had filled her with such euphoria that it’d kept her sickness at bay. Even her mother had noticed a new bounce to her step. But as much as Mackenzie wanted to continue exploring this developing relationship, she had to be honest with him. It wasn’t fair to pretend like nothing was wrong.

  “Hey…” Bram cupped her cheeks and brushed away her tears.

  The tender smile he wore damn well shattered her heart. He was such a good man. Maybe they hadn’t known each other for long, but she could tell. He radiated kindness and devotion, while she’d been deceiving him this entire time.

  “Just take a deep breath and tell me. Whatever it is, I’ll help you.”

  Mackenzie nearly broke down sobbing right there. But ignoring her burning eyes, she sucked in a shivering breath and calmed herself. “Bram, there’s something I’ve been keeping from you. Something my father thinks I need to tell you.”

  “I gathered that,” he teased in a gentle voice. “As long as you’re not married, I don’t care.”

  “You say that now…”

  “It’s okay, Mackenzie. You can trust me.”

  She nodded. “I know that. But do me a favor and let me get it all out before you say anything.”

  He brushed his thumb against her lip, then sat back and gave her his undivided attention. Mackenzie squeezed her eyes shut and erected a wall around her heart. She was already falling for this man, and she knew that if she didn’t protect herself, losing him would destroy her.

  After a slow exhalation, she opened her eyes and launched into her woeful tale. “Three years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer.”

  Bram didn’t move, but Mackenzie caught the stiffening of his shoulders and the slight flare of his nostrils. He remained silent, exactly as promised, but his body language screamed the words he couldn’t say.

  “When I was first diagnosed, the doctor’s thought the prognosis was good. Chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, we did everything they told us to. Everything looked hopeful. As I progressed through the treatment, they said the cancer was shrinking. I finished the treatment, they told me I was in remission, and I went on with my life.”

  He sat so still, his gaze riveted on her.

  “But a year later, I started showing symptoms again and we learned that my cancer had metastasized.”

  “Jesus,” Bram whispered, plunging his fingers into his hair.

  “Since then, my life has been nothing but doctor appointments and experimental treatments. The doctors are trying to slow the spread but it’s not…it’s not…”

  “Working,” Bram rasped.

  She shook her head, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. Her fingers twitched against the table, and she found herself longing for Bram’s touch. Anything to assure her that he was still her friend, that he could look past this omission and forgive her. She knew she didn’t need to tell everyone she met that she was incurably sick, but it felt different with Bram. Her father was right—she should have told him the truth earlier this week.

  She blinked away her tears and turned away from Bram, staring at the many happy couples seated throughout the shop. Everyone looked so cheery and friendly, and she was trying her hardest not to succumb to envy. These people knew nothing of her life. And while she would never wish this on anyone, she’d often wished for just one person she could share the rest of her life with, however short it might be.

  “The last few months have been particularly hard,” she murmured, unable to hold his gaze any longer. “The pain’s been unbearable. I always feel so weak, so I…”

  “Tried to end it,” he breathed. “That’s how you came to be on the beach.”

  “I jumped,” she admitted, her voice thin. “I found myself that morning standing on the edge of a cliff, and I saw the sea beneath me and thought about how wonderful it would feel not to feel anymore.”

  Bram didn’t respond.

  “I wanted it to stop, you know? I couldn’t handle another doctor’s appointment with more devastating news.”

  She heaved a shivering breath, then finally turned to look at him. The sight of tears brimming in his eyes broke her. Mackenzie gasped, her hand darting up to her mouth. She hadn’t intended to hurt him. But the sight of him crying for her destroyed every bit of strength she had left.

  “Bram, I—I—” She shook her head and forced herself to swallow. People were watching them now, watching the drama unfold between them without a clue as to what they were discussing. A light sob hiccupped past her lips. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

  When he didn’t immediately respond, she grabbed her purse and darted out of the coffee shop. Even though he shouted her name, she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t bear to see that look on his face again. One part pity mixed with sadness. It was the same expression her parents always wore, and she couldn’t take it anymore.

  Sniffling, she dug into her purse and pulled out her cell phone. Within minutes, her brother pulled up next to her. Mackenzie braved one last glance behind her, but when she didn’t see Bram, she climbed into her brother’s car and closed the door on that brief chapter of her life.

  6

  It’d been four nights since Mackenzie had obliterated his world, and in that time, Bram hadn’t been able to sleep longer than a few hours or eat anything more than a few bites. Every single text message he’d sent had gone unanswered and every single call had gone right to voicemail.

  He’d blown past worried and devolved into a full blow panic since then.

  Had something happened? Had her health failed her after their emotional conversation? Was she okay? In the hospital? At home?

  He’d debated driving to her house, but that idea terrified him. What if the news were something he couldn’t handle? Maybe they’d only known each other for going on a couple weeks now, but he’d enjoyed every single discussion. The silence these past four nights had been downright torturous.

  After pacing another circle in his kitchen, he snatched his phone off the counter and called her again. Instant voicemail. He listened for a few moments, enjoying her soft dulcets before cursing and tossing his phone back down.

  He needed to take a moment and think. But thinking always led to anger. Anger for how he handled the conversation, anger for Mackenzie’s situation, anger that she hadn’t told him sooner… Not that he expected her to blurt it out to people the instant they met, but she could have said something earlier.

  No, that was ridiculous. He couldn’t expect her to mention she had cancer in a casual text chain. That was a face to face conversation, exactly like she’d done. So why was he mad then?

  He was mad because this entire situation flat out sucked. Just when he’d found someone to care about, someone he could see himself falling for, he learned she had a terminal disease. And he was mad because he wasn’t there to help her through this, to encourage her to fight, to keep tryin
g, to keep believing.

  What sort of friend did that make him?

  Except, he didn’t want to be a mere friend. He wanted more. Whatever she wanted to give. This woman had crashed into his life and utterly demolished it.

  Screw it.

  Swiping his keys off the counter, he stormed out of the house. Maybe he and Mackenzie would never be more than friends. But that was his problem, not hers. He needed to be there for her. She was going through something and she deserved that friend she’d always wanted.

  “Oh, hello dear!” Mrs. Pedinsky called from her yard.

  Bram kept his head down and offered a distant wave. He wasn’t in any mood to engage his chatty neighbor. And for once, it seemed she understood, because she didn’t push the conversation any further.

  The drive to South Raymond seemed to drag. Every red light only amped his anxiety. He feared showing up and learning the worst. When he finally turned onto her street, he released a slow breath. Her car still sat in the driveway, if that meant anything. He parked next to it, then sat there, his hands trembling against the steering wheel. What if she rejected him? What if he’d ruined everything by letting her leave the coffee shop? By not chasing after her? It was a mistake he hoped never to repeat.

  Before he could exit his car, the front door opened, and Mackenzie’s father stepped out onto the porch.

  Bram’s heart stuttered, but he pushed down all his emotions and climbed out of the car. “Senator Daniels.”

  Samuel gave a small nod. “Bram. She doesn’t want to see you.”

  Relief weakened his knees. She was all right, then. Nothing else mattered now except apologizing.

  “I was concerned,” Bram said. “She hasn’t been answering my calls and texts.”

  Samuel frowned. “You’ve been trying to contact her?”

  Bram nodded. “I need her to know how stupid I was. I need to apologize and fix this.”

  “Fix what exactly?” Samuel asked. “She told you, then, I assume?”

  “She did. I admit, I didn’t take the news well.”