Loamhedge

by Brian Jacques

  Fenna was studying the big dark headstone, perched sideways at a crazy angle. “Horty’s indestructible, you’ll see.”

  Bragoon’s head appeared at ground level. “Yore right there, miss. Lend a paw, you two!”

  Saro was on the step behind him. Between them they carried the slumped form of Horty. Heaving and pulling, the four friends managed to lift the young hare onto solid ground, where he curled up as if asleep.

  Saro patted his back. “He took a fall an’ landed on the left side of his head. Pore Horty’s got a fat ear, but there’s no real harm done.”

  Fenna soaked some moss and dabbed at the swollen ear. “He’s taken his share of knocks on this trip. That’s a real thick ear he’s got there.”

  The damp poultice must have worked: Horty groaned and tried to sit up but fell back, complaining miserably. “Yowch, I am awake! I say, d’you mind awfully not scrubbin’ a chap’s wounded ear with that filthy wet stuff. It stings like jolly blue blazes!”

  Springald took out a flask of cordial which she had brought along. “Could you manage a sip of this?”

  Horty grabbed it and downed the lot in three big gulps. “Not that it’ll do the noble young ear much good, but I’ve managed to wet my parched lips with it. Ooh, my achin’ lug!”

  Fenna supported his head. “Poor Horty, it must hurt terribly.”

  The young hare put on a pitiful face. “I must be close t’death. I say Fenn, old scout, you don’t happen to have a bite of scoff about you, wot?”

  Bragoon stifled a laugh. “Nothin’ much wrong wid that ’un! Keep an eye on ’im, you two. We’re goin’ back down to take a look round there. Pass me some more wood an’ grass, Fenn. We got to keep the torch alight.”

  Fenna bundled her cloak under Horty’s head. As the squirrelmaid began gathering more fuel for the torch, she shared her latest discovery with her companions.

  “Now I know why Toobledum could hear moaning on windy nights from the buryin’ place. See that big dark stone, it’s the one that marked this grave. There’s words carved on it. Listen. ‘Sylvaticus. First Mother Abbot of Loamhedge Abbey. Loved by all creatures. Long in seasons and wisdom. Gone to her final rest. Forever in our thoughts.’ This is the very grave we’ve been seeking.”

  Fenna indicated the beautifully carved motif at the top of the headstone. It was a lily in full bloom with a graceful stem sprouting curved and fluted leaves. The entire design was pierced right through the stonework. The squirrelmaid traced it with her paw.

  “This is the flower that never dies. I’ll wager that the wind sings an eerie song through this carving on windy nights. You can’t blame Toobledum for steering clear of here.”

  Bragoon regarded her with admiration. “Yore a bright young ’un, Fenn, that was well thought out. Take care of Horty now, we’ll be back afore ye know it.”

  For the second time, the two old friends descended the stairs.

  Not one to let an injury slip by unnoticed, Horty made the most of his thick ear as the two Abbeymaids ministered to him. “Salad! Now that’s the very stuff for a swollen ear, wot! Any hare’ll tell you, salad’s just the thing, an’ lots of it. Hold hard there, Spring old gel, what’s that sloppy mess? Tut tut, marm, you ain’t physickin’ me with that rubbish!”

  Springald cradled the mixture in a dockleaf. “Don’t be such a Dibbun, Horty Braebuck. It’s a mud-and-moss poultice that will do your ear a power of good. Hold him, Fenn!”

  Horty struggled in the squirrelmaid’s firm grip. “Gerroff me, you flamin’ torturesses. I’ll bet you took lessons from Sister Setiva on how to persecute wounded beasts. Yugh! That dreadful gloop’s gone right down me bloomin’ ear. You’ve done it now, I’ll be deaf on one side for the rest of me short young life. Rotters!”

  Springald tugged the hare’s good ear sharply. “Do hold still! What can you expect if you hop about like that? Now, I’ll just dress it with some dock leaves.”

  Horty looked blankly at her. “What rock thieves? Speak up!”

  When the dressing was completed, he lay down in a sulk, while Springald cast a glance at the grave. “They’ve been gone an awfully long time. What d’you think, shall we go down there and check on them?”

  Fenna nodded eagerly. “Yes, let’s do that. You stay here, Horty. Take a nap or something.”

  They dropped over the edge onto the stairs, with their former patient calling after them.

  “I say, what’s a cap an’ a dumpling? What’s up, have you both gone mad?”

  Holding paws, Springald and Fenna managed the steps and, placing their backs against the rough stone wall, crept forward cautiously. The ground took a curve, dipping steeply. Slowly stumbling on, in total darkness, they were relieved to see the faint glow of a torch ahead. The muted voices of their friends could be heard.

  Fenna called out to them. “Saro, Brag, is that you? We’ve come down for a little peek.”

  The otter’s voice, which sounded rather grumpy, echoed back at them. “I told ye t’stay on top, you should be mindin’ Horty. Who knows wot that buffoon’ll be up to be’ind our backs!”

  Saro’s voice interrupted him. “Oh, there’s no harm done, mate. Let ’em come an’ take a look.”

  It was quite a sight. The passage opened up into an underground chamber, lined with stone walls. At its centre stood a plinth, littered with old bones and a white cloth habit that had faded to the texture of a cobweb. In front of the plinth lay what had once been a chair with wheels but now was little more than a small heap of dry, insect-bored sticks. There were two more torches in wall sconces on one wall behind the plinth.

  After Saro had lit them, she gestured about with her own guttering torch. “Well, this is it, mates. We’ve travelled long’n’far, just to find this sad ole lot. Those bones are wot’s left o’ pore Abbess Sylvaticus. But can ye guess wot those rotted sticks are?”

  Springald picked up a piece of the timber in her paw. It crumbled to dust. “Don’t tell me, this was the chair once used by Sister Amyl. Those little round black stones with holes in them must have been its wheels. Huh, they’re the only things recognisable after all this time.”

  Crouching down, Bragoon sifted through the debris with his swordpoint. “Must’ve been ’ere thousands of seasons. How did the rhyme go . . .

  “Beneath the flower that never grows,

  Sylvaticus lies in repose.

  My secret is entombed with her,

  look and think what you see there.

  A prison with four legs which moved,

  yet it could walk nowhere,

  whose arms lacked paws, but yet they held,

  a wretched captive there.”

  Bragoon rose up and put away his blade. “Aye, that’s Sister Amyl’s chair, sure enough, but where’s the Sister’s secret?”

  Saro gnawed at her lip. “Imagine pore young Martha when we get back an’ tell ’er there was nought but a pile o’ dust an’ four black stones!”

  Springald hung her head miserably. “It doesn’t bear thinking about. Now I wish we’d never found it.”

  Fenna retrieved the four little black stone wheels. She stowed two in her belt pouch and gave the other two to Springald. “At least these’ll prove we’ve been here. Come on, Spring, let’s go back and see how Horty’s doing.”

  Bragoon gave them one of the torches to guide them out. “Aye, you young ’uns go an’ do that. Me’n my ole mate are goin’ to stay down here awhile an’ search.”

  Fenna shrugged glumly. “Waste of time, there’s nothing left to search for. Oh well, please yourselves.”

  The otter cautioned them. “Don’t mention anythin’ to Horty, wot with Miss Martha bein’ ’is sister an’ all that. Tell ’im we’re still searchin’. Better still, take Horty back to ole Toobledum’s ’ouse an’ wait fer us there. We shouldn’t be too long. Will ye do that for me?”

  They nodded and trudged back to Horty.

  Toobledum had taken the liberty of making a meal for them from the remnants of the ration packs. H
is little sand lizard capered about on its back paws, delighted to see the young ones returning.

  The old dormouse proudly raised his floppy hat. “Sit down, one an’ all, see wot I cooked up for ye. Me’n likkle Bubbub did ye a stew. ’Tis made of all things good, wid an apple crumble fer afters an’ a drop o’ me own special whortleberry cup brew to drink. Ho dear, wot ’appened to pore master Horty?”

  Horty blinked oddly at the dormouse. “What the dickens is the old chap wafflin’ about? Who’s he goin’ to plaster for being naughty, wot?”

  Fenna roared down his good ear. “He said, What’s happened to poor master Horty!”

  The young hare waggled a paw in his good ear. “No need to bellow, miss!”

  Then he turned to Toobledum. “Ah, well may you ask, little fat sir. I suffered a dreadful injury to the old ear, but I’m keepin’ jolly brave about it. Mmmm, nothin’ wrong with a chap’s nose, though! That stew smells like just the ticket. Whack me out a large portion, sir dormouse, looks like a splendid cure for thickearitis!”

  Toobledum humoured Horty by giving him a large bowlful. The young hare was halfway through it when he held the bowl out. “Don’t stint on the stew, I always say. Never mind Brag’n’Saro, they’re far too old to appreciate good scoff. I say, those two relics should be back by now. Huh, loiterin’ around graveyards, bloomin’ bad form, they’ll go all morbid.”

  It was over an hour before the two searchers made an appearance. The dormouse and Bubbub welcomed them back. Springald gave them two bowls she had washed out. “Toobledum made some delicious stew, but you’d better get some fast before Horty hogs it all down.”

  The young hare looked up from a beaker of whortleberry cup. “I heard that, marm. Why should frogs fall down? Complete gibberish if y’ask me, wot!”

  Springald waited until the two had finished eating before she enquired. “Well, did you find anything?”

  Saro smiled at Bragoon, who winked back at her as he sipped his drink. “Hmm, whortleberry juice! ’Tis a while since I’ve tasted that. Used t’be me favourite drink at one time.”

  Fenna twirled her bushy tail impatiently. “You haven’t answered the question. Did you find anything?”

  Saro tasted her drink, still smiling secretively. “Aye, ’tis nice, a sweet taste. Mind ye, I was allus partial to a drop o’ nettle beer, like those otterpals o’ yores drinks, up on the north coast.”

  Horty looked from one to the other. “Who’s seen a ghost?”

  Fenna fumed. “Oh, put a cork in it, Horty! Now, Mister Bragoon, Madam Sarobando, will you answer the question. Please!”

  Old Toobledum chuckled. “Heeheehee, I knows ye found somethin’, yore both sittin’ there lookin’ like a pair o’ toads eatin’ trifle. Put the young ’uns out their misery an’ tell ’em, mates.”

  The otter produced a small cylinder of parchment. He tossed it from paw to paw. “We found it—this is Sister Amyl’s secret.”

  Springald was about to reach for it, when Saro caught the cylinder and stowed it in her belt pouch. “No ye don’t, Spring, this is for none but Martha t’read!”

  Fenna pouted indignantly. “How do you know that?”

  Bragoon raised his eyebrows. “Because, miss clever clogs, it sez so on the parchment. Read it to ’em, mate.”

  Saro took out the little scroll that had been tied with a few threads to keep it closed. On the outside was some tiny, squiggly writing. She peered at it closely, reading slow. “Only the one who needs this shall know my secret!”

  Bragoon levelled a paw at them. “None of you young ’uns needs to know, only Martha, ’cos she’s the one who needs it. We haven’t looked at it ourselves, out o’ respect to Martha. So nobeast is goin’ to find out Sister Amyl’s secret except that young hare back at the Abbey o’ Redwall. We’re bound back there at tomorrer’s dawn, with all ’aste!”

  Fenna, however, still had a question that needed answering. “But we saw the place, there was absolutely nothing down there but bones, powdery wood and dust. How did you come to find it?”

  Bragoon paused briefly before launching into his explanation. “It was at the bottom o’ that stone thing where Abbess Sylvaticus lay . . .”

  Springald interrupted. “The plinth, you mean?”

  Saro nodded. “Aye, the plinth, that was it. We was about to leave the place, when I took one o’ those torches off’n the wall, ’cos our torch ’ad gone out. Well, I stubbed me footpaw on the bottom o’ the plinth, an’ one o’ the stones came loose. Brag pulled it out an’ there ’twas, lyin’ as safe an’ neat as ye like, be’ind a stone all that time.”

  Fenna pursued her enquiry. “But why hadn’t it turned to dust like everything else down there?”

  Bragoon picked something that resembled a tiny pellet from under his pawnail. “See . . . beeswax. It was wrapped tight in dock leaves covered with beeswax. I tell ye, it was difficult, separatin’ that liddle roll o’ paper from the beeswax, but we did it!”

  Toobledum poured them more drink. “Well done, mates, you found wot you was questin’ for. I’m ’appy for ye, one an’ all!”

  Horty humphed. “Three scones on a wall, ridiculous, wot?”

  Saro pulled Horty upright. “I’ve had enough o’ this nonsense. Toobledum, bring me some ’ot water, not too ’ot, mind. Brag, lay Horty on one side, wid that muddy ear upwards, an sit on ’im. I couldn’t put up with ’im talkin’ rubbish all the way ’ome!”

  Horty guffawed. “Hawhawhaw! Walkin’ cabbage an’ a bone? Poor old Saro’s finally gone off her rocker, wot!”

  Sudden panic struck as Bragoon pushed Horty down and sat on him. “What the . . . ? Gerroff me, you great plank-tailed bounder! Good grief, what’s that nutty old squirrel doin’ with a jug o’ steamin’ water? Help, somebeast, help! They’re tryin’ to kill me! Murderers, assassins! Boilin’ me blinkin’ brain, an’ just ’cos I scoffed three flamin’ bowls of stew? Spring, Fenna, strike the cads with rocks’n’clubs, save me!”

  But no help was forthcoming. The otter held him tight whilst Saro washed out his ear with warm water. A moment later it was all over. Toobledum gently treated the young hare’s cleaned-up ear.

  “There there, Sir Horty, ye’ll live t’cook agin. This is an ole dormouse remedy, my special ointment. I makes it wid sanicle, feverfew an’ a few secret herbs. So, ’ow does that feel, young master?”

  Horty relaxed, closing his eyes blissfully. “Bloomin’ marvellous, old top, me ear is at peace an’ very comfortable. Amazin’ thing, too, I can hear again!”

  Saro wiped mud and moss from her paws. “See, we never killed ye after all.”

  Springald muttered under her breath. “Pity.”

  Bragoon whispered back to her. “Shame we missed our chance.”

  Fenna’s eyes twinkled as she chuckled along with them. “Just think of the food we’d have saved without a hare to feed.”

  Horty opened one eye and fixed them with a baleful stare. “I heard all that, you rotters!”

  They burst into laughter; even little Bubbub did a squeaky giggle.

  Dawn of the following day saw the travellers bidding farewell to the dormouse and his lizard.

  Fenna hugged the pair fondly. “Why don’t you come with us to Redwall? You’d both be very welcome there.”

  Toobledum’s hat wobbled as he shook his head. “Nay, pretty miss, me’n likkle Bubbub wouldn’t ever leave Loam’edge. We ain’t got much, but ’tis ’ome to us.”

  Saro stroked the little sand lizard one last time.

  Bragoon clasped the old dormouse’s paw warmly. “As ye wish, matey, take care of each other, an’ live happy. Good-bye an’ good fortune to ye!”

  Standing on the hilltop above the valley, the five travellers looked back. Bubbub was shaking his tail as Toobledum waved his hat and shouted, “Fare ye well, one an’ all, an’ take our good wishes with ye!”

  Fenna wiped her eyes as they marched off into the wastelands. “Those poor creatures, it must be terrible for them. Living that lonely li
fe, and with so little to eat.”

  Bragoon ruffled her ears affectionately. “Aye, they’re both goodbeasts, Fenn. But don’t ye go believin’ all that ole dormouse told ye, miss. Yore too young an’ soft’earted.”

  Horty took a pull from his canteen, filled with fresh water from Toobledum’s well. “Steady on, I liked Toob an’ Bub. Bit unkind to talk about the old chap like that, wot?”

  Springald agreed with him. “I think so, too. They’ve only got each other for company, and they shared what little they have. Why shouldn’t we believe what Toobledum said?”

  The otter cast a wry glance at his old friend. “That dormouse is a hermit, he likes bein’ alone. As fer not havin’ much in the way o’ vittles . . . tell ’em, Saro.”

  The aging squirrel explained. “When I was swillin’ Horty’s ear out, I watched Toobledum goin’ to fetch that special ointment. Hah, the ole fogy didn’t think I could see ’im. He went into a corner an’ lifted a floorstone. Do ye know wot was underneath it? A cellar, packed from wall t’wall wid vittles. Drinks, dried fruits, veggibles, nuts, enough t’feed an army fer ten seasons. That’s ’ow short o’ food Mister Toobledum was, mates. Brag saw it, too!”

  Horty stopped in his tracks. “Well, the flamin’ old fraud, wolfin’ down all our grub an’ tellin’ whoppin’ fibs about havin’ none himself. What a blinkin’ cheek!”

  Fenna could hardly believe what she had heard. “That’s a shameful thing to do, the old liar!”

  Springald was about to add to their condemnation of Toobledum, when the otter cut in. “Don’t be too ’ard on the ole feller. Vittles an’ drink is precious in this region. If ye’ve got none, yore a deadbeast. Toobledum was only thinkin’ of hisself an’ liddle Bubbub. We were just passin’ visitors. Now that we’ve gone, he’s got to provide for ’imself an’ his mate. ’Tis called survival. Ye don’t go dashin’ to the first beast ye see an’ offerin’ them a cellarful o’ grub, ye takes care of yore own first.”

  Fenna held up her paws. “Alright, we understand, Toobledum’s only doing what’s best for himself and Bubbub. Please don’t rub it in by telling us we’re only young and we’ll learn.”