First Loser

by Charity Parkerson

  “No. That’s not what makes your heart so beautiful. It’s just you. Nothing would make me happier than marrying you.” Tanner didn’t smile or cheer. In fact, he sat there as if waiting for more. “As soon as possible,” Henry added.

  Tanner smiled. “I was waiting on a but. You sounded unsure.”

  A loud sigh escaped Henry.

  Tanner used his hold on Henry’s ass to haul him even closer. “I’m joking.” He pressed a hard and quick kiss to Henry’s lips. “I love you, sexy. You won’t regret me.”

  “I’m not sure regretting you is even possible, no matter what. Your swimsuit is soaking through my pants. If that doesn’t scream love. Nothing does.”

  Tanner’s smile grew. He tightened his hold on Henry and stood. “Well, I mean, since you’re already wet.”

  Horror raced through Henry as Tanner stood without letting go. “No.”

  An evil sounding chuckle escaped Tanner. “Oh, yeah. I think you need to be a little wetter to prove your love.”

  Before Henry could argue again, Tanner ran toward the pool. Henry tightened his hold on Tanner’s neck and wrapped his legs harder around the man’s waist as Tanner leapt through the air. He squeezed his eyes shut a split second before the water engulfed him. He nearly drowned as he came up laughing. Henry’s entire body shook with happiness. Being with Tanner was like having back his youth. Henry knew in his heart, even if he lived to be a hundred, he would never feel like he had gotten enough time with Tanner. In that moment, he hated his age as much as he loved Tanner, because no amount of time would ever quench this hunger for Tanner. As their lips met and their kiss turned heated, Henry swore he would give Tanner a hundred years’ worth of love no matter how much time they got together. This was his other half.

  Six

  Tanner: I asked Henry to marry me.

  Tucker: And?

  Toby: When is the wedding?

  Tucker: He didn’t say if Henry said yes.

  Toby: Congrats! Of course, he said yes. Henry loves you.

  Tanner: Yes, he said yes. I’ll let you know about the wedding. Sorry to tell you over text, but I didn’t want y’all to argue about who I called first.

  Tucker: Good, because it would’ve been me.

  Toby: Like hell.

  Tanner: **sigh**

  For several minutes, Tanner stood to the side of Henry’s office door and watched him work. Honestly, Tanner didn’t think he was working, per se, but he was definitely focused on something on his computer with a crazy amount of intensity. He never dreamed he could be so obsessed with anyone. In truth, when his brothers and he had decided to start Cubs for Rent, Tanner hadn’t thought it would be an issue going on dates with as many people as possible with no feelings involved, because he had never fallen for a single person his whole life. Of course, there were many years he never saw anyone but his father and brothers, so he wasn’t normal. Still, never in his wildest dreams had Tanner expected to feel so much love for one person. Henry glanced up, catching him staring. He blushed.

  Tanner smiled so hard at the sight that his cheeks ached from it. “Why are you blushing? Did I catch you watching porn?”

  With a chuckle, Henry shook his head and motioned for Tanner to join him. “I’ve been looking at rings, but I can’t find anything. It’s not like me to be this picky.” He shook his head again. “I don’t know. There’s just something missing in every one of them.”

  Tanner dragged a chair next to Henry and glanced at the screen. He kept his eyes locked on the computer, even as he passed a single red rose Henry’s way. Tanner didn’t look to see how it was received. The only thing he cared about was making Henry happy. After a moment, he leaned back and dug through his pocket, finding the reason he had been hovering in the first place. He set the ring box on the desk in front of Henry. “Maybe it’s because those rings aren’t the ones I bought for you.”

  For a moment, Henry stared at the box in silence before meeting Tanner’s gaze. “You bought rings?”

  Tanner nodded. “I’d been planning to ask you the right way for a while now. Honestly, I don’t know what happened yesterday. It just sort of popped out. Sorry you didn’t get a better proposal.”

  “It was perfect,” Henry said, giving him a quick kiss. He reached for the box and Tanner held his breath. The rings were actually a bit simplistic, but he thought they were perfect. Henry popped open the box and stared at the contents in silence.

  Tanner broke. “If you don’t like them, I can exchange them for something different.”

  Henry ran the tip of his finger across the two bands. One was a thin gold band with a tiny diamond sunk into the ring. The other was a wider band to match. Henry still didn’t speak.

  Tanner’s nerves frayed. “The thinner one is meant to be worn now as an engagement ring. The other is your wedding band to add to the other on our wedding day. They kind of lock together. Still, if you don’t like them…” His leg bounced. Tanner tried to sit still.

  “They’re perfect.” Henry met Tanner’s stare. “I’m just really moved.” His voice sounded strained—like Tanner really had wowed him. “I’ve been looking at rings all morning, kind of frustrated because nothing felt right but I didn’t know why. You’re right. It’s because they weren’t from you. Now I just have to find you a set,” he added with a laugh.

  The sound made Tanner’s stomach muscles clench with desire. “I’m getting you in this marriage. Anything else is just icing, so don’t stress.” Tanner swiped his hands on his thighs. “Try it on.”

  The way Henry smiled—like a kid with a new toy had Tanner matching his happiness level. Henry slipped the set on. It fit perfectly. Tanner couldn’t help but feel like it was yet another sign they were meant to be. “Leave them on,” Tanner said before he could stop himself. He couldn’t watch Henry take off the rings. “Let’s go to Vegas.” He couldn’t stop. Desperation owned him. “I want the world to know you’re mine.” Plus, he was scared shitless Henry would change his mind.

  “I’ll concede to half your request. I won’t take off the rings, but I want a real wedding. Don’t worry,” he said before Tanner could argue. “I’m not talking about a year of planning or anything crazy like that. Like you, I want to be married as fast as possible, but I also want all the fanfare. I want the engagement party where I get to show off how lucky I am, and the gorgeous wedding that has everyone talking. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I want everyone to know it.”

  As much as Tanner wanted to argue, Henry looked happy. He couldn’t deny him this. “Whatever makes you happy, I’m in. Just promise me you won’t stress yourself out, okay? This is supposed to be happy and I want you to enjoy it. Don’t try so hard to make it perfect that you don’t get to experience it.”

  “Promise. Give me two weeks to pull this off and I swear we’ll be married. No stress.”

  Tanner took a breath. He didn’t want to wait, but he would for Henry. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Henry pulled a worried face. “What do you think your brothers will say? I’m a lot older than you.”

  “They’re thrilled,” Tanner rushed to assure him. “I told them this morning. We know one another better than anyone. They know I wouldn’t have asked you if this wasn’t real. Toby and Tucker will stand behind us no matter what.”

  A sad smile tugged at Henry’s lips. “It must be nice to have people in your corner.”

  “It’s our corner now.” Tanner needed Henry to know they were a team. He was Henry’s family now.

  Henry made an impatient gesture, as if recalling something important. “Speaking of your brothers, I’ve been thinking, I’m not really needed here much. How do you feel about splitting our time? We have the cabin in Texas. Let’s live there part of the year.”

  Hope nearly crushed Tanner’s chest. “But California is your home.”

  “So? Texas is yours. If you can uproot your life for me, I can do it for you. I want you to be close to your brothers. Plus, the cabin is smaller
and cozy. We’re right on top of each other, and that’s always fun.”

  Tanner shook his head. He was blown away by Henry. “I have no idea how I got so lucky, but I really fucking love you. You’re amazing.” For a long moment, they simply stared at each other, as if equally blown away by the knowledge they had found each other. Out of nowhere, an overwhelming sense of regret washed over Tanner. Henry deserved so much better than he was getting. Tanner was half crazy and had a past he couldn’t tell anyone. Henry deserved to know that before he tied his life to Tanner. “I’m sorry about how I acted last time we were at the cabin. I mean, I don’t regret we got things straightened out, but I’m sorry you fell in love with someone who’s not particularly good at life.” He wasn’t expressing himself well and that was pretty par for course with Tanner. It frustrated him. “No doubt there were a million different ways I could’ve handled my anger better, but I was never allowed to be upset growing up.” Tanner struggled to explain without saying too much. “My brothers and I had to be as invisible as possible, because it was safer when we didn’t draw attention to ourselves.” Tanner fought a growl. He didn’t know how to say what he wanted to say. “I probably could have done better.”

  Henry grabbed his hands and held on, steadying Tanner. The pressure eased in his chest at the understanding and strength in Henry’s eyes. “I trust you.” Tanner took a breath at Henry’s claim. The air felt lighter. Henry didn’t stop. “We needed to learn how to talk to each other and we did. That’s all that matters. We both obviously had fathers that left their mark, but I think we’re better people than they were. I don’t think it’s possible for you to ever disappoint me. You’re pretty much the only reason I get up every day.”

  “I never would’ve accepted your father’s bribe.” His sudden confession dragged a laugh from Henry just as Tanner hoped, but he was serious. He snagged Henry’s waist and hauled Henry into his lap. “I would rather live penniless and in a tent with you than have a dime. Trust me, I’ve lived in a tent. I can do it. Your dad wouldn’t have stood a chance against me. I would’ve had him tearing his hair out, because you’re mine. There’s not enough money in the world to replace you.” He kissed Henry’s neck, blowing against his skin and making noises that had Henry laughing harder. His kisses turned sweet until his lips barely brushed Henry’s skin. Tanner’s heart was full.

  Henry settled deeper into Tanner’s hold. “I would’ve let him disown me for you. We could’ve run away where neither your father nor mine could find us and you would’ve kept us safe. But I have to say, thank god I didn’t have to make that choice, because now I get to spend his money on the one thing that would’ve killed him, getting married to the man of my dreams. So, fuck the past.”

  Tanner couldn’t stop smiling. He didn’t say it, but Tanner’s dad would have hated that Tanner was marrying a rich man. Both their fathers were probably spinning in their graves. But like Henry said, fuck the past. They had survived to find each other. They were a goddamn miracle.

  Seven

  While listening to the phone ring, Tanner chewed on the side of his nail. He had waited too long to make this call, but it needed to be done. Finally, after the fourth ring, Legend’s sexy voice tumbled through the line. “Hello, there, gorgeous. It’s nice to see your name appearing on my phone.”

  “Flirt.”

  Legend chuckled at the accusation.

  Tanner smiled at the sound. He couldn’t avoid this any longer. Legend was his friend. “So, I have news and I’m not sure how it’ll be received.”

  “Oooh, a confession. Do tell. Does this have anything to do with you dating Henry?”

  For a moment, Tanner floundered. “I didn’t realize you knew that, but yeah.”

  Legend snorted. “Um, one of your brothers is a shameless gossip.” Tucker. “And he knew I wouldn’t care. I love you and Henry truly is a great guy. He just wasn’t my great guy. I’m glad he found you, but I’m even happier for you. You deserve to have someone who will shower you with affection. Henry will definitely do that.”

  Tanner smiled into the phone like an idiot. He was ridiculously happy. “Well, you knowing about Henry makes things easier, since there’s more. We’re getting married.”

  “Whoa,” Legend breathed, sounding blown away. “I never thought I would see the day any of the Kodiak boys would tie the knot. Congratulations. Make sure you let Henry know how happy I am for you both.”

  Tanner fought the urge to chew on his nail again. “You could tell him yourself if you’re willing to come to our wedding next week.”

  Silence met his words. Tanner fully expected to get shot down. Finally, Legend cleared his throat. “Sure. Wow. That’s… wow. Just let me know. Do I need to book a flight to Texas? I can do whatever you need.”

  “It’s here. That’s another reason I called. We plan to live here in California a majority of the year, but I need to still pull my weight with the business. I can’t leave everything on Toby and Tucker’s shoulders. How do you feel about introducing me to some guys out here who might be interested in working for us?”

  Legend didn’t hesitate. “I’m in. Whenever you want to get together, I can think of a few people.”

  Legend never let him down, which really, that knowledge doubled Tanner’s guilt. “Are you positive I haven’t made things weird? Your friendship means a lot to my brothers and me.”

  “Stop,” Legend said, sounding firm. “Look, the thing with Henry was as much my fault as it was his. I was falling for Pytor and Yaro at the time, and that was scary as hell. Henry felt like the safe choice and he deserved better than to be my escape plan. Honestly, I think this whole thing just proves there’s a bigger plan for us all. If Henry hadn’t felt the need to chase me to Texas to apologize, he never would have met you. Everything happened exactly how it should so I could end up where I am, and you could end up where you’re supposed to be. Tucker says it’s beyond obvious that Henry is head over heels for you, which is high praise coming from him. That’s a beautiful thing. I can’t wait to see you both.”

  Tanner dragged a deep breath into his lungs. He had been putting off talking to Legend for so long that it seemed odd to have everything off his chest, but he felt better. “I can’t wait to see you too, and those sexy men of yours. I’ll text you with the wedding details, okay?”

  “Sounds good. Now that I know you’re in town, don’t be a stranger, okay?”

  “I won’t. Talk to you soon.”

  “See ya,” Legend said, disconnecting their call.

  Tanner shook his head. He was a bit amazed that things had gone so well. In truth, he had also been a little worried that talking to Legend would stir some jealousy inside him. It was ridiculous. Legend didn’t want Henry, but Henry had asked Legend to marry him. Tanner didn’t want that knowledge to come between them. Unfortunately, Tanner wasn’t always reasonable.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Tanner.”

  Tanner set his cellphone aside and turned at Gray’s sudden appearance. He couldn’t fight the chuckle rising in his throat over being called Mr. Tanner. “How many times do I have to tell you, it’s okay to just call me Tanner.”

  Gray nodded the way he always did every time they had this conversation. “I don’t like to overstep more than once in the same conversation, and I plan to overstep.”

  “Of course. Where’s the fun in holding back?” Before Gray was forced to search for a polite way to sidestep Tanner’s question, Tanner moved on. “What can I help you with, Mr. Gray?” Tanner didn’t know why he always had to fuck with Gray. The man was a professional at his job, for sure. Maybe that’s what made it so much fun.

  Gray’s chest expanded, fascinating Tanner. Tanner had never seen Gray look uncomfortable. He was seeing it now. “I’m sorry for speaking out of turn, Mr. Tanner, but the staff and I really like you. You make Mr. Krill smile and laugh. None of us ever saw that before you got here.”

  “Thank you. I like everyone here too.”

  Gray gave him a sharp nod, acknowle
dging his words. “That’s why we are excited about your upcoming wedding and feel you should know that the slimy Gerard is downstairs alone with Mr. Krill.”

  Gray’s warning solidified Tanner’s growing unease about Henry’s ex. “Huh. I thought maybe it was just jealousy that had me hating that guy’s face.”

  Henry’s personal assistant shook his head. “It’s not just you. He’s not a good person. As Mr. Krill’s employee, I’m not at liberty to say as much to Mr. Krill, but Gerard is no good and I’m always worried when he’s alone with Mr. Krill.”

  Just the fact that Gray only used Gerard’s first name proved how little respect the staff had for the man. Tanner wanted to know everything. “Tell me everything.”

  Gray’s chest expanded again on another deep breath and Tanner knew he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear. But Tanner knew he needed to hear it. He just hoped it was a quick story, because he had the love of his life to save.

  By force of will and distraction, Henry managed to make it through his rescheduled meeting with Gerard. While he had only listened with half an ear, since he had been trying to choose a wedding gift for Tanner that wouldn’t send him running for the hills, Henry still didn’t understand why Gerard had insisted upon rescheduling at all. It was all boring bullshit that didn’t require his attention.

  The moment Gerard declared himself finished with his report, Henry pounced. “I can never tell if I’m being over the top. Keeping that in mind, which of these things sounds less outrageous to you—a month long stay at a private resort in Fiji or a car?”

  Gerard blinked at Henry like he had lost his mind. Henry propped up his chin with his fist and waited. This was a wedding gift. It had to be perfect.

  “Fiji,” Gerard said after a minute. “It’s harder to guess the price tag on that one. Who are you…” Gerard’s eyes widened as he trailed off. “Are you wearing a wedding band?”