by Celia Kyle
“Valerie?” came a voice through the ether of her panic attack.
She couldn’t reply. Her lungs had deflated and refused to work any longer, as if breathing was just too much trouble. Something wet dripped on her hands, and she managed to peek open her eyelids enough to see clear liquid. Touching her cheek, she was shocked when her fingers came away glistening with moisture.
Tears?
The last time she’d cried had been the summer between fifth and sixth grades. She and her friend Jenny Watson had argued, and Jenny had called her the ugliest word in the world. That word. She’d run home crying, knowing her mother would cuddle and comfort her, maybe even call Jenny’s mom and ream her out. But as soon as Val had sputtered out what had happened—between great, gasping sobs—Good Ol’ Mom had grabbed Val’s shoulders and given her a hard shake.
“Get hold of yourself, girl,” Gretchen Logan had snarled past the ever-present cigarette between her lips. “People are assholes, and kids are the biggest ones of all. Them and politicians. You best get used to it or life’s gonna chew you up and spit you out.”
Perhaps not the best advice, but the best her mother had ever managed to give her. Valerie eventually grew thick skin that rude or racist comments bounced off—they may have stung, but they never penetrated—and she never cried again. Not even when…
Sobs rolled over her like the concussion from a grenade. She’d kept it all in for so long, pretending she was fine and refusing to look the monster in the face. But the floodgates had opened and there was no holding back now.
Her knees buckled under the weight of it all and she was falling. Then strong arms caught her. Zeke’s arms. She struggled against him, not wanting him to see her so weak, so fragile, wanting to prove her strength.
“Shh,” he murmured in her ear as he held her tight to his chest. “I’m here, my love. You’re safe.”
Somehow, she’d gone from standing to lying on the ground, cradled in his arms as he stroked her face, her hair, her arms, reassuring and comforting her like no one ever had. His soft whispers were like a light in the dark and she followed them up, up, up until she was back in the present moment.
That’s when she really let loose. Clutching at him, she wept for everything she’d lost, everything she’d never had, and everything she would never have. All of the grief and guilt, her nebulous place in the world, her feelings for Zeke—they all collided inside her to create the perfect storm of tears.
Valerie Logan, who had walled off her emotions and built a fortress around her heart, was a blubbering mess. But she didn’t care. For the first time in her life, she let herself be vulnerable, really vulnerable. Zeke wouldn’t think any less of her for it. She knew that without reserve.
Besides, the longer she cried, the lighter she felt. It wasn’t as if a single crying jag would fix all her issues but allowing someone else to help carry the burden turned out to be exactly what she needed in that moment.
As her sobs lessened and her tears dried, she simply enjoyed the warmth of Zeke’s body and the steady, rhythmic beat of his heart. Pushing back, she looked into his face to see how he was handling her breakdown. He was as still and calm as a tideless pond, his eyes full of soft understanding.
“You can tell me,” he said and then quickly added, “if you want.”
God, she’d talked about it so much, yet never really at all. Only official reports and debriefings. Only the facts, never the emotions. Even the rest of her squad had remained tight-lipped when it came to their feelings. They were soldiers, dammit. Shit happened.
“Get used to it or life’s gonna chew you up and spit you out,” she muttered under her breath as she nestled back in the crook of Zeke’s arm.
“Hmm?”
“Nothing.”
They sat like that for a long time while Valerie decided what, if anything, she would tell him. In the end, it boiled down to a simple question: What did she have to lose?
“Afghanistan,” she began with a heavy sigh. “Can’t say much, but… I lost a good man on a mission, a young man. Barely out of boot camp.”
She waited for him to try and fix it, to say they were in a war zone and people died in war zones, to insist it wasn’t her fault. War sucked, and she’d better get used to it or life was going to chew her up and spit her out. But he didn’t. He listened silently and waited silently, giving her the freedom to say and feel whatever she wanted.
“I made the call to go in, and it was the wrong call. I couldn’t have known… Bottom line, he was under my command. He was my responsibility, and I led him to his grave. His parents had to bury their only son because of me.”
“What was his name?”
Val smiled sadly. “Jack Armstrong. Such a good name. Don’t you think? Strong, like the kind of guy you’d like to sit around and have a beer with, or maybe go to a game. And that’s exactly who he was.”
Zeke’s embrace tightened almost imperceptibly, but he said nothing. It dawned on Val that Zeke was a warrior two. A different flavor, to be sure, but he was nonetheless. Whether he’d had anyone die during his time as alpha didn’t matter. With wolves, it was bound to happen eventually. From what Chloe had told her about blood feuds and rogue wolf packs, it sorta came with the territory.
Sliding his hand down her arm, he entwined his fingers with hers, his thumb brushing the fleshy part of her hand softly, sending all sorts of very pleasant sensations skittering up her arms.
“Valerie,” he said, his hot breath whispering against her ear, “I’m not going to try and stop you from leaving. But I do need you to know if you stay here with me, if you can bring yourself to accept that fated mates do exist in the form of us, you will belong.”
She shook her head. “Levi—”
“Levi will be punished for his foolish action against my guest, but you have to remember that you’re not a member of the pack yet. If you decide to join me—join us—he and everyone in the pack will be bonded to you through me. The claiming bite won’t just change you. It will change everyone a little bit. You will be part of our family, and Levi and the elders would die to protect you, their alpha mate.”
It all sounded too good to be true. “I don’t know…”
“Okay, I’m going to play my last card,” he said, a smile in his voice. “You and Chloe? You’d be sisters.”
She twisted around to grin up at him. “You should have led with that, dummy!”
He dropped a kiss on her nose and cradled her face in his hands as his eyes searched hers. “I just have one question. Do you love me?”
Panic seized her chest for the blink of an eye and then subsided just as quickly. The instinct to run at any talk of love had been ingrained long ago and was hard to break, but…he was worth it.
“I think so?” she answered tentatively and then dropped her defenses entirely. “I’m quite sure, actually. I have no idea about this fated mates thing, though. Is what I’m feeling any different than regular old love?”
“Honestly, I’m not entirely sure,” he said. “Have you ever fallen as deeply in love with someone over the course of just a few days before?”
Val caught his gaze and held on for dear life. “I’ve never actually been in love before. Ever.”
Zeke’s face split into a big, satisfied smile. “Me either. Not like this.”
“Don’t get all cocky, fella,” she teased, poking him in the chest.
“I wouldn’t think of it. Okay, so close your eyes and imagine leaving Tremble behind, leaving me, and going back to the Army. How does that make you feel?”
She did as he asked and then quickly popped her eyes back open. “Like my insides are being pulled out through my mouth.”
“Same for me. Times a million. Valerie, I’ve never been surer about anything in my entire life. You’re my fated mate, Val. I know it, my wolf knows it, and I think deep down you know it.”
“Promise?” she asked, almost in a little girl voice.
“I promise. Once you accept the bite, you will
become one of us. One with me. You’re already amazing, but the bite will change you. It will make you stronger, faster, more in tune with nature and with your new pack. And with me. Will you accept it, Valerie? Will you accept me as your fated mate?”
Val stood on the precipice and looked over the edge. It was a long, long way down. But she knew with every beat of her heart, Zeke would catch her.
Fear still niggled at her, but she was no longer sure what she was afraid of. Certainly not death. She’d stared the bastard in the face more times than she could count. Some might be afraid to lose contact with their friends and family, but her family sucked, and it seemed all of her true friends were wolves. So, if fears of dying or losing her family weren’t holding her back, then whatever was trying to keep her from living the life she really wanted could go suck a dick.
“Oh, hell yeah.”
Zeke’s smile turned into a grin and he tipped his head back to howl like a lunatic. “Damn, you’re going to be one bad-ass wolf.”
And just like that, everything became crystal clear. This was really happening, and Val could no longer hold herself back. Twisting around in Zeke’s arms, she pushed him to the ground and lowered herself so her mouth hovered a millimeter above his lips, their warm breath mingling so intimately. Flicking her tongue against the seam of his mouth drew a prolonged moan from him, making Val smile with primal need.
“Let’s do this!” she said, before capturing his lips in a fierce kiss.
Chapter Eighteen
Zeke chuckled against Val’s lips, joy suffusing him with her acceptance—her enthusiasm. He grasped her hips and pulled her flush against him, her center nestled over his growing hardness. Her tongue sought entrance and he gave in, parting his lips so she could take the kiss deeper. He would allow her this bit of control—for now.
He let his hands wander, exploring her body and discovering the secrets it still held. Fabric barred his way, but he didn’t care. He memorized her curves, the feel of her plump ass in his hands and the way her waist narrowed. He continued his exploration, skimming her ribs and moving around to cup her sweet, sweet breasts. His mate was a hardened warrior but still had the curves meant to drive men wild.
And now she would be all his. His and his alone. Every inch of her lush, brown skin was his to worship, to enjoy, to discover.
Valerie stroked him as much as he toyed with her—her hands roaming and caressing him with growing urgency. The scent of her desire perfumed the air, the muskiness growing in strength and his mouth watered with the need to taste her once more. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get enough of her taste.
She pushed on his jacket and he shrugged, helping her strip it from his body. He tossed it aside, his shirt soon following, and his wolf snarled at him. Stripping was all well and good, but they needed their mate nude as well.
So, he set about removing Val’s clothing, claws allowing him to slice through her shirt in a single, long stroke of his nails through cloth. She shuddered and moaned against his lips, the flavors of her desire flooding the air in another tormenting wave. She liked his wolf—liked it when he grew forceful and rough.
There was more where that came from.
Not wanting to struggle with her bra, he gave it the same treatment—a quick slice parting the material so she could shrug off the bit of lace. It joined the remnants of her shirt, and now she was bared to him from the waist up—beautiful skin and dark nipples ready for his hands, his mouth.
He didn’t hesitate to pull from their kiss and go after what he craved most… the taste of her skin on his tongue. He lowered his head and captured her nipple between his teeth, suckling the hard nub with long, slow sucks. He flicked the hard bit of flesh with his tongue, pulling a deep moan from his mate. She fisted his hair, tugging on the strands and sending a spark of pain through his blood, and he responded by sucking harder, taking more from her.
Val rolled her hips, rocking against his hard cock in a pale mirror of what they would soon do. Mate. His cock was already rock hard and anxious to sink into her over and over again. Anxious to fill her with his seed—his scent—and claim her once and for all. But not until he discovered all of her sensual secrets. Like the taste of her other breast. He abandoned his prize with a soft pop and moved to the other, drawing it into his mouth and lapping at her nipple with a long stroke.
She arched her back, pushing her breast deeper into his mouth, silently begging for more. And he gave it. He gave her what she craved since he wanted it just as much as she did.
“Please. God, Zeke.”
Her desperation was so evident in her voice that he couldn’t help but smile against her smooth skin, a chuckle joining his grin. She wanted him. And she’d get him.
Zeke let her nipple drop from his mouth and he brushed his lips across the nub. “What do you need?”
Val whimpered and brought her attention to him, her eyes locked on his. “Is this what you want?” She paused and licked her lips, pink tongue darting into sight before disappearing once again. “Me? This mating? I’m human.”
God, how could she ask such a question? “I want you. I want this. You—your humanity—doesn’t matter.”
“I don’t understand how you can change your mind so quickly…” she whispered and her gaze grew serious, some of the passion they’d shared slowly lowering to a simmer. “How sure are you this won’t kill me?”
Zeke reached around her, his palms skimming her spine until he gripped the back of her neck. He needed to control her at that moment. Make her see. “I’ve been an ass,” he growled. “I’ve ignored the truth. You’re my mate. Period. And no mate of mine is dying.”
Val pulled against his hold, lowering her head until their foreheads touched. “I’ve never had more to lose.”
“Let me love you, Val. Let me show you. I want this. I want you. You’re my mate and I won’t allow anything to stop this. If you don’t want me to claim you when the time comes, I’ll stop. But don’t ask me not to make love to you here and now. Please.”
He’d never begged in his life and yet… He’d begged his mate.
“Okay.”
With her agreement, he sought her pleasure in earnest. He brought his mouth to hers and seduced her with his kiss, tongue playing in her mouth while his lips performed their own sensual dance. His touch returned to her breasts, one hand cupping the fullness of one mound while the other went to her ass. He kneaded and squeezed her, thoughts of what lay beneath her shorts taunting him. Two layers of fabric—shorts and panties—blocked him from his ultimate goal.
He refused to be stopped for long. His wolf lent him its claws once more, fingers going to the sides of her shorts and nails carefully sliding through the cloth with ease.
He pulled from their kiss just long enough to speak against her lips. “Lift up, Val. Just a little.”
She did and that quick he had the last remnants of her clothing whisked away. The destroyed fabric joined the growing sprawl beside them. The clothing would be a decent barrier between them and the leaf strew ground—a fact that had him rolling them with ease, Valerie’s back atop their discarded clothes.
She squeaked with his sudden move, but he didn’t have time to reassure her, not when this new position gave him more space to explore her nude body. And this time he wouldn’t stop at simply touching and tasting. He’d sink into her, bury himself in her slick pussy and not leave until she’d come around his cock a half-dozen times. The mere idea of her inner walls rippling around him had a shudder racing down his spine. Yes, that would be better than any other experienced he’d ever had.
Val squirmed and gasped, legs lifting to wrap around his hips and tightening to force his hard cock to rub against her wet pussy once again. Something he wanted to do, but without troublesome clothing in the way. He wanted bare flesh on bare flesh.
“Zeke.” She rocked her hips and shuddered, releasing a low whimper.
He couldn’t resist her—not now, not ever. He mimicked her movement, driving his hard cock along
her slick folds. Fabric scraped her sensitive flesh and she mewled.
“Zeke.” His name was a harsh rasp that time, a mixture of pleasure and a low demand. “I… I need.”
He needed too. So much.
Delicate fingers went to his jeans, blunted human nails scrambling against his skin as she struggled to unsnap and unzip his pants. She wanted him naked? He was happy to oblige. He gave her a harsh, rough kiss and pulled away, easily rolling to his feet in a single, fluid movement.
He stared down at his mate, dappled light dancing across her pale brown skin. Her cheeks were flushed with her desire, nipples hard points and her pussy glistening with evidence of her need. So perfect.
He got rid of his jeans with ease, a quick fold and then he dropped them to the ground between Val’s thighs. Something to rest his knees on while he fucked his pretty, perfect mate and then claimed her. Because it was about that time. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could resist the perfection of that tight cunt. Not much, surely.
He knelt between her legs, her thighs splayed widely and open for him.
“What do you want, Val?” He wrapped his fingers around his shaft, squeezing his length tight to stave off his release. Just looking at her nearly had him coming. What would it be like when he got inside her?
A mixture of heaven and hell. But what a beautiful hell it would be.
“This. You. Us.” Three words that said so little yet at the same time said everything that needed saying.
It scared Valerie to say the words but when Zeke’s eyes flared amber with a mixture of excitement and joy, she was glad she’d given them to him. She wanted what he had to give—or at least a chance at the happiness and belonging he promised. If he was wrong, if she wasn’t his mate, she might still die, but… But everything in her screamed that being with Zeke was right.
Then he was there, bigger than she remembered. Big and hard and the head of his cock poised at her entrance. The tip of his dick teased her pussy, one hand wrapped around the base of his length as he teased her with the head. He slid the blunted tip up and down her slickness, nudging her clit for a brief moment before lowering to taunt her entrance once more. Up and down he tormented her, her sensitive flesh quivering beneath his onslaught.