by Jane Charles
“Huh?” Sometimes I just wish Tex would speak English.
“Waste of time, darlin’.” He winks. “Words just come back at ya and you end up talking to yourself.”
“Fine,” I bite out. The sooner I get there, the quicker I can come home.
“What hospital?” Tex asks as they start rolling the gurney to the ambulance.
“Brooklyn.”
“I’ll be right behind you.”
“You don’t need to come with me.”
“Hush, darlin’. I’m not leaving your side unless I have to.”
Darlin’? The words warm my heart because I wish I was his darling, but it’s just another term of endearment for Tex and means nothing.
X-rays, doctors, CT scans, blood, needles, tubes and beeping machines. That’s everything that Nina has faced since they brought her in and each time the doctors went off to consult, all quiet like, I got more worried.
Nina’s been in and out since they brought her in and that worries me too. She has a closed head injury, or concussion. It’s natural that she’d want to sleep after what she’s gone through, but she was also unconscious for a long time so the CT scan was also to check on her brain, the reason they are keeping her overnight. If this would have happened at night, before bed, I’d get her wanting to sleep so much, but for Nina to keep drifting off in the middle of the day is worrisome.
I hate seeing her just lying there when she’s normally so active during this time of the day.
I’ve updated Miguel each time I’ve gotten an update. I don’t want to leave Nina’s side but I was afraid that he’d want me go back to the gym to cover the shifts, but he got Ian and Joel to come in so I can stay here as long as necessary.
Nina is going to be pissed when she finds out the concussion is going to keep her from participating in any kind of sports or working for a couple of weeks. No playing soccer for a month, not that the leagues have started up yet. But, the doctor said he may not give her permission to go back to rugby for a couple of months. It will depend on how long her symptoms last. That part I’m not telling her because, knowing Nina, she’ll insist she is okay even if she is still having symptoms. Being relegated to the front desk at Miguel’s for two to three weeks is going to drive her crazy too. Horns doesn’t know how to do nothing.
I just hope I’m not the one who has to tell her, but it will fall to me and Miguel to keep her from overdoing it and it’s not going to be easy.
The nurse comes in and gently wakes Nina.
She blinks up at the woman and winces.
“Can you tell me your name?” she asks.
“Horns,” Nina answers, still a little groggy.
The nurse turns to me, alarm in her eyes.
“It’s a nickname. More people call her by that than her real name.”
The nurse relaxes and focuses back on Nina.
I get why they are asking these questions. They are testing the severity of the concussion and if she starts giving weird or wrong answers, they’ll call in a neurologist, if they haven’t already.
“When were you born?”
“January 1st.”
“Do you have siblings?”
“Two brothers. One sister.”
I sit forward. I had no idea she had siblings. I know she said something about family forgetting about her, but she never elaborated.
Where they hell are they? Is that why she seems sad sometimes? She’s gotten a look, almost longing, when I’ve mentioned my family. I always thought it was because she never had a chance to have brothers and sisters.
“Do you remember what happened?”
With that, Nina frowns. “I think I fell? I’m not sure.” There’s a chance she might not remember what happened. It’s the way of brain injuries. Sometimes a couple of days around the initial injury are forgotten. She recalled some when she first woke in the alley, but those memories are already fading.
“It’s okay if you don’t remember right now,” the nurse assures her.
12
Most everything is a fog. Only bits and pieces, but no clear memory of what happened. The last real, solid memory is folding towels at the front counter when I made the basketball team leave and Tex didn’t think I could get a date.
The steady beat behind me increases in tempo right before a warm hand closes over mine. I turn to see who is here.
Tex is sitting in the chair, watching me with concern, holding my hand. Just his presence and his touch calms me. What the hell happened? Vague memories of being outside of the gym, those asswipes, Ricky and Tim, and snippets of doctors and nurses, being rolled down hallways, but nothing is forming one clear memory.
“What’s got your heart rate up, Nina?”
Nina? That’s right. He called me Nina then too. He hadn’t called me Nina in at least a year.
“Trying to remember what happened.”
“You fell outside of Miguel’s and hit your head pretty bad.”
This sounds all familiar, like I’ve been told before.
“Were Ricky and Tim there?” They are like shadows but I could swear they were there.
“They are sitting in jail and you never have to worry about them again.”
“What did they do?” I’m almost afraid of the answer, even if I can’t recall everything, I just have a sick feeling in my gut.
“They were trying to carry you off when Virgil and Barry stopped them.”
“And I hit my head.” It’s familiar, but it’s not.
The memories are still foggy, and I could swear at one moment Tex was there. He whispered that he loved me. That can’t be possible and maybe it’s something I dreamed because it’s something I want. I sure as hell am not going to mention it to him.
“What time is it?”
“Going on four.”
An entire day is gone? “Have you been here all day?”
“I’m not leaving your side, Nina. You’re stuck with me.”
“What about the gym? Who is there?”
“Joel and Ian rearranged their schedule. Our shifts are covered until we can get you out of here.”
That’s a relief. It may be Miguel’s gym, but he’s like 75 and can’t handle the place all by himself. Of course, there are other part-time workers, but nobody else knows the place like me, Tex, Joel and Ian. The others come in, do their job and leave. We learned all parts of the gym.
“You don’t have to stay with me.”
He just gives me that big Texas grin. “I’m not going anywhere, Nina. I’m not leaving you alone.”
Tears mist my eyes and I turn away from him. Why the hell am I all weepy?
Because he cares and he’s not leaving me alone. Tex could take off and go back to the gym and leave me here, but he’s not.
Why?
The nurse comes back, carrying a tray. “Do you think you are up to eating anything?”
My stomach grumbles.
“It’s not much, but we’ve got broth, applesauce, and Jell-O. You need to have a very mild diet for a day or two.”
“Thanks.”
The nurse leaves and Tex takes the lids off my food. “Need me to feed you?”
“That’s okay, I got it.”
Before Nina is halfway through her meal she starts to fade. Pain clouds her eyes and she finally puts a straw in the broth and sucks it down.
“Is there anything I can get you?”
Her smile is weak. “Drugs?” She pushes the tray away. “There have been days that I’ve hurt after a rugby game, but never like this.”
I lift her hand. “I’m really sorry this happened to you, Nina.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I knew something was really off with those two. I just didn’t know how badly.”
“How could anybody know?”
“At least they will be sitting in jail.”
“For how long?” Her eyes cloud with worry. Is she afraid they’ll come back after her?
“Virgil and Barry gave very detailed st
atements. They are going to be charged with assault, attempted kidnapping and attempted rape.”
Her eyes widen. “But they didn’t…”
I put my hand over hers. “No. They didn’t, but it was their intention.”
She swallows and pulls the covers up to her chin.
Can’t say I blame her. Those two were intent on hurting her in ways that nobody should be hurt. “Do you remember anything?”
“Just snippets of stuff.”
Since she was out cold when I told her that I loved her, I’m certain she won’t remember that, thankfully. I’m not sure what she’d do with that information.
“I don’t like having holes. Missing time.”
I guess nobody would. “Hey, do you want me to call anyone?” I just don’t want to say his name.
“Who would you call? It’s not like I have family or anything. My boss knows where I’m at and I think this qualifies as calling in sick.”
“I thought maybe, Malik.” I hold my breath and wait for her answer.
“Why?”
“Barrett seems to think you two might be dating.”
Nina rolls her eyes. “If he’s not with Monique anymore then he’s headed in Dee Dee’s direction.”
“So, the talk in the diner?” It wasn’t what Barrett thought.
“Getting girl advice.”
“Good!” Crap, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.
Nina eyes me with suspicion. “Why?”
My face starts to heat, which really irritates me because I don’t blush, but this is damned embarrassing. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but I like you Nina.” Part of me relaxes, relieved that I got that out and another part of me tenses further, waiting for rejection or laughter. I also sound like a thirteen-year-old kid with his first crush. Maybe I should truly humiliate myself and ask if she wants to go steady.
Pushing my fingers through my hair, I take a deep breath and decide to just put it out there.
“I don’t know when it happened, but it was in the last few months. I woke up one day and I’d fallen for you.” I finally look up and meet her eyes.
She’s just staring at me, her mouth is kind of open as if she’s shocked, which I suppose she is.
“Like I said, I wasn’t going to say anything, then Barrett thinks you’re dating Malik, so I figured I lost any chance. Plus I figured Miguel would kill me if he had any idea, but then this morning, when I saw you unconscious, I realized how bad I had it. I was afraid of losing you.”
She no longer looks shocked and the right side of her mouth tips up. I hope to hell she’s not laughing at me. It’s bad enough that I’ll have to work with her after this, but we live together too. Talk about fucking awkward living conditions.
“And, I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I couldn’t help myself. You can forget it.” That’s it. “Let’s just forget I said anything.”
“Why?” she asks quietly.
“Well, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable being around me when I’m sure this comes as a shock.”
“Yeah, it does.”
Shit!
“But, I’m really glad that what I’ve been feeling isn’t one-sided.”
Did I hear her right? “You mean you’ve been thinking about me too?”
“I kept pushing it away because I figured I was just another little sister to you.”
I can feel the grin widening on my face. “I can assure you, Horns, the last thing I’m feeling about you is brotherly.”
Her smile widens and then she winces.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. The day may have started off pretty shitty, but I can’t complain about how it’s turning out.”
The only thing that could make this better is if I could kiss her, but I won’t. When I finally kiss Nina for the first time, it’s not going to be while she’s in a hospital bed.
13
“Oh my God.” I grab the sink to steady myself. This dizziness sucks. I’m so glad Tex called a cab to take me home once they released me from the hospital. Riding a subway train would have been hell.
My short term memory and anything that happened since I woke up yesterday morning still sucks and I can’t stand it. So much is foggy from yesterday. I remember some of the hospital, but not what I ate, if I ate. I think there were x-rays or was I put in a tube?
Tex was there, by my bed. It was nice that he was there, but I don’t know if our conversation was in my head or if it really happened? When I woke this morning, I wasn’t sure if it was all a dream. Was he there the whole time? He’s the one constant--memories of him by my bed each time I woke up. Or, maybe it was just a few times because I’m sure he left to come back and sleep. They wouldn’t have let him stay, would they?
Did he tell me that he was falling for me or did I imagine the whole conversation? Did my bruised brain make that up because I wanted it to be so?
He hasn’t treated me any differently today than he did before I hit my head and I sure as hell can’t ask. If it was a dream, I’ll only embarrass myself.
Did he pack the bag he brought to the hospital or did Miguel? I’m not sure how I feel about Tex going through my bras and panties.
When I come out of the bathroom, he’s sitting on my bed, suitcase open. “Don’t you think it’s time you unpacked?”
I have been here a week, but I’m so used to living out of a suitcase that I was afraid to unpack and jinx my good luck.
“I’ve lived like this for twelve years.”
“Out of a suitcase?” he asks in disbelief. “Didn’t the Grafts even have a dresser drawer for you?
“That’s not it. When you’re in the system, you can be moved on a second’s notice without warning. If all of your things aren’t together, something might get left behind.”
Tex reaches out and takes my hand. “Miguel isn’t going to ask you to leave and you aren’t going to be moving until you want to.”
My head accepts what he is saying, but my gut hasn’t settled in there yet.
“What about dirty clothes, if you kept packed all the time?” He’s frowning.
I guess it does sound disgusting. “I just kept everything separated, and put the dirty in to a garbage bag, and when I was down to one clean set of clothes, I took my suitcase and did them all at once.”
“Whew. For a minute I was afraid I might have brought you dirty clothes.”
I laugh. “You didn’t, but now I want to change into a pair of pajama pants and t-shirt, since I’m going to be laying around all day.”
“Ah, so you are going to listen to the doctor.”
I sink down on the bed beside him because I’m dizzy again. It keeps happening when I’m up too much. “Yep.”
“You okay?” He turns to me and there is such concern in his green eyes.
“Yeah. Just what the doctor warned me of.”
“Dizzy?”
“Yep.”
“Then get your ass in bed.”
“Pajamas first.”
He leans in and there is a twinkle in his green eyes. “Need my help?”
Maybe it wasn’t a dream. Oh, I wish I could remember. “I think that would only make me dizzier.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He grins.
He should. Just being this near to Tex sets me off balance and it has nothing to do with the head injury.
Slowly he brings his hand up to cradle the side of my face.
Is he going to kiss me? What all did we talk about, since I’m beginning to think we did confess some feelings.
He leans in and I can feel his breath against my lips.
The front door bangs open. “Tex! Nina!” Miguel calls and Tex jumps off the bed as if a firecracker has been lit under his ass and moves to the door.
“In here.”
I haven’t even seen Miguel since yesterday. At least, I don’t think so. Have I even seen him since the accident? All I know is that Tex sent him a text when he got me back here.
Miguel st
ops at the door. “Oh, Nina.” His dark eyes fill with sadness.
“I’m fine,” I quickly assure him.
“What can I get for you? What do you need? Name it.”
The man is riddled with guilt and none of this is his fault. “I just want my pajamas for now.” With that I get off the bed and reach into my suitcase. The room tilts and I put my hand out to try and steady myself. Tex is there in an instant, his arm around my waist.
“What’s wrong?” Miguel barks. “Do you need to go back to the hospital?”
“Just dizzy for a second.” The room rights itself again.
“The doc said she could have dizzy spells and not to move too quickly or do too much for a couple of days,” Tex explains.
Miguel trains boxers and I know they’ve had concussions. Surely he knows the symptoms better than me, doesn’t he?
“I don’t want her moving at all,” Miguel orders.
“That’s kind of hard to do,” I remind him.
“Tex, you stay up here. Watch her.”
“I have a shift this afternoon.”
“Until I’m sure Nina will be okay by herself, you have no shifts to cover.”
“Really, Miguel,” I start to argue.
“You will listen to me, young lady. And, you will listen to Tex.” He turns to Tex. “And you will listen to me.”
His eyes are stern and I know better than to argue with Miguel. I do want to rest, but I don’t need a babysitter.
“Make sure she eats and rests,” Miguel orders before he leaves.
Nina grabs her pajamas and heads into the bathroom for a shower. I don’t want to be too far away in case she needs me. I made her promise not to lock the door, and I promised not to go in and check on her. If she needs help, she’ll call out.
But, what if she gets so dizzy that she slips in the shower and hurts herself more?
That’s what worries me most. I’m also afraid she won’t call out because it would mean me seeing her naked. Not that I’d mind. Not a bit. I’ve often thought about what Nina would look like without her clothes, but this is different. Until she’s well again, I won’t push this new relationship. Hell, I’m even afraid to kiss her. Not that I was afraid a half hour ago because all I could think about was kissing her then. But her head hurts and it isn’t right of me to take advantage and maybe cause her pain.