My Name Is
Page 3
Lincoln Fields. In the back you will find a concrete block with a long rope attached. Carry this block to the front. Swing the block so that it breaks the window.” I paused to catch my breath. “Then you will all fly to Bayshore Shopping Center. Wait on the roof until an armoured car shows up at the front door. When the guards come out towing a case you approach them.” I pause again with a couple of deep calming breaths. “Swarm down with this rope (showing them a long rope) and overtake the guards. Don’t hurt them, and take the case with the rope. Bring the case to me. Be ready in ten minutes.”
I waited the requisite ten minutes. I give my waiting team their final commanding caws, thinking with excitement, “okay start on your way now.” The crows all headed in the direction of Lincoln Fields with the length of rope. All I had left to do now was wait.
I nervously paced back and forth, trying to stay confident, yet thinking that this may be the stupidest thing that I have ever done. Finally in just over one hour my winged army returned. They dropped the beautiful black case right in front of me. I was ecstatic. I gave one more, “caw caw caw!” Thinking simply, “thank you so much friends. Take care.”
I hurried home and was soon in my room alone with my fantasy case opened. I excitedly counted the contents of $2,632,485.00. It had all worked to perfection!
I am now writing this unbelievable story in a small rented condo in Whistler, British Columbia. I intend to now live quietly as a ski bum, and thoroughly enjoy the rest of my life. I have already sent a very large anonymous donation to the World Wild Life Fund as a tribute to the crows. I am going leave this written story in a safe deposit box in Vancouver, along with newspaper clippings from thirteen different newspapers from all over North America that had covered my extraordinary armoured car crow heist. A law firm will open the safe deposit box upon my death. I am never uttering a caw again.