Roxie

by Kimberly Dean

  “Seeing myself? Weird.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  Roxie pressed her chin into her blanket. He meant having family. Blood relation. “Weird,” she repeated.

  “Do you feel different?”

  “In some ways.” She felt more grounded than she had in a long time, but if she were to admit the truth, she wasn’t content. She wouldn’t feel whole until she found out why they had been given up.

  And why she’d been dumped aside like garbage.

  “Do you like them?” he asked.

  “I love them.”

  “Are they like you?”

  “Not really.”

  “Good—because that would have been too much to believe.”

  He grinned, and she had to smile. It wasn’t a dig. Neither of them was in a mood to fight. It was just such a strange, sensual bubble they were in here atop the building, with a blue tint and quiet all around.

  Her gaze ate him up.

  He was older now. They’d been teenagers when they’d found one another. He’d been sexy to her then, but he was a man now. He’d filled out enough that he matched his height, and the gangliness was gone. His knuckles were scarred, and his green eyes had seen too much.

  But that face.

  She wove her fingers together to stop the ache she felt to touch him again.

  “How are you, Billy?”

  “I’m good.”

  Somehow the words fell a bit flat, but she understood. The world had been turning her way recently, but she just felt good, too. She might be on top of the building, but she wasn’t on top of the world.

  “I hear you have a big-time job now,” she ventured.

  “Have you been asking questions about me?”

  She shrugged. “Charlie and Skeeter talk.”

  And she listened—especially when she heard his name. She’d been happy when she’d heard he was working on the NASCAR circuit.

  He looked out over the water, and the chilly breeze ruffled his hair. He looked pensive. “I’m on Justin Corelli’s crew now. He’s been moving up in the standings.”

  “Charlie’s proud of you.”

  “Yeah? Well, it’s a long ways from Ruckus dishwasher.”

  “We’ve both come a long ways from where we started,” she agreed.

  They looked at each other then and, in the moonlight, his green eyes looked black. So deep, dark, and unending. The air began that pulsing thing it liked to do whenever they got near. It was thrumming inside her.

  Goading her and tempting her.

  Her toes curled inside her boots.

  She should have taken them off hours ago, but the pain in the arches of her feet reminded her that things between them didn’t always end well.

  Even if they felt oh-so-good in the midst of the storm.

  And she could feel the electricity of one brewing…

  Sitting up, she swung her legs over the side of her chair. That insidious breeze slipped inside her blanket, and she shivered. Okay, that wasn’t just nippy, it was raw. “It’s late. We both need to sleep it off.”

  When she pushed herself to her feet, he was suddenly there to help her. His hand cupped her elbow, and his big body blocked most of the wind. Even in her four-inch heels, he ranged over her.

  Damn, but she wanted to huddle into him. She craved the feel of him wrapping that leather jacket around her, protecting her from the world.

  Instead, he brushed his thumb along her jaw line. “Have you been coming up here much?”

  Too much to admit.

  “I need to start bringing a hot water bottle up here with me,” she teased.

  He let go of her chin, but his fingers trailed through her hair. “I can think of other ways to warm you up.”

  On a chilly autumn night…

  She fought back a moan. Had she wished him here?

  She pulled back and made a show of wrapping the blanket around herself. “I’m glad you came tonight, Billy. For Charlie.”

  His jaw worked for a second. “Yeah, Charlie deserves some happiness.”

  The comment stung, but she reminded herself he hadn’t come for her.

  Moving ahead of her, he opened the door to the stairs. Light from the staircase shone out, almost glaring after sitting under the stars for so long.

  Roxie squinted and hurried forward. The coziness had disappeared, and tendrils of cold were snaking down her spine. All that talk of warmth hadn’t helped. She moved past Billy as he held the door open for her and navigated the narrow steps that led down to the top floor. Her floor.

  The whoosh that came down the flight of stairs when the outside door closed was startling, especially when the building was so quiet in comparison. Silence versus silence. Outdoors to inside, they were different.

  With the walls pressing in and everyone bedded down to sleep, she was more aware of her former lover than ever.

  She was pulling out her keys when she remembered he wasn’t exactly sober. Turning, she found him right behind her. Her shoulder brushed against his chest and her hip bumped against his leg.

  He was warm, deliciously so after being out in the cold for so long.

  Pulling back, she leaned against the door to her apartment. “Do you need me to call you a cab?”

  His expression turned ironic. “Well, that’s blunt.”

  She had to be. She wasn’t going to invite him to stay at her place. Absolutely was not going to…

  He held up a key. “Charlie’s letting me stay downstairs. He said he’s got an apartment open until the first of the month.”

  “Oh, right.” Yay, she thought sardonically. So she wouldn’t invite him inside, but he was going to be staying one floor down, in a bed not so far away. “The furnished one.”

  “Is that a problem?”

  She shook her head, and the blanket fell off her shoulder. “You don’t want to sleep on my hideaway, trust me.”

  His expression was still fierce, but his touch was gentle as he wound one of her curls around his finger. “No, I don’t.”

  Her knees wobbled. She needed to get inside and catch some sleep. The innuendo was getting to be too much.

  She opened the door to her apartment. Stepping inside, she tossed the blanket and her pepper spray onto the sofa. “Good night, Billy. It was really good to see—”

  She stopped short. Wing nuts and coattails, she sounded like frickin’ Miss Manners.

  “Oh, to hell with it.”

  Pushing away all her good intentions, she grabbed his jacket and yanked him to her. He was already moving her way, and he kicked the apartment door shut behind him. His mouth was hot and hungry when it came down on hers.

  Roxie groaned at the contact. Oh, God. Sitting up there under the moonlight, talking with him like a rational adult had nearly driven her crazy. There was nothing rational about the way she felt for him. Nothing calm and composed.

  But it was definitely adult.

  “I’m staying until morning,” he said fiercely.

  She nodded as he kissed fire down her throat. It was only a few hours. She could give him that long.

  His jacket was warm, the leather worn and soft, but she pushed it off his shoulders. It fell heavily to the floor. She nearly tripped as he backed her over the end of the blanket that hadn’t made it to the couch.

  Picking her up off her feet, he lifted her over the tangle of material and headed towards her bedroom.

  His kiss was voracious, and she gave in to the need to run her fingers though his hair. It was as soft and thick as it had always been, and she loved the shagginess. She didn’t like guys who primped more than she did. She liked them rough and tumble. Sexy and unpretentious.

  She liked ’em like this one.

  This one, in particular.

  “Billy,” she whispered in need as she pulled up his T-shirt. His chest and belly were rippled with lean muscles, and she raked her nails over them.

  He put her on her feet and got rid of the T-shirt fast. The bed bumped against the
back of her legs, but then he caught her to him. His hand spread wide across her bare back and he pressed his hot mouth to her shoulder.

  Roxie arched in surprised delight. “Ah!” she cried as she cupped the back of his head. She hadn’t realized she was sensitive there.

  His lips ran sexily along her collar bone as he fought with the belt she’d looped around her waist.

  “A little help?” he growled close to her ear.

  She got it loose, and he flung it across the room. It lashed around the lamp on the table, wrapping it up mummy-style.

  Meanwhile, her clothes were peeling off.

  He pulled her top over her head and her hair tumbled into her face.

  His hands were already sweeping up her middle. Her stomach trembled when he cupped her ribcage. His devilish thumbs traced the bottom of her bra. It was black and strapless, plumping her curves high above the demi cups.

  With as hard as she was breathing, the coverage was precarious.

  “Nice,” he murmured.

  He popped the clasp at the middle of her back and the sexy piece of support fell to the floor.

  Cupping her breasts, he lifted them in his palms. “Nicer.”

  When his thumbs swept over her nipples, the zing went all the way to her core. Going up on her tiptoes, Roxie gave him a hot kiss as her hands went desperately to his zipper.

  It was his turn to rock back on his heels when she slid her hand inside his jeans.

  She nipped at his lower lip as she cradled his erection in her palm. He was already harder than one of those drive shafts he liked to tinker with. “Nicest of all,” she whispered saucily.

  “Vixen,” he growled.

  Catching her by the waist, he lifted her and dumped her back on the bed. She let out a squeal, but then he was tugging off her boots and fighting with her leggings.

  “Damn bondage material,” he snarled as the material stretched and clung.

  The moonlight was coming through the windows, highlighting the muscles of his chest, the tattoo on his left bicep, and the bulge spilling out of his unzipped jeans.

  “Like this,” Roxie gasped. Rolling suggestively, she peeled the leggings over her hips down to her thighs.

  His hands weren’t idle. He petted her as he watched, stroking her belly and fondling her breasts. There was something so sexy about his big masculine hands on her, especially the leather cuff on his wrist. As soon as he saw her black thong, his touch swept downward. Hooking his fingers around the skimpy piece of material, he peeled it off with the rest of her clothes, stripping her bare.

  Roxie lay on her back, breathing hard as he looked down at her.

  She arched when he slid his hand between her parted legs, cupping her. The sensation was so intimate, so hot and demanding.

  Nothing stood between them. Nothing.

  “Brazilian wax?” he asked, his voice like gravel.

  Her hips lifted as he slid a finger between her naked lips.

  “Of course,” she panted.

  “That’s new,” he growled. Bending over her, he gave her a hard kiss. “I like it.”

  Oh, God. So did she.

  Too much.

  She wrapped her arms like vines around him as he stroked his fingers deep inside her. She was wet. She’d been wet when he’d found her up on the rooftop, but this? This was pushing her too fast towards an orgasm. When he swirled his thumb over her swollen clit, she felt her stomach begin to flutter.

  She let out a yelp when he swept his hands under her hips and lifted her. “Condom,” she gasped.

  She lurched towards the bedside table. It didn’t take her two seconds to pull one out of the drawer, but he already had one out of his jeans pocket. Ripping the packet open with his teeth, he got what they needed and swiftly put it on.

  He was ready before she’d settled back into position, and she twisted as he thrust into her, deep and true.

  “Ooooh,” she cried in pleasure.

  “Hell and damnation,” he groaned, his head falling back.

  They stayed that way for a long moment, connected deeply, their bodies arching in gratification too long denied. But then the need to move hit them both. Standing tall beside the bed, Billy held her hips high as he thrust in and out of her. Roxie rocked in rhythm, wrapping her legs around his waist.

  The sensations were devastating. The way he moved… the way he touched her…

  He was pumping hard, driving her fast. She spread her arms wide on the mattress, raking her fingers over the wrinkled sheets. “Oh, God.”

  She loved the way he felt inside her, but she wanted him closer. She wanted to be around all of him. She reached for him. “Come here!”

  Sweat beaded on his forehead as he reined himself in. Not breaking their connection, he climbed onto the bed with her. She’d landed crossways on the mattress and, in order to fit, he hitched her further up. Her head dropped back off the bed, but the feel of his heavy body covering her was what she needed.

  Locking an ankle around his waist, she trailed the toes of her other foot down his long leg.

  He grunted in reaction.

  “Mmm.”

  He settled more heavily atop her and his mouth was hot against her arched neck. “Hold on,” he whispered.

  She was already holding on for dear life.

  He started a heavy rhythm, his thrusts short and deep. His mouth settled onto her breast and he began sucking her nipple hard. The tugs generated dueling sensations of pleasure and all her erogenous zones lit up. Gasping for air, Roxie clung to him. She threaded her fingers through his hair while her other hand dug into the small of his back.

  Reunion sex between them was always great.

  But this time it had an edge, a desperation.

  She didn’t want it to end, but the blood was rushing to her head. Her core felt like a thousand degrees, and tension was whipping through her. He caught her nipple in his teeth, and the jolt pushed her that additional inch she craved.

  Already over the edge of the bed, she flew over the brink into an obliterating orgasm.

  He was right there with her. When she tightened around him, his body jerked. But then he was pounding into her hard and coming. His breaths were hot against her neck, and his muscles clenched everywhere she touched.

  Then it all drained out of them. The vigor, the unrelenting need, the driving compulsion…

  Roxie sagged against the bed and felt Billy’s weight press her into the mattress. For once, her mind was still. Satiation filled her body, and she was at ease.

  For longer than she usually let herself feel it.

  Together, they just breathed. And were.

  “There are stars on the ceiling,” she murmured in wonder.

  Billy snorted softly. “Those aren’t real.”

  His movements were lethargic, but he shifted them until they were both fully on the bed, although lying cockeyed across it. “Too little blood to your head.”

  And too much somewhere else.

  The heat where they were connected was overwhelming, and it finally got through Roxie’s hazy brain. She began to wiggle.

  He sighed heavily in her ear. “Yeah, yeah.”

  Catching her squirming hips, he held her still as he pulled out of her. Slowly, deliberately, he made her feel every inch.

  The bastard.

  Her hands came up to his shoulders as he took care of things, but his weight came right back down atop of her afterwards. “I told you,” he said grumpily. “I’m staying.”

  She wasn’t fighting him on that. Stroking her finger down his spine, she whispered in his ear. “Then let me be on top. You’re heavy.”

  He grumbled, but rolled them over and somehow managed to free the covers. He pulled the comforter over them, and Roxie settled against his chest. She could hear his heart beating beneath her ear. He generated heat like a furnace, and her cold toes curled in delight.

  She’d broken all her promises to herself. Again.

  Just like she’d known she would.

&n
bsp; She had principles and she knew what decisions she should make, but life had also taught her to grab the good things when she could. She stretched out atop Billy’s muscled body. He had a lot of good things to grab.

  She knew she was playing with fire, but being with him had been the first time tonight that it had actually felt like a celebration. They’d both officially “made it.”

  Although once long ago she’d thought they’d make it together, and he wouldn’t be living all the way over in North Carolina.

  Thinking about the distance between them hurt.

  The physical distance, as well as the emotional.

  She stroked her fingers slowly over his chest. She’d thought he might really be gone this time. It had been over two years since he’d walked out The Ruckus’s doors. Two years since they’d talked… and touched… Splayed atop him, she could feel his softened erection against her inner thigh. The lighting inside her bedroom was the same as it had been outside, moonlit and secretive.

  The silence here was more palpable. Without the soft breeze and the rustle of leaves, all she heard was the sound of their breaths and the hum of the refrigerator out in the kitchen. For all their physical gymnastics moments earlier, the silence had returned.

  Along with the fear of consequences.

  And regret that he’d be gone again come sunlight.

  Sleep had been sneaking up on her, but the thought made her eyes pop open. She’d given him until morning. There was no reason why she couldn’t indulge herself just a while longer.

  Spreading her hand wide on his ribcage, she toyed with his masculine nipple. His breath hitched for a second, but he remained relaxed against the pillow. Her brow furrowed. Okay…

  Turning her head, she gave his other nipple a slow, wet lick.

  That made his head pop off the pillow.

  He let out a hiss when she began to kiss her way down his breastbone. The muscles of his abdomen were particularly intriguing. His fingers tangled in her hair when she dipped her tongue into his belly button.

  Curious, she slid her hand down further. He wasn’t so soft down there anymore.

  His erection was stirring. She helped him along, pumping him up and down, but taking time to swirl her thumb over his sensitive head. When his hips lifted from the bed, nearly dislodging her, she knew he was ready.

  Hooking his hands under her armpits, he tried to tug her upwards.