Monster Blood is Back

by R. L. Stine

  Hess’s grin grew wider. “I like your confidence, Nathan!” he exclaimed.

  Jackson and Sunday went next. They were from a private school across town from ours. Sunday waved a spatula in the air and said, “We want to turn this into silver!”

  Hess replied, “I like that. The battle has begun, everyone!”

  One of the cameras moved toward Nicole and me. “I’m Sascha and she’s Nicole,” I announced. “We don’t have anything clever to say. That’s because we came to cook, not talk!”

  Hess nodded and smiled. He seemed to like that.

  My heart was fluttering, and my hands were cold and wet. Nicole must have seen how nervous I was. She put a hand on mine and said, “Sascha, you’ll feel better as soon as we start cooking.”

  “Here are our kitchen battle rules,” Hess said. He was reading off a teleprompter. “Each team must cook three dishes—lunch, dinner, and dessert. Three rounds. The winning team in each round is awarded ten points—plus an extra ten for dessert! Highest number of points wins the contest!”

  Courtney, the other assistant, brought a box to each table.

  “Okay, teams, open your ingredients boxes for lunch—and let the kitchen war begin!”

  Nicole and I opened the lid together and peered in at the ingredients. Macaroni noodles, cheese, tomatoes, green peppers, and ground beef.

  I drummed my fingers on the countertop. “What do you think, Nicole? It has to be a lunch dish.”

  We studied the ingredients a while longer.

  “How about a pasta casserole?” I said.

  “Yes. A baked casserole. Maybe put the ground beef on the bottom?”

  “Excellent,” I said, starting to feel better. “We can do this.”

  The video cameras were moving in and out, sliding from one team to another. I reached into the box to start removing the ingredients—but Nathan leaned over our counter.

  “Try not to choke the judges this time,” he said. Then he tossed his hands up and went, “WHOOOPS!”

  He pretended to fall—and knocked our ingredients box to the floor.

  “Hey, you jerk—!” I shouted.

  The cameras swung around to capture the fuss.

  I motioned to Hess. I thought he might stop everything. Instead, the big grin returned to his face. “The battle has begun!” he exclaimed into the cameras. “As Shakespeare once said, ‘All’s fair in love and cooking!’ ”

  That didn’t make any sense to me, but I didn’t have time to think about it. Nicole and I scrambled to pick up the ingredients and line them up on our counter.

  “Did Hess see what Nathan did?” Nicole asked.

  “Hess doesn’t care,” I told her. “He likes it when things get crazy.” I brought my face close to hers and whispered, “Just be cool. Nathan’s time will come. I promise.”

  I turned the oven on to BAKE at 350 degrees. Then we set to work, preparing the ingredients for our casserole dish. We worked well together. It didn’t take long to get everything sliced and diced and spooned into the casserole dish. I put the lid on and slid it into the oven.

  “Ten minutes left, chefs!” Hess announced. “Ten minutes, everyone!”

  I turned to Nicole. “Our dish should be cooked by then,” I said. “We lost some time because Nathan knocked our stuff to the floor.”

  “Ten minutes should be perfect,” she answered.

  I gazed about the room. Sunday and Jackson were stirring a big pot on their stove with wooden spoons. On our other side, Ashli and Nathan were having an argument.

  I couldn’t catch the words. Their backs were turned. But Ashli was angrily waving a metal whisk at Nathan. He backed up to the counter with both hands in the air.

  The cameras moved around, recording the last-minute activity. Hess stood in a corner of the studio, talking with Courtney and Morgan. He had his eyes on the big round clock on the wall.

  “OKAY! TIME IS UP!” he shouted. “All teams, stop work. The judges are ready. Prepare to present your dishes.”

  I could feel my heart start to beat faster. I took a deep breath, fighting back my nervousness.

  I pulled on oven gloves and lifted the casserole dish from the oven. I carried it to the counter.

  I turned to Nicole. She had her fingers crossed on both hands. “Here goes,” I said. “Hope we do better than last time.”

  I watched the three judges—Larry, Mary, and Jake—pull their chairs closer to their table. They smoothed down their hair, and adjusted their outfits, and cleared their throats. Getting ready to go on camera.

  I told myself not to get nervous. Our casserole dish was solid and simple. But did you ever tell yourself not to get nervous? Then you know it doesn’t work at all. In fact, it makes you even more stressed out!

  Hess announced that Sunday and Jackson were to be judged first. Morgan took the tall metal pot off their counter and carried it to the judges’ table.

  Courtney set down spoons and soup bowls. Then she ladled the steaming liquid from the pot into the three bowls.

  “Sunday and Jackson, please tell the judges what you have made,” Hess said.

  They gazed at each other. They couldn’t decide which of them should talk. Then they both started to talk at once. That made them both laugh.

  “Sunday, why don’t you explain the dish?” Hess suggested.

  She swallowed. “Well, we made a soup. It’s a tomato pasta soup with meat.”

  “Kind of a chili,” Jackson added. “It’s chili and soup. We invented it.”

  That made Nathan laugh out loud. He’s so totally rude. “Did they invent chili or soup?” he whispered to Ashli. And she laughed, too.

  I realized I was gripping the counter edge tightly with both hands. I lowered my hands and backed away.

  The judges took their time tasting the chili-soup. Larry had a smile on his face as he tried three or four spoonfuls. Mary had her face scrunched up and seemed to be thinking hard. Jake tasted the dish, then poked his spoon around the food in the bowl, examining it.

  Hess stepped in front of a camera. “Okay, judges—what do you think?” he said. “Larry, let’s start with you.”

  Larry set down his spoon. “Well, I like the idea of the soup,” he said. “And I think it tastes pretty good. But to me, the tomato overwhelms everything else. I can’t taste the peppers or the cheese. I think you should call this tomato soup. You haven’t succeeded with your chili idea.”

  “I agree with Larry,” Mary said. “And I’m finding the soup rather thin. I think you need to spice it up. The green peppers aren’t enough to give it flavor.”

  “I loved it,” Jake chimed in. “Of course, I love tomato soup. It’s my favorite. And I think the beef and the pasta and peppers are just an added treat.”

  He turned to the other judges. “I would like it a little hotter,” he said. “I like a soup that burns your tongue—don’t you?”

  The other two judges shook their heads no.

  Hess stepped up again. “Thank you, judges. And thank you, Chef Sunday and Chef Jackson. Next up, let’s sample the dish by Ashli and Nathan. What dish have you prepared?”

  “It’s an eggless frittata,” Nathan said. “It’s an Italian dish, a little like an omelet.”

  “Only, an omelet is cooked fast,” Ashli added. “A frittata is cooked slower. And a frittata doesn’t have to be served right away. It can be saved for later.”

  “A frittata is different from a quiche,” Nathan added. “A quiche has a crust, while a frittata is crustless.”

  “Nathan and I have been working for a long time on an eggless frittata,” Ashli added. “And I think we’ve perfected it.”

  They both grinned, very pleased with their little lecture.

  “Well, I see you two have done your homework,” Hess said. “Now let’s see if your frittata is as good as your knowledge of Italian cooking.”

  Each judge placed a slice of the frittata on their plate and began to sample it. “Mmmmm,” Jake hummed, chewing a mouthful. He kept no
dding his head. I guessed he liked it.

  “Nice texture,” Mary muttered to the other two. They all chewed some more. Jake lowered his head and sniffed it for a while.

  “Well, judges?” Hess said. “What’s your verdict?”

  “Two thumbs up,” Larry said. “I can’t find anything to criticize. I would like this if it was served to me in a restaurant.”

  “Wow. That’s high praise,” Hess said.

  Nathan and Ashli slapped a high five.

  “I’m especially impressed with the texture,” Mary said. “It’s light and moist, and the taste of the ingredients seems in perfect balance. I don’t miss the eggs at all.”

  “I think it’s a little too crumbly,” Jake said, poking the frittata on his plate with his fork. “But you had so little time to bake it, I’m very impressed with it.” He also flashed two thumbs-ups.

  Nicole bumped my arm. “They’re going to win,” she whispered.

  “No way,” I whispered back. “I think we’ve got this one.”

  That was a lie. But I didn’t want Nicole to give up before we were even judged. Mainly because if Nicole gave up, I’d give up, too.

  I suddenly realized Hess had turned to us. “What have you made for us, Chefs Nicole and Sascha?” he asked.

  Nicole bumped me again. I guessed she wanted me to do the talking.

  “It’s a pasta casserole,” I said. “Very simple. I guess you’d call it comfort food. Perfect for a cold winter day.”

  “And it’s a meal in one,” Nicole added.

  The judges all dipped into the casserole dish and placed a portion onto their plates. Jake lowered his head and sniffed it. “Mmmmmmm. Interesting,” he said.

  I realized I was holding my breath. Every muscle in my body had tightened, and my teeth were clamped tightly together.

  Yeah, I guess you could say I was nervous.

  Beside me, Nicole gripped the counter and didn’t blink or move or say a word. We both watched the judges raise their forks to their mouths and start to sample the casserole.

  They’re going to love it, I told myself. They’re going to love it.

  Mary was the first to react. Her eyes went wide and she opened her mouth and uttered, “Oh. Ugggh.”

  Jake coughed and started to sputter.

  And Larry moved a big chunk in his mouth—and spit it out with a loud SPLAAAT onto the table.

  I gasped and grabbed Nicole’s hand. I could feel the blood come rushing up to my head. I thought I might faint.

  “It’s … cold!” Jake exclaimed.

  “Cold and hard,” Mary said, spitting a mouthful into her napkin.

  I forced myself to breathe. Beside me, Nicole had gone pale. Her chin was quivering, as if she was about to cry.

  Jake climbed to his feet, wiping his mouth with his napkin. He turned to us. “Sascha and Nicole, you forgot one little thing,” he said. “You forgot to cook it.”

  “But—but—” I sputtered.

  “Th-that’s impossible!” Nicole cried.

  I turned and darted to the oven. I opened the door and reached my hand inside.

  Cold.

  I gazed at the dials on the front of the stove. OFF. The oven was off, but we hadn’t turned it off.

  Whoa, wait. I remembered setting it to 350 degrees. That was the first thing I did before Nicole and I started to work with the ingredients.

  Hold on a sec. I had a sudden flash. Ashli and Nathan.

  I spun around. They both had their backs turned to Nicole and me.

  Why were they facing the wrong way? So we wouldn’t see their laughter?

  I turned back to Nicole. “It had to be our friends over there again,” I said, motioning to Ashli and Nathan. “When we were preparing the ingredients, one of them must have clicked off our oven.”

  “Grrrrr.” Nicole growled like an angry tiger. Her eyes lit up with anger. She started toward them. But I held her back.

  “Wait,” I said. “Just … wait.”

  I turned to Hess. “Are we going to do that round over again? I mean, since …”

  He shook his head. “No. No time. We’re going to start rolling again. I’m going to announce our first-round winners—Ashli and Nathan. Then we’re going to reset for the dinner round.”

  He must have seen how upset we were, because he walked over to our kitchen. “Don’t give up, girls,” he said softly. “You aren’t out of it. You still have two rounds to go.”

  Nicole pointed to Ashli and Nathan. “Listen, Hess. Those two—”

  He interrupted her. “Yes, they’re good chefs. But you can do better. Just keep telling yourselves that.” He walked away before Nicole could say anything more.

  Nicole let out another tiger growl.

  I turned to Ashli and Nathan. They still had their backs turned to us. I saw Nathan’s shoulders roll up and down. Yes. He was laughing.

  Nicole grabbed my arm. “Sascha—what are we going to do?”

  Everyone moved back into place and the cameras began to glide in and out again. “Second round!” Hess announced. “The dinner round.”

  Courtney delivered an ingredients box for each table. I gazed around the studio. Sunday and Jackson seemed really stoked. They had their hands on their ingredients box, and they were practically jumping up and down, eager to start.

  On our other side, Ashli and Nathan stood calmly, gazing out at the cameras. They definitely were avoiding Nicole and me. Nathan still had a sick smirk on his face. Ashli fussed with her hair.

  “Okay, chefs, open your ingredients box,” Hess said. “Let’s see what’s for dinner.”

  I opened the lid and Nicole and I peered into the box. I saw a whole fish, silvery and plump. One eye stared up at us. I pulled out a box of rice, a bunch of carrots, and a bag of baking potatoes.

  Nicole and I thought for a short while.

  “We can make a fish soup,” I said. “Soup with rice and carrots and potatoes.”

  Nicole frowned at the fish. “Think we can figure out how to fillet this thing? I’ve never deboned a fish.”

  “Neither have I,” I said. “But we’d better not serve the judges fish bone soup.”

  That made us both laugh. Our first laugh since we came into the studio.

  I lifted the fish carefully from the box and set it down on the counter. Nicole pulled out the rest of the ingredients.

  We found a big soup pot in the cabinet. I filled it two-thirds full of water and set it on the stove to get it boiling.

  Nicole found a knife in the counter drawer. We stood there for a moment, tapping the blade against the countertop, just studying the fish.

  I raised my eyes and saw that Ashli and Nathan were already deboning their fish. Ashli slid the knife easily down the fish’s side. Then she lifted the fish meat with one hand and simply tugged out the skeleton.

  “Are you copying us?” Ashli shouted.

  “If you don’t know how to fillet a fish, Ashli and I could give you lessons after we win the contest,” Nathan chimed in.

  Hess stepped in front of our kitchen. “I love it when the chefs really put their hearts into it!” he exclaimed. He grinned at Ashli and Nathan. “You two really know how to wage a kitchen war!”

  Nicole clenched her fists and did her angry tiger growl. She was breathing hard, her face twisted in anger.

  “Just ignore them,” I whispered to Nicole.

  “Ignore them? How can we just ignore them?” she cried. “They’re … they’re … HORRIBLE JERKS!”

  I pulled her to the counter. “Don’t worry about them,” I said softly. “It’s our turn to take a little action.”

  She squinted at me. “What do you mean, Sascha?”

  An evil smile crossed my face. “Let’s see how they enjoy cooking up a batch of Monster Blood,” I whispered.

  I glanced at the tote bag I had hidden under the counter. I could picture the green gunk bubbling and churning inside it.

  I had such an evil plan in mind. I almost burst out laughing. I lea
ned close and whispered it to Nicole.

  Then we got down to business making our soup.

  As I scraped the potatoes, I glanced over at Ashli and Nathan. They had a large casserole dish on their counter. Ashli had already peeled her potatoes. She was cutting them into thin slices. Nathan was shaking salt over the filleted fish.

  On our other side, Sunday and Jackson had their fish spread out on a platter. Sunday was shaking a red spice over it. Probably paprika. Jackson was stirring a pot on the stove. I could see that it held the rice and chopped-up carrots.

  The video cameras rolled in and out, recording us as we worked.

  “Only fifteen minutes, chefs!” Hess boomed. “Better get cooking!”

  Nicole poured the rice into the boiling water in our soup pot. “Now what?” she asked.

  I motioned to our fish. “We have to remove its head,” I said.

  “Ewwwww.” Nicole made a disgusted face and backed away. “Do you know how to do it?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure,” I said. “I think we have to cut it off. I don’t think we can just pull it off.”

  I looked over to Ashli and Nathan. Maybe I could see how they removed their fish head.

  But I was too late. Their fish head was already off. The fish had been cleaned beautifully, and the meat was sliced into neat sections.

  I pulled a large chef’s knife from the counter drawer. The biggest one I could find. “Let’s just chop it off,” I said.

  Nicole shut her eyes. “I can’t look.”

  I frowned at her. “Since when are you such a wimp?”

  “Since I never cut a fish’s head off!” she replied.

  I raised the knife blade high. Nicole shut her eyes and spun away.

  Slllaaaam.

  I swung it down as hard as I could. The head made a soft squisssh sound and came off the body easily.

  I let out a long sigh of relief. I wished the little round black eye would stop staring at me. “It’s okay to look,” I told Nicole.

  “Ten minutes!” Hess warned. “Chefs, your dish should be cooking by now.”

  Nicole and I finished chopping and slicing. We pulled the fish into small pieces. “Okay. We’re ready,” I said. “Everything into the soup pot.”