SHE: Coz we all love dreaming

by Prerna . K

  SHE:

  Coz we all love dreaming

  Prerna.k

  Copyright © 2020 Prerna Kandpal

  All rights reserved

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  ISBN-10: 1477123456

  Cover design by: Art Painter

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2018675309

  Printed in the United States of America

  See me at @prerna.k6 instagram

  Email: prernakandpal206@gmail.com

  TO THE FIRST LOVERS OF MY LIFE, MY BEST FRIEND (JASLEEN KAUR) AND ELDER SISTER (NEHA KANDPAL). THANKS FOR SHOWING ME THE TRUE FACE OF SELF LESS LOVE. I ALWAYS ADMIRE YOU BOTH

  "In this world of billions, let’s dare to LOVE the few we got around us."

  Author’s note

  To go into the essence of this book, the reader is requested to stay open hearted. Let the story word by word crawl in your mind, it shall capture your imagination.

  This book is treated more as an art, a creation than as a perfect piece of literature. Hope it settle deep down your hearts.

  Every expression on your face and grips in your heart will be writer’s joyous victory.

  ENJOY......

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Author’s note

  "The present"

  Phase 1

  Her dairy

  "Connection error"

  Around october

  He was not james

  From the sky

  The night you dazed me

  Isn't it awkward

  You too girl

  "Prince charming thing"

  "Are you sure??"

  In his arms

  All about james

  The Jatayu park

  In the train

  A new prince

  You can hug me

  Meet the local dogs

  "Is it a confession"

  "Lets rag that guy"

  Calvin, come back

  The red rose ceremony

  Will you be mine? calvin

  Under the ocean

  "I am your james"

  The story starts

  Her Dairy

  Back to "phase one"

  The last song

  Back to "the present"

  Epilogue

  Praise For Author

  "The present"

  “But I really like you.” He said.

  “But I don’t really “REALLY LIKE YOU.” I replied.

  Why? He asked.

  “My wish” I replied.

  “Still, there might be some reason.” He again asked.

  “What’s this new trend of asking for a reason, level of overconfidence, like how can a girl say me, ME no, like I m the king of hotness, I thought but I said, “because we have no connection.” Of course, we can’t even have a good conversation. I thought.

  “Come on! We should talk and conclude that later. At least we can be friends.” He said.

  Of course, you will be my friend first, then you will flirt and try to win my heart and by chance anything stuck with you as a signal you will be too sure of my feelings for you. You think I'm mad, or you are a unique smart.

  But I said in least words, “I know we don’t have, I just don’t like you. Stop it. And we can’t be friends.”

  “Why? What’s the problem?”

  You have romantic feelings for me, that’s the problem, I m damn sure you have already fucked me in your dreams. But I have to say something very short, so I said “I don’t want to befriend with you, simple. It’s my wish.” Perfect, I thought.

  “Ohk what can I say, but please tell me, are you single?”

  Someone kill me, why are they so annoying. Like man, what do they think, why will I tell them about my personal life. And why is this question, but I will lie, “Yeah, I’m.”

  “So do you like anybody else?”

  Fuck, enough say it straight, “Why should I tell you?”

  “Please I want to know the reason behind this disapproval?” He said.

  Wow pause for one second, let me clap for his efforts. Pause over,

  [“Because you are not James”] I wanted to say him but I just pissed him off. I told to my friend circle.

  “Oh dude! You used to like him.” Ash said.

  “Yeah bro but you know he isn’t James. I don’t want him.” I replied.

  “Hmm, I know.” Jas said, who has already seen so many like these case in my life.

  “What the fuck Ritz, are you planning to stay single all your damn life?” Tyagi added.

  “No, just until I find James.” I said foolishly.

  “He is not coming right now, so for meanwhile say yes to your crush who are already crushing on you.” Tyagi said.

  “And then leave him when James comes to your life.” Ash said.

  “Isn’t that perfect” Shubh said sarcastically who knew my reply to such things.

  “It is cool, but think about the guy, he will feel played, because I will play on him. He will be terribly pissed, something like devdass. (Devdass is a character of bollywood movie, who became a drunkard and terribly broken person because he couldnt live with his lover.)

  The only reason I never brought these blooming lovers in my life was because love is addictive, no matter from where it comes, it is always sweet and is best to feel.

  I dont want anybody to influence me with his love, romantically. I just can miss out dating, if my first time is not James.

  “So you are going to stay single.” Jas said.

  “Yeah, I guess. That’s the plan.” I said beating my head.

  “How long bro, it’s already been 18 years of your singlehood.” Ash said.

  “And it’s been more than 3years already, since you had started thinking about him.” Shubh said.

  “I know, I probably meet him this year.” I said.

  “Do one thing, have a friends with benefit kind of thing, it will be fun.” Tyagi said with her most most beautiful expressions, though notorious.

  “Just do something in your life,” Ash replied.

  "This is best, neither he will be romantic about you, nor you have to leave your James, at least you can have some fun." Tyagi said.

  "WOW, so great." I said laughingly.

  "Think about it, this is the best option, his feelings will also not get hurt, think, come on." Tyagi said, shaking me.

  "Di great idea, but James one is already taken under execution." I said, smilingly.

  “What more can I say to them, they have always supported my craziness.” I said to my sister, after I left them.

  “Hmm, they still believe in him. Don’t worry we are with you and James.”

  “No I’m not worrying about that, I still have faith in this mystery, but I am really missing him right now.”

  “Hmm you want to talk about him or should I leave you alone.”

  “Let’s talk dida” (nick name for my sister.)

  “I just can’t let him down, and why should I play with a guy, they will be too serious for me when I know I only be for James.”

  “It’s alright, at least this way you can focus on yourself, you have only you as your priority.” Neha said

  “Of course dida, I have to make a lot of progress to believe in myself, that I deserve such a guy.”

  “Yeah, James is better th
an all of them.”

  “But who is James, you haven’t told me about him yet.” Neel asked, when I went to meet him.

  “Ohk fine bro, come here, I will give you a brief of this person.” I said him.

  “Tell me the story.” He said sitting beside me.

  “Like all of we teen see sexual dreams, have characters in them, James is one of those character.”

  “What the fuck! You ass fucker are you serious.” He said with mad expressions, as expected.

  “Yeah very serious” I said to irritate him more.

  “You are such an asshole, for a dream fuck boy you are saying no to every dude you have crush on. Are you out of your mind?” God why such great vocabularies cross my way, and you guys, this is the only friendly style of speech he knows, so no judgments, we share a great bond. I love him.

  “Bro don’t say like that I’m fucking serious about him.”

  “He is a dream darling.” He said petting my head.

  “He is a kind of dream that I deserve to live,” I said laughingly knowing he is going to be mad.

  “Clap for yourself first, come out of your fucking world and see the reality.”

  “Wait a minute”, I said bringing my hand up, and clapped like a fool for myself. “I'm great bro, I know that.”

  “You are an ass.” “How will you find him?”

  “That’s the actual plan, I m working to make my life enough brilliant, to let this brilliant fantasy come in my life. Because I can’t give myself an alternative to James, so practically I have no choice, than finding him.” I said.

  “Are you mad, is there some shortage in your brain, or you don’t have one?”

  “Yeah there is a little shortage going on, I rented it to Mark Zuckerberg and now he is not returning it.” I smiled.

  “Leave that, think about it, how much effort I can put to find my love because most of me is desperate to do so many things the first time, you know. I m becoming ambitious with James” I said earnestly.

  “Fuckoff, you are going to die single.”

  “Nobody dies double, fool”

  “Fuck off.”

  “I love you, And take this dairy I have written a story kind of thing, read it if you have time. I will wait for your review.” I said standing up, giving him that dairy.

  “Oh, it will be about you and James right.”

  “Yeah, right”

  “You are such a Classic level of asshole.”

  Yep, I said smilingly.

  “Fuck off.”

  “Goodbye. See you soon.”

  Phase 1

  The stage was on fire, as soon as the beats of ONCE AGAIN started blowing out of the speakers. The whole crowd howled with beats as if they were waiting for this song the most. Before I could start singing, the crowd started shouting the lyrics, so loud, that the whole venue echoed. I could not hear my voice, even these microphones failed in front of this mass of millions. It was a fantastic moment to quietly watch them roaring so enthusiastically together. They were filled with unusual energy.

  "Lets repeat our story,

  go back to our first date,

  visit our kinship place,

  do those mad things all again, yeah

  lets do it once again."

  Finally, here it was the first concert of the album “SHE”, AFTER SO many EFFORTS FINALLY THERE WAS A WHOLE ALBUM DEDICATED TO HER. SHE DESERVED IT, NO MATTER WHERE SHE IS, she should know she owned all this love that I was receiving, and she is that love these fans were collecting through my songs.

  She should know finally I was able to touch other's hearts through my voice; I was finally able to understand the essence of being authentic, and captivating in my art. How my impossible big fantasy was MY until I could cherish the fun of keep dreaming. This was that moment, which I could replace with my dreams. Just like she knew she could replace me with her big dreams.

  “James finally your 4th album is out with an interesting character “she”. We all are too curious to know who is she, or to whom this title belong.” The reporter asked

  “Great curiosity indeed” I said in my mind, knowing their intention.

  “She is my love. She is my faith and the guidance to that faith. She is an example of a big dream. She is a dream herself. She is the love, the feeling the vulnerability, the aliveness of my songs. She is a kind of soul that spread love as if she had enough for herself. She is a tribute to all these beloveds who have always been a corner for all loners, from where this world looks fabulous and filled with love.” I said smiling a little at last, to make it look decent.

  “Ohk such a beautiful explanation, Is she your lover? We want to know more about her.”

  “My whole team has worked really hard in making these music and writing lyrics. We are pretty sure the whole album can explain you who she is, what she mean to me.” I said.

  “Interesting, was it planned to have this hidden message in the album?” when she said interesting, I thought she might be thinking he is good at making people mad.

  “Yeah it was. We wanted the whole album to revolve around “she”. So that the listeners develop a alive character in their minds.”

  “I was literally laughing during the whole interview. What the fuck you were saying,” Maira said, when we were in the car going back to the hotel.

  I chuckled, “I was also laughing madly in my head, sad for them.”

  “Yeah, they would be fucking confused now. Good job dude.” She said petting my shoulder.

  “I’m a clever ass, not that easily I will tell them who is she.”

  “I guess they might be thinking he had attended some philosphical session on love or life.”

  “Being with her was like living in a house of philosphical sessions” I said smilingly.

  “But she was cool. More than you are.”

  “Yeah I know and hot too.” Laughs

  “So now where pop star?”

  “On world tour bro, straight two months. It is going to be fun..”

  “And exhausting” She completed.

  “Yeah, umh any news about her” I asked hesitatingly.

  “Nope, maybe you catch up in one of your concerts.” She said empathetically.

  “Hopefully” I said breathing out.

  “Or might be,” she said looking towards me,

  “We won’t.” I completed, looking at her.

  “That hurts” she said.

  “Yeah a little, but we have to die single at last,” I said turning my eyes away.

  “Don’t try, I know you miss her.” She said empathetically, still looking at me.

  “I do, and yeah it hurts too, but this is life, and every living one is going to be a memory at last. She is a lovely memory. I love her.” I said.

  “You sound like her.” She said turning her eyes away.

  “Yeah dude I know” I said.

  “Fuck off, you are damn confusing.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know, either you talk like you are fucking broken or like you are mad ass happy.” She said.

  “In that case I have got an equation to explain myself, I’m, a broken kind of mad ass happy,” I said with a tilted smile.

  “Shut up don’t eat my brain.”

  “Alright” I said with a smile, I'm too used to her vocabulary.

  For the second concert of the album, “SHE” we needed to head to LA. We all were very tired; we had a flight way too early in the morning, so we were trying to pack up fast. Here concert, interviews, photoshoot, public meet, everything was done, just as planned. My whole team was together, not just my main musicians and dancers, but also my old friends. The one who know her since the day we met, and everything.

  Every song, every person, every memorable place, were in their right places, only she was missing. This concert was very important for me, the one in LA, because here we both started our life as a living relationship some, three years ago.

  My first concert with her also happened in this city. Though it
was very small but it was awesome, we both were on the stage; it’s hard to forget her little sparkling eyes, with that big smile exploring all her face that night.

  For her “my expectations were the proof that I have to not stop, my perfect dream was still away whereas the noises, hooting of the crowd was the proof that it was closer than ever.” it was unbelievable to see someone so overwhelmed with that little crowd, I remember she whispered this, “it is coming baby,” Hugging me on the stage.

  “Maybe she cannot be with me forever, but she can live in me forever.” But still, whatever it is, it is beautiful.

  The flight take off, in my hands I had two dairies. Like all of us, I also liked to read while travelling. So I had these two. One was mine and the other hers. That she gifted me on our first anniversary. Because I was missing her, I wanted to go through this dairy once more.

  Her dairy

  Thats how we met! ENJOY..

  “This title always makes me smile.” James corner. ( the corner where James has written about his feelings.)

  "Connection error"

  It was a rest day from work, I was in Jas’s apartment.

  We were having food, when someone called her,

  "What’s up dude, who is on the other side?" I asked when she was on the call for more time than usual.

  The foreign sisters! Jas said with a notorious expression led on her face. The reason was simple, my dream lover story, always happened to have some kind of link with these sisters, as they lived in a foreign country, so might be my lover was their acquaintent. As I and Jas thought of it many times but not paid much attention.

  I sat beside Jas in front of the screen. Someone knocked the door on the other side, Maira shouted “come in”. Jas and I, we both felt the same thrill inside our brain, being childhood besties, we both could judge each other’s expressions, and they said the same thing.