SHE: Coz we all love dreaming

by Prerna . K

  "Is it a confession"

  he asked.

  When we both were tired and sweaty, we sat on the bench, he said me in his tired breaths, “and this is what I have dreamt like a lover.”

  I smiled, “you will look more sexy and hot, young boy dancing in between those lights and millions of people in front of you.”

  He smiled, “Ohk kid, I will see that.”

  “I will also see that.”

  “Will you.”

  “Of course, where am I going now?”

  “It’s far.”

  “Still, where am I going?”

  “With your James somewhere”

  You are that James, idiot I said in my head, “where ever I will be, I will come back to look at this James, with his perfect dream.”

  He smiled.

  “God, your smile is a unique mixture of cuteness and sexiness. You will kill me one day.”

  He giggled. “Mad girl, are you drunk.”

  “Yeah, I m drinking the wine of your love.” This came in my mind, in a very classical and overdramatical style.

  “Goodness, I think you can’t handle the wine we had at the communal date.” he said, I was like did I said that dialogue loud.

  “Oh, yeah that can be the reason. In one hand wine and on other hand Calvin, Strong mixture.” I said overdramatically. I was really lying on his arm; my legs were on the bench stretched.

  “Do you really like him?”

  “I guess I did. He was like a perfect gentleman. Literally he looked like a prince from a royal family. And I tell you girls love formal, gentlemen type of guys.” I said spread a flying kiss on his name, in the air.

  He smiled. “I think I will have the pleasure to witness your great prince charming.”

  “Of course, I also think that.” I said thinking; I will make you stand in front of the mirror after confessing it.

  “Do you want to play the thumb fight.” he said enthusiastically turning towards me, I sat properly turned towards him, and said offering my hand for the game.

  “Of course”

  “This time random questions.” he said holding my hand.

  “Okay.” I said, we started playing our favorite game. He asked, “What do you think about our friendship?”

  “It’s great,” I said pressing his thumb,

  He lifted it out and asked, "where will you rate it among your other friends.”

  “Sorry I don’t rate great things.” I said, keenly playing the game.

  “Explain” he said pressing my thumb; I looked towards him, and said, “I don’t understand this thing. There is no priority table as such for my loved once; I don’t think I need it. It will create chaos. I have a lover circle, though.”

  “Alright,” he said playing the game competitedly.

  “Do you have such things?” I asked, giving him a tough competition.

  “I thought I should, like the one person who is going to stand for me every time, from whom I can expect.”

  “Cool,” my whole focus was on the game, though I retaliate this idea but I carried on with the game.

  “What do you think?” he asked, looking once to me, and then back to the game.

  “I prefer myself to give as much love as possible, it not matter much what I'm given back, I just want to love people, I feel better that way. And,

  People like me cant give all their attention to one person, you know,” I said, really ignoring any tough debate on it. I don’t like to debate on opinions.

  “Strange!” he said trying to put my thumb down.

  “Hmm, you know loving brings love in my heart naturally, making one person my priority, will create chaos.”

  “Cool” I know he might not have got my point, but as I said, I don’t like to debate, so I not said much.

  “Okay leave this topic, umh, tell about your first kiss” I said changing the topic.

  “Clumsy, very clumsy even though I tried to make it good.”

  “I want a good one.” I said pressing his thumb down, and trying to hold it there.

  “First kiss,”

  “Yeah” I said trying to press his thumb again, because he lifted it before.

  “Oh, wait what are you doing,” I said giggling, when our thumbs were extensively indulged in a war, and our fist were literally forced to many directions.

  “Yeah I did it,” I said pressing his thumb, triumphantly.

  “Oh I have a good question, what do you like the most about me,” I said, resting my thumb, looking at him.

  “Your smile and heartiest laughs, thats infectious.” he said looking at me.

  “yeah, I also like that,” I said stretching my lips, he smiled and asked

  “You”

  “Your blue eyes” I said touching his eyebrows.

  “I was going to say apart from them.” I smiled and held his hand, we again started our match.

  “Everything, I feel very good with you, so I mostly like you.” I said, twisting my thumb, to prevent from his.

  “Oh, should I register that as a confession,” he said pressing my thumb, holding it, looking at me.

  “Yeah you can,” I said shattering my shoulders and smiling slightly.

  “Ohk, should I ask you one thing,” he said looking at me.

  “Yeah” I said clutching again our hands, as I had left it before; my soldier needed a little rest. (and yes it is soldier, not shoulder.)

  “Promise me you won’t take it personal” he said starting the fight again.

  “Don’t judge yourself speak up,” I said fighting with his thumb earnestly.

  “Hey look at me” he said pulling my hand closer to his chest.

  “Are you this friendly to everyone or am I special. I mean I don’t think you flirt this much with every guy.”

  “No, not every, just my guy best friend, till words, I respect our relation and with my bro because I love being dis owned by him. Actually I only flirt with those guys, who I know, know me. Like who are comfortable, The special one's, so yeah you are special.”

  “Special, like what do you mean, as a friend or you are getting romantic about Me.” he said with a tilted smile.

  “Shut up, why are you sounding like you are going to propose me.” I thought, leaving his hand, because I not wanted that to happen right now.

  “Oh I’m sorry, I just asked, don’t take it that personal, I know you have James in your life, I just wanted to know”

  "Fuck," I again said it loud, god my mind is not in my control now, and it needs rest. I thought, feeling my body’s warmth that I generally have after doing a lot of work, especial late at night, because I’m not adapted to this life style. Morning person, so my body and mind, were now not ready to handle me.

  “Leave this, I think if we talked more about it, things will get messier and we will become awkward.” I said noticing him.

  “True!” he said with a smile. Though I knew he was feeling judged with what I said, but I was really out of my senses, as I started feeling my diffused body.

  He collided his arm with my shoulder, I literally swung, and said, “What are you doing?”

  “Take it easy babe. We both will go different.”

  I yawned, “See now I want to sleep,” I said holding his arm and resting my head, “and with you I m already taking it easy, dude. Don’t worry.” I said holding his hand And restfully retiring my tired brain and senses.

  I later crossed my fingers, and started playing with his thumb fight.

  james corner

  ( I was not depressed about the end, but I just wanted some more time with you. Though now your mind seemed clear about us. I just dont know what's going on with us but at least you felt the comfort with me. I didn’t want to remind you of this pressure of hurting my feelings. I actually not even wanted to show you anymore I was interested in you, I knew that was going to push you away.

  At last, of course I knew my presence never stole James thoughts and love for him from your head. I could simply feel your love fo
r him.)

  “Young boy, you will blast your head someday, we should talk to ourselves but not to our anxieties and fears, darling,” I said him, when he fell into deep silence staring the sky.

  He smiled. “Darling”

  “Yeah, darling,” I said in a provoking style, looking at him.

  “Mad girl” He said smilingly. I rested my head back on his shoulder, holding his arm.

  He held my hand and rested his back on the bench, he said, lovingly rubbing my hand with his thumb, “I will miss you girl.”

  “Not so soon we have more days.”

  “Maybe, but before this thing change I want to tell you, I gonna miss it all.”

  “It will not change, James.” I said, and thought our attachments were growing, as we were spending more time together, it was really going to be a discomfort after this trip end.

  “After James”

  “God this boy,”

  “Ok, sorry.” he said resting back, I gently tilted his head on mine, and said, “Sleep now. Good night.”

  .

  "Lets rag that guy"

  just for fun.

  The next day we all went to the famous church in Panaji.

  It was a beautiful monument for me; I was following James, because I did not know how to behave in a church though I had studied in a Christian school for four years. It was really peaceful to be there and see how beautiful and calm a place can be.

  The atmosphere of religious places is something that attracts me the most towards them. They had a very pacific spirit, everyone inside become naturally placid and calm. It was so captivating and relaxing. We stayed during the whole prayer, I was keenly observing everything. James was sitting beside me, and I don’t know when he crossed my fingers with his.

  I was feeling it like a blessing to be here with him. At this moment he himself didn’t know what an adorable person he looked like, Beautiful. After the prayer ended, we went to more corners of this church to see all the architecture.

  Then we went to see some more monuments and local shops. Maira and I went together to a mall, at first we both were very sincerely looking around to buy something good. But then a very handsome Indian guy crossed our way. Maira and I looked up saw him, saw each other. And we both were like “did you saw him.”

  “Let’s follow him,” I said.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, just for fun, come on,” I said.

  “Okay.” She said excitedly.

  We both literally rushed after him, he was taking the lift, we both ran towards the lift like there was someone very important to us, and got it.

  We both were laughing on our madness standing behind him, while he was standing like a statue there, both hands inside his pocket, posing like a very serious dude.

  When the lift stopped at the third floor, we both stepped out thinking he might also step out, but he didn’t,

  “Hey wait, wait!” I said looking towards the lift when we were out of it,

  The door like thing opened, I asked the boy, “Are you not coming out.”

  In full attitude he said “no.”

  “Okay so to which floor you are going,” I asked him.

  He said “fourth floor.”

  I held Maria’s hand and walked in the lift, “okay so we are also going to the fourth floor.” I said.

  Maira was mad laughing on what I just did, when we stood behind him. I swear he could hear our giggles. When the lift stopped on the fourth floor, we both waited for him to step out and then we did.

  We followed him, I asked Maira to call out any girl name but not my real name, like any other name, when I'm in front of him, I went in front of him, Maira called out some name I turned back and had a proper eye contact with him, I said hey raising my hand for a high five. It looked like, I was saying to the guy as I was continuously looking at him, but as he came close I shifted to Maira who was just behind him. He looked at us totally confused, and then we moved on.

  We continued such raging for a little while until we felt like it was too much. Then we went down to shop something, we were very hungry so we went to the food corner afterward, where he was already sitting. I thought looking at him, when a goat is ready for his execution what are we waiting for. We took the table that was right in front of him and stared at him until he not finished his dish and went away.

  At the parking lord we again found him, this time instead of shying he looked towards us and smiled. He stood in front of us and introduced himself, he literally asked, “you were following me are you interested.”

  Maira looked towards me as I said, “actually we are a couple, I said holding her hand. You know, lesbians.”

  “Oh, so why were you following me,” he said.

  “Why were you walking in front of us?” I said, laughing from inside, he was going to say something, that I crossed his way and went on.

  “Now excuse us” I said with attitude, and moved on. When we both sat in our cab Maira, I laughed loud on this joke.

  “Did you saw his face, he was literally so confident, what a solid answer you gave.”

  “Fuck I was literally stone when he came, but god damn I'm smart,” I said.

  “He would be judging himself now.”

  “I'm sure he would be still confused. He would be trying to understand what I said.” I said.

  When we were back in the resort James reminded me about Calvin’s show, which was after one hour. I literally hugged him and in an overdramatic crying tone said, “I need rest.”

  “So you don’t want to go.”

  “That’s the problem, I want to go, but I want to rest.” I kept my forehead on his shoulder, and started crying overdramatically again. And to be clear I was just acting, because I was feeling tired and fused.

  He held me by my shoulder “Go inside, and come fast” he said pushing me in my room, as we were standing on my door. I freshen up and got ready for that, while others were going out to a restaurant for a group dinner.

  When James and I reached there, the show was already started. All guests were sitting in their seats; the waiter showed us our table where our name was already written. We sat there, the waiter brought wine for us.

  It was a classy setup. Many singers were performing on the stage. I felt like I was in one of those award shows where every known singer perform their hit tracks. Though I was not feeling that enthusiastic, but I felt a little charmed up, by this set up.

  The performances were not that grand but they were good. They at least fused some energy in me.

  It was Calvin’s performance, when one of the performers came and asked me to join them, everyone was looking towards me, I felt abashed but James pushed me to go for it. I seriously had no idea what to do on the stage but I went. Calvin was singing like a pop star. He held my hand and started jumping, just like I was doing to encourage James, last night. I started jumping with him, I literally felt like I was looking like a fool. But I tried to enjoy it, Calvin said a lyric and pushed the mic in front of me, he again said the line to make me understand it, pushed the mic, this time I said it, though I felt like my voice was trash. This went on, I was trying to enjoy it with him and seriously at one point I was so caught up in the moment. Calvin engaged me so well that it was such a cheerful and delighted time for me after that I was really fired up. I did not look towards the crowd I was just looking towards him; I enjoyed it when I was not judging myself.

  When the song ended he bowed, kissed my hand and said, “Thank you so much lady. You made my day.”

  Everyone started hooting and clapping, I gave him a formal hug. And said, “You made my day.” And came down. Somewhere he really impressed me. I went to James and asked him, “If I was looking like a mad person.”

  “No, your smile is beautiful so even your crazy ness look beautiful.”

  I was shocked, “James” I said again “are you alright.” “You will not call me a little kid this time.”

  “Oh I forgot, my... He stopped, little kid.”


  “Yeah that’s cool, your little kid.”

  He just smiled.

  It was already late when the show got over; I straight went to bed and slept.

  Calvin, come back

  yeah he did.

  At 7 am I woke up, freshen and went to James room. This time I did not have any reason I just wanted to so I went.

  When James opened the door, he was without his t-shirt his eyes were swelled up I thought, I woke him up from his sleep.

  “Were you sleeping,” I asked. “Yeah Come in.”

  He went back to the bed, wore his t-shirt. Maira was also sleeping there with him.

  As I said, “Maira is also here.”

  He said looking towards Maira wearing his shirt, “don’t think much. We are best friends that’s it.”

  “I have not judged you guys.”

  “I thought you were going to, like most of the people so I said in advance.”

  “No I understand that. By the way she is looking so cute.”

  “Yeah” James said sweetly petting his head, “she really looks like a baby while sleeping otherwise she is a monster. But she is cute, I love her.” He looked at me and we both said together “as a best friend.”

  He smiled. “Cool, in this thing you are not like foolish teens who can’t respect friendship of the opposite gender.”

  “I also have a guy best friend so I can understand this. Okay I'm going now; I just wanted to see you so I came; now you sleep.”

  “Wait, you have disturbed me now, I can’t sleep so stay here.”

  “Okay, cool.” I slept beside Maira.

  “Maira told me about the mall incident. You are mad.” He said combing Maira's head.

  “I love doing that. It’s more fun with my girl gang, we all pill the guy off..” I said putting my arms around Maira. She turned towards me, and hugged me, sleeping,

  "oh goodness, she is seriously cute." I said, liking her act,