Irresistible: A Salvation Society Novel
Page 12
“You take care and good luck.” I stand as he wheels himself out of the room and just like that, 4C is empty.
I head home. First, I stop in Jess’s room. “Hey, sweet pea.” I kiss the top of her head.
“Got a functions test on Monday,” she explains.
“I won’t keep you,” I say.
“That’s okay. I kind of wanted to take a break anyway,” she says. She presses her lips together. “So what’s going on with you and the guy?”
I was grilled by Jenny and Halo when we got back to Jenny’s aunt’s house. Jess went with Brandon, Macy and Jenny’s kids to watch a Star Wars movie. Thomas and Dave joined them, thankfully, because I still feel kind of awkward speaking of another man around Thomas because he does things to honor Liam’s memory which is amazing and awkward for me all at once.
“He’s great and I really like him, but he’s got a lot on his plate. He was injured and he’s been through a lot emotionally. I don’t want to set myself up to get hurt,” I admit.
“You need to take a chance, Mom. Otherwise you’ll never know,” Jess says.
“When did you become so smart about relationships?” I ask.
“I’m not. I’m just telling you what I think you would say to me.” She grins.
“Thanks.” I take a seat on her bed and fall back. “Things are just so complicated.”
“But you really like him,” Jess says.
I sit back up. “How do you feel about that? I know you haven’t met him, but he’s getting out of the hospital this week. I was thinking we could have dinner in a restaurant together,” I say.
“That sounds great.” She smiles. “I’ve always worried about you being alone when I left for college,” she admits.
“Aw, sweetie. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“But I do,” she says.
I take a breath. “You know the letter your dad left me?”
“I know all about the letter,” she says blandly. The guilt of not finding her a daddy always ate away at me.
“I just feel like I’ve let both of you down and now that you’re leaving in a year and a half, I’ve gone and fallen hard for a man.” I frown.
“You can’t control when feelings happen. I think I’m the only girl in my school that waited until junior year to kiss a boy,” she says.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. It just feels like everything is up in the air. I also want to go looking for an apartment. I always wanted to buy a house around here, but I don’t think I want to make a permanent decision now even though I want us to have our own place.”
Jessy stands from her desk and walks over to me. “Having our own place would be completely awesome.” She wraps her arms around me, and I cherish these moments with my daughter.
I hug her back and when she pulls away, I stand. “I’m going to go get ready for bed.”
“You’re going to go talk to your boyfriend,” she says, waggling her brows.
“Yeah, I am,” I say. I don’t know if Bennett is even my boyfriend, but he is very special to me. “Study away.”
“On it.” She winks. I kiss the top of her head. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” she says, and she picks up her pencil and starts an equation.
Back in my room I fall back on my bed. I think of my conversation with Halo and Jenny yesterday. I had told Jenny and Halo about the amazing kiss I shared with Bennett in the sheet closet while I was over for dessert at Jenny’s aunt’s mansion. I also told them how we haven’t discussed a future together, despite the fact that we both have strong feelings for each other.
Halo said to give him time to adjust to the outside. I sure don’t want to pressure him either—I just wonder where his head is at. I definitely know what my heart’s been feeling. I just wish things weren’t so up in the air. If there was one thing I liked about my life it’s that it was predictable and stable. Now, it feels like anything but.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Bennett
I dial my girl. Thinking those words have me feeling heady. I was never this guy. I didn’t make promises I couldn’t keep. I told women upfront that my job came first. Until her and now.
I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t pressure me or ask me what my plans are.
The phone rings three times. “Hello,” she says out of breath.
“Where did I catch you, baby?” I ask. Looking at my watch, I see it’s half past nine.
“I made Aunt Bee and Uncle Jim a late-night snack. Just brought it to their bedroom and I left my phone in the kitchen, so I ran back down here,” she says.
“Can’t they make their own damn snack?” I ask, unable to hide my irritation. From our nightly calls I’m getting the feeling these people are real users.
“It’s no big deal,” she says.
“Fine, but when I’m out of here I want to come over there and meet them. I want to see how you’re living. Why you’ve chosen to come into this hospital nights your daughter isn’t home,” I say.
“Bennett, honey,” she says, and the way she sing-songs my name and calls me ‘honey’ gets me all riled up. It makes me feel like I’ve found my home. “They aren’t the friendliest people. I usually don’t bring guests around. It’s more like a place that Jessy and I crash.”
“That’s how you’ve been living for the past twelve years? Baby, I told you how shitty my time in foster care was. You need a home. A place you’re comfortable, for you and your daughter,” I say.
“I know, it’s just that I’ve been saving money and Jessy leaves for college after next year. I always figured I’d make the move at some point. Now, I’ve realized that living here has become stressful for my daughter so I’ll be moving out soon,” I say.
“Why do I get the feeling you’ve been planning a move for years?” I ask. “I don’t want to step on your toes. I just want you to be happy.”
She doesn’t answer.
“I’m right. Aren’t I?” I ask.
“Maybe,” she mutters quietly.
I don’t like that she feels stuck in her situation. I know all about being in a place you don’t like and not having a way out. Avery is a grown woman, but given her childhood, I am not surprised she is scared to take a risk and be on her own.
I don’t want to push the matter further and make her feel bad so I drive the conversation toward the one thing I know puts a smile on her face. “I can’t wait to meet Jessy.”
“I can’t wait for you to meet her either,” she says, her tone perks up. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you don’t meet a single mother’s kid unless you’re an important part of her life.
“Maybe we can do dinner when you get out,” she says.
I laugh. “You make it sound like I’m doing time in prison.”
“Not what I meant,” she says in a chiding tone.
“I know,” I say. “So, what are you wearing?” I ask, my voice turning gruff at the thought of her luscious lips.
“Honestly?” she asks, sounding hesitant.
“Yeah, honestly. Whatever you’re wearing, I’ll find sexy. Hell, I saw you in your scrubs the first time and felt breathless, and those things do nothing to show off your curves.”
“Bennett,” she sing-songs my name.
“It’s true. Now tell me,” I insist.
“A Snoopy pajama shirt,” she says, sounding embarrassed.
“Hmm, I bet you look so hot. I can’t wait to get my hands on you . . .”
“Bennett, stop . . . I . . .”
“Let yourself get turned on,” I say.
“It’s been so long. I’m . . .”
“What are you going to say?” My voice dips deep as heat swirls into my stomach and down to my cock. I’m rock hard.
“I want you so bad,” she says.
“Are you wet?” I ask.
“Bennett,” she chides. “I can’t answer that.”
There is something so pure and unadulterated about Avery that makes me crazy hot. Knowing she hasn�
��t had sex in eons just makes me want to take her more.
“If I wasn’t scared of someone walking in here, I’d tell you to touch yourself while I rub myself. I’m rock hard for you, baby,” I say.
She breathes fast into the phone. “I never touch myself,” she admits, shocking me. “I’ve just shut that part of myself off,” she says, and my heart hurts for her. What has she been through that she’s stopped herself from satisfying her needs?
“It means a lot to me that you’re sharing that with me. I want to take care of you like you deserve to be taken care of. I just need to get the hell out of here,” I say. I’ll probably need to rub one out in the washroom after this call.
“I can’t wait for you to get out of there,” she says. “And Bennett, I am wet. So wet at the thought of you having your hands on me,” she says, and I know it wasn’t easy for her to say that out loud. I heard the hesitation in her voice.
I hiss. “Avery, touch yourself. Now. Put your fingers between your thighs and rub,” I order.
“Bennett, Monica could walk into your room. You need to be careful. Stop saying my name,” she chides me.
“She’s already been here. She was curious as to when I was leaving. Suggested that me and her grab a cup of coffee together after I’m released,” I say.
“What?” Avery snaps. “You’re kidding me. She hit on you?”
“Yeah, baby, she did,” I say.
“And what did you do?” She asks.
“I told her I didn’t think that was a good idea. She walked over to my bed and placed her hand on my arm,” I say.
“She what?” Avery practically shrieks. “That woman got me in trouble at work. She almost cost me my job and then she has the nerve to hit on you?”
“Relax. I told her to take her hand off me. That I wasn’t interested. I would have told her I was taken but I didn’t want to set off any warning signals in her mind,” I say.
I hear her blow out a breath. I love how jealous and possessive she just became.
“Now take a deep breath and close your eyes. Where were we? Oh, yes. You are dipping your fingers into your warmth,” I say.
The phone is quiet and then I hear Avery breathing hard. I begin to rub my cock a little then slip my hand under the sheet, squeezing my girth and pumping.
“Bennett,” she moans.
“I’m so hard for you. I’m getting myself off Avery. I’m thinking that it’s my fingers touching you between your thighs. I’m dreaming about how wet you are. How bad I want my mouth between your thighs, my tongue licking your sweet pussy.”
She moans louder. “I can’t do this,” she pants.
“Let go, baby. Fall with me,” I say, and she does. She falls into orgasm and I blow my load in my hands like a fucking teenage boy.
After we’ve had some time to recover, we stay on the phone chatting some more. Avery’s voice has grown low and tired. She sounds sexy as hell and I wonder what it would feel like to have her in my bed all night. Every night.
“I can’t wait to get out of this place so I can spend more time with you,” I say. I don’t know how and what that will look like, but I want it like my next breath.
“I want that too,” she says.
“Do you know where you’ll stay?” she asks.
“No, not yet. I wanted something close by to you, but I don’t know how to make that work. My place is in Virginia Beach. I have some money, but I don’t want to waste it on a rental if I don’t have to. I don’t have any job prospects lined up. I need to come up with a plan and fast; it’s just not so easy,” I explain.
“I understand,” she says, and I appreciate her understanding.
“Thank you. I want you in my life, Avery. I just don’t know what my life out there is going to look like.”
“We’ll figure something out,” she says.
“Yeah, okay.” I rake the fingers on my free hand through my hair, wishing we had a better plan than this.
“Have a good night,” she says.
“You too, baby,” I say. “I wish you were in my arms so that I could kiss you goodnight.”
“I’m here waiting,” she says, sounding so pliant and relaxed.
It doesn’t seem fair to talk to her this way when I don’t have a plan of how to keep her in my life. Yet I’m determined to make sure that Avery Malone stays in my life.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Bennett
I hop out of the shower after my physical therapy appointment. I dry my body and turn my head so I can see the scars down my back. There’s one that is more pronounced, long and jagged. Memories from the IED explosion threaten to surface making my body feel too hot and palpitations make me feel woozy. No, I won’t think about it. I’m lucky things didn’t end up worse for me.
After drying my body, I slip on a pair of boxers and lounge pants followed by a T-shirt. My anxiety is high this morning. Sutton should be here any minute, and Quinn and Jackson are due to arrive within the hour. Quinn seems to think that Cole Security is the right place for me and maybe it is, but how do I include Avery and her daughter in my life from freaking Virginia Beach? We haven’t known each other long, and yet we’re very much a couple with strong feelings for each other. Still, if I don’t have a job or a way to support myself and a family then what kind of man would I be?
I never knew who my father was—I only knew he didn’t give a shit about sticking around. He must have been a loser with no job and no sense of responsibility. I can’t be that man.
“Hello,” Sutton’s voice calls me from inside my room.
I inhale and exhale, and open the bathroom door. “Hey, man,” I say. I limp toward my bed since I don’t use the cane for short distances; it makes me feel like an old guy.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asks. His sister came to take him back to Alabama a couple days ago and he sent her home on her own. He’s been staying in a hotel while waiting for this meeting.
“Nothing.” I walk over to the only chair in the room and take a seat.
“It doesn’t look like you have nothing on your mind,” he says, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“How are you? How’s the hotel?” I ask.
“It’s good. Easy, with an elevator, but pricey as hell. I hope this Jackson can offer me a good job,” he says.
I laugh sardonically. “What is it about us guys that we need these complicated jobs? We need to save the world.”
“I don’t know about you, but I was always proud to serve my country and it was a way for me to get away from farm life,” he says.
“For me, it was a place to go after foster care ended. Then I saw I could be someone people respected. Do things to keep people safe, and it fed something inside me that I always needed,” I admit.
“And you want that feeling to continue.” He has me pegged.
“Yeah, man.” I blow out a breath. “Problem is . . .”
“A particular blonde with a heart of gold,” he says.
“I don’t know what to do. There’s no way I can lose her,” I say, my chest growing tight at the thought.
“You two have something special. You’ll figure it out,” he says.
“I sure hope so.” I know it’s messed up, but I need more time with her. When I get out of here, we can really be together, and I can show her that we are meant to be. I just hope that she will be up to moving to Virginia Beach with me because if Jackson makes me the right offer, I don’t think I’ll be able to reject it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Avery
I’ve just finished with a patient in the gym area and I’m heading to the cafeteria for a coffee and snack when I pass the front entrance to the hospital and see Sutton speaking with one of the nurses. I do a double take. I thought he left town. I saw his sister pick him up.
I wait off to the side until he’s done.
“Hey, you.” I lean over and give him a hug.
“Hi, Avery. Good to see you again,” he says warily.
“What brings you in? I thought you were all clear.” I grin.
“I am. Just met up with a friend. Your old patient Mr. Sheridan. We had a job interview,” Sutton says.
“Really?” I spoke to Bennett last night. He didn’t mention anything at all. “What kind of a job?”
“For me it would be strictly office work for Cole Security. The owner is a friend of Quinn. You know, the guy who came for Thanksgiving dinner,” Sutton says.
My stomach sinks. “I remember Quinn.” Thomas said he was an ex-SEAL.
“So his friend has this huge security company. They have government contracts and it sounds really cool. I told him I’m in,” Sutton says.
Sutton always spoke about becoming a therapist. He was so good with so many of the patients but maybe he wasn’t really into it. Maybe, like everyone else around here, he was searching for a place to fit in in his new life.
“I’m happy for you,” I tell him.
“Me too. I won’t feel like a broken soldier there. I’ll be doing work that matters and getting paid well,” he says, his excitement transparent. I want to ask him about Bennett, but it seems inappropriate.
Why didn’t he mention any of this to me?
“So, you’ll be staying in Jersey then. That’s great news,” I say.
Sutton’s face falls. “The job is in Virginia Beach,” he says sympathetically.
It feels like a knife has been put through my chest. Bennett lives in Virginia Beach. It would make sense that he would want to work there.
I want to ask Sutton if Bennett was offered a job there too, but I should give the man I’m in a relationship with the chance to breaks the news to me. I bid my friend goodbye and wish him luck. I continue on with my day but the sinking feeling in my stomach doesn’t cease.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Bennett