Irresistible: A Salvation Society Novel

by R. C. Stephens

  As I put my phone down, Bennett wraps his arm around my waist, his erection pressing on my back, and we make love again. This time he rolls on top of me, using his arms to brace himself. He enters me slowly, moving his hips in a slow roll. His torturous rhythm rubs my clit in all the right places. We come again together, falling into this beautiful ecstasy, this place where I feel safe beneath him. To this place where we feel like one.

  Chapter Thirty

  Avery

  My phone alarm goes off. I had to set an alarm so Bennett and I wouldn’t be in bed together if Jessy decided to come home early. I turn to see that Bennett isn’t in bed. He’s awake which means I can steal a few extra minutes of sleep.

  I press the snooze button. Another five minutes won’t hurt. My body feels tired and well used. My eyes close and I fall into a blissful sleep.

  The alarm goes off, scaring the crap out of me.

  I sit and rub my eyes, then I run my fingers through my hair to tame it. I walk over to my dresser and take out a large football jersey I have from college. It hits my knees. Then I trudge over to the kitchen. My muscles ache. I can feel Bennett everywhere. It’s a heady feeling. I’ve never had such a strong connection with a man before. It’s like Bennett and I get each other. It helps that our chemistry is certifiably explosive, and he and Jessy get along so well.

  I’m falling for him and that terrifies me, yet I don’t want to stop myself from falling. I hit the kettle and look in the fridge to see what our breakfast options are. A phone beeps and I automatically turn to its sound. It’s Bennett’s phone. Sutton’s name lights up the screen, along with a message. Can’t wait to see you in two weeks. This place is freaking awesome.

  See him in two weeks? What the . . .?

  My heart beats faster. Sutton said he took the job, but Bennett never mentioned it. I assumed he declined. Is he leaving me in two weeks?

  I reread the message, thinking that maybe I read it wrong, but no—the words are there in fine print. With all the drama with my aunt and uncle, and finding a new place to live, I forgot about the whole job thing. Bennett would have said something if there were, in fact, something to say. I feel like such a fool, allowing myself to live in this perfect bubble where I believed I’d met a great man who liked me a lot and got along with my daughter. I’ve gone and fallen in love with him, for crying out loud. You stupid fool, I shout in my head, and my palms begin to sweat. The thought of losing Bennett guts me. Did he even plan on saying goodbye? I think back to all the messed-up situations I had with Liam. How he shut down before leaving on a deployment. He never gave me the love and attention I needed, and I somehow convinced myself that Bennet was the real deal. That he’d be different. How could he be so cruel?

  He isn’t, Avery.

  The voice in my mind is unconvincing. That text message speaks volumes. Sutton and Bennett bonded, and they are meeting up in Virginia fucking Beach.

  “Avery?” Bennett’s voice breaks into the internal meltdown I’m having. I am holding his phone and staring at it, probably like it’s a lethal weapon hellbent on destruction. He’s freshly showered, wearing one of those sweaters that hugs his thick arms. His jeans hang on him just right—narrow on the waist, not too tight in the thighs.

  My head snaps up to his eyes and I remember how they first made me fall for him. His molten eyes carried so much emotion, but it was all a lie.

  “When were you going to tell me you were leaving?” I snap, passing him the phone. I watch as his eyes widen and he takes a deep breath. He takes the phone, and I walk out of the kitchen.

  “Avery, it’s not what you think,” he says.

  “Oh, really? You didn’t take a job at the other end of the country. And you won’t be starting in two weeks. And, let me guess—you’ve known for a while and didn’t want to enlighten me. Hmm, what could that mean?” I tap my fingers against my chin. “What was I—just some piece of ass to you? I know how SEALs can be. I’ve heard stories around the hospital. I’ve seen my friends’ marriages fall apart. You guys go overseas, and you think you can do whatever the hell you like. Doesn’t matter who’s home waiting for you.”

  “That isn’t fair.” Bennett takes a step back like I’ve wounded him.

  “Ha! That’s funny. You’ve been telling me how much you care about me. I let you meet my daughter, for fuck’s sake,” I say, waving my hands in the air like a crazed person. “There was a reason I didn’t date. There was a reason I didn’t let anyone into our lives.”

  “Would you please let me explain?” he pleads, his mocha eyes holding a torrent of emotion.

  “What is there to explain? Did you take a job in Virginia Beach?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. Anger pulses through me. I don’t know who I am madder at—him or me.

  “Yes, but—”

  “Are you leaving in two weeks?” I ask.

  “Yes, but let me explain,” he says, his voice low and broken.

  “Just leave. Get out. I don’t ever want to see you again,” I say.

  “Avery, please,” he says.

  Tears run down my cheeks and blur my vision. This is too painful. I’m a mess and Jess may be home soon.

  “Leave.” I point to the door.

  Bennett walks over to the door. He opens the closet and takes his jacket and cane, and he walks out.

  I fall to the couch and bawl my eyes out. What was I thinking, falling for a man like him? What a colossal mistake.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Avery

  After spending all day Sunday watching movies in bed, I head back to work on Monday determined to get my life back on track. I get through my morning appointments.

  I’m leaving the gym area on my way to the lockers to eat my lunch in solitude when Cindy stops me.

  “Hey, you. Mind telling me why you were MIA all weekend?” She waggles her brows like I would have some juicy details. I never told her about Bennett, and for that, I feel like an awful friend. My eyes begin to water. Her face falls. “I’m sorry. What’s going on? Did something happen?” she asks.

  “A lot.” I nod.

  “Do you want to get out of here?” she asks, clearly reading my distress.

  “Yes,” I sigh.

  “I’ll drive. Let me just go up and grab my purse. I’ll meet you out front?”

  “Okay.” I head to the locker-room, grab my purse and meet her outside.

  We walk over to her car in silence then get in. She starts the engine but before she puts the car in drive, she looks at me thoughtfully. “Is this about him?”

  “Him?” I ask, feigning confusion.

  “Aw, come on. Give me a little more credit than that,” she says.

  I remain quiet.

  “Avery, we’ve been good friends a while. I know what your life has been like. I’ve seen you trudge through your time at work, passing another day and another day. Then suddenly there was a pep in your step,” she says.

  “I’m always smiling at work. I’m happy to be helping my patients,” I say.

  “I never said that you weren’t good at what you do or weren’t committed. Everyone knows how committed you are, but you suddenly had something more,” she says.

  My stomach sinks. She knows about Bennett. “Does the whole hospital know?”

  Her right eye pinches slightly shut, and she tilts her head from side to side. “I wouldn’t say everyone, but some people are talking. It’s only hearsay though. No one has proof.”

  I blow out a breath.

  “Avery, you could’ve trusted me. I would’ve never told your secret. I thought we were good friends,” she says.

  “I’m sorry. I feel terrible.”

  “I can see, and I don’t intend to guilt you now. All I’m saying is I’m here for you if you need me. You can talk to me. I would never do anything to jeopardize your livelihood. I know I say stupid shit sometimes and get caught up in the gossip mill at work, but I do have boundaries.” She laughs sadly.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt
your feelings by not sharing. I was just terrified of what was happening between Bennett and me. I’ve never felt this way before and . . .” I search for the right words.

  “You fell in love with him,” she says.

  The tears I was holding back begin to fall. I hate to admit it, but I did exactly that. I nod because words are just too hard.

  “Oh, honey.” She leans over to hug me.

  “He’s leaving,” I say.

  Sure, he’s been calling my phone non-stop and sending messages, but nothing he can say will fix the broken inside me.

  “You mean he isn’t planning on staying in Jersey?” she asks.

  “No,” I say. “He didn’t even tell me he was planning to leave.” Sutton had let the job interview slip. I should’ve confronted Bennett though. I should’ve called him on it. “I feel stupid and weak.”

  “Hon, you are anything but that. You’re kind and smart. You’re a kickass PT and an amazing mom,” she says.

  “I let my daughter down too. I stayed with Aunt Bee and Uncle Jim too long. I knew they were toxic . . .”

  “They provided you a safety net. You got to save your money, and I’ve met Jessy how many times? Right, like a million. That girl is smart and stable. That’s all on you. Don’t you forget that. I know it’s shitty to have your heart broken. How many times have you given me pep talks over the years?” She looks to me with her lips tilted down, her eyes creasing in the corners.

  “Enough times,” I answer knowingly.

  “’Cause I put myself out there. I allow myself to feel, and yeah, it’s scary, and I do get hurt, but I can tell you what I don’t want in a man. I can also tell you what I do want. I just haven’t found it yet,” she says.

  “I know what I don’t want either. Life with Liam was mediocre, but I had Jess to think of and I wanted her to have her daddy around,” I say.

  “From the stories you told me, you put up with too much,” Cindy says. “No disrespect to the dead, but it’s true, Avery.”

  “I know. You’re right. I was young and alone with a baby. I put up with too much crap. I’m not that woman anymore though. I won’t be left behind or manipulated. I just won’t have it,” I say.

  “Hear, hear,” Cindy says.

  I look at her and burst out laughing. I feel manic, but with the overload of emotions inside me, I need a release. She laughs too and things just feel lighter.

  “We got half an hour. How about we go indulge in some cheeseburgers, fries, and maybe some gravy?” she says, and she licks her lips.

  “That sounds perfect, minus the gravy for me.” I smile.

  She drives off, and even though I’m still feeling glum she’s reminded me that I am not the woman I once was. I won’t put up with the things I used to put up with.

  My phone beeps in my hand and I see another text message from Bennett. I’ve been ignoring them. I told myself that if I read them, I will lower my defenses and I don’t want that.

  My phone beeps again.

  Bennett: Please meet with me. I need you, Avery. Please.

  His simple words break my heart in two. I put the phone away and have lunch with my friend. I won’t let another SEAL turn me into a fool.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Bennett

  “I’ve tried texting and calling. She won’t even answer my calls,” I say, pacing back and forth in my apartment.

  “Man, I told you to be up front with her. Trust me, after everything Ashton and I have been through, I can finally say I know how to stay out of the doghouse,” Quinn says.

  I scoff. “Why do I find that unlikely.”

  “Hey, don’t start. Ashton and I have been through a lot, but the main thing is that I am trying to show her I’m here for the long run. I’m not cutting out,” he says, sounding like a man I don’t even know. I would make fun of him and tell him he’s lost his nuts only I totally get how he feels. I’d say and do anything to win back Avery’s trust right now.

  “How can I show her when she won’t answer my calls?” I ask.

  “Go to her work, find her at home. Do whatever you need to do,” he says.

  “Work is out of the question. I don’t want her getting fired. She was already warned about me,” I mumble, mostly to myself.

  “I’ve got to go. Keep me posted.”

  “Talk to you later.”

  “Bye.” He ends the call.

  I think of how my life could have taken a very different route had my angel not walked into my hospital room when she did. The pain was unbearable and all I saw was black. Then Avery came into my life like a ray of sunshine. She saved me that day. I can’t lose her.

  I call Sutton because I still haven’t returned his text message.

  “Hello,” he answers, sounding cheerful. I’m happy for him.

  “Hey, man,” I say.

  “Is everything okay?” he asks. I haven’t known him very long and he’s much younger, but this kid feels like he could’ve been my brother. Maybe it’s the military connection.

  “Well, I kind of messed up with Avery,” I say.

  “Shoot. I hope I didn’t have anything to do with it,” he says.

  None of this is his fault. I take the blame for holding back. “Why would you say that?” I ask, because it is an odd thing for him to say.

  “The day Jackson and Quinn came into the hospital to interview us, I bumped into Avery on my way out. I assumed you told her about the interview, so I mentioned it,” he says.

  Fuck me. She knew and didn’t say anything. She must have thought I was keeping it from her all this time.

  “It’s no worries. I didn’t tell her about it because I wanted more time with her. I handled things badly, but I plan on fixing it,” I say.

  “You know, that night she invited you along for the movie night she thought I’d be a good influence on you. At least, that’s why I think she introduced us. Reality is meeting you was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I’m really happy here at Cole,” he says.

  “I’m happy for you, brother,” I say, and I truly mean it.

  “Thanks, man. Will I still be seeing you soon?” he asks.

  “I hope so, but I’m honestly not sure,” I say.

  I don’t want to screw Jackson over because he’s amazing and I’m so grateful, but I can’t walk away from what I have with Avery. We just mesh together. Nothing like this has happened to me before.

  “Don’t say anything to anyone, okay? I’m working on getting there,” I add.

  “Mum’s the word. Avery is special. Hope it all works out,” he says.

  “Thanks, Sutton. Take care and kick ass out there,” I say.

  “Right back at you.”

  We end the call and I look at the clock on my phone. She usually gets home after six. I take a seat on the couch and wait. With all this time on my hands, I try to find a way to win her back. I only hope that I can.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Avery

  I leave the gym and head home. I was hoping a spin class would increase my endorphins and make me happy, but it didn’t work.

  I pull into the parking lot of my new building. Jess is standing next to Dylan’s car. They’re kissing, mouths meshed together. Young love. I try to push my own anxieties aside so I can be happy for my daughter. Just because I haven’t had luck in love doesn’t mean Jess will have the same fate.

  I leave the car and carry my gym bag on my shoulder. Snow sprinkles down, the air is fresh and crisp, and everything looks so pretty and serene. Too bad my mood doesn’t match.

  I clear my throat. “Hey, Jess.”

  She jerks back at the sound of my voice. She was clearly too busy to notice me. “Mom,” she says, in a very high-pitched voice. “Hi.”

  “Hi Dylan.” I wave.

  “Good to see you again, Ms. Malone,” he says with his accent.

  “I best be going,” he says to Jess, eyeing me out of the corner of his eye.

  “If you like you can stay for dinner. I’m maki
ng turkey chili,” I offer.

  Dylan looks to Jess, and she shrugs and nods.

  “Sure, I’d love to,” he says.

  “I’ll see you upstairs then,” I say.

  I leave the lovebirds on their own. It’s freezing outside, and I need a cup of tea to warm up. I’m glad that Jess has been bringing friends over. She never had the option to do that while growing up, and I still feel guilty about it.

  I hang my jacket and leave my gym bag on the floor. I’m a sweaty mess but I figure I’ll start on dinner and then go shower. I hit the kettle and take out a large pot and pan, since I like to cook the turkey thoroughly.

  I check my phone. There hasn’t been a single message from Bennett all afternoon. Not since he sent me that desperate message when I was out with Cindy. A part of me is sad that he’s stopped trying even though we would have never worked out in the long run anyway. I see that now. He was recently injured and happy to be alive. He wasn’t planning on settling down. Not with a single mother, and maybe not ever.

  With the pot simmering on the stove I head to the shower. As I pass the closed door to Jess’s room, I hear laughter through the door. I smile as I head to the washroom to take a shower. With time on my hands I wash my hair and massage a treatment through my ends. My stomach feels hollow and I wish it would go away.

  I throw on an oversized hoodie and a pair of jogging pants, and tie my hair up in a loose bun. When I leave the bathroom, the door to Jess’s room is still closed. Hopefully, my daughter heeded my advice about being careful or practicing abstinence, which is the best way to go. I would know, since I perfected it with more than a decade of no sex.

  I walk through the family room toward the kitchen and—

  What the heck?