by Nicole Hall
His face softened, and Zee thought he might give in. That he might trust her and believe in her enough that he’d be willing to learn. “I’m not going to risk it.”
Her hope drained out of her. She remained a means to an end to him. Disappointment ran through her, and she didn’t bother to hide it. She wanted him to understand how she felt about his decision. About choosing fear over her.
He shook his head as if she’d said something, but he was reacting to her emotions. “Is that all that matters to you? My magic?”
“No. You matter to me, but you refuse to hear that. You won’t be the same person after.”
“Maybe not, but I won’t run the risk of killing anyone I care about.”
She growled in frustration and let him go. “Very well. Have it your way, but we need to deal with the Wood first. I think one of my people may know something or have something to do with all this.”
“I said I’d help, but not tonight.”
“Ryan, this is serious.”
He backed away as if she’d caught fire. “I’m done talking about this. The apartment is yours as long as you need it.” The door opened and closed silently, and Zee was left in his bedroom alone.
She leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor. He’d left. Zee’d never thought he’d actually do it. Deep inside, she’d always believed that Ryan would hold. The apartment door closed quietly in the other room. Her mind circled around and around to the same thoughts. He was afraid. He didn’t trust her. He hated himself. She didn’t want him to leave. I don’t want to leave him. Magic or no, I’d stay with him.
Tears fell silently down her cheeks. She knew she should get up. Put on clothes. Go back to her research. Her head dropped to her knees. Fatigue pulled at her, and her heart hurt like he’d ripped out part of her and taken it with him. Because he had.
The loss of her magic had been traumatic, but she’d adjusted. She’d learned she could live without it if she had to. This feeling was worse. The loss of Ryan, of seeing him every day, curling next to him on the couch, waking up to his warmth, that devastated her. She’d begun to believe that her future could be different than the one she’d always seen for herself. But Ryan didn’t want that future. Pain lodged in her chest and made it hard to breathe.
She’d thought he might want the same thing she did, but he valued the seal far more than her. As painful as that was to admit, she also knew it was because he wouldn’t risk the people around him. He would pay dearly to be rid of magic, of her. She understood his need to protect, but this wasn’t the way.
She wiped her cheeks and got up, but instead of getting dressed, she crawled into Ryan’s bed. The dreamwalk and the fight had drained her. The bond told her that Ryan was somewhere safe for now, even if that somewhere was away from her. She resolved that she’d rest and then she’d leave. Ryan wouldn’t return as long as she stayed; he’d made that clear. She’d take her ancient cell phone and venture into the shadows. They’d done enough talking and research, it was time for action.
Zee woke up alone in the apartment. She’d gotten used to the different feel when Ryan was home, and he obviously hadn’t returned. The memory of last night slammed into her as she noted his absence. He wasn’t coming back. Tears threatened again, but she’d already wasted enough time crying. She threw off the covers then paused in the middle of the room. The hoodie she still wore smelled like Ryan, but the previous night’s activities had left her sticky and sore. She needed a shower and clean clothes, but after, the hoodie would accompany her into the Wood. A memory and a warning to remember where his priorities were set.
Forty-five minutes later, she raided the pantry, dressed for a walk outside. Thick leggings, her sneakers, and two layers of shirts under the hoodie. There was a large tender spot inside of her that she avoided thinking about, but every once in a while, the bond with Ryan flared and the spot twinged. She could call Sera and have her remove the bond, but Zee wasn’t ready to sever the connection.
She’d taken the time to rebraid her hair, and she felt more like her former self than she had in weeks. Her leather armor would have been nice, but Zee imagined it had returned to her cottage in the Glade. Zee still didn’t understand why the Wood would change her clothes while exiling her. The armor would have been nice to have while traipsing through a shadow realm made by an elemental forest. The symbols inscribed into the leather gave her some magical protection, and Zee worried she’d need it.
She stilled while stuffing her pack with food. Magic imbued her leather armor. The Wood had kept the leather because it couldn’t counter the inert symbols. That magic couldn’t be sealed. The shadows appeared for people with some active magic in them, luring them in. She’d bet the purpose was to neutralize the magic.
Her people were all too stubborn to leave. Ryan had been right on that front. The Wood let them stay because it had sealed all their magic. Except for Chad. She tilted her head and stared at the box of granola bars in her hand, her mind far away. How had Chad avoided the same fate as everyone else? She knew from experience that they couldn’t stop the neutralization. The Wood vastly out-powered a handful of Fae.
She shook her head. It was frustrating that she couldn’t contact anyone else in the Glade. Lana was the only person whom she had enough of a connection with to make the dreamwalk work. Without being in physical contact with Ryan, she wouldn’t pull that much magic anyway. His reaction could be volatile, and he was already running scared. She didn’t need to give him another reason to fear.
The granola bars went into the pack along with her cell phone, a flashlight, a bottle of water, some oranges, and a package of gummy dinosaurs labeled in small, neat handwriting. She wanted to be prepared for what lay inside the shadows, but she’d reached the end of her limited options. The bond with Ryan should maintain across the distance, it had when he’d disappeared inside accidentally, so she’d be able to reach him if something went horribly wrong.
Her lips flattened together. Then again, if something went horribly wrong, she had no intention of encouraging him to run to her rescue. She could rescue herself, and he could stay safely in the human world exactly as he wanted it.
She left his apartment, but backtracked to grab the book he’d bought her and stuff it in the pack with her provisions. If she wasn’t going to return, she wanted to keep this reminder of her hopes for a happier future.
Despite being mid-morning on a Sunday, people bustled about from store to store like hummingbirds. Wrapped in brightly colored scarves and hats, they slowed down to window-shop as the cold turned their faces pink.
No one paid Zee any attention as she turned away from the center of town and strode down a side street that would lead her to the Wood. She walked the opposite direction from Jake and Sera’s house because she didn’t want to run the risk of either of them seeing her, or of Ryan being there. The bond indicated that he was in that direction, but she didn’t linger on the connection long enough for him to sense her or her intentions. He was more adept than he thought at using his magic and reading the bond. She didn’t want him to get any idea of what she was doing and follow her. Luckily, the Wood circled the town on three sides. Any of those three directions would get her where she needed to go.
A brisk wind blew through the bright, sunny day, and Zee could feel the rising power in the Earth under her. Yule had arrived, after all. Tonight marked the longest night, when the energy shifted from dormancy to growth. An influx of power through the tainted Wood would make things interesting. If she was right, she needed to find the root of the taint before that power flooded the Glade.
Zee stuffed her hands into her pockets and let the pack slap against her back as she walked. Her mind kept flitting back to Ryan, then jerking away again when the pain set in. Walking through his town made it hard not to think of him, especially surrounded by his scent. Harder not to reach for him. She had no intention of offering herself up as a sacrifice to an angry elemental forest, but the forest might have other ideas. The p
ossibility sobered her. She knew, even after their fight, maybe especially after, that Ryan would be by her side in a second. He understood the importance of calming the Wood, and he had a deep-seated need to protect her.
His lack of faith in her ability to protect herself stopped her from calling him.
Zee realized she’d clenched her hands into fists and forced them to relax. She was terrible at not thinking about him. A small car that reeked of sandalwood pulled up next to her on the road and honked. Zee stooped and peered into the window to find a bright green iguana staring back at her. She jumped back a step, then realized that the woman behind the iguana was waving her around the car to her open driver window.
With the window open, the sandalwood scent nearly overpowered her, but Zee schooled her face into a polite greeting. Janet, scarves dangling everywhere, smiled and pointed to the backseat.
“Need a ride?”
Zee glanced into the back of the car, expecting it to be full of marmots or something ridiculous, but it was perfectly clean. The wind gusted against her face, and she shivered hard. Stinking of incense was a small price to pay for a ride. “Yes. Thank you.”
Janet waited until she’d buckled her seat belt before putting the car back in drive. “Where do you need to go?”
“The woods at the edge of town.”
She squinted in the rearview mirror. “It’s a little cold to be hiking today, isn’t it?”
Zee stared out the window at the slowly passing scenery, but kept an eye on Janet. “Yes, but it had to be today.”
“I understand.” Janet nodded sagely. “The universe decides what it will, we must simply trust the timing.”
Flinging oneself into an unknown, potentially dangerous conclave of powers certainly required trust. Zee trusted herself, and she trusted that the Wood remained neutral at its core. Whatever insidious magic was at play could be countered if she could find the source. After that, maybe she’d let the universe decide.
Janet tapped the steering wheel in a quick rhythm, drawing Zee’s attention back to the eccentric woman. “What better time than now to start anew?” Maybe Janet did understand.
14
ZEE
Janet didn’t have to drive far to reach the end of town. The road ended at a dirt driveway leading to a rundown house with a boarded window. Zee thanked her and shouldered her pack, stepping off the hardened mud and into the wild growth that preceded the forest. Janet waved with her whole body as she turned the car around and drove away.
What a strange woman. She’d even rigged up a seatbelt for the iguana’s tank in the front seat. Zee shook her head. Strange, but kind. In town, the buildings had created a bit of a windbreak, but out past the clearing only the trees to shield her. Television, and living in a magical Glade where elemental magic controlled the climate, had led her to believe that Texas was temperate. Zee didn’t have gloves or a hat, so the cold wind became a problem. She’d pulled her hood over her hair, but the air zipped in and out of it with abandon.
Zee hoped that whatever the Wood did with other magic, it was in a temperate place. If she remembered correctly, the Wood started a few feet into the trees out here. No paths appeared, and the usual shadows lurked under the canopy of pine branches. As had happened last time, the Wood wasn’t responding to her.
The wind whipped her hood off again, and Zee wished she could use even a modicum of magic to counteract the December air. She picked her way carefully through the trees and the underbrush, grateful for the weak light filtering through the needle-covered branches. The snow that had fallen had already melted in the trees, or had never reached the ground. She wasn’t well-versed in snowfall, but she knew it melted into water, and mud would have made the trip much worse.
After several minutes, Zee came to a stop next to a small group of boulders. She should have been well into the Wood by now, but she didn’t sense any magic. The walking had helped a bit with the temperature, but she’d lost feeling in her nose. Second thoughts began to creep in. She knew she wasn’t wrong about the borders, but what about the rest of it? Maybe the Wood simply didn’t see any value in her anymore and had cut ties. She suspected Lana had done as much, and Ryan was well on his way to eliminating her from his life. What interest would a non-sentient elemental forest have in her?
She leaned against the boulder and took a swig of her water. Her hand brushed the book as she replaced the bottle, and her stomach tightened. Everyone of import to her had decided that she wasn’t worth their time. It was a rough lesson in guarding her heart, and she’d learned it too late.
Her magic had always been a valuable part of her, but she’d never realized how much other people valued her based on it. She couldn’t even do anything as simple as capturing the attention of the Wood. Ryan had succeeded with zero effort.
She sighed, faced with her answer. She needed to borrow his magic again to entice the shadows.
He’d notice. She’d hoped to complete this mission on her own and return to the Glade without seeing Ryan. He’d search her out there so she could fulfill her end of their bargain, but she’d have some time first. If he sensed her pull, he’d follow the magic. With the bond still connecting them, she couldn’t mask her location.
Zee didn’t want him in danger, but she also needed some space. Her wounds were raw, and having Ryan in her vicinity would make it that much harder to put their ill-fated relationship behind her. Zee tried drawing several sigils against the boulder, the trees around her, directly in the pine straw and dirt, but none of it had any effect. She needed magic. She needed Ryan.
Zee stood up straight and brutally quieted the voice. Ryan had made his choice clear, and she needed no one. His magic provided a means to an end. She wouldn’t be able to pull very much at this distance, but she had a feeling it would be enough.
Her eyes drifted closed as she followed the bond with her senses. It stretched out between them, shuttered and silent. Both of them were wrapped tight in their shields, unwilling to open to the other person. At the other end, she found Ryan’s dormant magic. Zee took special care to only take a tiny amount. A tendril of warmth snaked through her. She smiled for a moment at the familiar feel, and opened her eyes.
In front of her, purple shadows burst into existence. This close, they resembled dark roiling clouds more than shadows, but it didn’t particularly matter. A doorway was a doorway. She didn’t want to let go of Ryan’s magic in case they disappeared, but she could tell he’d taken notice of her meddling. If she moved fast, maybe she could finish her mission before he showed up. The bitter wind blew against her back, and Zee stepped forward through the entrance.
The sunlight disappeared completely from one moment to the next. Zee searched the flat black sky. No stars or clouds on this side. Her eyes adjusted quickly to the dim light, but when she examined the area, she couldn’t see any source for it. There were no shadows to mark where she’d entered, and she wondered what would happen if she released the magic she’d borrowed. She kept the idea as an unlikely backup plan for emergencies.
The shadows had deposited her in a clearing, and after a moment, she recognized where she was, the edge of the Fae clearing where Torix’s tree had stood. The tree, which Sera had destroyed along with everything else, had marked a nexus of power that helped shore up the barriers, and Zee had been there many times to renew their power. She’d been heading here when she’d gotten lost in the trods before this mess had started.
Zee walked slowly to the center and crouched down to brush needles off of the flat stone embedded in the ground. They’d never discussed it, but Sera’s battle with Torix had taken place on top of a font of power. Zee had always thought putting Torix there was an unnecessary risk, but she’s been born well after he’d been punished. Her finger traced the faint symbols etched into the stone and worn smooth by time.
A sharp edge bit into her skin, and Zee sucked in a breath. She shifted around and brushed more debris off of it. In the darkness, she hadn’t seen it immediately, but a
long crack with sharp, new edges stretched from one end to the other. Her finger throbbed, and a few drops of blood oozed out of the cut.
Her brows drew together. The stone was largely symbolic, but nothing should have been able to crack it as a marker of the Wood. Then again, nothing should have been able to bring down the barriers. The old magics were fluctuating, and the Fae would need to adapt. Zee wished for a moment that Ryan were there. The tiny bit of magic she’d claimed whispered across her skin and through her body, giving her a faint red glow. It wasn’t enough to manifest Ryan, but it wanted an outlet.
The air nearly crackled with power. Zee backed away from the stone and peered into the trees. A few feet from the clearing, they simply faded into darkness. The peak of Yule wasn’t far off, and from what she could tell with the cracked stone, something had interrupted the flow. Elemental magic was gathering in the Wood, and she stood in the nexus of a system with a hole in it.
As dire as the situation was, it didn’t explain why the Wood would be seeking out power and sealing it away. She’d barely finished her thought when to her surprise, a trod opened next to her in the trees. Zee rolled to the balls of her feet to move away, but hesitated. She could try to take the path herself and risk being trapped in the trods again or she could face whatever or whomever was going to emerge.
She didn’t want to risk a second chance at walking for all eternity with no destination, so she shifted back closer to the trees behind her. One of the pine trunks was almost big enough to mask her, so she slid behind it and waited.
It wasn’t entirely a surprise when Chad sauntered into the clearing, but she’d hoped her suspicions were wrong. He approached the stone and rubbed his hands together. Zee shook her head. He wasn’t even taking basic precautions. All signs pointed to him retaining his magic, but he hadn’t used it to sense around himself as he’d been taught. She scowled. Probably because he never thought about anyone but himself. She’d definitely be choosing a new lieutenant when this disaster ended.