by Daisy Allen
I press my tongue hard against her, covering her clit completely, grinding. Her breath comes short and fast now, and I know it’s coming, her coming. I press a thumb against the opening of her pussy, and she arches, wanting me to fill her up. I tease her, tracing the rim, but never quite plunging in.
“Please, Brad…please.”
“Please what, angel?”
“God, just…please.”
“Please you?”
“Fuck. Yes.”
And I do. I pull my thumb away and my mouth, pull myself up onto my knees, and thrust my cock deep into her pussy.
“OH MY GOD!” she screams. And I struggle to keep inside her.
I grab her hips and keep her anchored as my own hips start to piston back and forth, driving my cock deep, deep into her. I’m so close, but I can’t come until I feel her come on me.
Our groins meet with every thrust. I can feel my pelvic bone grind against her clit each time I drill into her.
“God, Emily. You…God, you drive me insane. I can’t get enough of you.”
Her hand comes up to cup her breasts, her fingers pinching her nipples, and I know she’s just a whisper away.
“Come for me, come on me, baby.”
“I’m so close.”
“I know, I know.”
Her legs find their favorite position, wrapped around my waist and I lean over her, bracing against the bed. I’ve never been so deep inside her, my cock grazing against those deliciously tight pussy walls.
I push her hand away and my mouth envelops her left nipple, my tongue flicking the hard little tip.
It’s all she needs.
“FUCK! God, I’m coming. God, oh fuck!” She thrashes under me, in that completely free, uninhibited way that she does. I stop thrusting, trying to hold back my own orgasm, wanting to cherish the way her pussy contracts and tremors around my cock.
My tongue doesn’t stop circling her nipple until her body starts to relax.
And then I start to make love to her again. My hips rock back and forth, back and forth, my cock throbbing, fucking her delicious, wet warm pussy until I can’t hold back any longer.
“Ohhhhh, Emily, I love you. Oh God. Ohhhh my fucking angel.”
Her eyes lock onto mine as my entire body jerks, emptying everything I have into her. My head falls even as I try to hold myself up, waiting for the last of my climax to ripple through my body. She turns her head and kisses my forehead.
I roll back onto the bed and she scoots over, laying her head on my chest. Her hand draws sweet nothings over my stomach, making me shiver. I’m spent. Body and soul.
“Where are we?” she asks me again.
“We’re in Northville.”
“Where we…”
“Yep, where we met for the very first time.”
“On the school trip.”
I nod again. On the school trip.
“Is that a coincidence?”
“What do you think?”
She’s quiet and I wonder if the revelation scares her or reassures her.
“Don’t you see? It’s always been you. Always has, and always will be. Eight years apart or forever, I was always going to belong to you. And you were always meant to come here.”
“And now I have?”
“I’m going to have my wicked way with you!”
I roll her over onto her back and dig my fingers into her sides, making her double over in laughter.
“No! I hate tickling!”
“Then why are you laughing?”
“Because I’m happy, you ballsacked buffoon!” She grabs at my wrists and tries to flip me. I help her and lie on my back, pulling her body on top of mine, enjoying the weight of her.
“We’re going to have to do something about that dirty mouth of yours,” I mutter as I nibble on the sweet skin of her neck.
“I have something in mind.”
She grins and slides down my body, her hand already working its way around the sheath of my hardening cock.
Dirty mouth or not, it certainly knows what it’s doing.
Chapter Thirty
Emily
There’s a beeping from the kitchen and the sound of ice falling in the machine.
It wakes me and then I realize it’s not the only foreign sound.
Seagulls, or some seafaring birds, are hungry and calling out their food orders. Others reply. I can’t help but giggle at my translation. “Get it yourself, Norm. I’m tired.”
The soft wish-wash sounds like waves crashing onto shore and I wonder how far away they are. I roll across the bed, and there’s no warm body to stop me. The dip in the mattress is cold and I wonder how long he’s been gone.
Pulling myself up onto my elbows, for the first time since we arrived last night I see sky. Sky and sea. The sun is just rising and the view out of the ceiling-to-floor window is divine. Literally divined by God.
The sky spreads out in front of me, a soft pink hue blending with light blue, blending right into the ocean, as if they were but one.
It’s so seamless it takes me a while to realize we’re on a cliff. I sit up higher, but I can’t quite see where land drops into the sea.
I scan the horizon, and see him. Sitting on a bench, staring out at the same marvel I am.
Picking up his shirt from the ground, I pull it around me, and then add the blanket for good measure.
The sliding door is still cracked and I push it open, shivering as the cold, winter morning air hits me. I wander over to the bench and stand behind it, leaning over him, sliding my arms down his chest and pressing a gentle kiss to his neck.
“Mornin’.”
“Hmm, mornin’ angel.”
“You’re going to have to stop calling me that or else I’ll start to think I am one.”
“One what?”
“An angel.”
“But you are.”
“Of mercy?”
“Hell no, you weren’t very merciful last night,” he whispers into my ear, then presses a kiss to my jaw.
“I didn’t hear you complaining.”
“Oh, but I wouldn’t. I like the little evil you have in you.”
I stand up straight and walk around the bench. He pulls me onto his lap, the blanket enveloping us both. Nuzzling against his neck, I wonder how I could become so addicted to his scent so quickly.
“Evil. Dirty. What happened to all the compliments?”
“Fine, you’re also nefarious and a total nymphet.”
“Don’t forget ‘bossy.’”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I giggle, stupidly content. We’re quiet as we watch the sun rise from its lazy perch on the horizon and up in the sky. I can’t remember the last time I watched the sunrise.
“Can we stay here forever?” I sigh.
“I didn’t have any plans of leaving.”
“Did you mean it…that you always meant to bring me here.?”
“Never meant anything more.”
“Bet you didn’t plan on there being a Ben though.”
“No, but it doesn’t change anything…except we might need to build a wall.”
“Really?”
“Well, yeah, I intend on devouring you on a regular basis. That’s not compatible with Ben sleeping in the same bed.”
“No, I mean…really, it doesn’t change anything?”
“What doesn’t change anything?”
“Me having Ben.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You really don’t, do you?”
“No. And now you’re making me feel dumb.”
“I mean, me having Ben, it doesn’t change how you feel? About me, about wanting to be with me?”
“You’re kidding me, right?” He pulls away and his eyes search mine.
“Kidding how?”
“Oh, God, now you’re the dumb one,” he says and I poke him hard in the stomach. “Ow! I just mean, that’s a silly question. You don’t know how I feel about Ben? Really?”
“I guess…�
�
“I love that little bugger like he was my own. I love him because he’s just like you. And if you weren’t his mother, I would love him just as much. I just wish he were mine.”
I don’t know what to say.
So I don’t sully the moment with words. I just curl up in his lap, the safest place in the world, and wish I never, ever have to leave.
***
“It’s your phone,” I say to Brad an hour later. We’ve both emerged from the joint shower, and I’m trying to find something in his closet that doesn’t scream “I left in the middle of the night in a nightie for a sex marathon.”
“Thanks, babe,” he says, walking past me, but not before landing a loud smack on my ass.
“Hey!”
“Shush, I’m on the phone, can’t you see?” he teases.
“Ittttt’s Brad!” he jokes into the phone.
His face immediately turns serious. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. What’s going on?”
His eyes flick to me, and I try not to panic. Unsuccessfully.
“What is it? Is Ben okay?” I whisper to him.
He nods and presses his fingers to his lips, quietening me, listening to the words coming at him a mile a minute over the phone.
“Okay, okay, we’ll be right there. Just…just don’t do anything and keep B—…just make sure everyone’s okay. An hour, tops.” He presses a button on the phone and looks up at me.
“Well?”
“Let’s …I’ll explain in the car.” He grabs my hand and pulls me into a hug.
I know better than to ask right now. I will when we’re on the road. I don’t know why. It’s not usually my way to not panic, but Brad seems calm, and if he’s there, whatever it is can’t be too bad.
***
It’s bad.
It’s…it’s my worst nightmare. The one I’ve been having ever since Ben was born. The one that’s been coming on strong these last few weeks.
In the car, Brad waits until we’re on the highway before he takes my hand and tells me. The guys woke up to a loud knocking on my bus door. Hailey knows better than to answer things like that, and waited until Jez and Sebastian came out to see who it was and what they wanted.
It was two policemen and they were asking after me. When they saw I wasn’t there, they asked if Ben was there. Carrie brought him out and they looked him over and asked a few questions—if he was okay, if he was in trouble, where was his mommy, did he know the people around him. They said Ben was pretty happy but he didn’t know where I had disappeared to overnight and that was a bit worrying. The police left a card and asked me to call when I got back.
“It was Silas,” I tell him, without a shadow of a doubt.
“What are you talking about?”
“Silas called them and made some bogus report, I’m sure of it.”
“You mean, about Ben? About you and Ben?”
“About me not taking care of Ben.”
“No. No, he wouldn’t, would he?”
“He threatened me the other day.
“He threatened you? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It was just yesterday.”
“What did he say?”
“It was after Ben went missing. He was in the tent with me, and he said… ugh, I don’t remember exactly, but he said that maybe it was time that things were going to change with him and Ben. He wants him, he wants to take him away, I’m sure of it. Oh my God, Brad, what if they take Ben away?” The panic comes on fast and strong.
“Shh, baby. Just try and stay calm. We don’t know what’s going on yet. Let’s just get you back and we’re going to get to the bottom of this.”
“I…can’t…I can’t lose him, Brad. I just can’t.”
“You’re not going to. Right now, it’s nothing to worry about, okay? We’ll be there soon.”
And I wish that believing is enough to make it true.
***
The police tell me nothing when I call them. Just that they had had a call and they thought they should check up on Ben. They said they saw nothing wrong and no formal report had been made. They wouldn’t tell me who had made the call, but I don’t need them to tell me. I already know. They did make a throwaway comment, that maybe I shouldn’t go off without leaving my son to worry about where I was.
I don’t bother telling them that right now I’m going to have trouble letting him out of my sight.
Once I’ve spoken to the police, we return to our buses. Brad insists that Ben and I join the guys on their bus, and I go for Ben’s sake. I know he’s confused about the police coming, and being around the band will help him feel safe and distract him from his thoughts.
I bring my laptop, ready to work on my next column, but I can’t concentrate on anything on the screen. I can’t focus.
How do I go from day to day not knowing what Silas has in store for me? Am I supposed to just sit and wait to see how things will play out? Let him lead this at his own schedule?
Or should I find out, once and for all, what he really wants?
I take out my phone and bring up his name.
I know it was you. Don’t even try to deny it. What do you want?
I press Send. And sit. And wait.
***
“Emily, how nice to hear from you.” His voice over the phone makes me slide my hands over my arms, brushing away imaginary creepy crawlies.
“Don’t give me that bullshit. I know it was you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Sending the police to check up on Ben, that was low. Even for you, Silas.”
“I don’t know what you mean. Must be a great big misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding, my ass!”
“Oh no, sweetheart. I’ve always read your ass just as you’d intended.”
“You better stop with all this, Silas. I don’t know what you’re planning, but it’s got to stop.”
“Look. I don’t know what you’re talking about, okay? But anyway, since you called. Have you given any more thought to coming to work for my band?”
His question completely blindsides me and I don’t even have a response. Why on earth would I have thought about it? I’d made it clear that I had no interest in coming to write for him whatsoever at the Snow Festival.
“Can I take that silence as something promising?”
“You can take it as me trying to adopt the motto of ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.’”
“My my, I don’t remember you being so feisty. Maybe traveling with a rock band has had a bad effect on you.”
“I can only imagine what would happen to my potty mouth if I were traveling with you.”
“Look, relax. I didn’t call to fight. I called to offer the job to you again. Have you been reading the write-ups about the Snow Festival? Hardly anyone mentioned us. The ones who did, though, loved our set, but we need more exposure. We don’t just want you to write up silly little columns for us; we want you to head our PR team.”
“I don’t know the first thing about PR, Silas.” Not that it matters.
“You know how to put us in a good light, get our name out there. I’m seeing how you did it for the Rock Chamber Boys. Now you can do it for us, from the ground up.”
“They were already Grammy-winning artists, Silas. I know I don’t need to remind you.” I can’t help rubbing in.
“And this time next year, so will we. If what I have in mind goes as I planned.”
“Does that include Ben?”
“Back to that? You know, you’re so short-minded. The more successful I am, the better it is for him. Have you ever thought of that? And anyway, maybe you should remember that if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t even have a Ben. So don’t be so ungrateful. I gave you the one person you love most in the world.”
I shouldn’t have brought Ben up. Just the thought of Silas having anything to do with him makes my heart twist. “Are you threatening me again?”
“I never
did, my dear. Just a friendly reminder is all. Anyway, gotta go. Have a think again about what I’m offering. A good, long, smart think.”
He hangs up the phone and I listen to the beeping tone until it finally turns off.
I push myself up off the bed and creep into Ben’s room. He’s sound asleep, curled up around his Iron Man toy, his broken arm stretched out in front of him. I pull the blankets he’s kicked off up over him and sit there watching him. Watching my sweet little monkey. Thinking back on all the joy he’s brought me, all the love, all the laughter. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.
I never thought that that would be tested, though. I just knew that when it came down to it, the only thing that would matter would be what was best for him.
He stirs as I press a kiss to his forehead. He pulls his toy in closer, then falls back into his slumber, free from worry. Safe. Loved.
And I vow to protect him. Always.
Chapter Thirty-One
Brad
When I was eight years old, my father took me to small country fair. There were rides and food stalls and carnival games and all sorts of knickknacks that you could imagine. He gave me thirty dollars and told me I could spend it on anything I wanted. I’d never held so much money in my hand before. I bought a second-hand handheld game console. I’d never had one, our family not having much money at that time, and the very act of buying it was so exciting to me. I spent the rest of the day grasping it tight in my little hand. It was one of the happiest memories of my life.
Later that night though, sitting at the dining room table, my mom served us peanut butter and jelly for the third time that week. I complained about why we couldn’t have something else to eat, like steak or fish. I remember them sharing a look, and then my father gently telling me that steak was very expensive and we didn’t have enough money to eat steak…that day. But we would soon.
I remember looking down at my toy and wondering again out loud why he’d given me the money to buy it. My parents shared another look, this time with smiles on their faces. And my father said that when I had children, I’d find out that seeing my child smile for a second is worth a lifetime of steak dinners.
I might not have a child now, but I have the woman I’ve loved for as long as I’ve known her and her son, who I’ll love for the rest of my life.