by Len Webster
Kyle let out a soft laugh. “Had you both told me this almost four years ago, I’d have told you both that I’m not. But I am. I’m happy, so please don’t think I’m not. I love Angie. Old feelings just came back for a minute.”
Alex released Evan’s hand and stepped closer to Kyle. “So you’re okay with me dating Evan?”
“So long as your happy, Alexi. Then, yeah, I’m okay.”
Her heart squeezed in her chest. “And you and Evan are going to be okay? Us being together won’t change your relationship with him?”
He shook his head. “He’s my brother, Alexi. I’m happy he has you.”
“Thank you,” Alex said before she got on her toes and pressed a kiss on his cheek.
“So how are you two not all over each other now?” Kyle asked, the curiosity thick in his voice.
Alex turned and stared at her boyfriend who only shook his head and said, “We can’t go public for a while.”
“Why not?”
She took a step toward Evan and pressed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry we can’t.”
“It’s okay, AJ,” Evan said.
“It’s not.” Then she turned around and faced the confusion on Kyle’s face. “I just don’t want the pressure of everyone’s expectations to destroy us. If that makes sense.”
Kyle nodded, his brown eyes dilating. “I understand. I do.”
“So we didn’t ruin your birthday?” Alex asked in a small voice.
He laughed. “Not at all. I can actually stop worrying about you two now. For over a year, I worried about you, Evan. Your loneliness and your heartbreak scared me. But I can see how truly happy you are. You both have given me the best birthday. If you both will excuse me, I have to go tell my girlfriend how in love with her I am.”
When Kyle left them to find Angie, Evan grabbed her hand and led her out of the tent and back toward her house. He opened the side door, stepped inside, and then he led her up the stairs and into her bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them.
In the darkness of her bedroom, he whispered, “I love you,” as he cupped her face.
“Even though we have to hide?”
Evan pressed his lips to her forehead, and Alex was just able to see his face from the lights breaking through the parted curtains. “The rest of the world can wait to know how much I love you.”
“Evan,” she breathed, completely in awe of his declaration.
“I’m serious, Alexandra. The rest of the world can wait. Just you and me.”
“Okay,” she agreed. “Lock the door.”
She felt him wince. “Are you sure?”
Alex nodded. “Yes. It’s okay. My parents are busy being hosts. Make love to me. Please.”
Evan left her, and she heard the click of her door locking. He returned to her, sweeping her into his arms before he set her on her bed.
Clothes were removed.
Touches intimately enhanced by the darkness.
Moans deafened her ears.
Her heart pounded in her chest as her boyfriend pressed at her entrance.
“I love you, Alexandra,” Evan whispered as he slowly entered her.
In the dark, with the rest of the world outside her bedroom window blissfully unaware, Evan Gilmore made love to her.
And somewhere between his thrusts and her moans, her tears fell.
Because he was right.
The rest of the world would have to wait because they were too busy falling further in love with each other.
They were safe.
Their love stayed pure.
They owed the rest of the world nothing.
And owed each other everything.
90 Th
thorium
ALEX
Now
“Thank you,” Alex said once she gave her cab driver the fare. She smiled and then pulled on the handle, opening the car door and stepping out. Once she was out, she closed the door behind her and pulled her coat tighter, trying to keep the cold winter air from touching her skin, but it was no use. She shivered as the wind assaulted her, causing her hair to fly wildly.
Sighing, she made her way up the path. She climbed the steps, reached the front door, and turned the handle, knowing that it would be unlocked. But her home wasn’t empty. She had family waiting for her. She hadn’t told them that her ex-boyfriend was in town. All she said was that she was going to the city to run some errands. The mention of Landon would have brought up questions and caused more trouble than she needed before she saw him and ended all ties.
As she sat and ate breakfast with him, she knew that friendship could be possible, but she didn’t want it. She wasn’t sure if Landon was capable of it. So she had said goodbye with no more promises. He promised to keep in touch and made sure she was okay as he held the cab door for her. Landon had kissed her cheek, and she had smiled before she slipped into the cab and he shut the door. Alex didn’t look back as the cab pulled away from the curb. She refused to give him an ounce of hope.
As she pushed the door open, she yelled out, “I’m home!”
She stepped inside her house and closed the door behind her. Alex made her way over to the hallway table and set her purse down. After untangling her scarf and unbuttoning her coat, she spun around and hung both on a hook. Once she toed off her ankle boots, she headed down the hall, realizing just how quiet her house was. Her parents should be home, along with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. They weren’t all going home for a few days, so her house shouldn’t be quiet.
When Alex entered the living room, she halted at the sight of Evan sitting on the couch staring at his hands. She couldn’t see his face. It had been a day since she walked out of his home, revealing to him that he was the love of her life. They had left things unresolved between them.
“Evan,” she said in a wary voice, stepping farther into the living room.
“How could you?” he said, his rough voice had her stopping.
“What?”
Evan turned his head and glared at her. The rage in his eyes had her wincing. He got up from the couch and turned to face her. “I don’t understand you, AJ. I don’t understand a lot of things you do. I don’t understand why you would do this to me.”
Alex shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Evan.”
He glanced down at his phone in his hand. “Landon Carmichael spotted with college sweetheart in Boston.” Then he swiped at the screen. “Little Miss Red Sox and Hottie Hot Spur photographed reigniting college romance.”
“Evan,” she said, hating the pain in his voice and on his face.
Her heart ached as he continued to read articles.
Articles that had just gone live.
She had just come home from seeing Landon.
There would be pictures.
Witnesses.
And Evan had found it.
“Breaking news: Landon Carmichael spotted telling college sweetheart he loves her. NBA’s hottest bachelor seems to be off the market,” Evan read out loud.
“Stop it,” Alex begged.
“No,” he growled. “Landon Carmichael reported to be making Celtic move to be with girlfriend.”
“Evan,” she cried, clutching her chest. “Stop! It’s not like that.”
Evan lifted his chin. “Not like what, AJ? Not like a picture says a thousand words?” He turned his phone, showing her the screen. It was a picture of Landon holding her hand with a smile on his face. To her horror, there was a smile on her face, too.
Her heart broke.
Her stomach churned.
She understood his rage.
She was disgusted in herself.
Alex’s eyes stung as tears succumbed her. “Evan, it’s not what you think.”
“Did you plan this? Did you plan to see him?
”
She clenched her eyes shut, nodding her head. Alex opened her eyes, and the tears quickly returned. “I did.”
“When? When did you plan all of this?” he demanded.
“After you and I got home from the airport. He messaged me … I needed to see him.”
Evan stumbled back. “Needed to see him?” Then he composed himself, closing the distance. His heartbroken glare killing her inside. “Have you been sleeping with him?”
A small gasp escaped her. “No. I’ve only been with you since college. It’s only been you.”
Evan shook his head. “That’s a goddamn lie, Alexandra. I know this because it has never only been just me. You chose him. I asked you, and you chose him!”
“I didn’t choose him. I met up with him because—”
“Because you want it with him, don’t you? You want the famous NBA player. I gave up a career in the Major League to follow you to Switzerland. I gave up what he couldn’t for you. I loved you! You want a family with him, then go! Be with him. But he is not raising my—”
Alex stepped forward and slapped him across the face, Evan immediately cupping his cheek as tears ran down her face. “You, Evan Gilmore, you’re the love of my life! I’ve only wanted you. My entire life, it has been you.”
“Yet you go see your ex-boyfriend. Yeah, you treat the love of your life, the father of your child, some way!”
“I wanted that part of my life over!” she screamed, finally losing it.
“Yeah?” Evan wondered. “Well, this part is, too.”
No.
A tortured whimper escaped her. “You don’t want to …?” She couldn’t finish her question.
Sorrow flashed in his brown eyes. “I don’t know what I want right now. I’m angry with you, AJ. I’m angry that these pictures and titles exist. I am so angry with you that I can’t even look at you.”
Alex blinked her tears away as her other hand covered her stomach, protecting their baby from verbal harm. “So you in my life, that’s over?”
Her chest ached.
It was a question that would end it all with one answer.
Evan didn’t answer right away.
“Because if that’s true, I … I can’t follow you to LA.”
“I know.” Evan glanced away. “I’m leaving for LA tonight. I have to go before I start my new job. I came over to tell you.”
He didn’t say he’d stay.
That he wanted to be part of their baby’s life even if they were truly over.
Alex reached up and brushed her tears from her cheeks. “Okay.”
Evan stepped around her and made his way out of the living room. It felt over even though she didn’t want it to be. That dream of them together, raising their child was a stupid fantasy that broke her heart, but she couldn’t let her pain affect their son or daughter. So Alex spun around, hating that he was walking away and believed the lies in papers and not her.
“Evan!” she called out. He stopped for a moment before he turned and faced her. The heartbreak in his eyes illuminated. “I have my twelve-week scan in three weeks. If you’re back in Massachusetts, I’d like you to be at the scan with me. Only if you’re home.” Alex clenched her hands into fists, fighting back her tears. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t understand, but I had to see him. I had to end his hope for us. I made a mistake by going to dinner with him in Oxford. I was trying to fix it. I was trying to … It doesn’t matter. Like you said, this part of my life with you is … over.”
He said nothing.
Instead, Evan nodded, spun around, and walked out of her house and more than likely out of her life. Alex stood there in shock with tears falling down her cheeks. She was stupid for thinking that her seeing Landon would stay a secret. A sob broke free from her chest. She had crossed a bridge but burned the land surrounding her.
She lost Evan.
Her baby lost its father.
And most of all, she lost her heart through her own foolishness.
Mum: Alexandra, if you have any issues with Seb, please call me. I’m so sorry to just leave you with him so I can deal with this emergency at the restaurant.
Alex: It’s okay, Mum. Seb and I have got this. Plus, now that everyone’s gone back home, we can spend some time together.
Satisfied with her reply to her mother, Alex set her phone on the table and took in her baby brother lying in his port-a-crib. It had been four days since Evan left for Los Angeles, and she hadn’t heard from him. She had hoped maybe he’d call and tell her that he realized he was being unreasonable for not listening to her side of the story, but he never did.
It felt as if she couldn’t stop crying when she was alone. She kept replaying Evan’s words. Evan’s anguish. She couldn’t stop the pain that sliced every part of her heart. She kept thinking of her baby’s future, and Alex hated that she said she wouldn’t follow him to LA. She regretted it the moment it left her lips.
She couldn’t take it back.
As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t.
He had walked out of her house before she could really come to terms with what was happening around her. She had no one else to blame besides herself. There were so many things Alex should have done differently, and how she confronted Landon Carmichael was at the top of her list.
“You’re so perfect, Seb,” Alex whispered as she watched his arms move.
Just as she was about to lean over the crib and pick her little brother up, nausea swept through her. Alex stood straight and slapped a palm over her mouth. She swallowed hard, hoping it was a false alarm. She hadn’t had morning sickness for the past two days. Alex knew it wouldn’t last long, but she had hoped it wouldn’t continue.
She was officially over the nine-week mark. And according to her many pregnancy books, she’d be able to find out the gender of her baby in another two months. That was one of her milestones she was looking forward to. The thought of having to experience it alone caused a strain in her chest. Evan had been in California for four days and didn’t look to be returning. A part of her knew she might have to do it alone. Alex knew that she could do it if Evan walked away, and it was beginning to look as if she might have to.
Her brother crying had Alex shaking her head, concentrating on him rather than her churning stomach. Alex reached down and picked him up. She held him to her chest and slowly rocked him, hoping he’d fall asleep. She had no idea why he was screaming because she had just changed and fed him moments ago.
Alex glanced around the living room, trying to find his blue elephant. It was a small toy that played a soft lullaby that helped him sleep. But she couldn’t see where her father had put it before he left for work this morning.
She groaned as her head suddenly felt heavy with irritating thumps. Gently rocking her brother, he cried louder. Alex began to panic, not knowing what her brother wanted. She had barely spent any time with him and didn’t understand his cries. It made her realize how little she knew about babies. Tears of frustrations came and left as she felt her stomach flip.
“Oh, God,” she said as she carefully set her brother back in his crib. She needed to make it to the bathroom and pronto. But as she spun around to rush to the bathroom, Alex felt the contents of her stomach rise, and she fell to her knees, throwing up on the floor.
Alex clutched her stomach, hoping that it was it.
But as she tried to stand, the dizziness clouded her vision and her arms gave out. Alex fell cheek first into her own vomit. The thumps in her head boomed, causing her to wince in pain. Seb’s scream pitched higher, and the dizziness made it hard for her to open her eyes. Somewhere in the distance, she heard a door open and then footsteps.
Alex pressed her palms to the floor, trying to push herself up. “Seb, I’m sorry,” she said in a weak voice. “I’m so sorry. I’m trying.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks.
She couldn’t do it.
There was no way she could be a good mother if she couldn’t even take care of her two-month-old sibling.
“AJ?” She could have sworn she heard Evan’s voice. Then hands gripped her arms and slowly lifted her. “Jesus, AJ.”
Alex pried her eyes open to find Evan cradling her to his chest, her vomit ruining his shirt. “Evan?” she mumbled out before her eyes fell closed once again.
She felt herself being carried. Then she was laid down on the couch, and she slowly drifted to sleep. The crying became a soft lull as the pressure in her head eased.
It felt like a lifetime later when she felt arms around her, and she mumbled, “Evan?” She opened her eyes to see him. If she didn’t feel so nauseous, she’d feel the relief in her chest bloom. “Wh-what? You’re supposed to be in LA.”
His lips curved into a small, bittersweet smile that was wrapped with so much sorrow that she wanted to close her eyes to be free of it. But she couldn’t look away—even in her groggy, disgusting state.
“I came home because I realized what a mistake I made. I’m here to take care of the woman carrying my child. The woman I let down because I believed the stupid articles. I didn’t even let you speak. I let my jealousy and hurt take over. I’m so sorry, AJ.”
“I’m sorry, too,” she whispered as she snuggled into his chest, allowing her heavy eyelids to fall shut with his strong arms wrapped around her.
The soft lullaby she heard had Alex slowly opening her eyes and cringing at the bright room she found herself in. She blinked hard several times before she discovered she was staring at her bedroom door. She had no recollection of how she ended up in bed. The last thing she remembered was Seb crying and being on the living room floor covered in her own vomit. Her morning sickness had hit an all-time worst. It had never been so bad that she had passed out.
Seb … Shit!
She jolted up, realizing that she must have left him alone. Her head instantly throbbed, but she didn’t care. Ready to pull the blanket from her, she noticed Evan sitting on her window seat. She froze, seeing her baby brother in one arm and Evan reading her pregnancy book as he softly rocked him. Next to her ex-boyfriend was Seb’s blue elephant, playing the lullaby that filled her bedroom.