Cat refused to get out of the car. “No. I won’t leave you. I go where you go.”
“Cat, I don’t want you here.”
“I won’t leave you.”
“Damn it, Cat! Get your ass in the fucking driver’s seat and leave before I beat the shit out of you!”
Cat felt as though she’d been slapped across the face. Never before had Billie used such force and language with her, even during their fight over the photographs a few weeks earlier. Overwhelmed by hurt and anger, she got out of the car and stomped around to the other side. She slid into the driver’s seat and slammed the door. The squeal of tires and tread marks on the pavement marked her departure.
She drove through the streets, not wanting to go home and let the kids see her in this state. She knew they’d be all right with Jen, so she drove around in circles. Finally, she stopped at the park. Almost by instinct, she found herself sitting under the tree they always used for family picnics. They called it their healing tree. It was under this very tree she sat, nine months pregnant with Skylar, when her water broke.
In her mind’s eye, she could see Seth and Tara climbing on the monkey bars while Skylar played in the sandbox. She and Billie would relax under the tree, with her leaning against the trunk and Billie lying with her head in her lap. They would share whatever they happened to be eating, grapes, chips, crackers; suck the crumbs off each other’s fingers; and silently promise paradise to each other later that evening.
Cat stifled a sob as she lowered herself to lie in the grass. Soon, she fell into a light sleep.
Several hours later, a cool breeze awakened her. She glanced at her watch and saw it was almost dinnertime. She sat up, a little disoriented. It took a few moments for her to remember why she was there, and her heart broke all over again. Then, she surprised herself. Instead of crying, she began to get angry. Damn you, Billie Charland. You had no right to treat me like that, and you’re not going to get away with it.
She climbed to her feet and ran back to the car where she called home on her cell phone.
“Hello?” a tiny voice said.
“Sky? It’s Mama.”
“Hi, Mama, when are you and Mom coming home?”
So Billie’s not home yet. “Sweetie, can you please tell Jen Mama needs to talk to her?” She heard Skylar yell for Jen as she waited.
“Cat?” Jen said.
“Yes. How are the kids?”
“The kids are fine. Where are you?”
“It’s a long story. Remind me to tell you about it sometime. Has Billie called?”
“She’s not with you?”
“No, she isn’t. We, ah… we… Let’s just say I’ve got a few things to settle with her once I get my hands on her.”
“Whoa, girl. Remember the last time you flew off the handle without listening first.”
“Jen, she told me to get my ass in the fucking car before she beat the shit out of me. Now, don’t you think I have a reason to be angry with her?”
“Ouch,” Jen said. “Boy, when she blows it, she blows it big time, doesn’t she?”
“Big isn’t the word for it. I’m not sure how late we’ll be—”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take the kids home with me for the night. That’ll give you some fighting room without little ears around listening. Okay?”
“You know, it seems they sleep more often at your house than in their own beds. I love you. You know that, don’t you?”
“Ditto, little sister, ditto. Now go find your lady and get this mess straightened out.”
“I’ll try. And thanks again. We owe you.”
“And don’t you forget it,” Jen said. “See you later, sweetie.”
* * *
Billie stood in the darkness, her body pressed against the wall near the front door as she listened to the rhythm of her own breathing. Her nerves were strained as she poised to react. Her knuckles were white from the death-grip she held on the rolling pin she had found in the kitchen. After what seemed like an eternity, she heard a car door slam, followed by the distinctive whoosh of the front door as it cleared its threshold. Billie struggled to control her breathing as she waited for her visitor to step inside. As the shadow passed before her, she raised her weapon and brought it down, hitting her target with as much force as she could muster within the short distance she had. Her victim fell to the floor with a thud.
She reached down and rolled the body over in the darkness. This isn’t a man. She rose to her feet and reached for the table lamp. There, lying unconscious on the floor, was Cat. The contents of Billie’s stomach threatened to mutiny as she realized what she had done. She fell to her knees next to Cat and examined the bump she’d just put on her head.
“Damn you, Cat. Why can’t you ever do what you’re told? Why does everything have to be an argument with you? Now look at what you made me do.”
Billie fell back to sit on the floor and rested her forearms on her knees.
“Well, well, well, it appears someone did me a favor here,” a voice said. “That was intended for me, wasn’t it?”
Billie spun around and looked Roger McBride in the face. “You bastard!” she screamed and scrambled to her feet. All the rage, anger, and hurt she had locked away through three long years of abuse came to the surface as she unleashed her fury on McBride. She caught him off guard with her sudden attack and was able to place a roundhouse kick to his head, sending him across the room. He didn’t stand a chance. She rained blow after blow upon his body, nonstop, until he was reduced to a pile of quivering flesh. When she saw he wasn’t getting back up after the last kick, she straddled his body and started on his face with her fists. He was unconscious after the third punch, but Billie continued to hit him.
As she pulled her fist back for another blow, her arm was grabbed. She whipped her head around, ready to attack whoever was restraining her, until she realized it was Cat.
Cat was terrified by the hatred and bloodlust she saw in Billie’s eyes. She knew in that instant Billie was capable of murdering this man. She also knew she had to stop her, no matter what. If Billie crossed that line, there would be no going back, no way to recover what they had together, and no way for them to return to their peaceful and loving life.
Billie snapped out of her trance and regained her composure. She climbed off McBride and allowed Cat to take her into her arms, holding her as she trembled. Cat led her to the couch and sat her down before she picked up the phone and made an anonymous call to the police. After placing the phone back into its cradle, she took Billie’s hand and led her out of the house and into the car. Moments later, they pulled into the parking lot at the park. Cat helped Billie out of the car and led her to the healing tree where they sat and leaned against the trunk. She lowered Billie’s head into her lap and began to stroke her long hair. Not a word was spoken between them. Soon, Billie relaxed and slept, while Cat stood guard over the treasure that was her heart.
Chapter 14
Billie opened her eyes and peered into Cat’s face. She smiled as Cat brushed the bangs from her forehead. She felt Cat’s fingers linger over the slight scar that disappeared into her hairline.
She took a deep breath and sighed. It was hard to believe it had only been two short weeks since she lay in this same position, under this same tree in the park, her head in Cat’s lap. Only then, it was late at night. Her hands were covered with the blood of a madman, and her heart was filled with anger and rage. Cat saved her life that night, for if she had carried out her plan, McBride would be dead and the darkness would have overtaken her forever.
Billie reached up and touched Cat’s face. “I love you,” she said.
“I know.”
“I can’t stop thinking about that night, about how I almost—”
Cat covered Billie’s lips with two fingers. “Shhh. No more. I don’t want any more apologies. You didn’t know it was me. Pure and simple.”
Billie kissed the fingers covering her lips and took pleasure in the moan th
at escaped from Cat’s lips.
She took Cat’s hand from her mouth and placed it over her heart. “This is yours. I give it to you freely. Please don’t ever give it back.”
“I’ll protect it with my life.”
“You saved me, Cat. I almost killed him, you know.”
“But you didn’t. McBride is in jail where he belongs, and with the evidence the police have against him, he’ll stay there for the rest of his life. Peggy’s murder will be avenged. Everything seems to have worked itself out. Travis is healthy again and living with his grandparents, and we’re here, together and intact, even after all we’ve been through.”
“Things wouldn’t have worked out this well if not for you. You saved me from destroying my soul. I’ll never be able to repay that debt, but I promise to spend the rest of my life trying.”
“It was a matter of self preservation, my love,” Cat said. “You’re the other half of my soul. If I let you destroy yours, then I’d be lost as well.”
“I hope, with your help, I can keep my dark side in check. I’m so afraid one day I won’t be able to control it, and I’ll end up hurting you, hurting us.”
“Never. As Dr. Connor said, as long as we have each other, there’s no darkness we can’t control. I’m glad you decided to continue with therapy. I’ll be there with you, every step of the way. We’ll get through this. I promise.”
Billie rose to her elbows and reached up to pull Cat down into a searing kiss.
“Promise me Paradise,” Cat said.
“I promise.” Billie pulled her down for another kiss.
“Hey! You two gonna do that all day? The ice cream truck is here. Can we have some?”
Billie broke the kiss. Seth stood in front of them, grinning ear to ear.
“Well?” He flung his hands out to the side to emphasize his point. Tara and Skylar were jumping up and down on each side of him chanting, “Ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream.”
Billie laughed, then lunged at Seth and pulled him down to the ground in a wrestling hold.
The girls jumped on top of them.
“Hey, no fair,” Seth said.
Billie lowered her face close to Seth’s. “I’ll make you a deal. You let me win at miniature golf next time, and I’ll buy you an ice cream.” She chuckled at the stubborn set to his jaw.
By this time, Cat had made her way around the pile of bodies and was lying facedown on the grass so her head was within inches of Seth’s and Billie’s. She brushed the corn-silk-colored hair from his forehead. “Well, sport, ice cream does sound good.”
The girls, who were both sitting on top of Billie, who was on top of Seth, chimed in. “Come on, Seth, give. We want ice cream.”
Seth stood his ground. “Maybe I’ve changed my mind. Maybe I don’t want ice cream.”
“Mo-omm,” both of the girls said together.
Billie twisted around. “Don’t be such ‘Whine-erellas.’ If your brother doesn’t want ice cream, then I guess we’ll just have to tickle him.” Billie formed her hands into claws and dove into his belly for the full torture treatment. Cat rolled over and laughed as Billie’s sudden movements caused both girls to tumble off her back and right onto her.
Moments later, after laughing himself into hiccups, Seth gave up and agreed to get ice cream. Billie climbed to her feet and lent him a hand.
“Go save us a place in line,” she said, and he and his sisters scampered off toward the ice cream truck.
Billie offered her hand to Cat, who was still on the ground, wiping tears of laughter from her face. She pulled Cat to her feet and into her embrace.
Cat reached up and placed her open palm on the side of Billie’s face. “Thank you,” she said.
“For what?”
“For keeping your promise.”
“My promise?” Billie smiled and draped an arm across Cat’s shoulders, pulling her close.
Cat slipped her arm around Billie’s waist as they strolled toward the ice cream truck to join the kids. “Yes,” she said, sweeping her hand in an arc, taking in everything, including their family. “Just like you promised. You delivered Paradise.”
Part II:
While I Was Gone
Chapter 15
Cat rolled over in her sleep and instantly missed the warm body she was accustomed to cuddling against. The time on the clock flashed 2:14 a.m. A few more moments passed before she was fully awake. She looked to her right and realized what had awakened her. Billie wasn’t there.
The room was pitch black. Not even the moon illuminated the sky this night. She squinted, trying to make out shapes in the darkness. “Billie?”
“Over here, by the window.”
Cat wiped the sleep from her eyes with one hand while supporting her weight with the other.
“Are you all right?”
“I’ll live. Couldn’t sleep.”
“You’ll live?” Concerned, Cat rose from the bed and approached Billie at the window. She wrapped herself around Billie from behind and said into her shoulder blades, “I don’t like the sound of that. Are you sure you’re all right?”
Billie pulled Cat into a warm embrace. “Another headache.”
Cat could barely make out Billie’s face in the darkness. She cupped her cheek with one palm. “Did you make that appointment with your doctor?”
“I was going to, but I was distracted by the McBride case. Now that Doc and Mom are home from Florida, I plan to set it up with him. I’ve been feeling okay lately, so it slipped my mind.”
“Well, I don’t think we should let this go on any longer. When Brian shot you, he made you susceptible to headaches that could be life threatening. I’ll talk to Daddy in the morning about scheduling a series of CAT scans and MRIs.”
“Do you really think the gunshot wound could be causing it? That injury was what—three years ago? Wouldn’t the danger have passed by now?”
“Maybe, but your headaches have been occurring closer together and severe enough to keep you up at night. Those aren’t normal headaches. It’s even possible the damage resulting from that gunshot could have caused you to blow up a few weeks ago over those photographs. I’m sorry to dredge up painful memories, but this is important. You acted out of character that day, and I wonder if damage from the shooting might have caused it.”
“You overreacted to those pictures, Cat. My behavior that day was an attempt to vindicate myself.”
“I don’t agree. In my wildest imagination, I would never believe you’d be violent with me. I feel horrible, and I’ll never forgive myself for not trusting you, but you were definitely not yourself. Brain damage from the shooting might explain your behavior that day.”
“Stop making excuses for my behavior over those few days, Cat. I was wrong. It’s just that simple. I don’t want to put the blame on anyone or anything else.”
“I know. All I’m saying is, it’s possible. Look, I can’t live the rest of my life wondering when it will happen again. I love you, and I trust you. Believe me, I do, but if brain damage caused the outburst, then how do we know it won’t happen again, or that you’d be able to control it the next time?”
“I can’t argue with you on this one. You’re certainly in a better position to understand this than I am. I appreciate you setting things up with Doc.”
“You’re welcome,” Cat said. “Let me get you a couple of painkillers, then it’s back to bed with you.” She led Billie to the bed and pushed her down to sit on the edge of it.
Cat collected the meds from the cabinet in the bathroom and brought them to Billie, along with a small glass of water. Billie swallowed the pills, handed the cup back to her, and allowed Cat to tuck her into bed. Cat climbed over Billie’s prone form and snuggled under the covers with Billie wrapped in her arms.
Before long, Cat felt violent tremors rattle Billie’s body. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
“Cat, I’m so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself for what I put you through those few days. I hurt you, and I hurt the c
hildren—maybe not physically, but it was still hurtful. I was out of control. Promise me, Cat. Promise me you’ll leave if it happens again. Promise you’ll take the children and get as far away from me as you can, to a safe place. Promise me.”
“Billie, that’s why we need to schedule the exams, so it doesn’t happen again.”
“That’s assuming the gunshot wound caused the outburst. It might not have. Promise me, Cat.”
“All right, all right, I promise. But it’s a promise I don’t ever intend to keep. You got that?”
“Got it.”
Soft whimpering nudged Cat awake for the second time that night. She rolled over and saw Billie leaning against the headboard, crying. She maneuvered herself into a seated position and reached an arm around Billie’s shoulder to pull her head down into her lap. In slow, even circles, she massaged Billie’s temples until the crying stopped and she was sleeping. Cat sat there for a long time brushing Billie’s silky hair with her hand, fearing the worst for her, but hoping for the best. Finally exhausted, she lay down, pulled Billie’s head onto her shoulder, and continued to stroke her hair.
Before long, she, too, fell sound asleep.
Chapter 16
Cat woke the next morning to find Billie still in bed. Normally, Billie was up, showered, and ready for work by the time Cat rolled out of bed, all of this after taking her usual five-mile morning run. Cat reached over Billie, who was facing away from her, and brushed long dark locks out of her face. Expecting the caress to wake her, she was surprised when there was no reaction. She felt Billie’s forehead and found it cool, but Billie didn’t wake up. Cat frowned and shook her shoulder. “Billie. Billie, honey, time to get up. You’ll be late for work.” Still, there was no response.
Cat became frantic. She shook harder, and when there was still no reaction, she rolled Billie over. Billie’s arm flopped onto the bed, limp, as she settled onto her back. Cat took Billie’s chin in her hand and turned her face toward her. She gently slapped the side of her cheek.
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