“Come on, Billie. Wake up, love, come on.” She fought the medically trained part of her brain that told her heart something it didn’t want to hear.
Billie’s face remained calm, eyes closed, seemingly in a deep sleep.
“Oh God.” Cat scrambled off the bed to fetch her medical bag from the desk in the corner.
She rushed back to check Billie’s vital signs. Her pulse and blood pressure were stable, but her breathing was shallow, her pupils were nonreactive, and her reflexes were all but nonexistent.
Tears coursed down Cat’s face as she reached for the phone to call her father, thanking God her parents had come home from Florida a week earlier. “Daddy?” she said when he picked up the phone. “Daddy, it’s Cat. I need help. Billie’s sick.” Cat’s voice cracked through the tears.
“Caitlain, honey, calm down and tell me what’s wrong.”
Cat tried hard to detach herself from the situation. “She’s been having a lot of headaches lately. She had a severe one last night, and now I can’t wake her up. Her pupils are unresponsive and she has no reflexes.”
“She isn’t responding to outside stimuli at all?”
“Nothing. I’ve tried shaking her and slapping her face. There’s no reaction.”
“I’ll call an ambulance and meet you at the hospital.”
Cat hung up the phone and dialed Jen’s number. Five minutes later, Jen was standing in Cat’s bedroom, holding her as she cried.
“Cat, sweetie, it’ll be okay, you’ll see,” Jen said. “Pull yourself together. I hear the ambulance coming. I’ll go downstairs and meet them, okay?”
“Okay.” Cat pulled her jeans and sweatshirt on over her nightshirt as the ambulance crew carried the stretcher up the stairs.
Jen entered the bedroom behind the ambulance crew and stood off to the side as they loaded Billie onto the stretcher. Cat hovered over their every move.
As the EMTs strapped Billie down, Cat faced Jen. Jen placed two fingers on Cat’s lips. “Don’t worry about the kids. I’ll be here for them when they wake up. You just concentrate on Billie.”
“I… I…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. You don’t know what you’d do without me… yada, yada, yada. You’re welcome, and I love you too. Now go on and take care of your lady.” Jen pushed Cat along behind the stretcher. “And don’t forget to call me as soon as you know something.”
* * *
Cat paced back and forth in the waiting area of the emergency room. With each passing moment, her fears escalated out of control. When Doc exited the examination room, she was frantic. She ran to him and grabbed his arms.
“Daddy?”
“Kitten, come with me. We need to talk.”
Cat’s hands flew to her mouth. “Oh God, no.”
“Cat, please. She’s alive, but in serious condition. I’ve ordered CAT scans and an MRI. Depending on what they show, you may have some decisions to make. Come on. Let’s go to my office while they take her down to Radiology.”
Cat followed her father through the maze of hallways and into his office. She closed the door, leaned against it, and sank to the floor. She covered her face with her hands and wept.
Doc sat on the edge of his desk. He crossed his arms and ankles and watched Cat cry herself out. After a few moments, he helped her to her feet and wrapped her in his arms.
“Daddy, I can’t lose her. I need her. The kids need her.”
Doc led her to the couch and sat her down. “Kitten, I don’t think we’ll lose her, but my preliminary examination suggests a blockage of sorts in her brain, around the area of the gunshot wound. The blockage, most likely scar tissue, is causing leakage from the blood vessels. As you know, this leakage causes the brain to swell, and because the capacity of the skull is limited, the swelling will cause pressure to rise and the brain to compress. If the pressure increases enough, it will affect the flow of blood to her brain, ultimately preventing the brain cells from eliminating toxins… and it could kill her if not corrected. This type of injury almost always requires surgery to remove the blockage and repair the leaky blood vessels.”
Doc paused while Cat took in the full extent of Billie’s condition. Continuing, he said, “As her spouse, you need to decide whether or not to allow this surgery. Without it, she has about a ten percent chance it will repair itself, with a high probability of severe brain damage. On the other hand, if we proceed…” He hesitated.
“Daddy? If you proceed, what? Tell me.”
Doc sighed. “With this type of surgery, there might be some serious consequences.”
“What kind of consequences?”
“I’m not inclined to say right now. I’d rather not go there until we know more about what we’re dealing with. The CAT scans and MRI will be more conclusive. We’ll talk more when the results come in, okay?”
“No, I need to know. You’re asking me to make a life-and-death decision for her. How can I do that without knowing the risks? Now tell me, what kind of consequences?”
“Cat…”
Cat jumped to her feet. “Damn it. We’re talking about Billie here. My wife. My heart. The one person I can’t live without. If she dies, I die. Understand? Please, tell me. Please.”
Doc lowered his chin to his chest for a moment then looked at Cat. “She could end up with permanent brain damage and be handicapped.”
Cat just stood there staring at him.
“What should we do, kitten?”
“Save her, Daddy. Do what you have to. Just save her,” Cat said before crumpling into a heap on the couch.
* * *
Cat sat in her father’s office for what seemed like an eternity. Over and over, she agonized about Billie’s plight. Deep down, she knew Billie wouldn’t want to live as an invalid. She wouldn’t want to be a burden to her and the children, but Cat couldn’t bring herself to let her die.
She was still in his office when Doc came back two hours later. He sat beside her on the couch and rubbed her back. “The test results are back. Come with me, I have something to show you.”
Cat followed him to the Radiology lab. She sat as he displayed Billie’s CAT scan and MRI results on the computer monitor. Cat stared at the images, not wanting to see what was so obvious to her trained eye.
“Do you see it?” Doc asked.
Tears filled Cat’s eyes as she nodded. “Daddy, I can’t let her die.”
“I know, baby, I know.” He sat next to her and wrapped one arm around her. Cat laid her head on his shoulder.
“Now that you’ve seen the scans, have the risks changed, Daddy?”
Doc rose to his feet and walked closer to the monitor. “We’re dealing with a blockage caused by this scar tissue right here.” He pointed to a spot near the front of Billie’s brain. “As I said before, if we do nothing, there’s a huge chance the blockage will cause enough swelling to starve the brain of much-needed blood supply, and death will result. The wound occurred in the frontal lobe. That part of the brain deals with planning, organizing, problem-solving, attention, personality, behavior, and emotions. It also contains the pre-motor and motor areas that affect movement. The temporal lobe, which is located just below it, is the next high-risk area that might be affected. This area controls memory. If we operate, there’s a chance of paralysis, seizures, sensory disorders, and personality shifts. If we don’t operate, she will, in all probability, die.”
Cat stared at her hands folded in her lap as she listened to her father. Tears flowed down her cheeks. The decision of life over death was not in question, but the burden of what she might be condemning Billie to for the rest of her life was overwhelming.
Doc pulled her into his embrace. “We need a decision, kitten. The sooner we operate, the sooner we’ll know how much we can do for her.”
“Operate. I’d rather live with her hate than her death.”
“Are you sure?”
Cat nodded. “I’m sure.”
Chapter 17
“Art?” Cat said as he p
icked up the phone. “This is Cat.”
“Hi, Cat. I was wondering when one of you would call. Has Billie decided to play hooky from work today?”
“Billie’s in the hospital.”
Cat’s declaration was met by silence on the other end of the line.
“Art?”
“What’s wrong?”
“She’s in a lot of trouble, Art. I couldn’t wake her up this morning. She had one of her headaches last night. Daddy has scheduled her for brain surgery tomorrow morning.”
“Brain surgery? Jesus Christ. I’m on my way.”
“No. There’s nothing you can do here. She’s unconscious and unresponsive. There’s no use in both of us just sitting around, waiting.”
“At least let me keep you company.”
“I’m fine. Just keep her in your thoughts, okay? I’ll keep you posted as things change.”
“I want you to call me if you need anything. Promise me.”
“I promise. Thanks for being such a good friend. I’ll talk to you later.”
* * *
Billie was scheduled for surgery the next morning. The rest of the afternoon was spent running her through a series of tests to gauge her responsiveness and to use the CAT scans, along with other methods, to attempt to pinpoint the exact area of the brain affected by the damaged tissue. Cat spent this time pacing in the corridor outside Billie’s room or standing in the picture window in the solarium at the end of the hall, which is where Jen found her as the dinner hour approached.
Cat stood with her forehead pressed against the window, taking in the city bathed in sunset. At any other time, the orange hue blanketing everything would have been breathtaking. Tonight, Cat was oblivious to everything but the passing time. She was so absorbed in her own inner turmoil, she almost didn’t feel Jen’s arms circle her from behind and pull her into a warm embrace.
Jen pressed her cheek up against the side of Cat’s face. “Hi,” she said.
Cat pivoted around and rested her head on Jen’s shoulder. Her arms went around Jen’s waist. “Hi,” she whispered back as she snuggled in close.
After long moments, Jen stepped back. “How are things going?”
“I don’t know. She’s been in Radiology for most of the afternoon. Daddy’s with her.”
“Are you hungry?”
Cat shook her head. Suddenly, she realized Jen wasn’t at home with the kids. “Jen, the kids?”
“Your mom came to relieve me. She took them home with her, and before you ask, I sat them down and told them Billie was sick. They’re worried, especially Seth. You might want to call them a little later.”
“Thanks, I will.” She spotted her father coming down the hallway. She pulled out of Jen’s embrace and ran to him, with Jen following close behind.
Cat stopped just short of him. “Daddy?”
Doc took her arm and led her back to the solarium. “Have a seat.”
Cat sat next to her father and reached for his hand while Jen chose a chair close by.
“The tests indicate her comatose state is due more to the body’s natural defense mechanisms than to existing brain damage.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?” Cat asked.
“Well, it’s better than I’d hoped for. It means she has a fighting chance of making it through the surgery with minimal effects. If she has any impairment afterward, it will be the result of the surgery, rather than anything caused by traumatic brain injury. After all, she’s been functioning all right since the shooting.”
Cat looked at Jen, then back at her father. “Daddy, I’m not so sure that’s true.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s been having these headaches. They’re so bad I need to massage her temples to ease the pressure, and she has to sleep for a few hours to get rid of them.”
“Is that all?” Doc asked.
“No.” She felt Jen’s hand slip into her own in a show of support. Cat squeezed her hand. “You said traumatic brain injury can cause behavioral changes, right?”
“Yes. Depression and anxiety are the most common. About fifty percent of TBI victims suffer from it. Mood swings, irritability, and crying are also symptoms, as well as volatile emotions. According to the research, brain injury can cause a change in the way people express their emotions. Traumatic brain injury often causes a person to lose their inhibitions. For example, a person could spend a lifetime suppressing personality traits toward violent or abusive behavior only to have TBI provide an outlet for the behavior to surface, through the loss of inhibitions.” Doc paused. “Has Billie suffered from any of those since the shooting?”
“Several weeks ago, Billie, well, she blew up. She lost control.”
“Did she hurt you or the children?”
“No, she didn’t. She had enough strength and control not to let that happen.”
Doc rose to his feet and paced, while running his hand through his hair. He stopped in front of her and looked her straight in the face. “Are you telling me you and the children are at risk for domestic abuse?”
“She didn’t hurt us. She couldn’t.”
“Caitlain, it’s possible TBI caused Billie’s outburst. The next time, she might not be able to control herself. Maybe you should consider moving in with your mother and me when she’s released from the hospital, at least until we’re sure.”
“No. I won’t leave her. She needs me now more than ever. She also needs the children. They’re her life. Take them away from her, and she’ll die.”
“Cat—”
“How about a compromise? At the first sign of agitated behavior, I’ll move in with you, okay? But I won’t leave her. Not now.”
Doc sighed. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I do, Daddy. Believe me, I do.”
Chapter 18
“Hi, Seth, this is Mama,” Cat said into the phone.
“Ma, how’s Mom?”
“She’s in her room resting right now.”
“Is she going to die?”
Cat covered her mouth to stifle a sob and breathed deeply to control her emotions. “No, honey, I don’t think so. Grandpa thinks she’ll be okay, but she’s going to be sick for a while.” She tried to keep her voice from breaking.
“Are you going to stay at the hospital with her?”
“I’m going to stay here for as long as she needs me, sweetie. I want you and your sisters to behave for Grandma, okay?”
“We will, Ma, and tell Mom I miss her.”
“You bet. Now let me talk to your sisters, okay?”
Ten minutes later, Cat hung up the phone and walked back to Billie’s room. She paused in the doorway, leaned her shoulder and head against the frame, and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She seems so peaceful.
Cat pushed herself away from the door and sat in the chair next to Billie’s bed. She lifted Billie’s hand to her mouth and kissed the back of it before holding it close to her heart. The blank expression on Billie’s face caused her to break down into heart-wrenching sobs as she rested her head beside Billie on the bed.
“Billie, how did you ever live through this with Seth? I’m out of my mind with grief. Please come back to me. I need you. Your babies need you.”
Several minutes passed before the sobbing calmed and sleep claimed her.
* * *
Cat was awakened by a sharp knock to her head. She bolted into a sitting position, disoriented. Suddenly she realized where she was, and what caused her rude awakening. Billie was thrashing around on the bed, her arms flailing. Cat was caught in the crossfire.
“Billie. Billie, honey, you’re dreaming. Come on, love, wake up.”
Cat sat on the edge of the bed and attempted to pin Billie’s arms to the pillow on both sides of her head. “Its okay, Billie. Shhh, it’s all right. Calm down. You’re safe. I’ve got you, shhh.” Billie relaxed, but continued to rock her head side to side.
“I know it hurts, sweetheart. Here, let me help you.” Cat shifted her weigh
t so she was leaning against the headboard. She reached around Billie’s head and massaged her temples until she was still. She slid her body down sideways until she was lying across the top of Billie’s pillows, her face just a hair’s breadth away from Billie’s head. She kissed her, closed her eyes, and let sleep take her away.
“Caitlain. Caitlain, wake up.”
Cat lifted her head. “What?” The first thing she noticed was Billie’s head right in front of her. She stroked the silky dark hair and kissed her forehead.
The sound of someone clearing their throat drew her attention.
She straightened herself into a sitting position. “Daddy?”
“How did you end up there?” he asked.
“She was thrashing around. She was in pain. I had to help her.”
“That was very foolish. We don’t know what she’s capable of.”
“I’ve already told you, she won’t hurt me.”
“In her right mind, she wouldn’t, but we don’t know what her state of mind is right now. For your own safety, stay away from her when she’s like that.”
“I can’t. I won’t. She needed me. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
Doc raised his eyebrows. “More like your mother everyday,” he muttered under his breath.
Cat smiled at his comment.
“They’ll be here soon to take her to surgery.”
Cat’s expression darkened as the realization of what Billie would be going through settled in. “I want to be there,” she said.
“No. Absolutely not. Don’t argue with me on this, do you understand? That OR is no place for you to be during this procedure.”
“But—”
Doc grabbed her arms. “No. Now don’t ask again.”
Their argument was interrupted by the orderlies who appeared at the door to transfer Billie to a gurney for her trip to the OR.
Unchained Memories Page 11