The Wolf's Heart

by Rain Oxford

  “I hope this works,” I said. I opened the door, but it was still blocked. I also levitated myself to check the invisible entrance. Nothing. We were both trapped. “Should we use the portal?” Merlin nodded. I tried to activate the portal. Unfortunately, when my energy spilled into it, nothing happened. “What did I do wrong?”

  He sighed. “Nothing, young sorcerer. You did a good job on the portal. The problem lies in the laws of magic. On your world, rules are engraved in you since birth. For the rest of us, magic is a complex system of tricks, traps, and balances.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “For a wizard of Caldaca, the only rule is that he can only do wizardry. The rest of us are not limited by that rule, but we are limited by many others. The primary rule is that magic must be balanced. All others are secondary, yet they must be followed nonetheless.”

  “I still don’t understand.”

  “Well, I have several days to teach it to you.”

  “Several days?”

  “Before we die of dehydration.”

  “You’ll figure something out before then. Maybe the scroll will tell us something.” I pulled the piece of paper out of my pocket and showed it to him. “Can you read it?”

  “No. It is the dragon’s language, but that is not complete enough to decipher.”

  “Maybe we have to figure out what comes next. Maybe that is how we get out of here.”

  “Did you grab that crystal?”

  “Yes,” I said, pulling it out. We both looked through it, but saw nothing odd. “Can you have a vision with it like you could in the crystal caves?”

  “In my true body, yes. That does not require an object of magic, but crystals, gems, and mirrors are exceptional conductors of magic.”

  He paused, waiting for me to tell him I didn’t understand. I did, though. He had explained it multiple times and I wrote it in my grimoire.

  “I sense no magic in this, however. It appears to be nothing more than a paperweight.” He frowned at it for a moment. It was his idea frown, which was confusing the first few times I saw it. “I do sense magic in the scroll, though. Perhaps the crystal is not meant to wield magic but to perceive it.”

  “What?”

  “Hold the crystal over the scroll and look at the scroll through it.” I laid the scroll on the table and did as he said. To my shock, words appeared across the scroll that weren’t there before. Unlike with the dragon’s language, the Siren translated it.

  Whatever possession we gain by our sword cannot be sure or lasting,

  but the love gained by kindness and moderation is certain and durable.

  “Does that mean anything to you?”

  “Yes. I know where to go. Now we just have to get out of here.”

  * * *

  We were glancing through some of the books, making the most of our time, when I suddenly felt very heavy. “What’s going on?” I asked, trying hard not to collapse to my knees.

  “I believe Gmork is moving the painting,” he answered, his voice strained.

  “Do you trust him not to kill us?” I asked.

  He didn’t respond for a moment, but when he did, he simply said, “Yes.”

  Although the sensation stopped, a window didn’t appear in the wall. However, I tried the door again, and this time, it opened. Relieved, we returned to the living room, where Gmork was standing in front of the painting.

  “You disappeared the instant I took the painting out of the sunlight.”

  “That must have broken the connection between the painting and the room,” Merlin said.

  The scroll piece wasn’t in the image anymore. “I’m glad you didn’t kill us,” I said.

  “I could have,” Gmork said. “I was not sure that taking the painting inside would save you.”

  “But you didn’t toss the painting into the river or bury it.”

  “I still need your help to save Nimue.”

  I was expecting a little more emotion. He seemed cold, like he would have killed us if it wasn’t more of a bother than saving us. Or I just couldn’t read his emotion like I could Merlin’s. “We know where to go. Or, at least Merlin does.”

  “Where?”

  “You can come with us, but I do not trust you enough to give you that information,” Merlin told him. “I am on the verge of leaving you here until we get all pieces of the scroll. In fact, we could leave you here until we get the heart.”

  “Absolutely not,” Gmork growled. “You are considering leaving me here and saving Nimue yourself.”

  “Unlike you, I am not vindictive. Saving Nimue is most important.”

  “I thought keeping the heart out of Erica’s hands was,” I said.

  “That’s why we have to come up with a plan to stop her from getting it once we save Nimue,” Gmork said.

  “As long as he loves Nimue more than he hates you, I think Gmork should go with us,” I suggested.

  Merlin considered me for a moment before nodding. “We need to go back in time to visit my childhood home.”

  We returned to the magic room and I drew a portal from Merlin’s mind.

  Chapter 11

  We appeared in a village. The small houses were not fancy, but they were well-maintained. There was a wide dirt road leading west and east, a field to the south, and a forest to the north. Although it looked no different than any village on Caldaca, it was special because it was where Merlin was born. “Can we visit your mountain?” I asked.

  Merlin shook his head. “We have discussed this, young sorcerer. In the mountain, there is a young version of myself. I have to avoid seeing my younger self at all costs.”

  “Your mother is alive? Here?” Gmork asked. “We can save her.”

  “Under no circumstance,” Merlin argued. “I would love nothing more, but I saw her death. If we save her or even warn her, we could cause a paradox.”

  “Theoretically,” Gmork said.

  We were drawing a bit of a crowd. The villagers were all wearing worn, thin dirty clothes in shades of brown and tan. It was still a little strange to me that none of them had magic. “Should we leave?”

  “No. We have to find the piece of scroll.”

  “Should I make us invisible?”

  At that point, three men approached us on horses. Unlike the villagers, they were wearing fancy uniforms of leather and dark green silk. The horses stomped their hooves with nervousness over Merlin and Gmork. They were smart to be afraid.

  “I might have been a little too specific,” Merlin said. “We appear to have arrived immediately after Dantur took me to Cennuth… when the soldiers were looking for wizards. We need to run.”

  “They are not going to attack us,” Gmork said. “I could easily tear them in half.”

  Merlin stepped in front of one of the guards and growled. The guard, in turn, aimed a sword at Merlin. “Hand over your wolves, wizard, and we will not have to kill them. They will be useful in battle.”

  “How would I hand a wolf to you?” I asked. “I can’t even pick up Mer… the little one. Gmork here is bigger than a bear and I bet he weighs more than a ship.”

  “Excuse me?” Gmork asked indignantly.

  “The wolf can talk?” one of the soldiers shouted. His horse reared up, but he held on and soothed it with a few pats to the neck.

  “It’s witchcraft,” another accused.

  “Start running,” Merlin said in my mind. “I will hold them back.”

  “I can handle them.”

  “These are not like the honor-bound warriors of your world, young sorcerer. They will kill you without hesitation.”

  “No, they’re not from my world, but that means they don’t know what I’m capable of.” I aimed my staff at the soldier. Instead of firing, however, I waited for Merlin’s advice.

  After a moment, he said, “Defensive spells only for the moment.”

  Make us invisible, I thought to the staff. As I imagined it, magic flowed out of the staff and into Merlin, Gmork, and me. We turned
invisible. The soldiers were shocked and had to fight their horses to stop them from bolting. In fact, one threw his riders and took off. The others clearly wanted to follow.

  “While they are distracted, we need to go south,” Merlin said.

  “I thought we needed the scroll.”

  “Safety is most important.”

  “Since when were you concerned about safety?” Gmork asked.

  “Since I was trapped in a cave for more than a hundred years.”

  “Maybe we should go,” I said, both to stop the argument and because the soldiers had their horses mostly under control.

  “Drop the invisibility over me. You two go south. I’ll draw them east and lose them,” Gmork said quietly.

  “Are you sure you can do that?”

  “I know I can.”

  I dropped the spell and Merlin and I got out of the way as Gmork took off running east. The soldiers raced after him. “Now we can find the scroll,” Merlin said.

  “I thought we were going to hide.”

  “Gmork provided a distraction, which we should take advantage of.”

  I didn’t like the idea of leaving Gmork to deal with the soldiers, but I figured Merlin would have done something if he didn’t think Gmork was capable. I followed Merlin to a particular house. It didn’t look any different than the others. Merlin didn’t enter. His expression was unusually blank, which felt cold. I could always tell what he was feeling.

  “This is Dantur’s house?”

  He nodded.

  I opened the door for him. “Do you want me to look for the scroll on my own?”

  He shook his head, but still hesitated before slowly stepping inside.

  “No. It has been so many years since I have been here, yet everything is…” He studied the unmade bed. “Dantur cared about me more than my mother did. He took me to Cennuth to save me. That was the last time I ever saw him. I wish I had told him what he meant to me. I wish I had thanked him for his lessons and kindness.”

  “I’m sure he knew,” I said.

  “I never told Caedmon or Brynjar, either. I made many mistakes before I was trapped in the cave.”

  “But that’s what childhood is for. Everyone makes mistakes and does things they’ll regret for the rest of their lives. You’re wise because you’ve learned from your mistakes. You teach others not to make the same mistakes as you did.”

  He finally entered the rest of the way, I dropped the invisibility spell, and we got to work searching for the scroll. It wasn’t that large of a house and it didn’t take long before I was convinced there was no scroll. Although I found a journal, Merlin refused to let me read it, saying that it was a breach of privacy. I argued that finding the scroll was more important, but he wouldn’t budge on the matter.

  A loud commotion drew our attention outside. Assuming it was Gmork, I replaced the invisibility spell and we went outside. Merlin froze the instant he saw what was happening. The soldiers were surrounding four men. One of the men had a sword and was doing his best to defend the other three.

  “That is Dantur,” Merlin said. “This must be when he returned from the mountain.”

  “Are we going to save him?”

  “I wish we could.” Merlin went back inside Dantur’s house, unable to watch as they defeated the blacksmith.

  Although Merlin was a wizard and wolf, I imagined Dantur would have taught Merlin swordsmanship. I imagined Merlin would fight just as valiantly. However, there were seven against one because only Dantur was fighting, so he didn’t stand a chance. He didn’t have magic. They soon dragged the four of them away, leaving the remaining town members distraught and hopeless.

  The next day, young Merlin would return to find that Dantur was gone and his mother wasn’t willing to leave with him. Merlin would sacrifice his own happiness so that he didn’t hurt others with a paradox. I knew how far he was willing to go because we had done this kind of thing before.

  I was willing to go quite far to protect Merlin, though, and I knew this would tear him apart inside. He was my friend; I wouldn’t let this happen to him. I went inside and dropped my spell. “Merlin, I created the potion that changed you and that’s why you didn’t turn into a mindless monster as Gmork had planned, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “So I was supposed to go back in time. But if I hadn’t, something else would have happened to cause it.”

  “Theoretically. Why?”

  “I know Young Merlin returns here to find out Dantur was taken. Well, Dantur was just taken, so that’s going to happen. Young Merlin never found out what happened to Dantur afterwards, right?”

  “Right.” There was hope in his voice because he knew where I was going.

  “Theoretically (whatever that means) if Dantur was meant to die here, we couldn’t save him even if we tried. However, it could be that we were meant to be here and save him.”

  “We would have to warn him never to return to this village or see me again. That would be imperative. If I ever run into him before this point…”

  “Yes, I know. A paradox will kill everyone. We have to try.”

  “If we do, we must take precautions. First of all, I will stay in wolf form so he will not recognize me. Second, we have to wait until Young Merlin finds him missing. Even in wolf form, I cannot risk running into my younger self, and we cannot let Dantur return here before I returned to Cennuth.”

  “Fine. We’ll do whatever we have to do to be safe, but how will we find him if we don’t follow him now?”

  “I can find him. In the meantime, we will stay in his home and wait.”

  “Shouldn’t we help Gmork?”

  “No, I am sure he is fine. Running is good for his cardiovascular health.”

  “His what?”

  “His empty, shriveled, blackened hunk of dead tissue that he once called a heart.”

  “You’re not bitter at all.”

  Without responding, he got on the bed and pretended to nap. Trying to see things from his perspective, I imagined if I had a girlfriend I loved as much as Merlin loved Nimue. For some reason, only Kalyn came to mind. Then I imagined Gmork trying to steal her away, but that didn’t bother me, because I knew Kalyn would have no problem fending him off.

  However, she had been under a love spell when I first met her, and the idea of her being around Sven still bothered me. It helped that she hated him more than I did. Merlin was betrayed by his friend, though, and that was much worse.

  Fortunately, Dantur had some bread in his house, because I needed to eat to replenish my energy. It was a creepy and depressing night, but I was hopeful that the next day would help Merlin forgive himself for something that was never his fault in the first place. The soldiers took three more groups of villagers throughout the day.

  * * *

  I was absolutely exhausted, but I still couldn’t sleep. My head hurt from it. I tried to think of other things to no avail. Finally, well into the night, Merlin climbed up onto the bed to sleep next to me. Next to Gmork, he looked small, but he was actually a huge wolf.

  “Fear is not something to be ashamed of. Everyone feels it. To conquer it makes you wise and strong. Once you face your fear, it will no longer have control over you. That is not to say you will never feel it, but you will survive it. Now, close your eyes and I will tell you about the time I accidentally turned Caedmon’s hair pink.”

  I closed my eyes but ran my hand through Merlin’s fur. As long as I could move my hand, I wasn’t afraid. Finally, I fell asleep.

  * * *

  The next day, Young Merlin arrived and Now Merlin was vigilant to stay out of sight. He wouldn’t even look at his younger self. It was a surprisingly quick visit before Young Merlin rushed out of his mother’s house with determination. I knew that look in his eyes.

  He was the same as me when I ran away from home to prove myself. Our situations were so different, but we weren’t.

  Once Young Merlin was gone, Now Merlin grabbed a simple brown hat from the hook. “Take
out the potion from your bag with the blue bottle and red lid.”

  Once I found the right one, he instructed me to pour it over the hat. I did, and frowned when nothing happened. “Are you sure this is right?”

  “I have done this spell many times.”

  I was starting to lose hope when the hat suddenly tried to fly out of my hand. Fortunately, I managed to hold on. I didn’t bother making us invisible this time. We left and followed the hat on the path in the direction Dantur had been taken.

  * * *

  We travelled for most of the day with only a few breaks. Although we did cross fields and small villages, the majority of the trip was through the forest. I had to sit on the hat every time we rested. When we finally stopped to eat, Merlin hunted dinner for us. He also brought some berries for me. “What if we don’t catch up to them in time?”

  “We will. The king’s soldiers are not like warriors; they move slowly and cannot resist pleasures along the way, such as hot meals, warm beds, and full taverns. They will get into fights they know they can win and throw their weight around for a laugh. They will stop at night, and that is when we can catch up to them.”

  “Is it safe to travel at night here?”

  “With me as a wolf, yes. My sense of smell and hearing are better than a man’s.” I ate quickly, but when I was ready to go, he hesitated. “Do you need sleep?”

  “No. I’m fine. Let’s save Dantur.”

  He nodded and we headed off again.

  * * *

  It was almost morning when we arrived at a large town. “Do you know where we are?” I asked.

  “Dantur and I sold weapons here. I cannot remember much, though, as it was not a particularly interesting community.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to lead this one?”

  “We have been calling it a curse all along, but perhaps that is my fault. It might be that the greatest downfall of me becoming a wolf is my failure to use it to my advantage.”