When she stands to greet the person approaching from behind me, I quickly start to stand myself only to feel the blood run out of my face when I hear my sister’s squeal. Lori and Madeline are a blur as they hug each other wildly. Jackson is behind Madeline, and I make eye contact with him and he just shrugs. I can’t believe they know each other. When they finally separate from their hug, Madeline looks at me and then back at Lori. “How do you know my brother?” she asks before the answer clearly registers in her head. “No. Oh no you don’t, Ben. Not Lori.”
Madeline is shaking her head now and holding on to Lori’s hand. Lori looks at me and asks, “Ben Stone? Your last name is Stone?” I watch as she looks back at Madeline for confirmation, but Madeline is glaring at me over Lori’s shoulder.
“Ben, she is not the wedding girl . . . tell me she is not the wedding girl!” I can’t say that, obviously, so I place my hand on Lori’s back in an effort to rein control of this situation back in. Madeline’s eyes follow my hand and the anger flares even more when she watches me touch her friend in such an intimate way.
“Obviously, the two of you know each other. Mind filling me in?” I look at Jackson and he puts his hands up in mock surrender. Madeline smiles for the first time since seeing me.
“Lori and I had psychology together. Dr. Banks was so boring I was grateful I had Lori to brighten up class . . . well, when we actually went and didn’t just sneak off to grab candy bars in the cafeteria and sit on the patio people watching.” Lori is smiling now, too, and I can see she and my sister are truly friends. I have no idea how Madeline is going to handle this little run-in, and I start to get nervous when her angry gaze is back on me so quickly I missed the morph from smile to furious devil woman.
“Madeline . . .” I begin.
“Don’t you Madeline me! This is not happening, Ben.” She looks back at Jackson, who chuckles lightly and then waves to the waitress skirting around our little confrontation. He flags her over and asks her to set our table up for two more, and I roll my eyes when she complies.
“Lori, I’ve told you about my brothers. Now you’ve met one. Let’s have a seat so you can be told what you’re getting into and so Ben can feel like a complete asshole if he even thinks about treating you like one of his girls.” At this statement Lori turns around and tries to hide a small smile with a horribly failing angry face. I squint at her and pull her chair out. I’m not going to like this one bit.
Madeline takes her jacket off and Jackson pulls her chair out for her. Her butt has barely touched the chair and she’s right back talking to Lori. Jackson looks over at me apologetically but I know there isn’t shit he can do to save me right now, so I just offer him the same shrug he gave me earlier. This should be both interesting and torturous.
“So, you’ve apparently met my brother, Ben. He’s the oldest and most driven of all of us. When he figures out what he wants he goes for it at all costs. At. All. Costs. Lori, don’t think he’s butterflies and rainbows, he’s more grizzly bear and thunderstorms for women.”
“Thanks, Madeline,” I say bitingly, but follow it up with a smile, which she sarcastically returns.
I expect to see Lori freaking out or trying to figure out a way to bail, but instead she raises her water to me and with a wink says, “Here’s to taming the beast.” Jackson almost chokes on his laughter and I follow right behind. I can’t believe she isn’t being scared off by the clear warning my sister has just laid out for her. “I got your message loud and clear, Madeline. You know, I’m not really the butterflies and rainbows type of girl anyway. No hard feelings if this goes badly.”
I think for a minute that Madeline is going to be pissed her friend has just dismissed all of her concerns, but instead Madeline grins and nods in Lori’s direction. In her next breath she asks what we ordered and then flags the waitress down so she and Jackson can order as well. Apparently, conversation is over but our new guests are not leaving.
Madeline and Jackson are so in love it’s almost nauseating. I was so angry when she started dating him but now I can see they were clearly meant to be. I don’t believe in soul mates, but they definitely have a chemistry that’s undeniable. In the beginning I had trouble warming up to Jackson. He was an outsider to our circle, and I didn’t trust his intentions with my sister. I’m fiercely protective of those I love. Running the family business makes me handle my life with a lot of precision, and Madeline is a part of that puzzle. When Jackson came around it felt like I might lose some control of how the world would see our family and our empire. A few months ago, I hated seeing it, hated how he seems to hang on her every word, but now I’m sitting here wondering what it would be like to be in a relationship that brings such happiness. That thought makes me pull at my collar as a sudden rush of panic shoots through me.
Dinner goes smoother than I ever would’ve expected as we fall into a comfortable rhythm. From the outside I know we must look like two couples enjoying a night out together. At various moments throughout dinner Lori has placed her hand on mine or run her fingers along my arm. As much of a chump as it makes me, I love every minute her hands are on me. I just want her near me.
Every move is so innocent and so familiar I almost forget we’ve just met. After we’ve all laughed and shared stories, Lori and I snuggle in close to each other as we wait for the bill. I’ve tried to be on my best behavior so my sister won’t call in the National Guard to defend Lori against me, but when she laughs softly at something Madeline says, I can’t resist the urge to place my hand on her thigh just above her knee.
I know the small intake of breath goes unnoticed by Jackson and Madeline, but it shoots like a dagger into my soul and creates a lust so deep within me I suddenly worry I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off of her once we part ways with our uninvited guests. I quickly grab the bill and pay for dinner so we can get on our way. We stand and say good-bye to Jackson and Madeline, and when Madeline gives me a hug she whispers, “You hurt her and I’ll make your life miserable. Treat her with respect please, she’s been a great friend.”
For a second I consider telling my sister she doesn’t need to threaten me, that I want to treat Lori differently. I know my history won’t lend my declaration much support, so I just nod and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Anything for you, Madeline.”
Out in front of the restaurant, as we’re about to get into the car, Madeline’s eyes hint at mischief and she suddenly bursts out, “Lori you should come to Jackson’s birthday party next week! I was going to text you, but this is even better.” With a look in my direction and an unrelenting stare, she finishes, “That way Ben has a little more motivation to not be an ass because he of course will be at the party, and we wouldn’t want there to be any awkwardness.”
Lori looks at me with an equally devious smile and says, “I wouldn’t miss it. Sounds like a great time. If your brother and I part ways before then, I’m sure it won’t cause awkwardness for us to attend the same social function. I appreciate you looking out for me, Madeline, but you know I can hold my own.” With a small wink in Madeline’s direction, Lori bends down and slips into the waiting car.
“You have no idea what you just got yourself into, big bro, but it sure is going to be fun watching you sweat.” With that, Madeline and Jackson take off for the short walk back to his truck.
Lori
Madeline is a great friend and I appreciate the warning, which I absolutely will take to heart. I remember her complaining often about her family, and especially the way she felt like her brother was always looking out for her even though she was old enough to look out for herself. Ben had been the overprotective brother to my friend who was dying to have a little independence and autonomy. I can’t believe I never saw the resemblance before, but now I’m already into this too deep. I need to see where it will lead, even if it’s just a one-night thing. I hope me knowing Madeline is not a deal breaker for Ben.
The partition is up for privacy in the car, but it makes
the space feel very small. Ben slides in next to me and I look at him right away to see if I can read any emotions. When he scrubs his hands down his face and then offers me a big smile, I know the whole dinner was stressful for him, but he is taking it well. “Un-fucking-believable. How the hell is this world so damn small?”
I laugh at his question and shake my head. “Don’t worry about it, Ben. I never thought we were getting married. I know what I’ve gotten myself into.” He lightly puts his hand on my knee and draws a small circle on the inside of my leg, tracing over the strap of my garter.
“My sister’s warnings didn’t scare you off? Just so you know, I deserved everything she dished out.” I watch his face as he waits for my response. I can tell he’s holding his breath waiting for me to end this right here. I decide to put him out of his misery by dragging the hem of my dress up my leg, revealing my thigh and the long black strap that connects to my stockings. He watches my every move, tracing his finger along the hot skin that’s now uncovered.
“You don’t scare me, Ben. You intrigue me. There’s a very important difference.” I whisper this as he creates a feeling of fire, sliding his rough finger along the heated skin.
“Hmmm, I can live with that.” When his finger reaches the edge of my panties, I slowly let my legs fall open ever-so slightly so he can continue the trail to wherever he’s headed. I watch as his lips curve into a smile. “So you never honestly answered my question earlier, was it good?”
I manage to clear away the fog of lust long enough to guess he’s referring to the night at the hotel when my body was so committed to giving itself to him. “Oh, it was good.” I laugh lightly knowing that “good” was not the answer he was looking for.
“Can’t just let me have it can you? Admit it, Lori. Together we’re more than good. The need I felt for you was way past a reaction I would expect for just feeling good. It took every ounce of restraint I had to step back into that elevator and not follow you to your room and take what you were willing to give.” My heartbeat picks up as he leans in closer to me and kisses a line from my ear down to my shoulder.
I lean my head to the side to allow him access to the skin his tongue is hunting for. As his lips meet my neck again, I arch up, fighting the growing ache I feel. “Maybe it was a little better than good,” I breathe, and hear him chuckle beside me.
“Well, I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself again,” he says as he begins to remove his fingers from the edge of my panties. I clamp my legs closed and trap his hand between my thighs.
“Okay, you win this one. It was unbelievable. I don’t think I have ever been more sexually frustrated than you left me that night. Now, where were we?” I ask as I release my grip on his hand.
When his hand slides up to cup my core, I let my eyes close and tip my head back, allowing a familiar heat to wash over my flesh. “Actually,” he replies in a low voice that I can feel in every cell in my body, “we’re just pulling up to your building.” My eyes fly open and I look out the window to see if he’s telling the truth. This can’t be happening again; if we’re still playing, it’s my turn to walk away from him. When I stare into his face I see the amused look, but it’s shadowed by a lust and desire that has me confused.
“Lori, I can’t do that to myself anymore. Last time nearly killed me and sent me into a week of very sleepless nights and computer stalking. I’m not dismissing you, just answering your question honestly.” When he laughs again, a wave of relief crashes over me, and I slap his arm for teasing. He flinches in mock pain, but then slides his hand behind my head and pulls me to him. His lips touch mine gently, and his other hand slides up to cup my neck as he kisses me with such tenderness I can feel it in my soul.
I reach up and grab his bicep, needing to ground myself to him to know this feeling is real. I have kissed before, many times, but never have I felt like I was being consumed by such a gentle kiss. Ben’s tongue runs across my bottom lip and I open my mouth to feel him inside me. When our tongues meet I can feel his muscles tense, and I know he’s trying hard to restrain himself. When he pulls away from me, I wait to see what his next move is.
“I don’t do this, Lori. If you were any other girl I would’ve taken you the night we met, but I can’t handle not knowing what will happen next. This is new territory for me and it’s making me insane—you’re driving me insane. I don’t trust myself to take you up to your apartment and keep my hands off of you.”
“Ben, I don’t want you to keep your hands off of me.” I slide my hand down his chest and lean in to place another kiss on his lips.
“I want to see you again. If I go up there with you we might ruin that.” I can’t help but laugh at his nervousness. He’s really overthinking this. I lean in again and kiss him, but this time it’s a kiss that expresses that we absolutely would be seeing each other again. It’s full of fire and need, and I know he can feel that one night together couldn’t even come close to extinguishing what we’re building between us.
“Ben, take me to my apartment. We can decide how far to take this once we’re up there.” I just need him to relax, to not worry about what this means for us tomorrow. The confident man I’ve been lusting after is becoming someone a little dangerous to me. What does it mean if he says he wants to see me again and he’s willing to wait to have sex with me to prove it?
With a nod and a look of unwavering confidence, Ben pulls himself together and grabs my hand. Leading me out of the car, he guides me into the lobby. My pulse quickens as we step into the elevator. I smile as I wonder for minute if I’ll ever get into an elevator without thinking of Ben again. As the doors close, Ben uses the hand at my back to pull me into him, and then kisses me again. It fuels the lust I’m feeling low in my gut. I arch into him and trace my hands up and down his back.
When the doors open on my floor, I step away from him and hold the door with my hand, using the other to signal him to go ahead of me. When he chuckles, I know that he understands I won’t be allowing him to escape so easily this time. I take the lead again when I’m sure he is staying and open the door to my apartment. Dropping my clutch and taking off my earrings, I place everything on the small table just inside my door.
“You have a nice place,” he says, looking around to take in everything. He has his hands in his pockets and it makes his biceps stretch his tight shirt. His body is amazing; it looks as though it could be carved from stone. He takes a few more steps inside the entryway and I scoot past him to the kitchen.
“Thank you. I’m going to grab some wine, is white okay?” I ask as I slip my heels off, loving the cold feeling of the tile on my sore feet. It’s been a long day, but I wouldn’t give this time up with Ben for anything. I open the fridge and retrieve the bottle, then grab two glasses from the cabinet. Ben’s watching me as he leans against the small island in my kitchen. He’d nodded at my question, and I’m working as quickly as possible to get this bottle open so I can cool down the heat I feel in his presence.
“Let me help you with that,” he says as he takes the bottle opener out of my hand. I lean my hip against the counter and watch as he easily opens the bottle and pours us each a glass. He holds mine out to me and then raises his. “Here’s to the ‘good’ we have together.” I clink my glass to his and then swallow it down. He’s amused I just finished a glass before he could even finish his sip but doesn’t say anything. Ben fills my glass again and then swallows his down, filling it again immediately.
The alcohol warms my blood even more, and now I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever be able to cool off. Ben puts his glass down and places his hands on my hips. I turn so my back is against the counter and he boxes me in with his hands, now on either side of the counter around me. When his mouth meets mine, I try to casually put my glass down before I drop it, and he senses my motion and quickly grabs my glass, putting it on the counter to the side of our bodies.
“You look a little hot, Miss Easton.” His finger runs down the exposed skin of my ches
t. “I think I could help you with that,” he says as his hands slide down my body from my chest to the outside of my breasts, then down to my waist. When they don’t stop there, I melt with the idea of his destination being lower. As his hands smooth over my ass, I close my eyes and absorb every sensation of heat.
When he reaches the hem of my dress, his lips make their way from my neck to the swell of my breasts. My hands move, tangling in his hair. I hear a small groan as I pull him into me. His hands fall below my hem, rough skin on the sides of my thighs. He slides them up higher, taking the hem of my dress with them until I lose the sensation of his skin on mine as he moves my dress up over my garter belt. “Fuck, you’re so sexy,” he growls as he sucks on the skin at the top of my breast.
When I tip my hips into his, he grabs my ass and grinds into me, letting me feel the effect I’m having on him. When I arch into him again, pressing as much of my body to his as possible, he grabs my ass and lifts me onto the counter. The coolness of the counter does nothing to cool my heated skin. Ben traces the line of the top of my dress with one finger while inching his other hand up the inside of my thigh. I feel like I might explode with the overwhelming sensations he’s sending through my body.
On the next pass of his finger across my breast, he pulls the fabric down, releasing my lace-covered breast from my dress. The coolness of the air on my skin tightens my nipple even more and I watch as he circles my delicate skin with his tongue over the fabric. When I let a small moan escape, he pulls the lace away as well, allowing my full breast to fall free and be caressed by his hand and mouth.
Letting Go Page 5