When Caleb finally looks in my direction, he mouths “Max” and tips his chin toward the back doors that open to the patio. That’s all it takes. I jog to the doors, ignoring anyone who tries to stop me for friendly chitchat. I curse myself for letting her get away from me. I promised to protect her, and the first night I failed.
I’ve never felt more desperate to get anywhere in my life. How had he gotten in? I know as I make my way to her that I’ll kill him if that’s what it takes. I clench my fist at my sides and my jaw locks shut when I grind my teeth. If he has hurt her, he’s a dead man. Fucking with my family will make anyone a dead man walking, and Lori is my family.
I push the doors open and they slam loudly against the walls they’re hanging on. Max is standing over Lori, his hands tightly gripping her upper arms. He’s in street clothes, and I realize he must have snuck through one of the back entrances. When he hears the doors, he sighs dramatically and tips his head back. A low chuckle fills the air around us.
“You fucking bastard. I thought you were helping me but really you were fucking my girlfriend.” He turns his head so I can see his face, but he doesn’t make a move to let Lori go. I see her wince when he jerks her so that she’s no longer pressed up against the railing. Tears streak down her face, and I can see that her cheek is turning red and swelling right in front of my eyes. My heart hurts so badly for letting this happen.
“I’m going to ruin you, Max,” I seethe through my clenched teeth. Max chuckles again, and this time something in me snaps.
“Really? How are you gonna do that?” His voice is laced with sarcasm and anger.
“I’m going to make sure you never work in this state again. Then I’m going to spread the word about how you treat women so that you never get a chance to touch another one. But first, I’m going to fucking kill you so that it’s a lot easier to make those things happen.” When I lunge to close the space between us, he shoves Lori so hard that she falls and slides along the concrete.
My fist meets his face in the most rewarding punch I’ve ever thrown. Max tries to counter, but I’m too angry and determined to end his life. Over and over again I slam my fist into his face. I can feel the bones give beneath my fingers. I know his nose is broken and I’m sure much of his face is also. It’s not enough.
I tackle him and have him laid out beneath me. He puts his arm up to block his face and I feel strong hands pulling me off of him. I grab at anything I can so that the fight isn’t over. I make contact a few more times before my brother manages to pull me away and to my feet. When Max puts his arm down, I spit right on his face. “You even look at her again and I’ll finish this. Do you understand me?” I yell as he remains flat on his back, legs ready to kick me if I try to come at him again.
When he doesn’t answer I lunge toward him again, determined to break free from my brother’s arms. “I fucking understand you!” he yells as he squirms farther away from me. “You broke my damn nose! My fucking face is shattered. What the fuck?” His hands roam over the destroyed and swollen flesh of his face. I don’t answer him because I’m looking at Lori.
My brother releases me when he realizes that I’m not going to go after Max when Lori is still sprawled on the concrete. I run and wrap my arms around her. She’s shaking and crying but she still wraps her small arms around my neck. “It’s over, baby. It’s over.” I pull her up to her feet and tuck her into my chest. She’s weak and I can hardly hold her up. I decide to just scoop her up and hold her against me.
When I start to make my way back to the doors, the people who’ve been watching part so that I can go through them. I don’t stop until I have her loaded into the limo. Her face is bruised and her elbows are scraped and bleeding. I tell the driver to take us to the hospital so that she can be looked at. There will be consequences for what I just did to Max’s face, but it was something that had to be done.
When the doctor is finished with Lori, he turns his attention to me. I tell him I’m fine but he points to my hand, which is now multiple shades of purple and red. I open my fist and immediately feel sharp pain. A few X-rays and a small hand cast later, Lori and I leave the hospital for the warmth and peace of my place.
Lori
My cheek is throbbing, but it doesn’t do anything to take away from the feeling of peace I have knowing Ben protected me. I’m not sure what will happen next, but I believe what Ben said on that patio. He’ll make sure that Max has to leave this area, and I’ll finally be free. I reach down and hold his unhurt hand as he tries to unlock his door. With a soft giggle, I take the key from his casted hand and open it for us.
We make our way to his bedroom, and he empties his pocket onto his dresser. I turn the light on in his bathroom and remove my earrings. I start to dig around in my updo for bobby pins and pull them out. The loose curls fall from the top of my head, and I rub my scalp to help relieve the tension. In the mirror, I see Ben slip into the bathroom behind me.
“Thank you for tonight,” I say as I pull another pin from my hair. His hands follow mine and he starts to pull pins as well.
“I wish I would have killed him.” Our movement stops for a second as we look into each other’s eyes in the mirror.
“I know,” I say, because I do. I wanted him dead, too, but now I can see that it’s better this way. He’ll leave me alone and the worst thing that will happen to Ben is a giant slap from the local police department.
Ben pulls the last pin from my hair and then runs his fingers through the curls. Goose bumps rise on my skin. He twists my hair to the side and kisses my neck. I watch as his cast rests on my hip. He did all of that for me. My heart swells and I lean back into him as his mouth grazes my skin.
Turning around, I take his lips with mine and reach to the counter behind me. I’m about to jump up to sit on it when he breaks the kiss and shakes his head. “Lori, I want you, but not fast and in the bathroom. I need to take my time with you and be gentler.” As if to remind me why, he brushes his casted hand along my swollen cheek. I nod and kiss his lips.
Reaching up, I switch off the light in the bathroom and we make our way to his bed. I help him remove his jacket and then focus on his shirt. He steals kisses as I unbutton the crisp white linen. I pull it from his pants and he shrugs out of it. His hands then find the zipper at the back of my dress and lower it. I’ve felt his hands rough on my skin before, but now they’re the gentlest I’ve ever experienced.
My dress falls around my feet and I step out of it. I watch Ben’s eyes explore my body, which is now only covered by a strapless, black lace bra and matching panties. I unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants. His zipper is pulled tight against him, his body clearly liking what he sees. I lower it and then push his pants down so that they drop on the floor beside my dress.
I sit down on the end of his bed and lean back to climb up to the headboard. Before my elbows hit the bed, Ben pulls me back against him. “Your elbows,” he whispers, and I remember that they’re scraped and sore. I nod and he pulls me back to my feet. Just like before, he scoops me up and carries me to the side of the bed. Ben lays me down softly and then climbs on top.
When our relationship was all about the sex we would rush into it. Now, he’s taking his time, sweeping kisses across my skin and heating it with his tongue. My body is on fire from the way he knows me, the small touches and slight pressure right where I need it. I can feel the flush in my cheeks and the ache between my legs. When I begin to wonder if he’s going to tease me all night, he kneels between my knees and slips my panties off.
Reaching up, I tuck my hands beneath his waistband and rub my finger gently across his tip before pulling his boxer briefs down his legs. My back arches when he reaches for the strap of my bra and within seconds he throws it to the side, and I can feel his warm skin on my bare breasts. Usually we’re more impatient, but I can see that he’s holding back out of worry that he’ll hurt me.
I tangle my hands in his hair and pull his face closer to mine. �
�I’m okay, it’s not that sore,” I tell him as I suck his lip into my mouth. He doesn’t dive in, so I pull my face away and look at him curiously. “What is it?” His fingers brush the hair from my face, and he smiles brilliantly above me.
“I never thought I would find this.” He dips his lips down to press a small kiss to mine. I look up at him curiously. “Tonight, I realized that I would do anything for you. It didn’t matter what would happen to me so long as you were okay. I’ve always been selfish but being in love with you has changed me.” I smile again and he takes a minute to kiss my lips. “I guess I’ve always seen love like this as unattainable, something people only thought they could have. I was wrong. It’s real and it’s us and I couldn’t be happier.”
I feel a tear drip down my face as I watch his eyes. What he’s saying is true for me also. I faced my biggest fear tonight because I had him by my side. He has made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. I kiss him again and then twist so I can kiss his casted hand.
“I want to take my time with you tonight. I want to explore all of you and enjoy every second of this. I used to rush to the end,” he says with a chuckle, “but the funny thing is that would be impossible with you.” I slide my hands over his cheeks and laugh a little with him. “Ask me why, Lori. Ask me why I can’t rush to the end with you?” His smile grows serious and I hesitate for a second.
“Why can’t you rush to the end with me?” I ask, my heart pounding.
“Because there is no end with you, Lori.” I feel his words wash over me and it feels as if my soul overflows with happiness. I lose the battle to hold back my tears and feel them race down my face and into my hair. He stares down at me as if to express how serious he is and how true those words are for him.
My voice is unsteady when I finally manage to whisper, “There is no end with you either.” With that statement, I see the pensiveness leave his face and a look of confidence replace it. His lips kiss mine, only this time it’s a deeper kiss. The passion pulls me in and I feel the heat of his touch all the way to my toes. I kiss him as if I can’t get enough—because I can’t.
When I can feel my lips are swollen, he makes his way down to my neck, licking and sucking until I’m sure he has left no spot untouched. He’s careful to not touch my skin with his rough cast, but his other hand sweeps across my skin, exploring from my neck to my breasts. I move against him slowly, aching to feel him inside me. I feel him move his hips slightly as he uses his uncasted hand to adjust himself so that my rocking will provide the friction I need against him.
“Slow,” he whispers in my ear and his breath cools the sweat that’s now beading on my shoulder. He trails small kisses down my chest before turning his attention to my breasts. I arch into him and the movement feels amazing as it causes my most sensitive area to slide along his length. I can feel him smile against my skin when I rock back and do it again. His eyes look into mine as he takes the tip of my breast into his warm mouth.
This time when I rock back, he presses his hips forward, increasing the friction and stealing my breath. My hands move to the sheets beneath us and I grip them tightly, closing my eyes and focusing on the feeling. His mouth leaves my breast and I feel the light touch of his tongue as it licks a line down to my core. His hands pull my legs wider and he tips my hips up as he presses his mouth to my aching center.
He told me to go slow, so I fight the need to rock against him again. The slightly wet trail from his tongue on my neck, breast, and stomach cools as the air hits it, adding to the tingling nerves I feel everywhere. It’s as if I’m floating, all the sensual sensations overwhelming me. Then I feel his fingers slide inside as his tongue presses perfectly against the small bundle of nerves. Waves of pleasure roll through me as I come undone more powerfully than ever before.
I wait for him to enter me but he doesn’t. Instead, he kisses my thighs and rubs his hand down the smooth skin of my leg. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to take his time. Finally, he kisses his way back up to my neck and then gently pushes into me, stretching my now tight channel. He does this slowly, too, which only adds to the growing pleasure inside.
His eyes are on mine as he begins a slow but steady pace, rocking against me completely before retreating to start the process again. I open my eyes when I hear his gruff whisper. “Fuck. It’s like the first time every time with you. I will never get enough.” I suck the skin below his jaw into my mouth and feel his movement stutter as the sensation revs up his pleasure.
I can no longer wait for him to move inside me so I roll us over and look into his surprised eyes. “My turn,” I say as I lift off of him and then slowly lower myself back down. His hand immediately tangles in my hair and he pulls my lips to his. My hair falls over his face, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and then kisses me deep.
The rough surface of his cast finally touches my skin as he pushes my ass down harder onto him. I feel him pushing up to meet me, and then the stretch of being completely filled. I thought that maybe I was the one in control, but I’d been wrong. As I slide up again, his hand in my hair keeps my mouth locked to his while his other hand guides me. Slowly I take him back in until our bodies are joined tightly. His hand presses me down and pulls me forward as he presses his hips up again, pushing the limits within me.
“Ben,” I whisper in warning as the delicious feeling washes over me.
“I know,” he whispers back as he guides me up again. His eyes close for the briefest of seconds and then he pulls me back down onto him quickly, arching into me so that there’s no question of whether or not this is the deepest he’s ever been. His hand in my hair pulls me down to his chest and holds me as I fall apart with him.
Ben
It’s been a month since I smashed in Max’s face. I’ve heard it’s healing well but haven’t seen it myself since he quickly left the state after our little confrontation. He never went to the police, and I imagine that had something to do with a lot of people at the party witnessing the way he had touched Lori. It might also have something to do with the man I sent over to his place to explain what would happen if he came near her again.
His father resigned from the board of our company even after we assured him that we did not hold him accountable for his son’s actions. He insisted it was for the best and we didn’t argue it any further. He and my father still play golf together on the weekends. I couldn’t have asked for a better ending to that situation.
My life has been wonderful since that night on the patio. I learned a lot about myself. I also learned that I was capable of loving someone deeply, something I had thought was possible only for people in books or movies. It took the fear of losing her for a few minutes to realize what I had. I won’t make that mistake again.
Lori moved in with me the week after that night. I used to love my space and the freedom of being unattached, but now I wouldn’t trade what I have going for anything in the world. I wake up with her in my arms and get to go to sleep each night wrapped around her. We’re taking things slow, but there’s no doubt in my mind that I want to be with her forever. It’s because of her that I know what it feels like to love deeply and to be deeply loved in return.
It’s also because of her that I know the taste of letting go.
The End
Acknowledgements
I sat down to start my first book on Wattpad in 2014. It’s been quite a journey. I’m so grateful for the wonderful opportunities I’ve been given and the people I’ve met because of this amazing platform. I’d love to thank everyone at Wattpad who believed in my story, especially the readers who have been there from the beginning. Thank you to the Wattpad Stars Program, Wattpad Books, and the dedicated team members that have been a part of this journey.
Thank you to Melinda Di Lorenzo for being a longtime friend and supporter during my writing. You have been here with me since day one. I always know I can count on you for anything writing related. Over the years, I’ve
looked forward to logging on and seeing the green dot letting me know I’m not alone online in this career. You mean a lot to me, and I look up to you for your ability to write the most interesting characters and witty banter. I appreciate you.
Thank you to my Patty Carothers and Amy Brewer at Metamorphosis Literary Agency. You have both been the best agents. I will forever be grateful for your ongoing patience and support. I feel so blessed to have you in my corner.
To Jake and Josh, I love you very much. Thank you for understanding that writing and editing takes time and allowing me to do what I love. You both mean more to me than anything else in the world. You’re my everything.
To Christina Zeller and Sandy Bruce. You’re my girls. My best friends. My rocks. I’m so lucky to have you both. Thank you for the countless hours of friendship, love, and support you’ve shown me and the time you’ve invested in my life. I’m forever in awe of your perseverance in all situations.
To Jaime Angell, none of this would be happening if you hadn’t agreed to help an old student from your English class all those years ago. You were an amazing English teacher then, and you are an amazing friend now. Thank you for playing two roles in my life and being phenomenal at them both. I appreciate you.
About the Author
Sarah L. White was born and raised in California. She is a graduate of the University of California, Los Angeles, and California State University, Long Beach. She has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in counseling. Sarah spends her days as a marriage and family therapist and her nights and weekends reading and writing stories. She is a winner of the Harlequin So You Think You Can Write contest and of two Watty Awards. She currently lives in California with her two boys.
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