With the weight of the emotions we experience tonight lifted, the energy between us is electric. Ben’s mouth dips down to kiss my neck and I lace my fingers through his hair, holding his lips against my skin. His five o’clock shadow scratches my skin as he trails his tongue along my throat. “I need you.”
His voice resonates deep within me and I don’t hesitate to answer, “I need you too.” In one movement he slides into me and we both moan in pleasure at the sensation of our bodies joining. Ben’s heavy-lidded eyes meet mine as he slides out and then pulls me back to him with a force that shakes my body.
The pleasure is already building fast, and I lock my legs behind him and use my heels to deepen his touch within me. “Always,” he says softly before tipping my hips up and pushing inside deeper than he’s ever been. His body is pressing against my most sensitive area as he moves against me.
“Ben, I’m close,” I manage to say, and he captures my mouth with his before moving a hand between us to circle the most sensitive bundle of nerves at my core. “Yes,” I whisper more to myself than to him, but I know he’s heard me, because I can feel him grow harder inside me. In and out he moves, and my own pleasure builds. The steam of the shower is thick and comforting as it wraps around us.
I can feel Ben’s muscles beneath my fingers as they flex with his movement. My fingers clench his skin, slipping slightly with the water and sweat that’s beading across the smooth surface. He’s the picture of male perfection. The rough shadow on his face scratches my delicate lips, as if to remind me of my softness against his strength.
He thrusts one last time and I climax around him, clutching him and pulling him deep inside me. Ben stays as close as possible to me while I hold tight to him. His chest against mine only draws out the waves of pleasure. When my body has calmed, he slides out slowly before pushing in again. The movement is like a low current of electricity across my sensitive nerves. I dig my nails into his skin and express to him without words that I want him back close to me.
We have this dance down. Just as I have learned to read his unspoken needs, he knows all of mine. Adjusting his stance so that he maximizes the pressure against my core, he presses forward again and ignites my body once more. This time he watches my face the whole time, circling his hips as I move my body against his. It’s our closeness, the safe feeling he gives me, and of course, the love I have for him, that makes our time together the best I’ve ever had.
Ben tips his head back, closes his eyes and I watch as beads of moisture on his skin stream down his tanned body. My tongue licks away a stream of moisture from his jaw to the base of his throat. I feel him swallow slowly, his body reacting to the touch of my tongue. I’m exhausted and can feel the wonderful ache from all our contact, so I wonder how he can still be steadily pushing into me. When I feel his muscles tighten beneath my touch and hear the low, deep moan of his pleasure, I know that he has followed me in his own release.
He rests his head in my shoulder and keeps me cradled as close as possible to him. Finally, when the haze clears, he gently sets me back down and kisses me. His lips move up to my neck and then jaw before he plants a kiss on my cheek. It’s both tender and loving. His voice is steady when he says, “I love you, Lori. I promise to keep you safe if it’s the last thing I do.” I know in my heart it’s the truth, and for the first time in a year I feel safe.
The realization sets in that I’ve survived my escape from Max and have landed in this beautiful relationship with Ben. The tears that I’ve been trying so hard to hold back pour out of me. Ben holds me tight and rocks me as I let it all out, washing away the shame of my past in the embrace of the man I love.
When there are no tears left to shed, he shuts off the water and wraps me in a warm towel. Tenderly, he slips my nightgown over my head and then grabs a pair of boxer briefs from his own bag. As if we have always done it, we stand together in the bathroom and brush our teeth at the double sinks. He shuts the light off behind us when we leave and we each pull back the covers of the bed and tuck our tired bodies inside.
The room is dark and quiet as we move toward each other, and I press my back to his front. I sigh at the comfort his strong arm wrapped around me brings, and he pulls me back tighter against him and rests his head on the pillow behind mine. Tonight, I’m going to sleep soundly for the first time in a long while, and I owe that to this wonderful man behind me. I close my eyes and pull his hand to my chest, falling to sleep quickly, wrapped in his comfort.
Ben
I wait for Lori to fall asleep and watch her chest rise and fall in a smooth rhythm. When I’m sure she won’t wake up, I sneak out of bed and grab my phone from the dresser. I pull the bedroom door closed behind me and make my way to one of the other rooms in the suite. I bring up my brother Caleb’s number and hit Dial. His voice is groggy but not upset. “Hey, Ben, everything okay?”
“Everything’s not okay. Look, things have been getting serious between me and Lori.”
“No shit, bro. Tell me something I don’t know.” He chuckles, and I roll my eyes at his taunting.
“Tonight, after dinner while we were waiting for the car to pick us up, I reached toward her to tuck some hair behind her ear. She flinched.”
It takes a minute from Caleb to respond. “That fucking dickhead.” I knew he would know what had happened right away. “Did she admit it was him?”
“Yes. She said it wasn’t very bad at first—like any of it would be acceptable. It escalated to the point that he broke a rib and busted her face up pretty bad. She has pictures of everything and that’s why he told us she had something on him.” I sit down on the edge of a bed and rest my head on my palm. “I’m going to kill him, Caleb. I want to smash in his face until there’s nothing left. What the fuck was he thinking hitting a woman?”
“Clearly, he wasn’t thinking. You can’t kill him, but we can absolutely destroy any chance he would have of doing it to another woman. Let’s get the word around and cut him off from any privileges at our office. I’ll let security know right away. Have you told Dad?” Caleb knows that it’s going to be the hardest call to make. Max’s dad has been a good friend of his for many years. I’m not sure how I want to break the news.
“Not yet, but he’s my next call.”
“Okay, I’ll start spreading the word, leaving Lori’s name out of course, and you work on breaking the news to Dad.” I agree and then hang up.
It takes me a few minutes to psych myself up enough to dial his number. My dad is tough and very business oriented. I know he’ll not be okay with a man beating a woman, but I also know that he’s going to be put in a very ugly position between maintaining his friendship and doing what’s right.
The phone rings and I wait with anticipation for my dad to pick up. “Hi, Ben. Is everything all right?” I glance over at the clock and see that it is close to midnight.
“Yeah, Dad. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it was this late. I just needed to talk to you about something that can’t wait.”
“Okay, go on.” I can hear that he’s moving around on the other end of the line and then the click of him turning on the lamp on his nightstand.
“I’ve been seeing Lori.” I know the name doesn’t ring a bell right away and I refuse to call her Max’s Lori, so I wait for him to put it together on his own.
“Lori as in the woman who left Max? I hope not, Ben, because this is going to cause a lot of problems.”
“I know, Dad. That’s why we haven’t been telling anyone. I thought we could just have a little fun and no one would find out, but then I fell in too deep. I love her, Dad.”
He hesitates a moment before breathing out a sigh and asking, “Okay, now what?”
I smile against my phone and answer, “I think I have that part figured out on my own, Dad.”
“Don’t be a smart-ass, Ben. I meant now what do we do about breaking the news to Hugh?”
“Well, here’s the thing. I don’t really care how we tell
Hugh, but I’m planning on telling that fucker Max with my fist in his face multiple times. Tonight, I found out he beat her. That fucking prick beat her within an inch of her life. He broke her rib and hit her so hard her face swelled. I want him dead. So, in answer to your question, I’ll leave Hugh to you, but you better believe that I’m going to be happy to deliver the message to Max.”
My dad sits on that information for a minute and then asks, “When are you coming back?”
“Tomorrow morning. I want to handle this right now so Lori can start living her life again. He threatened her and she has been waiting with evidence against him if he got too close for comfort again. The thought that he might get the balls to try to reach her has me in knots.”
I hear him clear is throat. “Okay, then, it’s settled. I’ll let Hugh know what his son has been up to and ask that he get him some help and keep him away from our businesses. If he doesn’t understand that, I’ll let him go. Damn shame, but I always knew that stupid kid of his would fuck up the friendship we’ve spent so long building. Let’s wait until after the charity event so it’s not tarnished with any drama or fallout that might come from this.”
“Thanks, Dad. I’ll be home tomorrow.
“Don’t do anything stupid, Ben. We have other types of power that we can use. Let’s just get this settled so you two can move on with your lives.” I love that even though he seems so tough on the outside, underneath all of the smoke and mirrors, he’s still my dad and would do anything to help make me happy.
“I’ll see you tomorrow night at the party. I wasn’t going to be able to make it, but since we’re coming home early, I wouldn’t miss it,” I tell him.
“See you then. Try to keep out of trouble, but if you can’t, then be smart about it.”
I agree. “Good night, Dad. I love you.”
“Love you too, son. Proud of you for looking out for that woman, and I can’t wait to meet her tomorrow.” We end the phone call and I slowly walk back to our room so I can tuck myself in behind Lori. As I watch her so delicately curled up on the bed, I can’t stop myself from wondering how any man could ever raise a hand to her. She’s one of the most important people in my life. I sneak back in behind her and fall to sleep knowing that from this moment forward she’ll never be in danger again.
Lori
My hands shake as I try to put my earring in my ear. Last night Ben crawled into bed behind me and held me in his arms all night. This morning we drove back from our trip with the understanding that tonight we would come out as a couple. The charity event will be filled with our friends and of course, a few enemies. I knew this day would come, but I thought it wouldn’t be this soon.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, holding the dangling earring to my ear and willing my hand to stop its quaking. Large, warm hands rub up my arms and help to hold me still. His warmth at my back calms my speeding heart.
“Relax, Lori. You’re going to be at my side all night. We made sure to have his name taken off the list. His assistant was sent information about a last-minute job he needed to attend.” His soft lips brush against my neck briefly.
“He isn’t going to just bow out, Ben. He’s going to be so pissed. I might be by your side tonight, but he’ll find me some time when you aren’t around.” I’ve been living a life full of fear for a while, but I was able to tell myself the pictures were enough. Now that he can see the face of another man in my life, any anger he has is going to come boiling to the surface. I’m not sure there’s any way for me to avoid getting burned.
“I’m working on that. It’s nothing for you to worry about.” He sounds so confident, and I hope he’s right. With one final big breath, I open my eyes and finally get the earring on. His hands are still on my arms and his eyes meet mine in the mirror.
“You look absolutely stunning. I want you to walk into that room on my arm and hold your head high. You’ve done nothing wrong. I’m going to make sure that Max never gets the opportunity to hurt you like that again.” I nod and try hard to hold back the tears I feel building.
“Okay. Thank you, Ben.” He slowly spins me around and kisses my lips. His hands roam down over the beaded bodice of my dress and then rest at my hips.
“Don’t leave my side tonight. Not for a minute. You need to go to the bathroom, I’m going with you. You want to leave, then we leave together. I’m working on a plan to keep him away from you forever, but it’s going to take time. Tonight, you’re safe so long as you are by my side.” I look into his eyes and see that he’s trying not to scare me, but is urging me to see how serious he is. I nod, and he presses one last kiss to my lips.
The entire ride over to the hall I sit pressed against his side. His fingers are entwined with mine and I rest my head against his shoulder. I need to do this. I don’t want to live in fear my whole life. Ben squeezes my hand, drawing my attention to the fact that we’ve just pulled up outside the event. I lift my head and glance at the crowd of people outside, scanning faces to find Max.
“He’s at the job site.” Ben turns my face to him with his finger under my chin. I try to figure out how he might know, but he answers my question before I can ask. “I have lots of people watching, Lori. I’ll take care of you.” It’s now that I notice his phone in his other hand. I’ve been so lost in my head this whole ride I must not have noticed him texting.
“I’m ready.” I say it even though I don’t feel that way in my heart. I want to stay locked in the limo all night and forget about Max and what he might do if he’s angry. Ben takes my hand again as the driver opens our door. People are used to him having girls on his arms at events like this, but no one is ready for that girl to be me.
I see the flash of a few cameras and the hushed whispers of a few women around me. Ben doesn’t give me a moment to think before tugging my arm so that I’m curled into his side. The flashes go off again and I blink back the spots that are now dancing in my eyes. This is not my first time on a red carpet, but it’s my first time when I’m not afraid of the man I’m with.
We make our way along the carpet, and I watch as Ben greets people. I stand back to give him some space, but his hand tightens on mine, and he pulls me into the conversation. “This is my girlfriend, Lori.” His eyes meet mine and I melt when I see the proud smile on his face. I wish I could forget about what’s awaiting us inside and just enjoy the way those words sound. I smile back shyly and shake the hands of those he’s introducing me to.
The last few steps into the hall might be the hardest steps I’ve ever taken. I feel Ben move in closer to me and his hand remains tight around my own. When the doors open, a few heads turn in our direction. Ben keeps moving as if he did this every day, and I move with him. I hope my smile looks natural as I scan the room for Max.
My heart is pounding in my chest and I’m starting to feel dizzy. Ben pulls me into him and kisses my lips. It isn’t an innocent kiss. Instead, his mouth captures mine and his tongue slides across my lips before slipping in. I close my eyes and trust that he knows what he’s doing. Within seconds I don’t care who’s watching us. I lift my hand up and touch his cheek.
When Ben finally breaks our kiss, he smiles down at me and then tucks his head into my neck to whisper, “Everyone knows now. I hope that feels as good for you as it does for me.” The fear in my heart is replaced with the warm, radiating feeling of love as I realize what a gift Ben has been.
I wonder if it’s possible that Max will realize I love someone else and just let me go. It seems too good to be true, but Ben is more powerful than he is, so it isn’t completely impossible. When an hour passes and he still isn’t around, I relax and start to enjoy the night. Ben doesn’t release my hand until I meet his father. His dad shakes my hand and tells me he looks forward to getting to know me better. Before we move on to another group of people, his dad tells me that everything will work out, in a sweet, fatherly way.
I guess I hadn’t realized how many people Ben could rally together to help us
with this horrible situation. As I look around the room again I notice the party is dying down and will be over soon. I feel such huge relief that I’ve made it through. Ben has saved me from years of hiding and fear. I feel lighter, and know it isn’t just because my hand is not in Ben’s for the first time all night, but because I’m free to live my life.
The thought of freedom hits me hard and I feel a lump grow in my throat. I’m so relieved to finally have a night out with Ben without hiding our relationship. The ugly chapter of Max feels behind me. I fight back tears and wish desperately that I could get out of here without everyone seeing me break down. That’s when I see the doors that open to the patio. I get tunnel vision and immediately make my way to the doors and the open air they promise. When I finally get there, I suck in a breath of crisp night air and lean against the patio railing.
The night is cool and it’s dark outside. It’s such a contrast to the loud, crowded room I’ve just fled from. As soon as I get myself under control, I’ll make my way back in to Ben. I close my eyes so the tears of happiness don’t fall and ruin my makeup. I don’t hear the door open, but I feel warm hands at my arms, and I smile for a minute before the hands crush my skin and biting pain registers in my mind.
“How long have you been fucking Ben?” His voice is sharp and angry. I can smell the alcohol and cigarettes as he crowds his body against mine. I thought for a moment that I was going to survive him, but now I know that it was all too good to be true.
Ben
I reach my hand to the side to capture Lori’s and feel immediately that she’s not there. I spin around and take in the room. I don’t see her anywhere. What I do see is Caleb pushing through the crowd of people toward me. The party is coming to an end and our guests are trying to get to the front door. While my brother looks like he’s on a mission, many of our guests are stopping him so that they can say goodbye.
Letting Go Page 13