Spaced Out

by Korissa Allen

“Yeah you do,” Kelton says. “I thought you guys knew me better than this.” He rolls his eyes and playfully slugs Max in the arm.

  “Ow, come on man,” Max complains. “You know I’m just joking around. Anyway, David is with the ship, so we should start moving.”

  Max and Kelton lead us to a back stairwell that leads belowground to where the Corps keep most of their ships. The basement is vast, bigger than the base of the aboveground Corps’ building. The room is bright and the walls are an off-white color, the ground a deep black. I look down and see my reflection in the shiny tiles below my feet. I look worn down and grimy. I’m suddenly very self-aware of the stench rising up around me. Once I get back, I’m definitely taking a shower.

  The basement contains a few ships that look to be in good condition, but the rest are broken down and have parts strewn across the floor. I look to my left, which has two giant sliding doors, which I assume must be used to get the ships out of here. The doors appear to be locked by some kind of chain, which will be hard to maneuver.

  David waves us over to where he stands by one of the only fully put-together ships in the area. The ship is small but big enough for everyone to fit in. I glance at Kelton who seems very confident about his flying abilities. He steps onto the ship first and moves to the front, where most of the controls are.

  “You might need a copilot,” I say softly to him as he adjusts some switches overhead.

  “No thanks,” he says without looking. “I’ve got Max for that.” He finally peers at me over his shoulder. I look at the ground like a kid might after being scolded.

  “I didn’t mean that you couldn’t, just that I don’t need anyone,” he says apologetically. “Max is one of the best pilots I know, and he has been trained extensively. But maybe you could be my co-copilot.” He laughs lightly at his own joke, but I just frown at him.

  “In case you didn’t know,” I retort. “Daniel and I used to fly everywhere together, and I was his copilot. So if you think I can’t do it or something, talk to Daniel, because he’s one of the best pilots I know.”

  Daniel looks at me and smiles, but I’m too enraged at the moment to return the favor. He goes back to reading a thin manual book he found in one of the seats.

  “I didn’t mean to offend you,” Kelton says. “I’m just saying that-”

  “That because I’m a girl I can’t fly a ship?” I can feel my face flush red with anger.

  “No, that Max and I have already agreed on everything,” he retorts. “Besides, one of the pilots I trained with was a girl, and she flew better than anyone else in the class, including me.”

  “What happened?”

  “I’m not sure. I think she flew to one of the war sites to help the Corps.”

  “Too bad,” I say. “She could have really helped our side.”

  “Yeah,” Kelton says absentmindedly. He turns back to the control panel next to the flight controls and fidgets with the levers some more.

  “Excuse me,” Max says, coming up from behind me.

  “Sorry,” I say. “But can I sit next to him? You can still be copilot, just back there.” I point to behind the pilot’s chair.

  “Hey Max,” Kelton says, eyeing him carefully. “Just this once, I’ll let her sit next to me. You can next time, I promise.”

  “Sure,” Max says.

  I grow very suspicious, considering Max never agrees to anything without arguing about it first, but I take my seat anyway, next to Kelton. Not once, though, until after takeoff do I take my eyes off Max, and he does the same to me.

  The takeoff is loud, the engines roaring from the back of the ship. Kelton keeps his eyes focused ahead, not aware of anything else around him. Max sits behind Kelton, and David behind me. They whisper about something, but every time I look back, they sit upright and pretend nothing had happened.

  “It’s time,” Max says.

  “I know,” Kelton replies.

  “So are you going to do something?”

  “Hold on a minute,” Kelton says.

  “By then it will be too late,” Max says back.

  “I said, hold on,” Kelton says through gritted teeth. Then he turns to me. “Put this on, and don’t ask any questions.” I take the pack he hands me and strap it to my back.

  Max goes back to whispering to David, who is paler than usual. He taps his foot rapidly on the ground and never takes his eyes off the seat in front of him. Max, however, looks calm, confident, nothing out of the ordinary, except his eyes bounce from object to object and don’t land until he catches me looking at him.

  “Kelton,” David says, panic flooding his voice. “I think we’re high enough.”

  “Not yet,” he replies.

  “Are you afraid of heights?” I ask.

  “No,” he says. “But there is something I’m afraid of.”

  He ends the conversation with that, but I want to know what it is that he would be afraid of right now. Kelton lets go of the controllers. Max straightens his back, and David shifts uncomfortably in his seat. It all happens so fast that I almost don’t notice anything until it’s too late.

  “I’m not who you think I am,” Kelton says before smoke fills the ship and everything goes black.

  I’ve never been fond of heights. I remember one time when I went to the neighborhood water hole, kids would swim for hours, but the main attraction was the board resting fourteen feet above the ground. Children would climb a ladder to get to the top and then jump off into the clear water below. The board didn’t seem too high up, so one day my friends and I went to the base of the ladder and waited for our turn to climb to the top. I was the last to go, and with each rung of the ladder I climbed, the more afraid I became of jumping off. Once I finally reached the top of the ladder, and stepped on the board, my legs quivered beneath my body. I walked to the edge and looked down at the water below. My friends waved up at me and urged me to jump, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I could tell the kids at the base of the ladder were growing restless as they were waiting for me, and yet I couldn’t seem to do it.

  Finally, one of the older kids came to the top and asked if I was alright. I told him no and that I couldn’t do it.

  “Have you ever wanted to fly?” The question was unexpected, and I blinked my confusion.

  I processed his question before finally answering, “Yeah, I guess.”

  “When you jump, it feels like you’re flying,” he assured me. “Try it. It’s the only real way to fly.” With that he climbed down a few rungs to give me space.

  I walked to the edge again, but instead of looking down, I looked out, closed my eyes, and believed I could fly. Moments later, I was wet. The water was cold, considering I had pretty much dried off waiting at the top of the board. The lack of oxygen burned my lungs, and I realized I had been under the water for too long. I kicked my legs and raced back to the surface. The first thing I heard when I emerged was the sound of cheering.

  Since then, I still haven’t loved heights, and I never jumped off the board again, but I can tolerate it now. I guess I should be glad that kid helped me with my fear of heights, because free falling from a ship that was flying just barely above the clouds is not something I would have been able to handle.

  At first, I don’t know what happened on the ship. Darkness surrounds me, and air rushes up around me. I’m reminded of the time Kyle made me jump off the platform when we went to find Kelton. I was terrified then, and I’m terrified now. The difference is there’s no rope tied around my waist to ensure my safe landing and I’m much higher up now. I force myself to look down and realize I’m much closer to the ground than I thought. If I hit the ground at this rate, I will die, but I don’t see many other options.

  Snap! Something hits me in the face. The cord from my backpack hits me, and I know exactly what Kelton gave me. I pull the cord and a parachute erupts over my head. The air catches in the tarp as I feel a slight tug upward.

  “Ahhhhh,” I hear someone scream. I look to my right and see
Kyle falling much faster than me toward the ground. I pull the cord again and the tarp folds back into the pack. I start falling faster and the ground becomes clearer. I reach out and grab Kyle’s shirt, which is ballooning up around him.

  I pull the cord once more, but nothing happens. I look up and see that the latch on the pack is jammed. I whip my free hand back, find the latch, and unclasp it. By now, I can see some of the details on the pavement below. We’re getting close enough that the landing won’t be soft, but we also won’t die. The tarp has ballooned upward again and I feel a slight tug.

  “Don’t worry,” I say. He looks at me and smiles.

  We reach the ground safely a minute later, and I realize there’s a lake five feet in front of us. The water is dark and murky and I can only imagine what must live beneath the surface.

  “Are you okay?” Kyle’s voice cuts the silence that filled the air.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I say, breathless. “What happened?”

  “All I remember is an explosion and Daniel pushing me. Everything went black after that.”

  “Daniel,” I say before looking to the water. I take the pack off my back and dive into the lake, even though I know I won’t be able to see anything. I hear Kyle’s muffled voice shout to me, but I can’t make out what he says. I kick down farther into the water, my outstretched arms pulling water behind me and pushing me forward. I try to feel around in the dark, see if there’s anything familiar.

  Too long. I’ve been under for too long, and my lungs burn because of the lack of oxygen. I paddle up to the surface, take a quick breath, and dive under once more. Nothing. I push back to the surface and nearly run into Kyle.

  “What are you doing here?” My voice comes out breathless and rushed.

  “I’ve been trying to tell you that I found him,” he says. “He’s closer to the shore. Come on, I’ll show you.”

  He swims back to the shore and motions for me to follow him. He stops before he gets on land and points toward a body, lying facedown in the water. I swim faster than before and reach him in no time. Kyle and I pull him onshore and lay him on his back.

  “What should we do?” Kyle asks. “Do you think he’s dead?”

  “I don’t know,” I say, tears flooding my eyes and mixing with the water from the lake. He can’t be dead, I think. Not Daniel. Not again. I step away from his limp body and turn toward the lake. I can see smoke off in the distance, which I assume to be from the ship. Before I can stop myself, I scream at the top of my lungs and sink to my knees.

  Kyle touches my shoulder, trying to comfort me, but my vision remains blurry with tears. My sobs make my whole body shudder. The last thing we did was fight, and I never truly forgave him. And now I never will be able to.

  “What just happened?” My voice trails off and I realize that I already know the answer. I should have realized it sooner, but I was busy. With what, I’m not sure. “I should have just left right away and married Daniel like I’ve always wanted.”

  “You didn’t know this was going to happen,” Kyle says, his voice comforting. “Even if you did, how could we have prevented it from happening? They were one step ahead the whole time.”

  “They,” I whisper, absentmindedly. Then I snap back to focus. “Their plan all along was to kill us. They were never on our side. I should have listened to you guys when you told me not to trust him.”

  “You didn’t know what was going to happen,” he says again. “None of us knew.”

  “I knew,” a voice from behind me says, a voice that I know too well. Daniel.

  I turn around and blink at him in disbelief for a moment, not trusting what my eyes are seeing. I must be imagining things. I must be delusional. But no, he’s lying on his back, his eyes open, and his chest moving up and down to the rhythm of his breathing. I blink again, trying to clear the image of him, alive, right before me. He turns his head slightly, so he’s facing Kyle and me, and offers a weak smile.

  “You’re… alive?” The words barely escape my mouth, and when they do, they’re barely above a whisper. I spin around fast and tackle him with an embrace. “You’re alive,” I say with more assurance.

  “Yeah,” he says as he sits up slowly, resting his hand on my back to steady me in his lap. “I think I just went unconscious. What happened?”

  “Kelton blew up the ship,” I say releasing him.

  “Yeah, he told me,” Daniel says. “He told me everything.”

  “Why would he tell you everything? When did he tell you everything?”

  “He told me the night when I jumped out of the window,” he says.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” My tone comes out louder and fiercer than I wanted, but I’m infuriated. “All of this could have been prevented-”

  “I didn’t say anything because he threatened to kill you,” he says softly.

  I stare at him in shock, not wanting to believe what he’s saying.

  “Why would he kill Zandrea?” Kyle’s voice comes out small and weak, unusual for him.

  “Because he’s Chris’s son,” Daniel says bluntly. “Why wouldn’t he?”

  My jaw drops at this news as I realize everything that I had done. “I’m no better than my mother,” I say. They turn their heads to look at me. “I was always so concerned about what was going to happen to her with Chris, but I really should have been worrying about myself with Kelton. How could I have been so stupid? Here I am criticizing my mother about her boyfriend when I’m probably worse off anyway.”

  “You didn’t know,” Daniel says. “I should have at least hinted to you about it. I guess I didn’t do everything I could have. I’m so sorry.”

  Kyle says, “So everything was fake?”

  “Yeah, I guess so,” Daniel replies.

  “I wonder if our mother knew,” I comment.

  “It depends on how much Chris told her, but my guess is she knew something about the whole operation,” Daniel says. “He can’t keep a secret forever.”

  “I don’t think he was planning on saying anything about Kelton, though, either,” I say.

  “Probably not,” Daniel replies. “I think that was part of his plan.”

  “So,” Kyle starts. “When did he tell you? That he was Chris’s son, I mean.”

  “Well, the story begins with me jumping out of a window and landing on a platform below,” he states. “As soon as he saw me, he punched me clear in the jaw. Max and David came soon to help him out. Before I completely go unconscious, he whispers to me who he really is. At that point, I was too out of it to fight back. He locked me in a cage and told me I would never see the light of day again. Obviously, that didn’t happen.”

  “It was his idea to get you back,” Kyle points out. “He could’ve left you to die, and we never would have suspected a thing. Why would he do that?”

  “I don’t know,” Daniel replies. “Maybe he decided to prolong my death. Make sure you guys were there to see it.”

  “He’s dramatic, I’ll give him that,” I say.

  “Speaking of dramatic,” Kyle says. “The leader of the Corps’ son decides to take us up in a ship and crash it. Does he realize he just as easily could’ve locked us up and killed us that way?”

  “Yeah, because his idea went totally wrong, and we’re all still alive,” I say. “I mean, if he wanted us dead, why did he give me that parachute?”

  “Who knows why evil geniuses do anything that they do?” Daniel slowly brings himself to his feet. “Anyways, we should probably get back to the hangar and find a ship to really take us home.”

  “Hold on,” I say, sudden panic taking over because I’m thinking of my father and how we didn’t see him after the crash. After everything that has happened these last few weeks, I’m surprised he wasn’t my first concern. “I have to go check something.”

  “We’ll come with you,” Kyle says.

  “No,” I reply. “It’s too dangerous.”

  “That’s why we’re coming with you,” Daniel says. “It’s too
dangerous to go alone.”

  “Shouldn’t you go find us a ship?” They both shake their heads. I sigh. “Alright. Follow me.”

  We walk for a little while, toward the site of the crash. The shadows from the buildings help us blend into the night. The wind brushes my hair back and forth in front of my face, causing my vision to break. Kyle stays close behind me and Daniel leads the way through mazes of streets and pathways. The whole time we walk, I’m distracted by the thought of Kelton being related to Chris. I think back to the conversation I overheard before I left. My mom was with Chris, talking about his son and how she was excited to meet him. I recall all of the lies he told me while we were together. My face flushes with anger.

  “Are you okay?” Kyle’s voice breaks my angry trance and forces me back to reality. He points at my hand, which I find is curled in a fist.

  I release my grip and reply with a calm, “Yes.”

  “You don’t always have to be okay, you know that right?” He says it quietly, as if he’s not sure this advice would suffice.

  “I know,” I say. “Really, though, I’m fine. Just lost in thought I guess.”

  “Understandable,” he says. “A lot has happened these last few weeks.”

  More than you know, I want to tell him, but I can’t, and I’m not sure if he would understand.

  Daniel stops a few minutes after walking in silence for a while. The alleys created by the lofty buildings around us provide a path back to the Corps’ headquarters. The shadows of the buildings make the night seem even darker and our path seem even more dangerous than it once was. Kyle hangs close behind me, and me behind Daniel. Something, a bottle, drops and crashes on the pavement next to us. Me, being as on edge as I am, jump and grab Daniel’s hand. The warmth of it calms me because I feel as though it connects me to him, and I’m jolted by the feeling of longing panging inside my chest. He glances back at me and I release my grip, but his hand doesn’t return to his side. Instead he reaches back and I tentatively grasp his hand in mine, the heat a reassurance that he isn’t going anywhere.

  He looks around the corner of the building we’ve reached, but nothing greets us. I wonder if maybe the bottle crashing was just some animal or homeless person. Coreno was full of homeless people until a few months before I left six years ago. The government made a new policy, the first one in decades, that if you did not have a government-issued house and were living on the streets, you must enroll in the military forces. To some people, that seemed better than starving and freezing every day and night, but others didn’t like the idea of being forced to do things, like putting your life on the line for some strangers.