by Kim Nash
There was an itinerary on the bed. The ship set sail at four thirty p.m., a formal dinner would be served at seven p.m. in the dining room and then by the time we woke tomorrow, we would have arrived in Bari. We were free to leave the ship to explore during the day, then we set sail for Athens the following evening at six p.m.
‘How do you fancy going to explore before we get ready for dinner, Mum?’
‘I could murder a G&T’ she replied with a huge grin. ‘Do you think we might find a bar?’
‘I should think there’s a very good chance of that. Let’s go.’ We linked arms as we pottered off to explore. We were just heading for the top deck, when over the tannoy came an announcement to report to the dining room for the lifeboat drill. It was all very serious but Mum kept making me laugh and one of the attendants told us off for not paying attention.
Once the drill was over, we made our way to the top deck, which was now starting to fill up and sat on two stools at the bar and found ourselves drinking Cosmopolitans. Mum wanted a G&T but the waiter, who introduced himself as Lorenzo (bronzed and tall, with floppy black hair, twinkly almost-black eyes, and a very sexy Italian accent) persuaded her to try a cocktail instead. If I had suggested it she would never have had one, but as she took the drink from him, he brushed his hand against hers, and as she sipped at it, she smiled at him and almost purred that it was the best drink she had ever had. She was such a bloody flirt. How had I never noticed this before?
Taking a leaf out of Mum’s book, I fluttered my eyelashes at him seductively but when he handed me mine, he also passed me a tissue, asking me if I had something in my eye. Mum found that so hilarious she nearly fell off her chair. Cheers for that Mum. It made me wonder how mums, have the knack of making you feel like a helpless child all over again, even though you are an adult.
Lorenzo went off to serve a couple at the other end of the bar and Mum and I chatted about what we were going to wear that night to the Captain’s welcome dinner.
A bell rang to signify that the ship was setting sail and a huge cheer went up from the deck. Mum was like a child in a sweetshop as she ran from one side of the ship to the other, worried that she might miss something as the ship sailed through the heart of Venice along the Guidecca Canal. As we passed palazzos, churches and St Mark’s Square, I realised why sailing out of Venice was regarded as one of the world’s most memorable cruise experiences.
When we got back to our room, there was a mini bottle of champagne on the dressing table in an ice bucket along with two flutes and a bowlful of chocolate-dipped strawberries. I poured us a glass each and smiled listening to Mum in the shower singing ‘It’s Amore’. She asked me to put her make-up on for her and I realised that I had never spent time doing things like this with Mum and it was lovely to be doing it. Feeling warm and gushy, I vowed to myself there and then that I would make more of an effort to be friends with Mum as well as her daughter.
We were both ever so slightly tipsy as we negotiated our way to the dining room. All the floors looked the same when you were sober, let alone half sloshed on champers and we had no idea how we managed to locate both the dining room and our table and lo and behold, we were only on the Captain’s table. Mum couldn’t believe her luck when she found herself sitting next to the man himself as she fell into her seat. It wasn’t the most graceful entrance she’d ever made, and we both tittered like teenagers as she dropped her handbag on the floor and the clasp came open and her lipstick and a packet of indigestion tablets fell out, along with a pair of pop socks. She giggled as she gathered them back into her bag and winked at me as all the other diners stared at us. We certainly weren’t subtle in our arrival. We paced ourselves with a glass of water between each glass of wine and as we had started to eat too, didn’t feel the effects too much.
The Captain introduced himself to Mum and asked her what she did for a living. She explained that she was a dinner lady at the local primary school. Mum once confessed to me that the reason she took this was because she loved being around young children. She had admitted that because I was now single and with no sign of Mr Right on the horizon, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be a grandmother, so this was her way of getting to watch school plays and be part of the school community, which she’d missed out on so much when I was a child because she was always busy working, trying to keep a roof over our heads. She was such a proud lady and wouldn’t have dreamt of accepting hand-outs from anyone, and had brought me up to be hardworking, honest and to have integrity. Back then, she worked part-time in an office during the day, and then did the odd shift in the local pub. She also did a couple of cleaning jobs and took in ironing, which she could do at home, frequently standing and ironing late into the night. I never appreciated until I grew up just how hard she worked and how much she relied on Aunty Jen and Uncle Tom, who would always look after me when Mum needed them to.
Mum’s parents had both died in the last few years and even though they’d disowned her when they found out she was pregnant, she’d inherited enough money to pay off her mortgage. She took the dinner lady job mainly for enjoyment but also for a little bit of pocket money. She didn’t want for much in her life so it suited her just fine and the local children and parents totally adored her. They made her a guest of honour at their school plays and concerts and always saved a seat for her in the front row. She also helped with a reading group at school too. Some of the children were struggling with their reading skills and as an avid reader, it was something that was incredibly important to Mum and she loved being able to play her part in helping the local children to read.
Watching Mum charming the pants off the Captain all the way through dinner made me realise that I didn’t really know her at all and I was determined to find out more about her on this holiday.
* * *
Swishing curtains and blinding brightness woke me, and Mum exclaiming ‘Oh my word!’ made me sit up and look out of the patio doors. ‘Oh my word’ indeed. The sun poured through the windows and the view of white-washed buildings with blue roofs, told us that we had arrived in Greece.
‘Come on Maddy, get your dressing gown on, we can drink our tea out on the balcony.’ I hadn’t even heard Mum making any tea, obviously the swaying of the boat had lulled me into the land of nod where I’d stayed till this time. I looked at my watch. How on earth had I slept till eight a.m.? And despite having had a little drinkie or two, ok, three – maybe four – last night, I was feeling relatively rejuvenated.
Mum read out the tours for the day, but they all sounded a bit energetic so we agreed that once we’d docked, we’d go into Athens and have a wander around on our own, then have a late lunch before heading back to the ship. We found a wonderful restaurant hidden up a side alley which the taxi driver had recommended after giving us a whistlestop tour. Tucking into chicken kebabs, pitta bread and tzatziki, while bouzouki music played in the background, we enjoyed a glass of chilled rosé as we watched the world go by. We were making such amazing memories on this trip and I took a quick photo on my phone and WhatsApped it to Beth. She replied with a smiley face. It was so nice to be sitting, whiling away some hours with Mum, and I was finally starting to relax and Mum and I chatted more easily than we’d ever done before.
‘Can I ask you something, Mum?’
‘Of course, darling.’
‘How do you feel about Edward?’
‘Ah, Edward. He’s lovely.’
‘He is lovely, Mum. Do you see a future with him?’
‘Who knows what the future will hold darling, who knows? We’ll just see what happens. What’s meant to be will be.’
I supposed it was better to be like that than worrying about the future. She was so wise and I felt that I had a lot to learn from her even after all these years.
* * *
Another delicious meal that evening saw us sat with a whole new group of people, which comprised of two married couples and a family. I’d always thought cruises were for the older age range, but clearly times had c
hanged and now it was becoming a really popular holiday choice for families too.
Mum loved the fact that there was a full-sized theatre on board. She’d found out from the people beside her that there was what promised to be a ‘totally incredible illusion show, which would blow your mind’ – and it most certainly did. We were totally astonished by the trickery and magic that left us completely baffled. When they asked for some audience participation, I was so surprised when Mum raised her hand and yelled ‘Me, me!’ at the top of her voice. It was obviously loud enough to catch the attention of the show’s main illusionist who asked her to join him on stage. Mum had no inhibitions, and I started to remember that she had been like this before, when I was younger, and at an age where I found it embarrassing. I had told her so, in a huge row one day, so she had toned it all down, for me. Now I was older, and seeing her as a person in her own right, other than my mum, I found it enchanting, and I stood and clapped her back to her seat when she’d done her part in the show.
‘You’re amazing Mum. I do love you!’ She smiled and kissed me on the cheek as she sat back in her chair, her eyes sparkling and mischievous. How did I not know this side of her? How refreshing to get to know her properly after all this time.
‘Come on darling, let’s hit the casino.’ Determined to make the most of every minute she was on board this floating hotel, she grabbed my hand and I laughed as she led me into yet another part of the ship, that we hadn’t explored fully. It would appear that she’d been doing her homework. Satisfied, when she ended the night a hundred euros up, we headed off to bed quite exhausted.
* * *
It was incredibly refreshing to wake up in a different place each day, and the following morning we opened the curtains to a view of mountains and cream houses with terracotta roofs clustered on the hillsides. The tannoy announced our arrival in Dubrovnik.
After breakfast was served on the decking overlooking the port, we took the shuttle bus into the Old Town. The streets of the centre looked as if someone had been up polishing them all night. It was the cleanest place I had ever seen. We spent a day wandering through the pedestrian-only streets, visiting Baroque churches and stunning palazzos and sat people-watching in a little café where we drank freshly brewed coffee and ate pastries.
We were shattered by the time we returned to the ship, and had a lie down for half an hour out on the balcony before getting ready for what turned out to be the most exquisite five-course evening meal. To be honest, I was ready for bed after that, but Mum insisted that we could sleep when we got home, and should appreciate every single opportunity that we had on the cruise, so we ended up watching a cabaret singer in one of the larger bars on board. A saunter around the top deck before bed made us both really weary, but what a magical day we had had and what wonderful memories we had made.
* * *
The next day was a sailing day as we headed back to Venice, and Mum brought the itinerary out to the balcony as we drank our morning tea. She told me that she was going to pottery painting at ten thirty, and line dancing at three. She invited me to join her but I wasn’t totally sure she wanted me to, so I politely declined and said that I was going to lie on deck with a book and would meet up with her for lunch. I’d brought a book away with me that was all about making lists for the future. I felt that a bit of soul-searching was in order for me to move forward and Beth’s words about what the future held for me had really hit home. I wanted to spend some time thinking about what my hopes and dreams actually were these days. Beth had given me some magazines to look through, to give me some inspiration and told me that when I got back, we were going to spend some time making vision boards. I’d heard of them before, but didn’t really know much about them, but when she explained in a little more detail, and I Googled the definition once I’d gone home, it sounded like a fabulous idea. Beth never ceased to amaze me. I would never have imagined that she would know about things like this, but she told me that she’d been on a course and how she found that it had really helped her. She was going to order us both some cork boards and we were going to make a collage of words, pictures and affirmations of our dreams and desires. Apparently, when you put all these things together and applied the law of attraction, it would give you the motivation and inspiration to make all your wishes come true. It sounded too good to be true to me, and all a bit mumbo jumbo, but I was willing to give anything a go these days.
* * *
After breakfast, Mum went off to her class and I ordered a coffee from the bar and chose a sunbed overlooking the pool and jacuzzi areas. I sat and pondered life and what I was going to do with my future.
I allowed my mind to wander, and must have drifted off to sleep as I felt a shake of my arm and came to, to see Mum standing over me, saying that she had finished her pottery class and was starving. I couldn’t believe that after another mammoth sleep in, I’d then slept again. I was supposed to be filling my lists in. Although I supposed there would be plenty of time to do that over the next few weeks. We pottered off to the self-service buffet restaurant and surprised ourselves by filling our plates and scoffing the lot. Perhaps the sea air was giving us both an appetite.
People were wandering up to Mum while we were eating and chatting and laughing with her and I’d never seen her look so happy. I was now seeing Mum as Josie, a really kind, funny friend of mine who was incredibly good company, instead of just my mum.
After lunch we just sat around on deck, chatting. Being in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight, with a book in one hand and a cocktail in the other, made me feel incredibly at peace with the world. Nothing was required of me; food and drink were available at every moment of every day, and there was no worrying about the challenges and chores of work, which had taken over my life for so long. And more than anything, I was having a really lovely time with my mum. While she went off to her line-dancing session, I pondered life and realised that as we were heading back, there were some very important decisions that I really needed to make my mind up about.
* * *
As we sailed back into Venice we stood side by side on deck, with our arms around each other, taking in the spectacular sights as we sailed past the Piazza San Marco and the entrance to the Grand Canal before docking in port. Sadly, we hadn’t seen much of Venice as we’d flown straight in and would fly straight back out again, but we made a pact there and then to come back for a weekend really soon together and properly see the sights.
After a short wait in one of the bars, we disembarked and were ushered to an awaiting coach where, after a swift journey back to the airport, we were whisked through all the airport necessities and back onto a plane travelling back to the heady heights of the West Midlands. Mum looked exhausted as she laid her head on my shoulder and fell asleep before we’d even taken off.
As we flew over the clouds, my mind wandered off at a million miles an hour, and my dad popped into my head again. I found myself wondering again what he looked like, whether he was still alive, whether he’d ever had children – which meant that I might have brothers and sisters – and how Mum might feel if I ever decided I wanted to contact him. So many questions that I still wanted to ask were unfolding every time I allowed myself to think about him, but I was so grateful that I had more answers now than I’d ever had before.
When we sat in the taxi back to Giddywell from the airport, and spots of warm summer rain appeared on the window of the car, I wondered if that spectacular trip had really happened or if it was all a dream.
Chapter Nineteen
My first day back after the cruise was going to be a home day consisting of cleaning, washing and ironing, so I decided to make some homemade sausage rolls and cheese pies before I got started on the housework. I still couldn’t believe I was cooking and baking. I had surprised myself by finding out that I was actually pretty good at it.
Not having time before for cooking, had made me think that I couldn’t do it. Eating home-cooked food was healthier and I enjoyed spending time doi
ng it. Meals were all about the convenience these days, yet some of the things that our parents used to have to do, such as peeling the potatoes and preparing veg, filled time and were relaxing and seen as downtime from work. Quite proud of my pies and rolls, I left them to cool and thought I’d pop some round to Mum’s on the way to the supermarket early that evening. Daft as it sounded, after spending all that lovely time with her I’d felt quite lonely last night and I missed her company.
As the food was cooling on the side I went upstairs to sort and gather the washing from my suitcase. Baxter was sitting in his basket, licking his lips ecstatically and looking mighty proud of himself when I came down – and then I noticed the half eaten sausage rolls on the side. The little bugger had only gone and helped himself. Clearly nothing was safe, and it reminded me to make sure that any food left on the side was clearly be put away before I went anywhere.
Annoyed that I’d wasted time, and hadn’t got anything to take to Mum’s, I popped to the supermarket and grabbed the essentials I needed and a bunch of flowers for Mum. She always loved fresh flowers. I decided to get some for Beth too, to thank her for such an amazing gift.
When I arrived, raised voices could be heard from outside the front door. I knew that Edward was there because his car was on the drive. I knocked on the door, let myself in and quietly said ‘hello!’ But they clearly didn’t hear me, because they didn’t stop shouting at each other. My first thought was surprise that things weren’t hunky-dory between them, as I had imagined.
I didn’t know whether to go in or not, so I stood for a moment outside the kitchen door leaning against the hall wall.