by Kim Nash
‘What do you think, Mum?’
‘To be honest, darling, I was going to say stay away from him. He hurt you so much and as your mum, the last thing you want to see is your child being distressed but perhaps Edward is right. Perhaps if you don’t try, you’ll never know if someone has changed, or whether you want to be with them.’
Mum somehow, in her tiddly state, managed to put some nibbles together to soak up the gin, although Edward did make her sit down at one point, and took over, as she was getting a little lairy, waving a knife around as she was talking to us. I asked Edward if his offer of a lift home still stood. Even though I hadn’t made any decisions about the Jamie situation, it really had helped to talk about it.
When I got in the passenger seat of his car, Edward smiled at me and we chatted amiably for the journey. He was so easy to talk to. I could definitely see why Mum liked him.
When we arrived at Giddywell Grange, he said how lovely the barn was and as he had offered to carry my shopping in with me, I invited him in to have a quick look around. He stroked Baxter as we walked into the kitchen and he started to bark and ran off excitedly. I almost died of shame when I was giving Edward a guided tour and Baxter ran into the dining room with a pair of very small, red flimsy pants, and started to fling them around, up in the air and brought them over to Edward to throw for him. I didn’t know where to put myself as I wrestled them off him which he thought was even more fun and started doing doggy tug of war.
‘You should maybe buy him some toys, you know.’ Edward laughed and it eased some of my horror. ‘I’ll go and leave you to it. Looks like someone wants your attention.’ We both laughed.
As Edward walked out of the front door, he turned to look at me. ‘Your father was a complete fool, you know Madison. A huge fool! You look just like your Mum, you know. You’re both beautiful and funny and kind.’
‘Ooh you old smoothie!’ I batted his arm and leant across and kissed his cheek. He raised his hand in a wave as he drove away. He definitely reminded me of someone. It must be an actor or someone off the TV. I was sure that it would come to me eventually.
* * *
Work the next day was so busy that I didn’t really have much time to think about anything in particular, which was a good thing. I’d managed to avoid calls from Jamie and dropped him a brief text, saying that I needed some time to think and that I’d get in touch with him when I was ready. I didn’t hear back from him so could only assume that he had accepted my need for some time.
A night in, in my PJs was on the cards, but before that, I needed to pop into the local supermarket. I’d bought some new fairy lights at the weekend, and I’d wound them round the beams in the lounge but realised when I went to plug them in that they needed batteries and weren’t the plug-in kind. I needed to stock up on a few bits and bobs but I couldn’t remember what I needed because I’d left my list on the dining room table, so ended up grabbing a packet of chocolate fingers and the batteries.
When I went to the checkout till, there was a new young lad who I’d not seen before. He looked really pleasant and was chatting nicely to those in the queue before me. When my items moved up the conveyor belt he looked at what I’d bought, winked at me and said ‘Blimey, you look like you’re in for a good night!’ Totally mortified, I grabbed my stuff, handed over a fiver and told him to keep the change.
Chapter Eighteen
The following day, when I went to visit Beth, I was totally gobsmacked when she told me what she’d been up to.
She’d only gone and booked a surprise holiday for me and Mum. The last time I went away with Mum was when I was fifteen. We couldn’t afford many holidays in those days but Mum had been working extra shifts and had saved up enough to go on a caravan holiday to Cornwall. It was lovely, apart from the fact that I was fifteen and hormonal and a bit bored, and to add to my dismay and disappointment that we weren’t spending a week in the Med, like most of the kids at school, the car broke down on the way there and we had to wait for four hours to get the rescue services out. Not the best start.
As it was a caravan holiday and I was a lazy teenager, I suppose all it really meant for Mum was that she got to cook and clean in a different place to home. I never realised this till years later and it was probably too late to apologise then. And the rain! It never stopped all week. Mum must have felt awful. Why hadn’t I seen it at the time?
Since I’d been working, I’d never again planned a UK holiday. I made sure that even if it meant scrimping and saving, I’d go abroad. I never wanted to go back to Cornwall and have a holiday like that again.
But the tickets, which Beth now handed me, showed that we were going somewhere way further than Cornwall. The tickets were for a Mediterranean cruise.
‘Bloody hell, Beth. I can’t accept this. This is a crazy present.’ I looked at the dates. It was in three days’ time. For a split second, I thought that I’d never have time to get work sorted to be ready for then. Then reality hit again. I didn’t work at Ronington’s anymore. I could actually go on holiday not worrying about a thing, apart from having no work, no plans and wondering what the hell was going to happen in my life once Beth was better.
‘It’s not as generous as it looks,’ she said. ‘I’d booked those dates for myself and then obviously ended up having the op, so wouldn’t be able to go. And to be honest, it was never going to work out, me not being around for the dogs. I’d miss them too much and Dad would never cope without me.’
‘But Beth, it must have cost you a small fortune.’
‘Actually, I haven’t told anyone this, but I won it in a competition. I’ve been entering lots of competitions recently and couldn’t believe my luck when I won this one. So it hasn’t cost me a penny. I’ve already checked and transferred it over into your names. You just need to ring the cruise line and confirm your passport numbers and Bob’s your uncle. I’m not taking no for an answer. I do hope your mum has got a passport.’
I supposed I’d better check with Mum as soon as I could.
‘But what about the kennels? And what about Baxter? I can’t go swanning off on a cruise.’
‘Yes, you can. Alex is going to be back here for a few days, because I was going anyway and young Russell has agreed to do extra hours too. Baxter can come and stay over here at the farm with me when he’s not over at the kennels. It’s only for a long weekend and it’s all already organised. It’s just something from us here to say thank you for all that you’ve done for us. We couldn’t have managed these last few weeks without you and you’ll need to work your backside off when you come back too. Ring your mum now and tell her Mads. Go on, I want to be with you when you tell her.’
‘Beth, this is just amazing. Are you absolutely sure?’
‘I couldn’t be surer, Mads.’
Maddy leaned across and gave her a hug.
‘Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is just amazing. Right, I’m going to ring Mum right now.’ I couldn’t stop smiling.
‘Hey Mum, how are you?’
‘Oh Madison, my darling, how lovely to hear from you. It does make my day when you call.’
I smiled then realised that she couldn’t see me. ‘Well, I might make your day even more now, Mum. What are you doing Friday onwards for the next few days?’
‘Mmm, that sounds mysterious. Now, let me check.’ I could hear Mum’s heels click-clacking across the tiled kitchen floor, and could just imagine her checking the calendar which was – and has always been – pinned to the fridge door. ‘Well it’s knit and natter on tomorrow morning at the wool shop in the village, and book club on Wednesday evening at the library. Apart from that, from Thursday onwards I have no plans apart from dull stuff like food shopping. Why do you ask?’
‘Because, Mother, you and I are going on a cruise.’ I laughed as I heard Mum gasp.
‘Whatever do you mean, Madison? A cruise? Goodness me! I haven’t been on holiday for years. Ooh, hold on dear, I think I need to sit down. I feel all discombobulated.’
I explained Beth’s plans and could hear the excitement Mum’s voice. ‘Well I never. What do I need to take? Whatever do you wear on a cruise? Do I need some new clothes? Oh Lordy, imagine me on a cruise. What will my friends say! They’ll think I’m getting above my station. Oh bugger, where’s my passport?’
‘Ah well, that answers one of my questions. I didn’t know whether you had one.’
‘I do. I’ve never used it but I had one just in case I met a millionaire sugar daddy and he whisked me off somewhere exotic on his private jet.’ She giggled. ‘Can you imagine? “Oh darling, I’d love to come to the Maldives for a passionate week away on a desert island, but I don’t have a passport.” Doesn’t sound very spontaneous, does it, if I’d have to ask him for a lift to the passport office in Liverpool first and queue all day to get one sorted out?’
I marvelled at her optimism.
‘Well, there’s nothing like wishful thinking. I like your style. Shall I come over later Mum and we can have a cuppa and a chat about what we need to do?’
‘Yes please darling, how exciting. I can’t believe it! Come for dinner, I’ll cook us something nice. Goodness me, I need a lie down. I’m all of a dither. Whatever do I need to pack? Where’s my suitcase? What shoes should I take? Are my clothes glamorous enough for a cruise? Goodness me, what will my book club girls say when I tell them? They’ll think I’ve won the lottery and gone all posh on them. How funny! But what will I pack? Oh Maddy, what will I do?’
At what stage of life, I wondered, did the tables turn? When did the parent become the child and vice versa? It seemed to happen seamlessly – no apparent signs but one day, it just flipped. Now Mum was the nervous one asking questions and I was the one who had all the answers.
I arrived just before lunch and she’d made my favourite dinner of minced beef suet crust pie and mash. A list of questions had been left on the kitchen table for me, that she’d been working on since we’d spoken, and we started to work our way through them and get her the answers that she needed.
Her excitement was contagious.
In the last few years, Mum had driven me mad – always calling when I was just about to go into a meeting, or when I was with someone really important at work. I was always too busy to talk and found her calls a burden. But now it was as though she was a completely different person to me. She was still my mum, who I knew and loved, but also, I was really enjoying spending time with her and discovering things about her that I either didn’t know or had forgotten. I’d spent more time with her over the last few weeks than I had for years.
And the nice thing was that I felt that she needed me in her life. However, she was now looking at me nervously and I asked her what was wrong. She said that she’d already asked her friend’s daughter to go to the shops with her tomorrow.
‘I could take you shopping for some new stuff, Mum, if you’d like me to.’
‘Oh no Maddy, don’t worry, dear. You’ll be far too busy to bother yourself with me. Julie said she’s really happy to come with me; she often helps me out when I need a younger person’s advice about something or a helping hand.’
‘But Mum, why didn’t you ask me? Am I really that awful that you couldn’t ask me something like that?’
‘Well… erm… I… no… erm… Well, yes, actually if truth be told. I may as well say it. You always made me feel like you were too busy to even speak to me, like I was an inconvenience. So I’d never even think to ask for your time in coming shopping with me.’
Sitting down on the arm of the settee, I couldn’t believe that this horrible person that she was talking about was me. ‘God Mum, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise.’
‘You were just so busy all the time darling, I didn’t feel like I could bother you.’
Sometimes, we hurt others more than we realise. Sometimes we don’t notice a smile that fades in front of our eyes or realise that we are the reason for the sadness in someone’s heart or the tears in their eyes. I was so glad that I was getting the chance to put things right with Mum. I knew that Beth had real regrets over not telling her mum things and when she was so quickly and cruelly snatched away, she never had the chance. I had the chance and was going to make damn sure to make the most of it.
‘Ring Julie, Mum, and tell her it’s ok but I’m taking you.’ The smile on Mum’s face said everything.
‘Will you stay tonight, Maddy? We could have fish and chips and a bottle of wine and your old bedroom is all made up. You could help me get my suitcase down from the loft.’ Mum’s face lit up again when I said, ‘I’d love to.’
* * *
Feeling totally stuffed after Mum’s fabulous suet crust meat pie, mash and veg, we fired up Mum’s old laptop and over a glass of wine, got on the internet and looked at dress codes for cruises and videos of what went on, on a cruise. By the end of the evening, we had two lists. One list was for things that Mum already had that she could take, and the other was for things that she needed to get. I went to bed with a smile on my face, knowing that we’d got plans to go shopping the next day to get all the stuff we needed. Maybe I might even splash some of my redundancy money and treat myself, I thought. I wasn’t sure my designer power suits would see me being cruise-ready. It would do me good to get away and not have to think about the future for a few days. I had some big decisions to make. I hadn’t got back to Geoff yet, and needed to make a decision about Jamie too. Perhaps some time away from home would help me to see things a little more clearly and find some resolution.
* * *
We burst through the front door and flung our bags on the hall floor; the handles had left sore red marks on our palms. We’d got quite a stash.
‘Oooh I’m gagging for a cuppa and bursting for the loo! Not sure what to do first. Put the kettle on, Madison, and we can have a look through all those bags at what we’ve got then, shall we?’ Mum was glowing with happiness. We’d had such a nice day out. Grabbing the train from the local station was the best way of heading into Birmingham and we’d been spoilt for choice with the new Grand Central shopping centre and the Bull Ring when we got there.
The last time I’d been shopping with Mum was when she’d had to get an outfit for Jen’s funeral so that hadn’t been the most joyous of shopping trips. But today really had been such fun. Mum had laughed as she turned this way and that, checking herself out in the mirror while working her way through a massive pile of clothes that she’d somehow persuaded the shop assistant to take in with her even though you were only meant to have four at a time. It was more like a personal shopping event. And she’d even splashed out on new make-up when someone in a department store offered to give her a free make-over and she’d loved her glamorous new look.
And for the first time in years, I’d bought some summery maxi dresses, that I could wear with either a denim jacket if it was a bit nippy in the evenings, a little cardy or even a stole or wrap. Today had been lots of fun. It gave me immense pleasure to see Mum enjoying herself. We needed to do this more often. Perhaps this was what Beth was thinking of when she said I needed to have more fun. I was beginning to think that perhaps she knew exactly what she was talking about after all. I really did need to lighten up and get out more.
The next couple of days flew by, with endless phone calls between Mum and me, chatting about our forthcoming trip and our day of travel soon came round. The ship was sailing from Venice, so we were booked on a plane out of Birmingham and Uncle Tom was going to take us to the airport. Thank goodness, he was going to use Beth’s car and not his stinky old four-wheel drive.
Mum was so very excited; she’d never been on a plane before. There was me, who flew up to Scotland for work at least once a month, taking the experience for granted and she was like a toddler, excited about this being her first time. She held my hand as we took off, and I could see the exhilaration in her face as the plane tore up the runway and lifted off the ground. She whooped with joy and the other passengers laughed kindly at her enthusiasm as she explained she was
a flight virgin.
It was a really smooth flight, for which I was most grateful. I didn’t want a bit of bumpy old turbulence to put her off ever doing it again. Her smile was bigger than I’d ever seen as we landed. Her delight was contagious and I found myself being more excited about this cruise than I had felt about anything for a long time. A short coach journey brought us into Venice docks.
‘Bloody hell, would you look at the size of that!’ Mum yelled, much to the disgust of the lady in the seat behind who tutted loudly while the other coach passengers giggled. She winked at me, smiled at the lady behind and turned back to the ship. It was blooming massive. The sheer hugeness of it surprised even me. At sixteen floors, I had no idea how we were going to find our way around the ship, let alone find our cabin!
The luggage check-in line moved quickly and we got through security smoothly and very excitedly boarded the ship. The first things we noticed were the thick, plush carpet, and polished stair rails as we went to find our room. We were in Suite 1404. We loved the fact that they called our cabin a ‘suite’ laughing at how posh it sounded as we made our way to our floor. All we could see ahead of us was one huge, long corridor as we tried to find door 1404.
But what greeted us when we opened the door with the key card, left us totally stunned. It really was a suite, with a lounge area, a bathroom with a huge walk-in shower and an enormous bedroom and a balcony with two rattan sun loungers and matching deck chairs.
‘This can’t be right. This is amazing. I’ll ring down to reception and sort it out. There’s obviously been a mix up.’
‘No Miss Young,’ said the receptionist, when I rang. ‘Suite 1404 is definitely correct for you. The competition prize was for a luxury suite for Miss Beth Millington, all confirmed a few weeks ago and gifted to Miss Madison Young just a few days ago.’
I took a few quick snaps of our amazing suite on my phone and texted them to Beth with a huge thank-you message. The text that came back was a smiley face emoticon and one word – ‘enjoy!’