I Remember You

by Joyce Armor

  She walked up closer to him. Lord have mercy. His five-o’clock shadow and brown coffee eyes still could knock her socks off. He wore sharply creased jeans and a checked blue western shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the collar open, exposing a dusting of chest hair. Boy, did that carry her back. Slut. Hey, I shut you down. Dream on.

  Focus. She approached Brian on still somewhat leaden feet. God, look at him. Who says you can’t go back?

  “Brian?” she said quietly.

  He turned to a middle-aged woman with a pencil behind her ear, holding a clipboard.

  “Call every single dealer again, Evelyn, and tell them to be here thirty minutes early on Saturday.”

  The woman made a notation.

  “And call ABC again about the liquor license.”

  She nodded and walked off and he turned his attention to Ellie. “Hi…what can I…oh my lord, Ellie? Ellie!”

  He grabbed her up in a big bear hug.

  When she could breathe again, she said, “I wasn’t sure you’d remember me.”

  He released her and looked at her in shock. “Are you kidding me? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought of you over the years.”

  A workman approached. “We’re gonna have to drill through the floorboards to run the Keno wire, boss.”

  Brian thought for a moment, then said, “Do it, and before the carpet guys get to that end.”

  “Will do, thanks.” The worker walked off.

  Ellie smiled. “This is great. I always knew you’d rule the world one day. I can see you’re really busy. I’m only in town for a few days and I just wanted to say hello.”

  Brian grabbed her elbow and pulled her aside as a man wheeled a slot machine by on a dolly.

  She felt all tingly. Oh, just throw him on the floor and rip his clothes off.

  “I know. It’s nuts now. Can we get together later?”

  She nodded and told him she was in town for a comix convention.

  “Why am I not surprised?” he smiled.

  “There’s a welcome cocktail party at the Bellagio at 7:30.”

  He squeezed her hand and it sent a buzz up to her shoulder. “I’ll meet you there.”

  Her insides felt all warm and gooey. He really could be the one. “It’s outside by the pool. And business casual.”

  They locked eyes and time stood still. He’s still got it, in spades, even if his towels aren’t fluffy anymore. Even if he has no towels. You’re in big, big trouble.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” he almost whispered. “You’re really here.”

  It’s not like you were in Timbuktu. It’s not like he couldn’t have found you in Bella Casa.

  She didn’t want to be rational. She didn’t want to think. You want to be loved. He kissed her gently on the cheek and her knees went weak. Another workman approached, and Ellie took her leave.

  “Later,” Brian smiled, and not a throwaway smile either. He smiled like he meant it and then, almost reluctantly it seemed, turned his attention to the man.

  She honestly didn’t know if her legs would hold out until she got to the door. The man always did make her go weak in the knees. She knew there were the friends whom you hadn’t seen in years and you could just pick up right where you left off, and the friends that seeing again was just plain awkward. Brian definitely fit in the former category. That slot was made for him. She wanted to see him again but had been totally unprepared for how seeing him would affect her. The man was downright perfect. Perfectly attractive, perfectly masterful, perfectly perfect.

  While Ellie pondered that observation, Brian had a hard time concentrating on his duties at the new casino. How many times had he thought of Ellie Lambert over the years? He didn’t think she’d ever come back to Las Vegas, and he knew he would never leave. She was like an apparition, like his stress had brought her forth, and she was prettier than he had even imagined her. The years had been good to his Ellie. The Bellagio. 7:30. He couldn’t wait.

  * * *

  Russell, dressed in black slacks and a light purple collared shirt, was getting antsy. Tiffy had been in the bathroom for what seemed like an hour. He’d gotten dressed, checked and answered text messages, watched parts of “The Green Mile” and “Kung Fu” on the tube, talked to his mom on the phone and even browsed through the bedside Bible. Finally he got up and walked to the bathroom door.

  “Tiffy, is everything all right in there?”

  “Hashtag, Uncle George visited me yesterday.”

  “Huh?”

  “My…you know…”

  “Huh?”

  “The…the monthly thing.”

  He straightened up, decidedly uncomfortable.

  “Oh, um…” What was he supposed to say to that?

  “I should be okay by tomorrow, but I’ve got really bad cramps. You don’t have any Midol, do you?”

  “Uh…no. What about some other kind of pain reliever?”

  “I forgot to bring any. Hashtag, I’m such a doofus.”

  “No you’re not. Hang in there. I’ll go see if I can find something for you.”

  He was once again heading down the hallway to Ellie’s room when “What a Wonderful World,” his ringtone for his mother, began playing. He pulled his cell from his pocket and stopped, leaning against the wall. “Hey, Ma, what’s up?”

  “Hi, Russ. Are you having a good time with Titty?”

  “That’s Tiffy, Ma, and you know it.”

  “That’s what I meant.”

  “Unh-huh. The convention is great. A lot of fun.”

  He wasn’t about to tell her that he was sharing a bed with Tiffy, but their timing was all off, and he was spending a preponderance of his time thinking about Ellie and enjoying her company way too much.

  “What about the other young woman, the one who was driving? She seemed nice.”

  Geez, was his mother psychic? “Is that why you’re calling, Ma, to check on my social life?”

  “Is that what they call it now?”

  “Ma…”

  “No, I just wanted to let you know…It’s just…Russ, I sold the house.”

  He felt like he got kicked in the stomach. He couldn’t breathe for a moment. He slid down the wall to the floor. He didn’t know what to say.

  “Honey?”

  He closed his eyes, trying to get a grip. Time to put on his big-boy pants. “It’s okay, Ma. Really. I knew it was coming. I know it’s for the best. Don’t worry about me.”

  They talked a bit longer about the buyers, a young couple with two young daughters, and Dee’s immediate and longer-term plans. He promised to stop by and help her pack up the house the following week when he returned from Vegas. When they ended the call, he couldn’t make himself move yet. It was the end of an era. He knew he shouldn’t feel uprooted—he hadn’t even lived in the house for years—but he did. He had to think about why it gave him such a sinking feeling later, when he had more time.

  * * *

  It was 7:15. Ellie, wearing a very sexy, clingy red jersey dress with a semi-plunging neckline, talked on her cell phone as she tried on different jewelry, first a silver combination of necklace and earrings, then a gold bracelet and necklace.

  “I don’t know, Toni, maybe it’s because he’s a known quantity. I don’t have to explain where I went to elementary school. And it doesn’t hurt that he looks good. Really good. He seems more…competent or something, more mature I suppose, more in charge. Not just of his casino, of his life, you know?”

  There was a knock on the door.

  “Someone’s here. I gotta go.” She chose the gold jewelry and searched for some gold earrings. “I promise, you’ll be the first to know. I will. Bye.”

  She ended the call, walked over to the door, looked through the peephole and opened the door to admit Russell, dressed as a civilian. He looked good, too.

  “Whoa,” he said.

  She twirled around. “Is this too much? Does it say ‘trying too hard’?”

  He sucked in a brea
th. “No, it’s…you look nice.”

  “Nice?” She sounded disappointed.

  “Nice is good.”

  “Oh. Thanks. You look nice, too. What’s up?”

  She sat down on the bed and started putting on strappy black heels that said, “Take me now.” Tiffy isn’t the only one who can bring a man to his knees with her footwear. Ellie tried to remove that visual image while Russell struggled with his own desire to throw her back on the bed and rub his well-dressed body all over her. Wait! What was he thinking? Tiffy, Tiffy, that’s what he was thinking.

  “Oh. Oh, yeah…”

  He seemed…not right, not as bouncy as usual. Kind of down, actually.

  “Tiffy has cramps and wondered if you had anything.”

  “I have aspirin. I’ll get it.”

  She studied him. Yep, something was definitely off. “Seems Tiffy didn’t come very prepared.”

  “Yeah. She’s kind of a free spirit.”

  “No,” she said sarcastically.

  Russell watched her sashay toward the bathroom. “He’s going to like that dress.” And even in his sadness over the house sale, Russell wanted to rip it off her right now. Tiffy, think Tiffy. Bloated, whiney Tiffy.

  She started to hand him the aspirin bottle but then suddenly jerked it back. “All right, what’s wrong?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re not teasing me or bugging me or annoying me.”

  “Oh. Sorry.”

  “What is it? Tell me.”

  How was she so attuned to his mood? He thought he was covering it. He was a performer. He should have been able to do that with one hand tied behind his back. He sighed and sat down heavily on the bed. “Oh, it’s dumb. It’s just that my mom sold her house.”

  “Oh? Is she moving out of town?”

  He bent down and scratched his ankle inside his sock. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. She’s going to visit her sister in Dallas for a few days and then come back and get on with her life.”

  He just looked so damned sad. “And this is not good because…”

  He shook his head. “It’s not bad. And it’s not wrong. It’s just…hard. I grew up there and it’s just always been there. All my best memories are there.”

  She looked at him, really looked at him. “No they’re not,” she smiled, placing her hand on his heart. “They’re here.”

  No doubt about it. He was in big, big trouble.

  * * *

  At the romantically lit pool area of the Bellagio, a Jimmy Buffet cover band played beachy music as an eclectic crowd with a definite aging hippy vibe mingled, drinking and munching. Ellie stood chatting with Wesley and Chantella, who looked young and hip as always, he in his leather and chains and she in her silky black dress, nervously watching the entrance from the hotel.

  Chantella patted her arm. “Don’t worry. The dude will show up.”

  “Want me to go get him?” Wesley offered.

  Ellie laughed. “Who are you, the enforcer?”

  She turned, smiling, at a tap on her shoulder until she saw the culprit, Sludge.

  “I’m at the Conchita Motel. Room 223,” the creepy man said.

  Ugh. “Good, then you’re not here,” she replied.

  Russell, still in his street clothes, and Tiffy, in a skintight shiny blue mini-dress and, of course, matching heeled sandals, approached. Sludge looked at Tiffy lasciviously and then turned to Ellie.

  “Never mind.” Then he looked back at Tiffy. “Hello, gorgeous.”

  Ellie squelched down a twinge of pain. God, it even hurt to be rejected by the disgusting Sludge. What’s wrong with you? Even her head voice cringed at that sick thought. Or is it because it’s Tiffy and Russell wants her too. Of course not. That’s ridiculous.

  Russell looked more bored than possessive or miffed. “Frightening the women again?” he practically scoffed.

  Chantella nudged Ellie, indicating the hotel entrance. “Is that him?”

  Brian, wearing spiffy brown slacks, a tan button-down shirt and shiny brown loafers, entered and scanned the area. He spotted Ellie and smiled, and she almost heard a symphony orchestra. What was it about this guy? She wanted to take his fluffy towels and roll in them.

  “You go, girl,” Chantella said.

  Ellie did, gliding toward him. As they met, Brian hugged her warmly as the others in her group stared, somewhat in awe. Russell narrowed his eyes. He didn’t trust guys who were too good looking.

  “You came.”

  “I said I would.” He stepped back and assessed her with a gleaming eye. “Wow, if that’s business casual, I’d hate to see what you wear when you dress up. I don’t think my heart could take it.”

  She basked in the glory of his appreciation, smiling brightly. “You look as handsome as ever.”

  She smiled as he led her to one of the last unoccupied tables. It’s like you’ve never been apart. You can go back! A few minutes later, they both drank imported beer, clicking the bottles in a toast, and enjoyed a few cheesy munchies.

  “…so they’re selling Number One at the auction on Sunday.”

  “It must be worth a lot,” he said.

  “Yeah, if Roger and Bonnie can sell it, it’ll be a real game changer.”

  “Like you leaving Las Vegas.”

  He put his hand on hers. All the hair on her body went on alert.

  “Maybe the grass looked a little greener after I left.”

  He took a long swallow as she watched his incredibly sexy Adam’s apple move up and down, and then he smiled in that dental commercial kind of way. “You accused me of that once before. Are you…is there someone in your life?”

  Inexplicably, a picture of Russell dressed as Muskman flashed in her head and just as quickly disappeared. Thank heavens. “No, I was almost pre-engaged once, but…no. You?”

  He hesitated an uncomfortably long amount of time before he spoke and she felt suddenly nervous. Head Voice was about to say something snarky, no doubt, but she tamped it down. That’s when he said, quietly, “I’m engaged.”

  He might as well have thrown a bucket of ice water on her. And hit her in the head with the ice and the bucket, too. She pulled her hand out from under his as a cocktail waitress brought them fresh beers.

  “Thanks,” Brian said, tipping her before looking back at Ellie, who tried to put on her blankest face. And it was a struggle. “Cindy and I have been engaged for two years. We’ve been together for four. I kept putting off the wedding without knowing exactly why…”

  “You’re not saying…” She couldn’t even finish the sentence.

  He took a long swig of beer and then looked at her thoughtfully. “It’s complicated. Cindy’s father and his partner own Back in the Saddle. That’s how I got the job.”

  Ellie stood. “This has really been fun catching up. I wish you all the luck in the world. Thanks for coming.”

  He stood as well and reached out and grabbed her hand. “Please, Ellie. Let me finish.”

  “I don’t think…”

  “…for old time’s sake,” he interrupted.

  She caught a glimpse of Russell and Tiffy dancing the Macarena, looking like they were having so much fun, and somehow she just felt defeated. Sometimes life just downright sucked.

  “Please.”

  She blew out a breath and finally, reluctantly, sat. Might as well ride this torture out to the end.

  He sat, too. “Running this casino is the opportunity of a lifetime.”

  “I’m happy for you, Brian, I am. You’re smart and driven. You always were destined for great success beyond dealing 21.”

  There was another uncomfortable silence. Then she had to ask, even though she was pretty sure she didn’t want to hear the answer.

  “And your fiancé?”

  “I love her.”

  Oh, this is getting better and better.

  “At least I’m pretty sure I do, but why haven’t I married her by now? She’s a good person, almost too good for me. But…Oh,
Ellie, you’re a sea of tranquility in a world of chaos. You always were.”

  That makes you sound like an anti-depressant.

  He reached for her hand again and she didn’t resist. It still felt right. How could that be? Then his cell phone rang. He looked at her apologetically. She withdrew her hand.

  “You better get it. It could be important.”

  He answered. “Hey, Joey, what’s up?” He listened. “What? Sonofabitch. When?”

  He promised to be back at the casino in 10 minutes. He ended the call and looked at her so sweetly she wanted to cry.

  “Diamond Rio had to cancel for the opening.”

  “Oh, no.”

  “I’ve gotta go. He stood and just looked at her. She should have ended it right there, wished him luck, sent him off and never looked back. You must have me confused with someone with more sense and considerably higher standards.

  She started walking with him toward the hotel entrance, feeling caught somewhere between misery and anticipation. It didn’t help that she could see the bright blue of Tiffy’s dress flapping around from the corner of her eye. There was somebody who knew how to have fun, who grabbed ahold of life and hung on for all it was worth. Yes, Tiffy, your ideal woman.

  Suddenly Brian stopped and grabbed onto both of her hands, squeezing gently. “I’ll call you. Give me your cell.”

  Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she did, and he programmed in his number, then called his phone from hers so he’d have her number. “Where are you staying?”

  She told him. “Room 211,” she added. You’re a bad, bad person. You’re going to hell.

  He looked like he was about to say something else, but then he leaned over, softly kissed her cheek and strode off. She watched him go with a yearning that scared her, rubbing her hand absently on the cheek he had kissed. Tiffy and Russell had both watched his departure, each with their own thoughts on the scene.