I Remember You

by Joyce Armor

  As Ellie waited for the bad news, since that was how life seemed to be happening lately, Bonnie explained that the original plan was for her and Roger to return to Bella Casa after the convention. Roger would have the surgery, and Bonnie would run the company. A month or so later, when he had recovered, they’d close it down and move to France.

  “Since his heart attack and the surgery,” she hesitated, blinking. “I thought I was losing him. I find I can’t go back to work with him at home recovering.”

  The three loyal employees all spoke up, endorsing her position. They would do the same thing, they said.

  “Unfortunately, that means we’re pretty much shut down now. We’ll all take a couple days next week to get the existing orders out, but then we’re done. We’ll probably do some publishing with Spencer when we get to France, but I’m not even sure we’ll call it Full Court Press.”

  They all assured her they understood, but an aura of sadness pervaded the group. It was the end of an era.

  “Roger and I have talked about it, and we agreed. We’re going to give each of you one month’s severance pay.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” Ellie insisted. She felt bad momentarily for speaking up, thinking Wesley and Chantella could probably use the money, and then the young couple seconded her position.

  “You know we sold the comic, right?” Bonnie smiled. “It’s no hardship and we want to. We couldn’t ask for better employees. It made for a perfect closure for this volume of our lives.”

  Ellie took Bonnie’s hand. “It’s been such a pleasure and an honor. And so much fun. I’ll miss you.”

  The newlyweds echoed those sentiments.

  Alas, it was all going to end. Yes, another ending. For a moment Ellie wondered how many of those a person suffered or enjoyed going through in her lifetime. Graduating from high school and college, going from being single to married, losing or changing jobs, divorcing, losing a loved one. Or losing a home you grew up in, like Russell. Life truly was about change. But you don’t have to like it, do you?

  “Well,” Bonnie said, bringing Ellie back to the present, “you’re all invited to France.” She wiped a tear from her reddening eyes.

  After everyone departed, Ellie found a loveseat in the lobby and sank into it. Her thoughts kept drifting to Russell, but she willed them to drift back to the problem at hand: her mother, the bulldozer. Sucking in a breath, she phoned her, listened to the expected upbraiding for not returning the calls sooner and arranged to meet her parents in the coffee shop at the Bellagio, where they were staying. Twenty minutes later, she spotted them in a booth along the far wall. They both stood when she approached, hugging her gingerly as if she would shatter into a million pieces if they squeezed too hard. Maybe she would. Her mother wore a stylish red print dress with a matching vest, and her stepfather had on his ubiquitous sport coat with a white Oxford shirt under it and black pants. They looked so…so proper. Ellie fought the urge to chuckle. Before her stint at Full Court Press, “proper” would have been a good thing. Now she wished she had a furry costume to wear.

  * * *

  “We haven’t ordered yet. We were waiting for you,” her mother said as they sat.

  “Thank you, Mom.” Ellie picked up a menu and began perusing. She could feel her folks’ eyes boring into her. Why was this so hard? She was almost 29, an adult, for God sakes. Yeah, with your inner child trying to break out. Flee!

  “We’ve got time, but we don’t want to tarry if we want to catch our flight.”

  Ellie took a deep breath and put down the menu. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going with you.”

  Her mother sputtered as she was in a mid-sip of her water. “Of course you are. We have it all planned.”

  Ellie sighed. Here we go. Let ‘er have it. “Yes, you do have it all planned. But it’s your plan, not mine.”

  “We’re just trying to help you. That’s what parents do.”

  “And I’m so grateful that you care. Truly.”

  A waiter appeared then, and Ellie smiled at him. “Could you give us a few more minutes, please?”

  “Sure.” The waiter left.

  “Eleanor, you were shot,” her mother felt the need to point out. “You could have died.”

  It was obvious that she was truly horrified, but what mother wouldn’t be? On one level Ellie was utterly horrified too, yet it was kind of a moot point. She had to try to save Russell. That was the incontrovertible bottom line.

  “And I know that scared you. It scared me. But I could have been shot in Chicago or California, too. The world can be a dangerous place. A bad and crazy man was going to shoot Russell. I couldn’t let that happen. If I had it to do over again, I would do the exact same thing.”

  Why did she always feel like she was 14 again when she was talking with her mom?

  “I know he’s your friend…”

  “He’s more than a friend.” Okay, that was a little bit defensive.

  “He dresses up in a hairy costume. What kind of grown man does that?”

  “It was a job, Mom, and he was really good at it, by the way. Russell is a singer and performer and very talented. He’s also funny and thoughtful and generous.”

  “And you love him.” Wow. Dale finally spoke up. And that was a zinger. She didn’t see that one coming. She had a split second to decide whether or not to fess up. No doubt she’d have to defend her position if she did, but what else was new? She’d been on the defensive with her parents since her mid-teens, when Dale came into the picture.

  What the hell. Go for it.

  “Yes.”

  Her mother looked like she was struggling to come up with the right thing to say. Finally, she said, “Are you sure it isn’t just an infatuation? You’ve been in kind of a fantasy world here, haven’t you? He’s been nice to you and of course you’re appreciative. So are we.”

  The waiter returned, and they all ordered lunch, Dale and her mother Reuben sandwiches and Ellie a BLT. Ellie didn’t answer the question. They said little as they ate, but everyone knew the other shoe was about to drop. At last, Ellie set her sandwich down, carefully wiped her mouth with her napkin, placed it next to her plate and looked pointedly at her parents. They didn’t know her heart was practically ready to crash out of her chest.

  “How I feel about Russell is not the reason I’m going back to California.”

  Her mother gasped. “What? You can’t! The job.”

  Move in for the kill. Ellie shook her head. “It’s not your job to get me a job. Do you know why I majored in communications?”

  Her mother set her napkin down and stared at her almost accusingly. “You were always good at…communicating.”

  “I majored in communications because I didn’t know what the hell else to major in. I didn’t care about it then and I don’t care about it now. I’m guessing that’s why I had trouble finding a job in the field. It’s not for me.”

  Her mother actually squirmed. Ellie could never remember seeing her squirm. Oh, you’re liking this. “You can find another job in Chicago.”

  “Yes, I could.”

  Her mother smiled. Dale just continued to observe.

  “But I’m not going to.”

  “Why? You’ve always loved Chicago.”

  “I’m glad I grew up in Chicago. I really am. And I do think it’s a great city. My heart, though, and I’m not talking about Russell…Keep telling yourself that…is in Bella Casa.”

  “But…”

  “Mary, let her go.”

  Wow. Didn’t see that one coming either. She looked at her stepfather, really looked at him. He wasn’t the devil she once thought he was. “Thanks, Dale.”

  He leaned over and placed his hand on hers, another shocker. “We just want you to be safe, Ellie. And happy.”

  Happy? That could be a stretch. She almost told Head Voice to shut up before she caught herself. Dale had finally extended himself and that’s all she needed was him to think she was telling him to can it.

 
She smiled, actually finding herself contented in her parents’ presence. “I think we’re on the same page here, or hopefully we will be.”

  Her mom didn’t give in easily and tried her best to change Ellie’s mind, but in the end she surrendered. Ellie found a new respect for Dale and her mother. She always knew they loved each other. Now she understood they were good for each other; they listened to each other. Her mother was stronger than she thought, and Dale was kinder. Maybe he did just want to get rid of her, but she doubted it. He wasn’t even upset that his efforts in securing her a job went for naught. Yeah, in her grief for her dad and her teenage hormonal upheaval, she had misjudged him a bit. Okay, maybe more than a bit.

  After driving her parents to the airport, with promises to visit them for Christmas, Ellie headed back to the hotel to pack her things. She found Tiffy packing up her things in Russell’s room and told her they’d be leaving in about 30 minutes.

  “Oh, hashtag, I’m not going back to Bella Casa.”

  “What?” Tiffy was staying in Las Vegas?

  “I’m going to France. I’ve always wanted to go to France. Or Spain maybe.”

  Ellie sat on the bed. “Are you sure? Do you even have a passport?”

  “Spencer is expediting it for me. We’ll stay here until it comes through.”

  Expediting. The flighty Tiffy personality wouldn’t even know that word.

  Tiffy picked up her bag and Ellie jumped up and followed her out the door. “Spencer thinks I could be a goddess.”

  Ellie smiled. “I can see that.” Another couple. Sigh.

  That left Ellie making the long drive to Bella Casa alone, the same drive she had made when she moved there almost five years ago. Back then she was alone, frustrated and open to all the possibilities the picturesque town afforded. And now you’re alone, frustrated and what? Open to all the possibilities again, she guessed, since she was about to be unemployed. Oddly, she wasn’t worried about finding a job. She was young, healthy, reliable, intelligent, trustworthy. Now you sound like a Girl Scout.

  For most of the drive, she thought about Russell. She went through every encounter they had ever had, starting from the disastrous date with Gawayne at Em’s Hideaway to the endless drive across the desert to constant badgering to the kiss that lit up the sky. And the fight, when he had jumped on Sludge’s back. She thought about his appearance at Brian’s wedding and his support at the hospital when Roger had his heart attack. And his struggling for the gun in Sludge’s hotel room. She was feeling all warm and fuzzy about him, and then she remembered him nuzzling with Tiffy until she thought she’d lose her lunch. He was sleeping with her. While you were locking lips with Brian.

  That wasn’t the point. Russell simply wasn’t a one-woman man. He made that more than obvious in Las Vegas, and there were worse things than being alone anyway. You just can’t think of any right now. So that was that. She’d move on. You could just hang out with him. Be friends. No, that would be too hard. And she definitely couldn’t bear seeing him with other women. Better to make a clean break of it. But he obviously cares for you. Not enough. He didn’t stay. Alone again, naturally.

  Chapter 22

  By the time Russell arrived back in Bella Casa—he had hitched a ride most of the way with a shipping company rep and taken a bus from Reno—his mother had already bought a 2-bedroom river-view condo. The unit was quite nice, with a fireplace, hardwood floors and beamed ceilings, and two of her friends lived in the complex. He had to admit it was a good move for Dee.

  As he helped her with the final packing up of the house, she quizzed him about the convention. He told her about the crowds, the semi-stalkers, the fight between Spencer and Sludge and the theft of the comic. When he described the events leading to Ellie getting shot, she saw the pain in his face. In fact, every time he mentioned Ellie, his face changed. Hmm.

  “So will you be seeing Ellie again?” Dee asked casually as she packed away her silverware tray and several Tupperware containers.

  He stacked a couple of boxes on the kitchen counter and taped them shut before labeling them with a black marker. “No, I think she moved back to Chicago.”

  “What about her friends, the ones who got the comic back, what were their names?”

  He opened several drawers and began filling another box with dish towels, a George Forman grill, a mixer, a cookie press and several other items. “You mean Toni and Rob Russo?”

  “Yes. They came back to Bella Casa, didn’t they?”

  “I guess. Why?”

  She moved the boxes Russell had set on the counter to make room for her box. “No reason. Just curious, since Tiffy didn’t come back either. I wondered if anybody else had found Las Vegas a life-changing experience.”

  “Hmph,” Russell grunted. “That it was.”

  Since she was downsizing, Dee needed to get rid of some of her furniture. Russell took his boyhood twin beds and the purple flowered couch. He knew the couch wasn’t masculine and didn’t care. Maybe he’d keep it in the storage unit permanently and go visit it periodically. And maybe he’d put it in his kitchen. He didn’t have anybody to impress. Just having it somehow made the whole moving thing better.

  When the movers had just about taken the last items up the ramp, Dee pulled an envelope from her purse and handed it to Russell.

  “What’s this?”

  She smiled and he opened the envelope to find a sizable check. “Ma, what are you doing?”

  “It’s for a down payment on a house. Even if you don’t stay here permanently, you’ll always have a place to come back to.”

  He got tears in his eyes, as unmasculine as it felt. “Ma…”

  She placed a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed. “Your father and my retirement account have left me very well off, honey. I also came out way ahead on this move. I want to do this, Russ. Don’t spoil my fun.”

  He looked at her for a moment with all the love he felt for this amazing woman and then pulled her to him and hugged her warmly. “Thank you. I love you so much.”

  Long after the moving van and Dee had driven off, Russell stood in the driveway of his childhood home and just looked at the house. He had finally decided his attachment to the house might be related to the fact that he had spent years traveling and it had become his anchor. He had come to terms with it being sold, though, and was not going to fall apart over it. But he thought he might drive by occasionally even after the new family moved in.

  For now, however, he was ready to move on. He needed to go house hunting.

  * * *

  The last two days at Full Court Press went off without a hitch. Roger, still looking pale and a little thinner, was even there, although Bonnie insisted he stay seated at his desk, where he could take his laptop apart and put it back together to his heart’s content. Ellie cleared up all the invoices and they even began boxing items that wouldn’t be shipped. When they got the last order packed and it was actually time to say goodbye, there were tears—even Roger got misty—and promises to keep in touch. It confirmed what Ellie already knew and had thought about too much lately. Life was all about change, but this was one she sure didn’t like. She felt an overwhelming sadness. Now your life officially sucks.

  A week later, she hadn’t left her apartment except to shop for groceries once. She had cleaned it top to bottom, rearranged the clothes hanging in her closet according to the color wheel and polished her silver-plated cutlery. She had watched a hundred videos on YouTube, including complete episodes of “Rawhide” and several yodeling songs. She had sent her parents a letter by snail mail but hadn’t sent out one resume. Hadn’t gone job hunting at all. But she had eaten a couple of gallons of rocky road ice cream, which she might as well have just applied directly to her butt.

  Though she wasn’t usually a wallower, she couldn’t seem to get a grip. She had the luxury of wallowing, she supposed, because she had always been a saver, and with the severance pay as well, money wouldn’t be an issue for a number of months. Toni had
called, of course, and Ellie had tried to sound cheerful or at least not despondent. Her friend seemed to know she needed space and had respected that, for which she was grateful.

  It was mid-afternoon. Ellie was sitting on the sofa in her red plaid fuzzy jammy pants with a baggy blue t-shirt that didn’t even match. She was contemplating whether or not to get up and pick up the fuzz ball sitting against the baseboard behind the end table when the doorbell rang. She ignored it. Then it rang again. And again. It was probably Toni. She really shouldn’t dis her friend. With supreme effort, she dragged herself off the sofa to the door and looked through the peephole. It was as if what she saw didn’t compute. She looked again. Yep. It was her. Reluctantly, she opened the door.

  “Mrs.…?”

  “Olshevski. Dee. Russell’s mom. Owens is his stage name.”

  Ellie stood there looking at her and was frozen. Her mind couldn’t seem to grasp what was happening. She felt like she was in a comic book story again.

  Dee was holding a covered plate. She smiled. “Can I come in?”

  Ellie had to think about that. What was wrong with her? She was in slo-mo. Then, at last, she stepped back and Dee entered the apartment. If she noticed it was in disarray and awfully dark, with all the shades drawn, she didn’t react.

  “How did you find me?” At last, a coherent thought!

  “I’m a mother. We have our ways.”

  Following a prolonged period of silence, Dee finally said, “You seem a little flummoxed, my dear.”

  “Flummoxed. That’s a great word. I am. I’m flummoxed. I’m very flummoxed. I don’t think I’ve ever been as flummoxed. And I will probably never be this flummoxed again.”

  “I brought some peanut butter cookies. Would you like something to drink with them?” Dee headed toward the kitchen.

  It must be Backwards Day. She’s waiting on you.

  Dee found a bottle of water in the fridge and brought it out to Ellie, who opened it and took a long swallow. Then she set the bottle on the coffee table, recapped it and looked suspiciously at Dee, who set the plate of cookies on the coffee table and took off the aluminum foil covering it.