by K. G. Reuss
“Stop,” Mom called out as Dad stalked toward me.
“I never cheated. I’m not a porn star. I-I like Fox. And his friends,” I whispered.
“She’s dating Ethan Masters. He’s a drug addict,” Ian piped up, fueling the fire.
“You’ve lied to us. You’re making sex videos. You’re ruining your future!” Spit flew from my dad’s mouth as he raised his voice. “What the hell is the matter with you?”
“Nothing! It’s not like that—"
My words were cut short as my dad’s hand connected with my face. I grabbed at the sting on my cheek from his slap, my mother staring wide-eyed at us.
“No. No!” she shouted, springing into action and grabbing Dad as his chest heaved.
“No whore or liar is allowed in my home.”
“How about your pregnant daughter?” I breathed out, glaring at him as I clutched my face. “I suppose she’s not either.”
“Get the fuck out of my house,” he snarled in a dangerous whisper. “I want you gone.”
“No,” Mom called out, reaching for me as I backed away.
Ian smirked in the background.
“Rosalie. No. Stay.”
I jerked out of my mom’s reached and shook my head as I glared at my angry father.
“No. He’s right. I don’t belong here.” I didn’t bother waiting for Dad’s rebuttal.
My mother’s sobs were all I heard as I raced up the stairs and started stuffing my items into a bag. I grabbed everything I could shove into my suitcase in five minutes. From my desk, I scooped up my sparkly purple notebook. The last thing I grabbed were the earrings from Amy. I tucked them inside the front pocket and didn’t bother looking around at the room that held so many memories. I raced down the stairs, my guts churning.
Thankfully, Ian was gone, but my parents were still in the living room.
“Rosalie. Please. Don’t go. If you’re pregnant, you need help,” Mom cried, her eyes bloodshot from her tears.
“She’s not welcome here. I want her out of my house. She’s disgusting. I can’t even look at her right now.”
“Don’t do this—” Mom pleaded.
Dad approached me as I opened the door and plucked my keys from my hand. “Walk.”
I shook my head at him then glanced at my weeping mother.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I whispered before I stepped outside.
“Rosalie,” she choked out as I closed the door on her.
There was no way I could go back there now. Not after what my dad had said to me. Instead, I pulled my suitcase down the driveway and shouldered my bag. When I’d made it to the corner of our street, I pulled my phone out and dialed Ethan.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted me.
“Ethan,” I choked out.
“What’s wrong?”
“C-Can I stay with you? My parents know everything. Ian. I-I got kicked out.” My words were broken as the realization hit.
“I’m coming, sweetheart. Where are you?”
I heard Ethan’s keys jingling and other voices before a door closed.
“I’m at the corner of my street. Please hurry.”
“I’ll be there in a minute. Just stay there, OK?”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.
“Rosalie, sweetheart. I love you. It’s going to be OK. I promise.” The sound of Ethan’s car starting helped calm me. He was coming.
Thirty-Seven
I lay on Ethan’s couch, sobbing, later that night, my head in his lap. He didn’t say anything. He just held me and ran his fingers through my hair.
After I’d cried myself to sleep, I woke up later to find myself in his bed, his body curled around mine. I cuddled into him, my heart aching.
Then the tears started again. When had I become such a blubbering baby? Maybe it was the hormones. Whatever it was, I felt annoying and disgusting as Ethan’s arms tightened around me.
“Shh,” he soothed. “It’s OK, sweetheart. It’s OK. I’m here. I promise it’ll be all right.”
And that was how we stayed the rest of the night. I’d fall asleep only to wake up crying, and Ethan would be there to brush the tears away and hold me.
In fact, the entire weekend was spent that way. I didn’t bother getting out of Ethan’s bed unless it was to use the bathroom. I barely ate, much to Ethan’s displeasure, and when I heard Fox and Enzo in the living room, I didn’t get up.
I never heard from Cole, which broke me even more. The one person I needed to hear from wanted nothing to do with me or the baby.
So I stayed in bed, wallowing in everything I’d become and hating myself for it.
By Tuesday morning, my tears were less frequent.
“I’ll stay home with you again if you need me to,” Ethan said, leaning against the bathroom doorframe as I brushed my teeth.
“I need to go to school. I already emailed Mr. Dennison and let him know I was having issues at home and won’t be able to go to rehearsals.”
“He was OK with it?” Ethan asked.
I shrugged. “He emailed back this morning and said I was doing well, and we’d figure something out, so I think it’ll be fine.”
“Good.” Ethan stepped into the bathroom and wrapped me in a tight hug from behind. His eyes locked on mine in the mirror. “I love you.”
I turned in his arms and rested my head on his chest. “I love you too.”
He kissed the top of my head.
“Have you heard from Cole?” I whispered.
“I haven’t. I asked Fox and Enzo, and they said he took off a few days ago to see Colt. He’ll come back. He loves you too.”
“Doesn’t seem that way.”
Ethan pulled away and cradled my face. “He does, Rosalie. Don’t doubt it. He’ll be back and stronger than ever.”
I nodded sadly before breaking away from him and grabbing my bag from the foot of the bed.
“We’re doing this?”
“Yep,” I said, breathing in deeply. “I’m winging it.”
Ethan smirked. “Don’t worry. I’ve got your back. You won’t be doing it alone.”
I gave him a grateful smile as he took my hand in his and led me out the door.
“Wow,” Jamie murmured after I told her everything that had transpired over the weekend. “I can’t believe your dad is such a prick. I already knew Ian was.”
I nodded morosely and poked at my salad. Ethan rubbed his hand down my back reassuringly. Word was out that Ian and I had broken up and I was with Ethan now. Ian wasted no time telling everyone I’d cheated on him and Ethan got me knocked up. I guess he assumed it was him since we were together. Ethan took it in stride and smiled, not bothering to correct anyone.
But I felt for him. He already shouldered the addiction rumors and breaking away from the horsemen. When I mentioned my worries to him, he’d silenced me with his kiss and told me he was fine.
“Hey, slut,” Ian called out as we got up to leave the cafeteria. “Fucking anyone else here? Seems like you get around.”
“Ethan, no,” I called out as Ethan lunged forward and shoved Ian so hard he stumbled back into the wall.
It was chaos within moments. People gathered to watch, shouting and cheering, as Ethan and Ian tore into one another, Ethan’s hits landing more than Ian’s.
“Ethan!” I shouted frantically, trying to get to him.
“Rosie,” Fox called out, reaching me before I jumped into the fray. His arm wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me back.
Enzo wasted no time joining Ethan, shoving Ethan back so Enzo could beat on Ian. It was over before it started, but Ian wouldn’t give up. He took the hits and managed to return some of them.
“You like beating on women?” Enzo snarled, smashing Ian’s face into the bricks. “Huh? Who’s the tough guy now?”
Ian lashed out with his elbow and caught Enzo in the cheek. It only fueled Enzo’s fire because he pulled Ian’s face back and smashed it back into the wall.
“Fucking t
alk to my girl like that again and you’ll wish you were never born. She belongs to us. You got that, you fucking piece of shit?”
Ian’s nose and lip were bleeding. He glowered at me as Enzo pinned him by the neck with his forearm against the wall.
“Fucking answer me,” Enzo snarled.
“I got it,” Ian bit out, his glare on me hardening. Absolute hatred hit me with that looked, making me recoil against Fox who tightened his hold on me.
“Fox,” Juliet called out through the chaos as people continued to watch and cheer.
“Get the fuck away from me, Juliet,” Fox snarled. “Or you’ll be next.”
I didn’t bother to look at her, but I knew she’d left.
Ethan finally tore his gaze away from Ian and Enzo to come to me. He tugged me out of Fox’s hold and cinched me to his side, leading me away from the crowd. I didn’t realize Fox and Enzo were behind us until we made it to the bleachers.
“Are you all right?” Ethan asked. He lifted me off my feet and placed me on a bleacher, so we were eye level.
“I’m OK. Are you?” I looked over him, frowning. His cheek was bruised, but other than that, he looked fine.
“I’m fine, sweetheart.”
“Enzo?” I called out, looking over Ethan’s shoulder to him.
Enzo approached me, and Ethan moved aside for him.
“Hey, Sunshine,” he murmured, his dark eyes drinking me in. “Sorry you had to see that.”
“Are you OK?” I reached out and brushed my fingers against the cut on his chin. Other than the small mark, he appeared fine.
“If there’s one thing I can do, it’s take a hit. I’m fine. Promise.”
“What’s important is you, Rosie,” Fox said, moving to stand between Enzo and Ethan.
“I didn’t get hit.”
“I’m not talking just about that. I’m talking about everything. We heard about what happened with your parents.”
I averted my eyes from them and stared out at the football field. “It is what it is.”
“We’re here for you,” Fox said gently, giving my hand a squeeze.
“And Juliet.”
“Rosalie,” Fox sighed. “Let’s just finish this, OK? Cole will be back on Friday. We’re going to give you the notebook. We want you to read it. All of it.”
“I don’t want the damn thing,” I snapped at him.
“It doesn’t matter,” Enzo said. “You need the truth. The notebook has everything in it. It’s a diary we’ve kept. You know that. But it’s more. So when Cole gets back, you’ll take it. We’ll give you some time with it. Then, you can make your choice. If you tell us to walk, we’ll walk. If you decide you want this, we’re yours.”
“We’ll raise the baby together,” Fox said gently.
My bottom lip trembled as I finally looked at him. “Why?”
“Because I love you, Rosalie,” he murmured, moving in and resting his forehead against mine. “Nothing is ever going to change that. We all do. Even Cole.”
“But he left.”
“He’ll be back. I promise.”
“So can you promise us this is the end of this shit? That you’ll read the notebook? Then you’ll decide?” Fox pressed.
I wanted more than anything for it to be done.
“And Juliet?” I asked thickly.
“Already on the way out the door,” Enzo said gently. “I’m taking care of the loose ends tonight.”
I had no idea what that meant, but I supposed the damn notebook would tell me.
“Fine. I’ll read it, but only if Ethan wants this.” I peered over at Ethan who gave me his sweet smile.
Fox moved aside for him.
“Sweetheart, I’ve never not wanted this. I’m in.” His lips brushed against mine. “If you are.”
“Guess we’ll find out.”
Ethan smiled down at me. “Trust me, Rosalie. You’re already ours.”
Thirty-Eight
No one got into trouble for the fight in the cafeteria except Ian. He ended up with in-school suspension for the remainder of the week, which was fine by me. It meant I didn’t have to see him.
When Friday night rolled around, I sat on Ethan’s couch, staring up at him.
“Here.” Ethan handed me the thick, black notebook, his hands shaking. “Read it. All of it. OK? We have a home game tonight. We’re going to Cole’s after.”
“He’s home?” I asked.
He nodded. “He got home earlier today. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you worrying all day.”
“I-Is he still mad?”
“No. I don’t think he was ever mad, Rosalie. Shocked, yes.”
“But he left.”
“I know,” Ethan said softly. “And I haven’t really spoken to him to know what’s going on in his head. That’s why we’re going to his place tonight. We’re all going to talk and give you some space.”
“What if I decide to do this and Cole bails?”
“Then he fucking bails and misses out on the best thing that could ever happen to him. That’s on him, Rosalie. We all want you. You know that.”
I nodded, my throat tight. “I know.”
Ethan leaned down and kissed me. I wanted him so much. We hadn’t done a damn thing with each other despite sharing a bed. I reached for the button on his jeans.
“What are you doing?” he murmured against my lips.
“I want you,” I replied.
He let out a sigh and clasped my hands. “It wouldn’t be right, Rosalie. I want you to know everything before we do this again. OK?”
“What do you mean?”
His lips brushed against mine. “I don’t want you to regret me if you decide you don’t like what you see in that notebook.”
“I’d never regret you, Ethan.”
He gave me his sweet smile. “I hope not. When you’re done, call me. I’ll come home, and we can make love all night long if you want. OK?”
“OK,” I answered.
He placed one more gentle kiss on my lips. “I hope that’s not the last time I get to do that, sweetheart.”
“It won’t be,” I said thickly, squeezing his hand.
He pulled away. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Win for me,” I called out as he got to the door.
The sad smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Always.”
I stared at the notebook for over an hour before I got up and paced back and forth. Did I really want to know the contents? I had to know.
Right? This can’t end unless I read it.
Hauling in a deep breath, I sat on the couch and flipped to my name in the notebook.
All the old words greeted me from the first time I’d read it. I flipped past them to a page I hadn’t seen and started my journey.
A note to me adorned that first page.
Rosie
Hey, baby. Within these pages you’ll see everything, even text messages we decided were important for you to see so you can get the whole picture. Cole, in one of his insane organizational tirades, insisted on the texts being printed and put in this book. Even if he annoys us with his tendencies to be a pain in the ass, we decided they should be included. We wanted you to know everything from our thoughts on you to the reason behind our betrayal. It’s important that you get the whole picture. I also have the texts from Juliet. They’re here for you to see as well. I didn’t get a chance to add them to the notebook. We won’t withhold them from you. You can read them and see that we never wanted her. We loathed being with her. We’re all so nervous for you to see this. We’re fucked up, and we’re sorry. We love you, Rosie. I hope to hold you later in our treehouse.
-Fox
I drew in a deep breath and turned the page.
The pages chronicled their thoughts as things shifted from this being a game to them caring about me. I paused as I read words written by Cole.
She’s breathtaking. I can’t get her out of my head. I want more. This isn’t just a game, Fox. I NEED this girl.
<
br /> I wiped at a tear and continued reading Fox’s reply.
I can’t. I hurt her too much. Besides, it’s not supposed to be this way with her. She’s not the girl for us. She’d never want what we’re looking for. Especially with me after the way I treated her. She hates me.
I flipped the page to see Enzo’s words.
She doesn’t hate you. What if I can prove to you she wants it? Will you be game?
Then came Fox’s reply.
I don’t know. Don’t trick her or hurt her. I’ll kick your ass if she cries.
Then Ethan.
If any of you pricks make her cry, you won’t worry about just an ass kicking. I’ll fuck you guys up. You guys don’t even realize how special that girl is.
And Cole again.
The last thing I want to do is hurt her. Well, maybe hurt her, but with her consent. I think she might like a little pain with her pleasure.
Then Enzo once more.
Only one way to find out.
I swallowed thickly and continued on, noting all the times they added photos of me to the book and little captions beneath them like, I love her in black. Her eyes are so beautiful. Do you think she likes flowers or would prefer candy?
I smiled at their notes as they tried to figure me out, Fox always intervening to correct them on what music I liked or my favorite color. And he was always right, despite the time and distance we’d spent away from one another.
One particular entry by him made me pause and reread.
She’s afraid of open water. I told her a story about a monster when we were kids. One of the only wishes I’ve had over the years away from her was wishing I could finish the story and tell her I got rid of the monster, so she has nothing to fear as long as I was there with her. I don’t want her hurt. Not anymore. I love her. I always have. I want to marry that girl. I hope she forgives me someday for becoming one of the monsters I swore I’d protect her from.
I read his passage over and over until I’d memorized it, then I flipped the page to see another entry from him.
I fucked up.
It was dated the day I’d caught Juliet with him. I flipped to the next page. There was a printed screenshot of a group message they’d had on their phones.