by K. G. Reuss
Cole: I fucking hate you. You ruined everything! We had her. She was perfect for all of us, and you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?
Fox: It’s not my fault! Juliet has the videos. She has everything. She’s seen the notebook.
Enzo: You didn’t need to crawl into the sack with that bitch without talking to us first. I’d have gotten rid of the problem before this shit happened. What the fuck were you thinking? How did I not know Juliet saw everything? Why did you include that bitch?
Fox: I said I fucked up. I was a different person then. And then when Juliet came to my room vowing to release everything about Rosalie and ruin her life, all I could think about was I wanted to keep Rosie safe and would do whatever I had to. I didn’t think she’d come over!
Ethan: She’s your neighbor and girlfriend, you fucking idiot. What did you think would happen? I’m disgusted. She won’t take my calls. I can’t handle it if she walks. She was the only bright spot I had in my life.
Cole: Stop being so dramatic, Ethan. We have something bigger to worry besides your inability to stay sober.
Ethan: Fuck you.
Cole: No, fuck you.
Enzo: Enough with this fuck you back and forth shit. What are we going to do?
Fox: I tried to tell her. She threatened to call the cops on me if I kept knocking on her door.
Cole: So let me get this straight. Juliet has everything on Rosalie because you gave Juliet access in the beginning. And that was because you had an ax to grind over something Rosalie had no control over. Juliet was tearing into Rosalie to see how far she could be pushed before cracking, and yeah, we knew that, but I was under the impression you called the bitch off.
Fox: I did call her off after I started waking up.
Cole: Yeah. Nice touch, Romeo. So then Juliet finds out you’re falling for Rosie, who she hates, and decides she wants to take her down and trap us?
Fox: Basically.
Enzo: Because the bitch has to be number one in everything.
Ethan: So Juliet has everything on all of us and Rosalie?
Fox: Yes.
Ethan: What does that mean exactly?
Cole: It means the asshole made a deal with Juliet that we’d all be with her instead of Rosalie in exchange for Juliet not spilling the beans. If shit gets out, Fox will lose his football scholarship. The other girls might be like Juliet and be jilted bitches and start shit. This affects so many people. Anyone involved could be fucked over by this.
Ethan: I don’t fucking think so. No one barters on my behalf. Fuck Juliet. I’m not doing it.
Enzo: Looks like you are until we get the shit from Juliet. Who fucking knows how many copies she’s made and what else she’s done?
Ethan: I’m NOT fucking that bitch.
Fox: In order to keep Rosalie safe, you will.
Ethan: I’d rather die.
Cole: Keep using and you will, asshole.
Ethan: Fuck off.
Enzo: Enough already! So we have to lose Rosalie to keep her safe? Seems fucked.
Cole: Welcome to letting Fox run the show.
Fox: We’ll just do it until we can clean things up with Juliet. We’ll get the videos. We’ll get everything. Juliet can be managed.
Ethan: You should’ve managed the bitch before this, dumb ass.
Cole: Agreed.
Enzo: It doesn’t matter at this point. Now, we need to have a plan to fix this shit and get Rosalie to come back.
Ethan: She won’t come back as long as we’re fucking Juliet. I mean, as long as you guys are, because my dick isn’t going anywhere near that slut.
Their argument continued for a few more pages, going back and forth calling one another names and talking about how Fox fucked them all over and him apologizing profusely.
And then the conversation shifted to me and Ian. A photo of us together at my car graced the page. Ian was leaning down and speaking to me. Another slew of texts was printed and glued to the page.
Cole: She doesn’t love him. She’s doing it to piss us off.
Enzo: It’s working. Ethan got so high last night I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance.
Ethan: I’m fucking high right now. Call an ambulance on that.
Enzo: Seriously, dude. Chill. If I find you passed out again in a puddle of your own vomit, I’ll call everyone and get your ass committed.
Ethan: Whatever. I want to die. Not like you pricks could stop me.
Cole: Stop being a fucking idiot. It would hurt Rosalie if something happened to you.
Ethan: She doesn’t care about me or you anymore. It’s over.
Fox: It’s NOT over! Stick to the plan. We get the shit from Juliet. We play the part. We keep trying with Rosalie. We’ll get her back.
Cole: Fine. But you should let Enzo do what he needs to do. He’s who he is for a reason. He’s already agreed to take his spot with his father. May as well give him something to start on.
Enzo: I’ll do it. Just say the word.
Fox: No. Let’s try this first. No one needs to die.
Cole: Yet.
I flipped the pages and watched as Ethan spiraled and how much everyone worried. How he’d been found passed out again. How Enzo had called an ambulance that time because he was barely breathing. My heart ached as I read how Ethan hurt so much and how he wanted to be better but might not ever be.
How he asked for forgiveness if he went too far. How he wanted the guys to know he loved them. How he begged for them to tell me how much he loved me if he never got the chance.
A choked sob escaped my lips as I read his words.
She’s everything to me. If I die, tell her I love her and won’t ever stop. Not even in death.
“Ethan,” I whispered, running my fingers over his neatly printed handwriting.
I pushed forward and turned the pages.
Cole: He’s hurting her. She has a bruise on her face. She tried to cover it with makeup.
Enzo: I saw.
Fox: Let’s just grab him and take care of the problem.
Ethan: I’ll do it.
Cole: Take Juliet out with him.
I flipped more pages. Another printout of texts greeted me.
Fox: I fucking hate you all.
Enzo: Why? Because I fucked her? You’re pissed because she let me and not you? You don’t own her.
Fox: She was mine first. You pricks are lucky I wanted to share.
Cole: Seems I’m the only one who hasn’t had my cock inside her. What the fuck?
Enzo: You’re missing out. She’s pure heaven.
Cole: Eat shit.
Fox: Looks like our girl isn’t as sweet as we thought she was. And now she has Ethan.
Cole: Honestly, I’m not mad. Ethan is head over heels for her and was on his way to a hole in the ground if she didn’t come around for him. I’m happy for him.
Fox: He’s left us for her. He made his choice.
Enzo: Did he? Because I think we need to have a chat with him.
I turned the page to another barrage of texts.
Cole: I fucked her on the stage. If I wasn’t already hooked on her, that would be the nail in my coffin. I’m in love. There. I said it. I did something stupid.
Enzo: You didn’t force her, did you?
Cole: Not really. I told her I was going to fuck her. She kissed me back and was a real sweetheart while I did it. Best sex of my life. I just wish it was in my bed so I could actually show her how much I love her.
Enzo: Aw, you’re going soft on us, Scott.
Cole: Guess I am. What can I say? She has me. She’s all I think about nowadays.
Enzo: Me too. That’s love, I guess.
Cole: I like it.
Enzo: That means she’s cheated on Ethan.
Cole: Not really cheating when she belongs to all of us.
Enzo: Yeah, but he left us. She’s just his now.
Cole: As much as I love Ethan, I think we all know he’s still in this.
Enzo: You better hope
so.
Cole: You too, you fucking prick. You were balls deep in her too.
Enzo: That was before. I’m in the clear.
Fox: Could you assholes stop messaging? I’m trying to finish this trig homework, but my phone keeps dinging.
Cole: I’d think you’d be more concerned about getting our Juliet issue fixed since you won’t let me and the mob prince step in.
Fox: You have a bright future as the future mob boss’s right-hand man. Now shut up.
Enzo: I’d hire you.
Cole: I accept the position.
I turned to another page.
Fox: Ethan.
Ethan: Yeah?
Fox: You’re in, right?
Ethan: This is a gamble, but yeah. I’m in.
I frowned, wondering what they were doing and continued reading.
Cole: Let me get this straight. Ethan is back and a double agent? He’s with Rosalie and back with us?
Ethan: Yes. But if I lose her, you guys will be sorry.
Fox: You won’t lose her. You’re our way back in. She cares about you.
Ethan: She loves me. Get it right. She even told me she so.
Enzo: Smug bastard.
Ethan: You would be too if the woman you’ve been pining and practically dying for told you she wanted you and only you. It really did something for my self-esteem.
Cole: Asshole.
Enzo: She tell you she fucked Cole?
Ethan: What?
Cole: I fucked her on the stage. Does that hurt, lover boy?
Ethan: Only you when I punch you in the fucking face, dick head.
Cole: I’m hurt, Masters. I thought we were a team.
Ethan: We are, but don’t go fucking my girl then hurling the truth at me like that.
Fox: She hasn’t told you then?
Ethan: No. She’s been acting weird though. Guess that explains it.
Enzo: Guilt. She’s feeling guilty, and it’s making her sick.
Cole: You sure didn’t act guilty when you went behind our backs and fucked her.
Enzo: That’s because I didn’t feel guilt. I felt fucking amazing that she wanted me. So eat shit, Cole.
Fox: Can we agree to stop playing the games and just be honest? I don’t want to hear about her having to do this shit. She’s trying to tear us apart by doing it. She may feel guilty, but she’s also still pissed. If we’re going to get her back, we need to be united.
Enzo: Agreed.
Cole: Fine.
Ethan: Whatever. But if I lose her again. . .
Cole: You won’t. Not if she already told you she loves you.
Ethan: I hope so. She’s my entire world right now.
Enzo: Do you forgive her? And us?
Ethan: Yes. Always. I hate to get mushy, but I love you guys and her. We’re a family. If I have to eat shit to get us all back on track, I will.
Cole: Ain’t that sweet. We love you too, buddy.
Enzo sent a kissy face.
Ethan: You wish, De Luca.
So Ethan had known. In fact, he’d gone back to the guys and was being a double-agent. Not out of ill will, but because he took the risk hoping to fix everything. I didn’t like that he’d lied, but at the same time, so did I. And he forgave me for mine.
I flipped more pages.
Fox: Ethan. Are you home?
Ethan: Almost. Just picked my car up from my parents.
Fox: There’s something wrong with Rosie. She’s in bed crying. She won’t answer my calls. I don’t want to piss her off. Can you go to her and check to make sure she’s OK?
Ethan: She didn’t answer me. I’ll be there soon.
That was the night Ian had cut my hair and hurt me. Fox had called Ethan to come to me. My eyes misted over as I flipped more pages.
Ethan: She told me she cheated.
Cole: You OK, buddy?
Ethan: It was with you, asshole.
Cole: Did she tell you I rocked her fucking world?
Ethan: She said she called out my name because she wished it was me.
Cole: Fuck you, Masters (laughing face)
Fox: Ethan, you good? All sober and shit?
Ethan: Yeah. I feel great, actually. I hit some weed, but it was enough to keep me chill. Better than methadone.
Enzo: Weed is a gateway drug.
Ethan: It’s a lifesaver for me. It keeps me from completely losing my shit.
Cole: Leave him alone. It beats heroin and whatever the fuck else he can get his hands on.
Fox: No thanks to you.
Cole: I only gave him the small shit to keep him from totally fucking up. I was trying to help.
Fox: Wasn’t helping.
Ethan: Let’s not argue about it. I’m better, or at least on the road to it. I want to be better because I have Rosalie. I can’t disappoint her. That alone would kill me. I’d die for that girl.
Enzo: Well, now you don’t have to. You got your shit together. All’s well.
Ethan: Yes.
Cole: What are we going to do about Ian?
Enzo: You already know what I think.
Ethan: She got the flash drive. She’s free.
Fox: WHAT?!
Ethan: Yeah. She deleted everything. He called her, and I put him in his place. But be prepared for his retaliation.
Cole: Fuck him. He can bring it. He’s got nothing now.
Enzo: I agree. Maybe he needs another beating.
Fox: Maybe we should give it to him.
Ethan: Just chill. I’ll handle it.
I moved forward more pages, skimming their conversations before stopping on another one I reread.
Fox: Cole, you gotta talk, buddy.
Enzo: Cole, man, Rosalie is worried. Where are you?
Fox: Don’t do this. Don’t run.
Enzo: She needs you, man.
Ethan: She’s terrified you aren’t coming back. At least let us know what’s going on.
Fox: Cole, I swear I’ll go to your parents and talk to them if you don’t answer.
Cole: Fuck off.
Enzo: Ah, there he is. Man, what the fuck?
Cole: Leave me alone.
Fox: Where are you? Are you coming back? We talked to Rosalie. She wants us. ALL of us. She’s scared you’re running. It’s fine if you are, man, but it’s not like you. So what if she’s pregnant. If we all stayed together, it would’ve eventually come to this.
Cole: Yeah, maybe ten years from now! I’ve ruined her fucking life. She’s going to graduate pregnant. Everyone will talk even more shit about her. Hell, she might not even go to college. I fucked up. Bad. It’s better if I just leave. She doesn’t need me. She has you guys. You’d all make better parents than me. I don’t even know how to be a good dad since my own old man won’t even talk to me.
Ethan: Don’t be like this. Give yourself a chance. She needs you.
Cole: I gotta go. I’ve disappointed enough people.
He was scared of disappointing me? I bit my bottom lip and reread the message before turning the page.
Cole: I’m back.
Fox: About damn time.
Cole: Is Rosalie pissed at me?
Ethan: She’s worried and hurt. I wouldn’t say pissed. I’m giving her the notebook. She’ll be able to see everything. Then she’ll make her choice.
Cole: Fine. My place after the game. We can all wait like bitches together, and you guys can listen to me practice my apology speech.
Enzo: It sucks. I don’t even need to hear it to tell you that. Just kiss her and say, “I’m sorry for being an asshole.”
Cole: That’s basically my speech.
Fox: Well, I guess we just sit and wait now.
Ethan: I still get the girl. I’m not worried. Not really, anyway.
Enzo: Lucky bastard.
Fox: It’ll be OK.
Cole: Hopefully, one of these times you’ll be right, Evans.
I turned to the last page and saw their scribbled notes to one another.
Fox: Juliet still has the v
ideos. I got what I could. I’m sorry. I tried.
Enzo: I did too. You know there’s one way to shut her up.
Ethan: She’s a supreme bitch, but has it really come to that?
Enzo: You wanted to do it to Ian.
Ethan: That’s different. He was abusing Rosalie and deserves it. Juliet is just a dumb bitch.
Cole: Mark my words, she’s going to be a problem. If something happens to my kid and my girl, I’ll lose my shit. I’ve always been barely hanging on.
The messages ended. The very last thing was a handwritten note from Fox.
Rosie,
If you’re reading this, I’m sorry. I tried. Juliet still has a lot of things. She made copies. I don’t know exactly what’s left. All I know is I can’t go on with her, doing this shit with her to protect you without your OK. I need you to tell me to. That you’ll want me despite me continuing. I’d do anything for you. If you want me to keep going, I will. We all will. Please, Rosie, tell me what to do. I love you.
-Fox
I breathed out and swallowed hard. All this time, everything had been for me. He thought he was protecting me. Sure, he lied, and that really pissed me off. He could’ve been honest about it. And maybe he would’ve been. He did say he wanted to talk to me about something all those weeks ago. But we’d been too caught up in the excitement that it hadn’t happened.
But I didn’t want this. I was already in shit, so I may as well full tilt through it. I took the pen on the table and scribbled a note beneath Fox’s.
Let it go. All of it. Be with me and let her do what she needs to do. Together, we’ll get through anything. I love you all so much.
-Rosalie
Thirty-Nine
“Ethan?” I called out as he answered his phone later that night. I was ready to do this.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said softly. The voices behind him silenced. I knew he was with the guys at Cole’s.
“Come home?” I asked.
“I’ll be there in a minute, sweetheart. Do you need anything?”
“Just you.”
“Did you read the notebook?”
“I did.”
“And?”
“And I want to talk to you first if that’s OK.”
“Sure, sweetheart. Anything you want. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I hung the phone up.