A Mother's Secrets

by Tuppence Van de Vaarst

  Her eyes widened as he looked down. Was he flustered too? He’d always seemed so calm, so assured! “What is it?” she asked.

  Nazir looked up again. “I saw part of what you were doing, earlier,” he said. “I think I know what you were doing too. And why you can.”

  Her eyes widened. Did he mean… did he know?

  “I didn’t mean to,” Nazir said. “I just… I’ve heard about elves before. Their abilities. I met a few, travelling in Tigri. They told me about the Sight.”

  “They told you?” Vinet couldn’t believe it. She’d had to drag the information out of Kinaevan piece by piece, and he was willing to tell her!

  “One was taken by a vision right in front of me,” Nazir said. “They had no choice. I swore never to reveal any of it.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Then why are you telling me?” she asked.

  “Because you already know,” Nazir said. He took a deep breath. “Because you have the Sight. You were practicing it earlier.”

  She flushed. Had she been that obvious? She paused as a thought struck her. Elves had told him about the Sight. He had made that direct comparison between her and them. Did he…

  “You know,” she whispered softly.

  Nazir met her eyes. “I didn’t mean to know,” he said. “But when Kinaevan came to visit, and you started spending so much time together… and Niara is hardly subtle in her affection. She’s very careful, she never calls him anything but Kinaevan around me, but the resemblance…”

  Vinet winced. All that care, and for nothing! She felt a flare of panic. If Nazir has guessed, then who else knows? Who would sell that information for a pretty price?

  “I don’t think anyone else knows,” Nazir said hastily. “No one you didn’t intend to, anyway. Evalynna might suspect, but that’s just because she spends so much time with Niara. I doubt she’d care, though. She loves Niara like one of her younger siblings.”

  Vinet took a deep breath and stared out the window again. The maple tree danced in the wind. Another storm was coming. Gwyn and Evalynna were probably inside by now.

  She looked down at her notes. “Queen Olvae is my great-grandmother,” she said.

  Nazir’s eyes widened. “And Kinaevan your father.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But you were struggling… and your work is so fascinating…” he gestured at the pile of papers again.

  She had to laugh. A scholar’s curiosity, like her own. “You just want to study Elvish with me,” she said. She was surprised at how teasing her voice was.

  Nazir let out a breath, and she glanced up, surprised at the relieved expression on his face. “What?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “I was afraid… afraid if I knew too much, you would be angry,” he said. “I can’t help it. I listen and look at everything. It’s what made me a good collector of tales.”

  She should have been angry, Vinet supposed. She had concealed her heritage from everyone except Gwyn for over twenty years. To have all that secrecy revealed by a man who saw more than was good for him… but it was a relief. She didn’t want to conceal anything from Nazir.

  “Look at this passage,” she said. “It’s the end of the creation story. It says that the fall of the Great Burner was what brought the Age of Great Fire to an End, and that some now call that Age the Age of Birth. What do you think of that?”

  Nazir frowned. “Well, fire can be cleansing…”

  He broke off at a laugh from the hallway. Both fell silent as Gwyn and Evalynna walked by.

  “You don’t really mean…”

  “I do,” Gwyn said.

  The footsteps stopped. “Gwyn, I… I don’t know what to say.”

  “Are you… are you upset?” Gwyn’s voice was full of uncharacteristic hesitance.

  “No!” Evalynna said immediately. “Gwyn, I… I’ve been wanting to approach you since you recruited me,” her voice became the softest whisper.

  Gwyn’s laugh was full of relief. “Well, why didn’t you?”

  “Because you’re intimidating, Gwyn! You should know that.” Evalynna sounded flustered.

  Gwyn was silent a moment. “We’re still both bodyguards. Whatever is between us, nothing will change that.”

  “Of course,” Evalynna nodded.

  “We’re going to need to discuss that more…” Gwyn started walking again, and their voices passed out of earshot.

  Vinet clapped a hand over her mouth. Had she interpreted that conversation accurately? Were Gwyn and Evalynna… Gwyn and Evalynna!

  She turned to Nazir, her eyes dancing. His face was full of suppressed amusement of his own.

  “Seems they have much in common,” he said lightly.

  “As do we,” Vinet said, equally lightly. She flushed. “I mean, like our scholarly interests. Not…” Mazda’s light!

  Nazir nodded quickly. Perhaps too quickly. He hesitated. “You truly don’t mind that I know?” he asked.

  Vinet thought for a moment. Gwyn would certainly mind. But as for herself, it felt right. “No,” she said. She smiled. “Now I can draft you into research projects without worrying about concealing vital information.”

  “I am at your disposal, Lady Vinet.” He bowed as well as he could from his chair.

  She hesitated. “You called me Vinet earlier,” she said.

  He flushed beneath his dark skin. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

  “I prefer Vinet,” she interrupted. “When we’re alone, at least. In public I have to be Lady Vinet, even to Gwyn.”

  Nazir nodded. “And will I see you much in public, Lady…I mean, Vinet?”

  She smiled. “Well, you’ll come with us to the capital for the next council session, won’t you? Someone will need to entertain Niara, and Kinaevan will be going back to his embassy.”

  Nazir laughed. “Your wish is my command.”

  Vinet smiled as they bent down to study Kinaevan’s book together. This felt right.

  Chapter 11: A Wedding

  “I don’t care where she is, show me to her immediately!”

  Vinet glanced up from her meditation, startled. It was the height of Manyu’s Time, almost Niara’s name-day. Even in the capital, the air was bitter cold, but it hadn’t stopped Vinet from bundling into her heaviest cloak to take her daily walk in the gardens. She found it comforting to be near the trees.

  To Vinet’s surprise, it was Pellalindra who came through the door, wrapped in the finest wool cloak she had ever seen. She was dressed impeccably, as usual, but there were dark circles under her eyes and an anxious look on her face.

  Vinet walked over to her, waving reassuringly at the anxious servant who had followed Pellalindra outside. “Lady Pellalindra? What’s wrong?”

  Pellalindra stared at her for a moment, as if she was trying to gather her thoughts. “I need your help,” she whispered. She shivered, wrapping her cloak around her tighter.

  Vinet took her arm, guiding her back towards the house. “Let’s talk in my study,” she said, knowing it was both warmer and more secure.

  Pellalindra followed as Vinet handed a servant their cloaks and ordered tea. Pellalindra said nothing until they were both seated, cups in front of them, and the last servant had left.

  Pellalindra raised haunted eyes to Vinet. “Promise me that you won’t breathe a word of what I am about to tell you,” she said.

  Vinet blinked, taken aback by her words. Before she could answer, Pellalindra elaborated. “It’s nothing to do with the security of the kingdom, or dangerous in any way, I swear, but still…”

  Vinet shook her head. “Of course. I promise,” she leaned forward and took one of Pellalindra’s hands. “I will help you.”

  Pellalindra stared at her hand for a long second, seeming to gather her courage for something. Finally, she looked Vinet in the eye. “I’m with child,” she whispered.

  Vinet’s eyes widened. Pellalindra was the last noble she would have expected to make the same mistake she had. The Lady of Duskryn was so noble,
so aware of propriety!

  “I see,” she said softly. Who is the father? Another noble? Is he married? These questions buzzed through Vinet’s mind. “And the father?” she whispered. She blinked, realizing that Pellalindra might not want to reveal that. “You don’t have to tell me.”

  “Saihid,” Pellalindra said miserably. “My elven guard.”

  Vinet sat back, feeling her mouth open in surprise. She would never have expected that from Pellalindra. Saihid was a commoner, a foreigner, and an elf! “What do you need from me?” she whispered. “I will help you however I can.”

  “I don’t know!” Pellalindra exclaimed, burying her face in her hands. “I don’t think there’s much you can do, but from woman to woman, I need some advice.” She paused, her shoulders shuddering. “I don’t know what to do! If the other nobles find out, then everything I built for Percival’s future will crumple! I saved him from the taint of his father’s reputation, but if my own reputation falters…” she shook her head. “Saihid… he says it’s my judgment, that he will support me. I’ve considered a political marriage, but when the child is born half-elf the truth will be obvious,” she nearly choked, “and I don’t want to lay aside the child.”

  Vinet stared at Pellalindra for a long moment, caught in memory of her own fears. She had panicked at the discovery of her pregnancy. But she’d had options, a sister who was willing to go to a convent.

  “There are several things you could do,” she said, fighting the memories. “You could go to a convent for a religious retreat for a few months and give birth there. Find a discreet one and take only your most trusted maidservant.”

  “But what of the child?” Pellalindra’s hand shook as she raised her cup to her lips.

  Vinet shrugged. “Perhaps it could be the maidservant’s. Or have the child raised separately for a few months, then allow Saihid to bring his child to raise at Duskryn. You can still raise a child without acknowledging it’s yours.” The words nearly caught in her throat as she spoke. “You can tell your child later, when they’re old enough to understand,” she managed.

  “And raise them a commoner?” Pellalindra’s back stiffened. “I will not deny my child their heritage!”

  Vinet barely refrained from pointing out that the child would be half-commoner anyway. “Then you need a noble mother or father for them,” she said. “Do you have any family? Someone you can bring in as a long-lost relative?”

  Pellalindra shook her head. “There is only me. The rest of my lord husband’s family was executed for being complicit in treason.” She bit her lip. “I’ve considered going to Lord Auriel. As steward, he might be able to arrange a political marriage for me.”

  Vinet caught her breath. “Are you sure a marriage is what you want?” she pressed. “What about Saihid?”

  Pellalindra shook her head. “He understands the need for survival among the nobility. He’s seen it! He wants a happy family, but he must know it’s impossible.”

  Vinet felt her heart breaking for the poor elf. “If you change your mind, I can recommend my sister’s convent,” she said. “We can circulate that you needed a religious retreat for a month or so. That is enough time to give birth, providing you have a clever dressmaker.”

  Pellalindra sighed. “I will talk to the steward,” she said finally. “But thank you for the offer, Lady Vinet. At least I now have options.”

  Vinet reached across to squeeze Pellalindra’s hand. “Anytime,” she said sincerely.

  They exchanged a few more pleasantries, but Pellalindra was eager to be off. Since the quicker she arranged a marriage the better she could pass the child off as her husband’s, Vinet could see why she was in a hurry. She stood in the doorway of her study gazing after Pellalindra when the noblewoman left.

  “Vinet? You seem thoughtful.”

  She glanced up at Nazir’s approach. He had taken to calling her Vinet with far more ease than she’d expected. She shook herself. The subject of the past meeting was not her secret to reveal. “Just… thoughtful,” she said. “Do you want to help me with some Elvish?”

  He smiled and nodded. “Of course. Anytime.”

  Anytime. She smiled as they entered the study. It was a nice thought.

  **********

  She lost track of time as the two of them bent over their studying. He had so many insights that she would never have thought of. Not that she wasn’t holding her own in the discussion. At some point they’d gotten distracted from Elvish and were poring over an old Saemarian legend about King Enlil and the dragonriders. The stuff of children’s stories, some would say, but after reading Jimesseran’s journal Vinet was not as inclined as most to think that dragons were extinct.

  There was a pounding on the door, and she looked up, distracted. For a moment, it sounded so loud that she’d thought it was the door to the study, but it was the front door. She waited, frowning, straining her ears to try and determine who their visitor was.

  She heard Gwyn’s sure footsteps and heard her muffled exclamation as the door opened. “Saihid?”

  “Gwyn. I need your help. Please.”

  “Of course, of course. This way.”

  Vinet’s eyes widened. First Pellalindra, and now Saihid? She thought. She hoped Pellalindra had managed to keep it from the servants, otherwise everyone in the capital would know within two days.

  Nazir raised an eyebrow. “Saihid? Pellalindra’s elven guard?” he asked.

  Vinet shrugged. As she raised her eyes, she saw understanding in his. She smiled. “Gwyn should be able to help him. I hope.”

  Nazir nodded and turned back to the books laid out in front of them. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he already knew what was going on. He didn’t ask any questions, though, for which she was grateful. She didn’t want to figure out the morality of answering a question she’d promised not to talk about to someone who already knew the answer. Just the prospect made her head hurt.

  Vinet managed to focus on the research until a gentle knock on the door announced Gwyn’s entry. “Vinet, I…” she stopped short as she saw Nazir.

  “It’s alright,” Vinet said.

  Gwyn hesitated, and Vinet could swear she wanted to glare at Nazir. “That was Saihid, if you hadn’t guessed,” she finally said. “I think he told me what Pellalindra came here earlier to tell you. I hope he doesn’t tell anyone else. He’s very distraught.”

  Vinet nodded. “How is he now?”

  Gwyn sighed. “Better. I think I talked some sense into him.” She eyed Nazir. “Vinet, there’s something else, something I think is new since…”

  She broke off at another knock on the study door. Vinet frowned, but called, “Come in.”

  A servant entered the room, looking very apologetic. “Pardon me, my lady, but this came for you, and I thought you’d want to read it right away.”

  Vinet took the message handed her with a nod of thanks. Her eyes rose as she saw the black griffons of the Duskryn seal on the envelope.

  “It’s from Pellalindra,” she told Gwyn and Nazir as the servant left. She opened the letter and unfolded the paper:

  Dearest Lady Vinet,

  You have my sincerest thanks for your support earlier. I have spoken to our Lord Steward and I have the best of news. After learning the entire truth, he proposed to me himself. The wedding is to take place within a fortnight.

  I will be sending out formal invitations within the next few days, but yours will come from me personally. I do have a request, as a sign of my gratitude. Will you stand for me as witness? I would be honored to have you beside me.

  You have my sincerest gratitude once again.

  Lady Pellalindra Duskryn

  Vinet’s eyebrows rose higher and higher as she read the note. Pellalindra was to marry Lord Auriel? And she was to stand as witness? She would, of course. That was the kind of offer you didn’t refuse, not if you wanted to be friends with one of the most powerful noble families and the steward of the realm!

  “Lady Pellalindra is to ma
rry Lord Auriel,” she said quietly, despite the storm raging in her head. Why would Lord Auriel propose to Pellalindra himself? He could have made her eternally grateful and won the loyalty of some other lord by arranging a marriage. And why would Pellalindra accept him? He’s so…so cold. Nothing at all like Saihid. Mazda’s light, poor Saihid.

  Nazir’s eyebrows rose. Gwyn, however, only nodded sadly. “That’s what Saihid just told me,” she said. “Pellalindra must have been writing that at the same time he left.”

  Vinet took a deep breath. “Send a messenger out to a seamstress immediately,” she said. “I’ll need a dress worth enough to be presentable as Pellalindra’s witness. And help me wrack my head for a good bridal gift for this pair. Gwyn…”

  Gwyn shook her head. “Don’t ask me to accompany you this time,” she said. “I’ll join the guards at the wedding, but I won’t act the part of a wedding guest. Not at this event.”

  Vinet took another deep breath. She’d been half expecting that. “Then you’ll come with me,” she told Nazir.

  Nazir blinked. “Me?”

  “Vinet, is that wise?” Gwyn said at the same time.

  Vinet pressed her lips together. “Someone is accompanying me to this wedding,” she said. “I am not going there by myself. And if it’s not you, my dear oath-sister, then it’s Nazir.”

  “Vinet…” Nazir broke in. “I’ve never been to a noble’s event. Are you certain I’m suitable?”

  Gwyn nodded in agreement with Nazir.

  Vinet squared her shoulders. “Just act like you did when you first met me, and you’ll be fine,” she said. “Others will be the center of attention.”

  Both Gwyn and Nazir gave her disbelieving looks, and she glared at them both. Gwyn sighed in resignation.

  “I’ll send out the orders,” Gwyn said. She gave Nazir one last hard look before she left the room.

  “Vinet…” Nazir protested again.

  She shook her head. “Please, Nazir, I don’t think I could face Pellalindra on my own. Not after…” she shook her head again. Not after I’m suddenly a confidant, after months of political dancing after she threatend me. Not after she’s decided to marry a stranger to preserve her status.