by Hart, Romi
“Whatever…” she says, pausing as if trying to think of a comeback.
“See now I’m the therapist!” I say with an evil little laugh I stole from Skeletor, naturally my favorite Master of the Universe.
“You’re not a therapist. You’re not even close to figuring me out. And hey you know what else, KID?”
“Eh?”
“You’re not even close to getting me into bed. What do you think of that?”
“I think you’re making me horny by the way you’re talking.”
“Well, have fun with that. Because fantasies are all you’re ever going to get. You’re a brat, a kid, a troll, and a rude little boy. And you ought to mind your manners. I don’t sleep with guys who are jerks. Never have.”
“I’m not a jerk, am I?”
“Yeah, you are.”
“Well I am a little bit, but I do feel like I stop short of being a complete asshole. See, guys like me like to be in the zone between being a jerk and total asshole. Asshole behavior is unforgivable, not gentlemanly. But no one likes a pushover, right? If you’re going to friend-zone me, you might as well hear what I’m really thinking.”
“Well-”
“Thinking about you.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’re thinking all sorts of things about me.”
“I am.”
“And I don’t care. So, get over it. I am not going to bed with you. I have someone else I’m interested in dating and I think you know that by now. Have a good weekend with your Vegas whores or whatever it is you do.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll still wait for you.”
“Yeah, I remember. Don’t wait for me. Watch porn or something. I’m sure your Lord George will come to life eventually.”
“Have you thought about my penis in graphic detail?”
“Yeah and I’m NOT impressed. It’s actually very disappointing. So sorry.”
“Tell me something then-”
She hangs up.
Laura just bashed me over the head with her damned mind games earlier today. I always thought I was the creepy-seductive type until I met Laura. She is really driving me crazy. For such an adamantly uninterested woman, she sure has a problem SAYING that she’s not interested in my life.
Oh sure, she says she won’t sleep with me. I get that. And I back away.
But then says something like, “I’m grounded” or “Keep dreaming.” She flirts with me even though she keeps telling me no. It’s making me go bonkers. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even masturbate anymore because Lord George knows I haven’t sealed the deal. She hasn’t shown interest YET, so I don’t get the pleasure. I just get the throbbing heartbeat and crinkly feeling in my stomach every time I talk to her.
God, she makes me feel so alive every time she humors me on the phone. Maybe if she had told me to never call her, I would have forgotten this crush. Maybe. But now, now that she insists on taunting me, how can she blame me for keeping on the chase? Then, of course, she sends me texts like this.
* * *
Byron, I’d really appreciate you knocking off your arrogant attitude. I encounter enough of that at work. I don’t need it coming from you.
Just for your information, I am not a prude and I do enjoy the idea of a sexual and romantic relationship. With someone else! That’s why I’m informing you that I have a growing attraction to Bill and if anything, I’ll probably sleep with him, not you. Probably tonight. And no, I’m NOT going to post where we’re going so you can show up and throw another emo-fit. So please let me go. Go fall in love with someone else. And invite me to your wedding, silly boy.
* * *
I was so provoked by the message that I couldn’t wait to crash the party over dinner. I simply had to show up at her office, shaking my head, and pointing at her in smiling glee.
“Excuse me sir?” her secretary says.
I walk right by her and open Laura’s office door. There are two people already sitting in front of her desk, both turn back to look at me in shock. But I can only see Laura at this point.
“You know what I noticed that was so peculiar?”
She sends me those daggers again. “You know what I notice? You are barging in here like a high schooler!”
“You said I should go fall in love with someone else.”
“So?”
“That was an odd way of phrasing it. Why would you assume I want to fall in love with anybody? If anything, you should have told me to go get laid, like a young reckless billionaire might.”
“I am in the middle of a session! How dare you!”
“It’s okay, don’t worry. Hey folks,” I say to the confused couple. “What are you both fighting about? Let me guess. Money issues?”
“Well,” the husband answers with a shrug.
“Here. Go out and have a second honeymoon, it’s on me.”
I hand over a fistful of cash to his wife, probably thousands of dollars in that wad. They look shocked and waste no time getting the hell out of dodge and onto their romantic getaway vacation.
I knew it was about money. It’s always about money.
“And I’m giving them a story to tell for a lifetime, you know.”
“You’re a piece of shit!” Laura finally screams.
“Oh, now that feels genuine. Lay it on me. Tell me what you really think.”
“You ARE an asshole! You are a fucking piece of shit! You come in here and steal my patients, just so you can fuck around with my head?!”
“You’re the one fucking with my head. That’s what I realized this morning after I read your message.
“NO. I don’t fuck with your head!”
“I think you get some psycho fetishistic thrill out of turning me down. Like, you’re turned on at the idea of saying no to me. I really do believe that.”
“NO, I don’t!” she says right before shoving me in the chest.
“OH!” I react in surprise. “That almost hurt. Now you’re really pissed.”
“YES, I AM! How dare you. How fucking dare you!”
“Now that’s not professional at all, is it?” I ask smiling at her madly and daring her to get a little angrier. I don’t care anymore. She’s pushed me to the very edge, with that shit about fucking someone else just to spite me. I may be a pushover for a lady but I’m not a cuck, that’s for sure.
“GET OUT OF HERE!” she screams.
Suddenly her secretary pops up behind me. “Ms. Katt, would you like me to call the police?”
“NO. Just give me a minute,” she says, smiling. Grabbing the door and slamming it on her secretary’s (confused) face. Oh yeah, her secretary knows something’s up.
“I’m sorry. I just needed to hear your voice…” I say, starting to feel a little…
“Oh bullshit!” she says, shoving my chest with her fingers. “You know what, you immature, chowder head, emo-dunce?”
“What?”
“I do like playing mind games with you. How’s that, huh? Because you’re so fucking stupid, you will never take a no for an answer. You want me to tell you what a real man would do to me, huh? What I’m going to do with that other man INSTEAD of you? Does that turn you on, does it make you weak, dirty little boy?”
“No, it’s doesn’t,” I say. “I want you. I don’t want to share you with anyone. Lord George wants you all to himself.”
“Stop telling me the nickname of your goddamn penis.”
“As long as you kiss it hello, Lord George won’t hold it against you.”
“I don’t want you!” she says viciously. “I want to fuck someone right in front of you! That’s what I want. The only obsession I have is with grabbing that little smirk and wiping it right off your face. I want to strangle you! You deserve to be tortured, Byron because you’re that insane!”
“That doesn’t sound healthy.”
“I SAID I DON’T CARE!” she finally snaps and looks at me in rage. She slaps me hard across the face. So hard I do a double take and grab my stinging cheek.
/> She looks back at me in shock. No, not shock. Not regret. Confusion.
I suddenly grab Laura and take her down to that fucking blue therapist couch. I drag her wiggling body with me and roll her over until she lays across my lap. I’m filled with so much rage, I’m not even seeing straight. My hands are shaking, and my heart is throbbing.
I don’t even know what I’m saying, but I’m shooting crazy words out like an automatic weapon. “Maybe you’re the bad girl, huh? Are you the bratty, out-of-control, hot cougar that needs a good butt slap, huh? You fucking tease, you fucking psycho.”
I open my eyes frantically and put my hands on her skirt, feeling her thick bubbly ass through the material. “Is that what you need, huh? A little discipline? A little smack on that bubble butt, huh?”
“Uh huh?”
Did she just say uh huh? Or did I imagine that?
I roll her skirt up halfway before I stop myself, realizing I’m going way too far.
And then I figure, oh shit I’m in trouble. But since I’ve gone this far…
I slap her ass-cheek hard with my left hand.
The sound is so loud, damn sure the secretary heard it. It was so loud it echoed. It was so hard, I moaned a little bit.
Laura screams and turns her head. She looks at me in…whatever that look is!
I don’t even comprehend what I just did.
Oh shit, there’s no going back now, is there? I went too far this time, I know.
I halfway expected Laura to scream, but instead, she pulls her skirt back up and calmly climbs off my knees and onto the couch. Then she stands up and rolls her skirt back into place.
“I…” I shrug. What the hell can I possibly say now?
She doesn’t even look at me. She flinches, her mouth opens in shock and she quivers. She clears her throat. Her face is beet red, her whole body looks flushed. She takes a deep breath. Finally, she looks my way and gives me the strangest look.
“I can’t believe you just did that. No one has ever EVER spanked me. My own father never spanked me.”
“Sorry…”
Another moment of silence. Awkwardness. She adjusts her skirt, grabbing her wedged panties.
“Did you just have an orgasm or something? Because that looked weird,” I say.
She stares back at me, not really denying it.
Finally, she looks away. “Get out. Please leave.” She says, but surprisingly with a calm voice.
“Yeah. Good idea.”
I almost say something else. I try to say something sweet, something cocky, something apologetic…anything!
But then I remember I just grabbed a mature, intelligent woman and smacked her ass like a maniac. I probably should just leave. And go to a sex rehab or something.
I shake my head and just walk fast, getting the hell out of there.
I glance at the secretary just to see if she heard it.
Oh yeah, she heard. She’s opening her eyes wide and fighting a big smile. She definitely heard it. Umm, me spanking Ms. Laura Katt on her ass, in the most undignified way possible. To which she simply asked me to leave.
I’m going to go home and stick my face in the corner.
It took me a whole of two days, but I finally mustered the courage to text Laura again. She responds like any sane person would.
I can’t believe you’re texting me. How dare you! You pulled my pants down and spanked me, in my office, in front of my secretary. I don’t know what to say to you.
Save your apologies. You know I could sue you. I could report you. You know that?
* * *
“Yeah I know,” I say aloud as I type it back to her. “I did screw up. It was not just juvenile, it was downright crazy, possessed, animalistic. But that’s the problem. When it comes to you and this weird energy we have between us, I can’t control myself. I lose my shit every time we start arguing.”
And she doesn’t exactly make it easy for me to grow a conscience. I mean, she could have told me…well…maybe not. Maybe I am just a lunatic. Maybe I am pushing her way too hard.
* * *
Whether or not I liked it, is not the point. You invaded my privacy and then grabbed my ass! I mean…what the hell, Byron?! What were you thinking? Please tell me. What in the fuck was going through your mind?
* * *
What was I thinking? Well…oh god! I can feel it starting again. My whole life I’ve never had self-control, I just did whatever felt natural. And the world, my family, my associates, they loved me for it.
And then I meet this woman who tells me NO, for the very first time. And how do I react? I lose my sanity. I lose all semblance of self-control, all resistance to the idea of being a perfect gentleman. I JUST CAN’T. Maybe with any other woman, I could.
But with Laura, I don’t know how to quit. I don’t know how to stop. I don’t want it to stop.
* * *
“Call me.”
No. We can text just fine.
Okay, here goes nothing.
“You want to know what I was thinking? I give up, Laura. That’s what I was thinking. I cannot control myself around you. I’m obsessed with you. I tried really hard to just be your friend but I can’t. I can’t handle it. I can’t be a normal, intelligent person when I’m around you. You bring out the animal in me, the demon, the raving monster. I’ve wanted you more than any other woman in my life.
What I was thinking? I was thinking that I just wanted to pull your skirt off and pound that ass of yours. The same thing I was thinking when I first met you. And all those times we’ve been talking.
I don’t know if I want to fuck my therapist or my mom’s hot best friend. Or if it’s just some weird mother issues, or if I just get so turned on by snarky women who reject me. I can’t figure it out, okay?
But I’ve never been this turned on before. You’re all I think about. You’re all I crave in the universe. I would die happy if I just got to kiss you and make love to every inch of your body. I love your body, I love gawking at you and pretending as if I’m talking to you when I’m actually just worshiping your every curve.
What am I thinking? Thinking I’ve never, ever, waited for anybody or been exclusive with anybody like this. But I want you so bad, I’m letting you make the rules. You’re worth it. You’re perfect. I don’t know if we’re a bad match, honestly. I don’t even know if you’re a mega-awesome woman with a brain and a good heart and that’s why I’m falling for you.
Or if you’re a psycho bitch who’s playing me just like I thought I was playing you. I don’t know, but what I do know is that I will climb Everest, I will crack the safe, I will become whatever man you want me to become just for a taste of your passion. You possess me.
I could give you everything. Enjoy it. Enjoy this feeling. Have you ever had a man who lusted after every fiber of your being? Who couldn’t even keep his hands to himself whenever he was put in the same room as you? I have no shame, no pride, no semblance of being a mature adult, not when I see that perfectly shaped ass of yours.
PLEASE. Cure me. Take me. Use me. Use me selfishly, for your own purposes. I don’t even care. Just let me get this demon out of me and help me get over you. I’ll do anything to remove this temptation. Anything! I want to go back to being normal but I can’t, not when you are this firmly implanted in my brain.”
And yeah…she ignored me. Jesus, what could she say to all that anyway? I definitely didn’t lie about what I feel. I’m still obsessing over Laura for four days now since I touched her ass. I know it must be some strange fetish thing, maybe it’s just that she stands up to me. I don’t know. But all I know is I can’t keep living without her.
I can’t keep trying to control myself because I am failing at it. And when I fail, I get stuck in a loop of OCD psychosis. I will roll, and roll, and fight and fight until there’s nothing left.
Oh Christ, I start sending her more texts. I can’t help myself. I can’t control it. My brain feels like a hard dick that’s fixing to spasm and squirt.
Come over here and pound all my young rebellion out of me. Punish me like you want to punish me. Let me come to you. Put this fire out. Just for one night.
I know you feel this attraction too. I don’t know about you, but I can’t sleep at night. I’m hard all night long for you. But I won’t jack-off, not until it’s really you. On top of me, under me, fucking me.
Oh God Laura, can you feel it? Let’s just give in. One night, never speak of it again. NO, NO, NO. I’m sorry. I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I’m a bad friend, I know I am. I can’t control myself,, not when it comes to you. But you told me NO and I should respect that. I have to respect that. If I have feelings for you…
Which obviously I do…I have to respect your decision. So please, write back to me right now. Right now. Tell me this is all in my head. Tell me I’m delusional. Tell me you don’t want me as badly as I want you. Break my heart but do it right now. Tell me to walk away forever and I swear to God, I will. Just tell me. Tell me you don’t feel it. I’ll get professional help, I will. If you tell me right now it’s all my imagination.”
Silence. Nothing. Not a single letter in response.
Until hours later.
I did like it. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. I need to go sleep now.
Chapter 6
Laura
The bed shakes back and forth, and all I can hear are the sounds of my own muted sighs between pillow sheets. It’s so hot. My body is sweating, it’s burning up.
I exhale deeply and inhale, feeling a bit woozy.
I ignored Byron all night long, even when his texts became crude and downright mad. But right after I texted him the truth, that I quietly orgasmed after he spanked me.