“I can do this.”
“You can. And I’m going to be right beside you no matter what happens. So, you want to go meet her?”
“Yes,” I answered, inside starting to freak out.
Walking back towards the nursery, I saw Zach with the precious little package curled against his muscular chest. His long, tattooed arms wrapped around the tiny pink bundle; his eyes closed. “Why’s he still in there with her? Don’t they usually just drop them off?”
“Yeah, normally. Poor guy, thought she was a he when he first got her. Got a bit of a shock.”
“I’ll bet.”
“So… he’s still here because…”
“Because there’s something about him. She doesn’t want to leave his arms…”
“Can you blame her?” I spat out, not meaning to. The look of surprise on Sarah’s face as she looked at me was quickly replaced with a wide grin.
“I guess not. Anyway, every time he tries to put her down, she screams so loudly she ends up gasping for breath with tears running down her face. None of us, Zach included, could handle seeing her so upset, so he’s stayed with her every second.”
If looking at him hadn’t made me pregnant, hearing how good he was caring for her would’ve knocked me up instantly.
Pushing open the door, we stepped into the nursery to hear the steady beeping of machines, soft whimpers and snorts of the tiny babies, and the rhythmic snores of the gorgeous, shirtless fire fighter with his finger wrapped in a tiny little fist as she clung to him. As much as I wanted to meet her, I didn’t want to wake him or take her from his arms.
Stepping past me, Sarah reached out and touched his shoulder. Immediately, his chocolate eyes popped open and focused on me. Up close he was even more stunning. From the deep dimple on his cheek, the short cropped dirty-blond hair, and the look of pure adoration that consumed him when he glanced down and checked on her.
“Zach,” Sarah said, drawing his attention back to her. “This is Lily. Lily’s a carer and she will be taking her home for now.”
“What do you mean ‘taking her home’?”
Oh. My. God. His accent flooded my lacy panties. Sarah was a dead woman the moment I got her alone.
“It’s okay. Lily’s been cleared by family services. She will look after her until a forever home or a foster home becomes available,” Sarah explained patiently.
As carefully as he could, Zach squirmed in the chair, straightening his spine while not waking her. “Why the hell can’t I take care of her?” he practically growled. “She likes me. She’s happy in my arms.” This guy was completely smitten. Not that I could blame him.
“It’s not the way it works. You have to have gone through the process to make sure you can offer the child a safe environment. Lily’s been on the list for years. I promise you, Zach, I’ll vouch for her. I’ve known her for years. Lily and I went to school together. She’ll be safe with Lily.”
“You can come visit her any time you want,” I blurted out, shocking us all.
Zach looked straight at me, and suddenly I felt breathless. I was a mess. I’d been in the middle of preparing a bouquet when Sarah called, and instead of taking the time to pull myself together, I stuffed the buckets of flowers back in the cool room, grabbed my purse, locked the door and beelined it straight for the hospital. Now with Zach looking me up and down, I was self-conscious.
“Thanks,” he replied gruffly, resigned to the fact he was going to have to hand her over.
Finding his feet, he stood up, dwarfing me. I was only five-foot three and I didn’t reach his shoulder. As he stepped towards me, I breathed in his scent. I’d never been so glad to be in a hospital as I was in this moment. I may need medical attention soon if he got any more intoxicating. “Here you go.” He extended his arms, and I was hypnotized by the way his muscles rippled.
The moment he settled her in my arms, I was a goner. Completely and utterly in love. How someone could walk away and leave something so precious, I’d never understand. I managed a full minute of nursing her and staring down into her beautiful face, jealously admiring her long, dark lashes before I got a demonstration of just how powerful her lungs were.
Rocking back and forth, I tried to soothe her. The harder I tried, the louder she screamed. “Come on, sweetheart. You’re okay,” I tried placating her.
Five minutes passed and she didn’t settle. Her face was bright red and cheeks stained with tears, and my heart was breaking for her. Zach had tugged his shirt over his head, covering the tattoos I wanted to know more about and the abs I wanted to lick. He’d stepped back to give me room, but as her cries echoed, he began pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair. Anxiousness rolling off him in waves.
“What’s wrong with her?” I asked Sarah, hoping there was a simple explanation. Usually, kids loved me. I wasn’t being arrogant, normally I was the one parents called for babysitting or at dinner parties I was the one who ended up sitting on the floor reading books and tucking tired toddlers into their beds.
“Nothing. We’ve checked all her vitals; she’s got a clean diaper, she’s had a bottle. This is what she’s done all day. I can’t explain it.”
Sarah looked to Zach who looked like he was in serious pain. When she nodded, he moved towards me. “Mind if I try?” he asked.
Reluctantly, I handed her over. Thirteen seconds. Thirteen damn seconds and her cries had fallen silent. From the moment he settled her against his chest to the time she stopped crying, it’d taken thirteen damn seconds.
“What’d you do that I didn’t?” I asked, staring at him like he was some kind of magician. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it, but it was undeniable. This guy was the baby whisperer.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve never held a kid before.”
It wasn’t fair. He had no idea what he was doing and yet he was able to settle her without really even trying. Sarah’s phone chirped as her eyes darted back and forth between us. “I’m sorry guys. I have to go. Lily, there’s a bag there with some essentials in there. Diapers, pacifiers, a blanket, a new jumpsuit and a few other bits and pieces. I finish at seven, so I can drop by on my way home if you need.”
“That’d be good. Thank you.” I couldn’t believe it. She was leaving me here with a baby that hated me and a stranger I wanted to lick from head to toe. And I wasn’t a girl who did that. I was a good girl. I was the girl who always had fresh flowers on the kitchen table. The girl who dusted twice a week and only ate chocolate once a month. I didn’t do hot and sexy firefighters who had me imagining all sorts of decadent things.
“Can I leave you two to sort this out?”
“Sure,” Zach answered, his deep voice rumbling through me.
Not trusting myself to speak, I bent down and scooped up the bag Sarah had prepared for me. I was trying to figure out what to do. I couldn’t very well take Zach home with me, much to my disappointment, so I was going to have to sort something out.
“We’ll be fine,” I confirmed, keeping my voice as steady as I could.
“Good luck, guys,” Sarah threw out before scurrying out the door.
For a few awkward minutes we stood there, both staring at the beautiful little girl in his arms. Now the tears had stopped, I snuck a look at her. With her wet lashes and damp forehead, she was everything I ever wanted.
“Would it be weird to name her?” I asked Zach, not entirely sure why his opinion mattered to me. But it did.
“I’m not sure,” he replied honestly.
“I just feel silly not having a name to call her. Even if it’s just something we call her.”
“That makes sense. Do you have any suggestions?”
I never thought I’d get to name my daughter. I never thought I’d be given the chance. Even if it was only for me and only for today, I was going to do it. “I always liked the name Ava.”
“I like Ava. What do you think, Ava?” he cooed at the baby in his arms. He was so damn adorable.
Asking her if she liked her name. Instead of answering, she grabbed his finger—the one he’d been unconsciously rubbing back and forth across her belly—and sucked it into her mouth. “I’d say she agrees.”
Pushing the pink blanket away from her face, I looked down at her, blinking back my own tears. “Hi, Ava. I’m Lily,” I introduced myself. For a moment, I stood there looking at her before taking a step back. “Well, I guess we should head out. Would you mind carrying her to the car?” I asked, hopeful. The last thing I wanted was to have everyone staring at me, judging me like I was a terrible parent as I carried her through the corridors.
“Sure.”
Zach was a man of few words, but he didn’t need them. Heading for the door, I held it open and let him pass. As we moved through the deserted halls, me leading the way, I felt the warmth of Zach’s huge hand against the center of my back as he steered us through the corridors. If anyone saw us, I could only imagine what they’d think. We looked like a happy little family. Looks could definitely be deceiving.
We reached my car, and I set the bag on the back seat before opening the door to the car seat I already had there. I was lucky I hadn’t taken it out after I’d looked after a friend’s baby the other night. Even though I went to their house and didn’t need to leave, I was the type of girl who preferred to be prepared just in case. Thus, there was already a professionally installed capsule in the back seat of my Prius.
“Did you want to put her in?” Zach asked, looking confused.
Taking a breath, I prepared myself for the squealing to start. Good thing I did. As soon as Zach let go, it started. As quick as I could, I settled her in the seat and buckled her up. Closing the door, I turned to face Zach who had his hands buried in his pockets, his brow furrowed, looking everywhere but at me.
“Well, thank you,” I said, not really sure what it was I was supposed to do or say in this situation.
“You’re welcome. Well, good luck. I’ll leave you to it.”
Zach started walking away, and I was hypnotized by the way his ass filled out his jeans. Chastising myself, I shook my head. Now was not the time to be daydreaming about boys. I had a little girl who needed me. Ava was my number one priority. It didn’t stop me calling out to him though. “Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you need a lift home?”
“Nah. It’s fine. I’m not going to ask you to go out of your way,” he declined politely.
“It’s not out of my way.”
“How do you know?” he questioned.
Shit! He had me there. The truth was, I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to him just yet. Besides, I could hear Ava’s cries through the closed window. Needing to wrap this up and get moving, I offered, “I live on Main Street above the florist.”
“Above the florist?”
“Yeah. I own Daisy’s Flora. It was my grandmothers and now, well now it’s mine.” Good work Lily. Why don’t you just go and share your whole life story with the guy? I’m sure he doesn’t want to hear it.
“Are you anywhere near there?”
“In that case, would you mind dropping me at the station?”
“Climb in.”
3
ZACH
I’d never met anyone like Lily before in my life. There was just something about her. Sitting beside her in her car, Ava screeching and screaming behind me, I couldn’t help but notice how she white-knuckled the steering wheel. She was a contradiction. Her almost black hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail with a pale pink ribbon tied in a bow which matched her dress. A dress I didn’t think anyone even made these days, let alone wore. It was one of those fifties housewives’ dresses with the belt cinched around her narrow waist before flaring out, and when she’d slipped behind the wheel, I could’ve sworn I saw the hint of a lacy petticoat. But it was the pearls at her neck that had me fascinated. Lily was the perfect image and, given what I’d learnt about her in the first few minutes, sainthood wasn’t much of a stretch.
Pulling into the empty spot beside my truck, Lily looked behind me at Ava, sighing heavily. “She hasn’t stopped crying.”
Not really knowing what to do or say, I went with what I thought she needed to hear. “I’m sure as soon as you get her home and settled, she’ll calm down.”
“I hope so.”
“Look, why don’t I give you my number, and if you get really stuck you can give me a call. I mean, I’m not exactly sure what I can do, but I’m willing to try,” I found myself offering.
“Are you sure?” Her voice was laced with relief. “I mean, I probably won’t call.”
“You can call.” She handed me her phone, and I added my name and number. Untangling my long legs from her tiny car, I looked in the back seat and saw Ava. Her face was flushed and streaked with tears once again. Even though I probably looked like a complete pussy, I dragged my shirt over my head. “Look, I have no idea if this will help or not but take this.”
“You’re giving me your shirt?”
“Wrap her in it. It might help. I don’t know, it’s dumb,” I tried to take it back, but Lily wasn’t letting go.
“Thank you. It’s a great idea. I’ll give it a try.”
“Okay then. Well, good luck.”
Not knowing what else to do, I closed the door and walked away. As I jumped into my truck, I watched Lily back out and head down the street. Dialing Mom’s number, I gave her a heads up that I was on my way and started towards her place.
Half an hour later I pulled up to Mom’s, feeling completely off balance. After digging a somewhat clean shirt from the bag on the back seat, I bounded up the steps and let myself in.
“Mom, I’m here!” I called out as I toed off my boots.
For as long as I’d been coming here, the place hadn’t changed. Everything was still exactly how it should be. The cupboard was lined with photos of my life. Even the awkward prepubescent teen phase was memorialized on the mantel, despite how many times I tried to hide them in the drawer.
“Kitchen,” she returned, and I headed in her direction.
Rounding the corner, I found her sitting at the bench trying to finish the crossword puzzle in one of her silly gossip rags. Leaning down, I dropped a kiss at her temple. “Five down. Flightless Bird. Three Letters. Emu.”
She jotted it down. “I would’ve got that.”
“I know.”
Closing the book, she turned to face me. As much as I loved my mother, it was hard not to see how old she was looking. Time had not been kind to her. The wrinkles on her face were deeply etched lines, and her knuckles clutching the pencil were gnarled. Every single time I looked at her, it just reconfirmed I’d made the right decision to move. Having her live half a world away and fighting arthritis, which was slowly but surely stealing her independence, as well as what I believed was a broken heart. When Dad died, he took a part of Mom with him and she’d never really recovered. Not that I could blame her. Dad was her person and without him, Mom had to find her way without her best-friend and partner.
“So, you hungry?”
“You cooking?”
“For you, my boy, whatever you want.”
When I was a kid, I used to cop a lot of shit for being a mommy’s boy, but I had the last laugh. Who else could rock into their parents’ place and, even at twenty-six, be doted on like they were the spoiled eight-year-old they’d once been?
When I opened the fridge, I tried to hide the wince when I saw how bare it was. There was half a block of cheese, a tub of butter, milk and a loaf of bread that had seen better days. “Mom, where’s the rest of your food?” I asked, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.
Waving my comment off dismissively, she just smiled, cracking my frustration wide open. “It’s shopping day tomorrow. Don’t worry about it.”
Bullshit it was shopping day tomorrow. I hadn’t been over to visit for almost two weeks, I’d been too caught up with work and the renovations on my new place to make the drive. Not anymore. That ended no
w. I had to come over more often. If she couldn’t take care of herself, then I’d take care of her.
“Ah, that makes sense,” I lied, not wanting to make her cry. I couldn’t stand it when she cried. Seeing your mother teary, I don’t care how old you are or how tough you think you are, was enough to drop anyone to their knees. “Well, I’m starving. I came off shift this morning and I haven’t been home yet. Why don’t you go get changed and I’ll take you out for a steak?”
“Zach, sweetheart, you don’t need to take me out. You go out and have fun, I’m just going to have a sandwich.”
“Mom.” I came over to where she was still sitting and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, for the first time I realized how skinny she’d become. I could feel the bones in her shoulders poking out, and I didn’t like it. Not one little bit. “Don’t make me go and sit alone in a restaurant looking like a loser. Would you please join me for dinner?”
With a huff, she pushed me away. “Fine. But I’m getting a glass of wine,” she negotiated.
“We’ll see, missy,” I teased back, loving the way her face came alive. I would’ve bought her a whole damn winery if I could to keep that look there. “Now, go put your good slippers on and we’ll get out of here.”
She made it halfway down the hall before she paused and turned back to me. “You know, Zach, you’re becoming mighty bossy in your old age.”
“Yeah, but you still love me.”
“Some days,” she mumbled, disappearing into her bedroom.
As soon as she was gone, I slipped straight into reconnaissance mode. Checking the cupboards, I wish I was surprised to find them as empty as the fridge. This was not good. I had no idea when the last time she’d eaten a decent meal was, and it wasn’t exactly like I could ask her without pissing her off. Stealing her pen, I found a notepad and started a list. I’d fill this place with food and then make sure I was around enough to make sure she ate it.
Fallen: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World) Page 2