by Laura Acton
Inside Nick’s Home – 7:55 p.m.
Nick peered out the window beside his front door after alerting Jon when a car came to a halt outside his home. He observed as Dan exited the taxi then stood on the sidewalk unmoving.
“What’s he doing?” Jon mused aloud as he joined Nick, pulling aside the curtain to get a better view of his teammate. “Nick, he’s shaking.”
“I see.” And Nick did. What he viewed concerned him. In a rare unguarded moment, Dan’s emotions overrode his stoic façade. Unmistakable fear, anger, and pain cycled over the younger man’s features.
When Dan turned, hesitated, looked to the house again, but began to stride away, a hint of panic entered Jon’s voice. “Nick, we’re losing him. He can’t leave. We won’t get him back if he does.”
Nick agreed, opening the door in one swift motion and stepped to his porch, Jon following hot on his heels.
Outside Nick’s Home – 8:00 p.m.
Unwilling to lose Dan, Nick acted fast. In his calmest, soothing negotiator voice, the one he used when dealing with subject’s experiencing an emotional meltdown, he said, “Dan, please come in. We want to talk with you.”
A bitter laugh emitted from Dan as he halted mid-step and turned his head to Nick. “Yeah, right. So you can remind me once more of how I got what I deserved?” He continued to walk away.
Dan’s cynicism sliced Jon deep and touched him at his core. The pain he caused his friend oh so evident. Unfortunately, relying on ingrained behaviors to cover his own hurt and concern, Jon angrily yelled, “Broderick, get your ass in here now!”
Joe blanched at his brother’s words, and his eyes darted to Janie as he hovered near Jon. “Oh, no. Where’s Brody or Hamon?”
Janie sucked in a breath, realizing things were going downhill fast. Removing her hand from Nick’s shoulder, she said, “Stay here. Rein in Jon. I’m going to find one of them.”
Shaking his head, Joe muttered, “Easier said than done with Jonnie.”
A sad smile formed on Janie’s face as she faded to search for Dan’s guardian angels. Joe’s words were the truth. Jon tended to be as stubborn as Dan and possessed entrenched destructive habits too. She maintained hope one day the two men would figure each other out, but for now, their dynamic required intermediaries or they would drive one another to the brink.
Dan stopped short at the anger emanating from Jon. He turned and faced his tactical lead. Rage surged as he shouted, “Why the hell should I? You already told me what a pathetic, unworthy fuck up I am. It took me time … I’m rather slow in that regard … but I now accept I don’t deserve to be loved, and I’m meant to walk this world alone.” He strode away at a rapid pace.
Bernael’s maniacal laughter filled the ethereal realm. He halted as soon as Jon’s angel tensed and scanned the area. I must be careful. If Hamon spots me when he arrives, all my efforts will be for naught.
Stunned by both outbursts, Nick’s mind whirled trying to figure out what to say to breach Dan’s mindset. Son of a bitch. Jon needs to keep his damned mouth shut. His use of anger to cover concern won’t cut it anymore.
Uneasiness filled Joe. He could find no source for the wicked laugh he overheard. Worried something dangerous lurked out of his sight, he urgently whispered to Jon, “Stop him. Protect Dan. Don’t let him go off alone.”
Immobile for only one second after Dan began his brisk stride, Jon bolted after him. Why he reacted the way he did, Jon would never be able to explain fully … it just felt like the right and only thing to do.
Dan never saw his assailant coming. His body slammed to the ground, pinned to the sidewalk by a heavy weight on his back, unknown until he was flipped over and Jon’s rage-filled face hovered inches above him. It took a moment for sounds to filter through his shock.
Jon’s tone remained furious as he declared, “Damn! Dan, you’re not alone. Do you hear me? I am not letting you leave. I don’t care if I have to drag you into the house and cuff you to a chair. You’re not leaving until we fix this. Until I can get it through your thick skull, you are wanted and deserve better than how we treated you.”
Years of training from Ripsaw took over as Dan reacted. In a flash, he executed a move which put him atop Jon. Straddling Jon’s midsection, pinning Jon’s arms with his knees, Dan roared, “Shut the fuck up! Leave me the hell alone! I’m sick to death of being used, manipulated, and discarded. I’m no longer naïve! None of you will ever truly care about me. I can’t count on anyone but myself. Not you, not Lexa, not the team, and not my damned father.”
Jon remained stock still, the deadly sapphire eyes flashed with both fury and soul-deep pain which sent an icy chill straight into his heart. I hurt him … I didn’t mean too … dammit! He scrambled to his feet after Dan shoved off him and started to run.
I’m not letting Dan go. I’ll run him down, drag him back, and make him understand the truth … I do care. Adrenaline pumping fast and furious, Jon sprinted, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt Dan could and would rapidly out-distance him if he didn’t grab him within the first hundred yards.
Pouring on a burst of speed and launching himself at Dan, as if he possessed wings, Jon latched on to the fleeing rookie’s shoulders. They went down in a tangle of arms and legs.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Joe released Jon after using his wings to propel him forward, but his respite only lasted a split second as the two men fought.
Bernael’s eyes glowed, and he panted with excitement as the darkness began cloaking Dan. Samael will be so happy with me.
Materializing with Brody and Hamon, Janie viewed Jon and Dan thrashing on the ground. She dashed to Nick. “Go to Dan … hurry. Stop them.”
Nick rushed up to his teammates, aghast by their behavior. “Quit fighting! Now! This will not fix a damned thing.”
Somehow, Jon gained the upper hand and put Dan in a choke hold, his arm squeezing tight as his legs wrapped around Dan’s trapping them.
Dan’s eyes bore into Nick while he struggled to get out of Jon’s grasp. Though hard to breathe, he managed to speak with raw pain and defeat imbuing his tone, “What is there to fix? I know where I stand. No one wants me. I’ll never be worthy. Alone. Always so very alone.”
“Stay back!” Hamon ordered the others, as he took in the scene. Darkness consumed half of Daniel and steadily encroached … if it covered him entirely, Samael would win. I arrived almost too late and must take drastic action to save Daniel’s soul. I refuse to lose him as I did Denoel.
Taking a knee, Hamon placed a hand on Daniel’s forehead and heart. White light flashed blindingly as he bowed his head and chanted in the archaic tongue of an almost forgotten Angelic language, “Lord, grant my charge respite. Protect his soul from darkness, free his heart of pain, give his mind peace.”
Forgetting to remain hidden, Bernael growled, “NO! I almost had him.”
Brody whipped around, his eyes going wide with surprise upon spying the demon, who didn’t look like any other he ever encountered … handsome rather than hideous. Shoulder-length, shaggy, ginger hair tucked behind ears revealed a chiseled, attractive face on the tall and lithe fallen angel sporting gleaming black wings. The only menacing feature, hooded tawny eyes which burned brightly with hellfire. “Who are you?” Brody demanded.
Joe gaped, his eyes moving between what Hamon was doing and the unknown demon. The laughter … I was right, Dan was in danger.
A shudder rippled through Janie upon viewing the strikingly beautiful evil spirit, but she lay a hand on Nick’s back, infusing him with calm, settling him so he could offset Jon’s aggressiveness.
Enraged Hamon bested him yet again, Bernael disappeared as abruptly as he had appeared.
After Dan stilled, Nick crouched. The absolute desolation, terror, and fury in Dan’s watery eyes seized his heart. His teammate didn’t even flinch when he reached out a hand and gently placed it on Dan’s cheek. Nick’s voice cracked with sorrow, “Dan, what have we done to you? I’m so sorry we hurt you.”
As Nick brushed the salty water from his own eyes with one hand, he thumbed away the tears which spilled from Dan’s with the other. With gentleness, Nick said, “Please come inside.”
Shattered by Dan’s words, Jon didn’t want to let go, but when Dan’s body went still and lax in his arms, he released his grip. His panicked gaze flicked to Nick. “I didn’t mean to choke him out, but I couldn’t let him leave, not like this. Not before I apologize and set things right.”
Nick glanced at Jon. “You didn’t. Dan’s not out.”
Relief swept through Jon swiftly followed by concern. If not out, then what? He shifted to a seated position taking Dan with him, experiencing no resistance at all from the man he held. “Dano, you alright?”
No, I’m not alright. Defeat, confusion, and emptiness claimed Dan as his eyes glazed over, losing all emotion.
If Nick had not been watching so intently, he might’ve missed the barely perceptible shake of Dan’s head before it drooped downward.
Brody’s attention shifted back to Dan after the unknown demon disappeared. And he noted the shrinking shadow moving off Danny … chased by light. “Hamon, what happened? Is Danny okay? What did you say?”
Hamon sat back, resting on his heels, drained, he lifted his head meeting Brody’s gaze. “Samael almost consumed Daniel. I spoke an ancient invocation. A risky one which leaves Daniel vulnerable to physical harm, but temporarily shields his soul from evil and offers him respite from anguished and harmful thoughts.”
Noting the glassy eyes, and the lack of response from Dan, something clicked in Brody’s mind. “He’s catatonic.”
“Yes. An effect of the entreaty. It leaves him defenseless, and he usually doesn’t recall being in this state. I use it as a last resort and only when Daniel is in the presence of mortals who will care for him. You and your unit took exceptional care of him in Kandahar. I trust Nick and Jon to do the same now.”
“He was catatonic for three weeks then … will it last that long now?” Brody knelt and put a hand on Danny’s shoulder.
“No … he will come out of it soon. In Afghanistan, I continually renewed my invocation until Daniel was capable of coping … that is the longest it ever took, but given what he endured, it was not unexpected.” Hamon rose. “I must recharge. I’ll check in with you later. He is in caring hands, but stay with him.”
Turning to Joe and Janie, Hamon expressed his gratitude. “Thank you both. Bernael is one of Samael’s strongest minions, a fallen angel who possesses unique powers. He’s been after Daniel on and off for twenty-six years.” As he faded, Hamon realized upon his return he must provide Alpha Team’s angels more details on the tricky Bernael.
Nick’s discerning hazel eyes assessed Dan’s condition. The tremor coursing through Dan told him he needed to take his officer someplace safe and warm. He considered calling Jim but decided to wait for the moment. He appears to be showing signs of shock. This mess will take a lot more effort to remedy than I realized, but first I must deal with his physical needs.
After emitting a quiet sigh, Nick mouthed the word ‘shock,’ to Jon, who only nodded. Leaning closer to Dan, Nick spoke using a soft, kind timbre, “Dan, we are going to move you inside my home. We’ll take care of you. Are you okay with that?”
When Nick received no response, Jon shifted to his feet in a crouched position while still grasping Dan’s limp body. He nodded to Nick and each slung one of Dan’s arms over their shoulders and clasped him at the waist before standing in unison, bringing Dan up with them. Though Dan appeared to hold his own weight, Jon recognized he would crumple to the sidewalk without support. Slowly, they walked towards Nick’s home.
Mending Fences
60
June 26
Nick’s Home – Family Room – 8:10 p.m.
Once inside, Nick and Jon maneuvered Dan to the couch and sat him down in the corner, so the plush arm would support him and keep him upright. Noticing an increase in Dan’s shivers, Nick hurried to the linen closet and pulled out a blanket. Registering he selected the one he used for Lexa weeks ago, he considered choosing another but stopped himself. Dan won’t know, and this is my warmest, softest blanket.
Returning to the room, he leaned Dan forward and with Jon’s help wrapped the coverlet around their rookie’s back and shoulders, pulling it closed in the front. Noting Dan’s vacant gaze, Nick gently grasped Dan’s wrist to take his pulse. Finding it running a little fast for an average person, but after the Kolff building call he now understood Dan’s pulse was much lower than average … so a rate of ninety was racing for him. Deliberating whether to call for medics, Nick glanced at Jon with a bit of trepidation in his demeanor. “I’m not sure it is wise to contact Jim. It might exacerbate the issue.”
Jon slumped to the sturdy coffee table, assessing Dan, who appeared tanned yet pale at the same time. “I agree. Jim is quite protective of Dan and wanted to kick my ass when I explained what I did. If he finds him like this, Jim might follow through. Let’s wait, and if Dan doesn’t come around, we call EMS.”
Conceding the truth in Jon’s statement, and not wanting to complicate the situation further, Nick nodded. “I’m going to make us some coffee. A warm beverage might help.” He started to leave but halted and lowered his voice, “Stay here and keep an eye on him. But for the love of God, keep your mouth shut. Allow me to take the lead tonight. We don’t need a repeat of the bar, check your anger at the door. Remember who you’re,” Nick used air quotes to emphasize the next two words, “negotiating with … it’s counterproductive.”
Upon receiving a nod from Jon, Nick sighed, hoping he could salvage things and mend badly broken fences. “I’ll be back shortly.”
As Jon watched Dan stare with unfocused eyes at the opposite wall, he reflected on many things. I hate seeing a strong, capable man reduced to a catatonic state. If only I could roll back time … rein in my words and approach the whole damned situation differently.
I better learn how to deal with Dan appropriately. He is so different from the rest. Dan exudes strength and confidence … so much so that I failed to recognize everyone can be fragile at times, including him. From everything I listened to the night he learned about his lungs, I should’ve kept in mind he’s experienced more than his fair share of emotional and physical pain. Dan’s insecurity and anxiety run deep though he rarely allows anyone to view them.
Jon recalled Dan reaching out for Bram in the hotel when he awoke adrift in emotional turmoil after reading West Donner’s suicide note and discovering the truth. He also thought about all they learned as the team investigated Dan’s six dreadful years in the field. Classified details none of them could ever share. The young man … Jon considered twenty-nine young in his book … suffered a lifetime of injustice all while believing himself unwanted and unloved.
Though Dan misconstrued things, the fact remained, this was Dan’s reality for two decades. One year of comprehending he had been wrong probably was not enough to wipe out twenty years of isolation.
Guilt washing over him, Jon’s gunmetal eyes lowered to his lap as they filled with uncharacteristic tears. I knew all this and yet I still lashed out at him. I made Dan feel unwanted again and triggered his insecurities. I can be such a clueless, inconsiderate ass. I’m the lowest of the low. I don’t deserve his forgiveness or friendship … though I want it.
After wiping away the welled fluid, Jon rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. How the hell am I going to fix this? How can I put the pieces back together?
Joe lay a hand on his brother’s shoulder, sadness filling him at the anguish Jon exhibited and wondered if all was permanently broken. He glanced at Brody who hovered near Dan, singing. Brody’s voice did the alternative rock song justice as he belted out ‘The Light’ by Disturbed. The words were perfect for this situation.
Drawing strength himself as he listened, Joe whispered to Jon, “Listen to me. Rekindle your light to brush away the shadows. All is not forsaken. Search your m
emories to find your path forward.”
Lifting his head and rubbing his ear, Jon inhaled as a memory lit a fire in him. Wait, listen, and challenge. Will Blaze’s advice work tonight? He exhaled gradually. Wait and listen for sure … but I’ll let Nick direct the conversation … he is the voice of reason. If anyone can resolve this unforgivable tragedy, it is him.
Nick’s Home – Kitchen – 8:20 p.m.
Nick prepared the coffee maker and turned it on. As he rested his palms on the counter, his eyes fixated on the empty pot as he breathed slow to center himself. He must remain calm and use every ounce of his training to ensure he didn’t lose a member of his family.
The carafe was half-full by the time he realized tonight’s discussion would likely to go into the wee hours. Dan appeared wiped out now, so if they talked late into the night, he might be too tired to do his requals. He pulled out his phone, dialed Gambrill, and waited for him to answer. “Commander, Pastore here. I need you to reschedule Dan’s assessments for Sunday. He will not be up to doing them tomorrow.”
Surprised by the call and request, Walter asked, “Why?”
Nick searched for a plausible reason, coming up short. He opened his mouth, to tell the truth, but stopped as Gambrill supplied a cause.
“Jet lag. I didn’t think this through properly. Dan surely needs time to readjust to our time zone. I’ll adjust the schedule and notify Harmon and the new department psychologist.”
Though wanting to ask where Dan had been, because he certainly couldn’t have been in Ottawa since the two cities were in the same zone, instead, he said, “Yes, he appears quite tired. Sunday will be better. Text me the times, and I’ll communicate them to Dan. And although we understand Colton will be the one running the evaluation, Jon and I will be there to support Dan. No doubt he will pass with flying colors as always.”