Ella: A Novel

by Jessilyn Stewart Peaslee

  He stopped himself. He probably thought I’d lost the ability to speak. Perhaps I had.

  In reaction to whatever Will saw on my face, his own face softened. He raised his hand and touched my arm. “Ella,” he whispered. I looked up into his eyes and felt every care I’d ever had drift away into nothingness. I felt the now-familiar something spark inside of me that I felt in front of the fire two nights before. He glanced down at my lips, but this time he didn’t look away.

  Before I could put a name to what I was feeling, there was a faint rumbling in the distance. It sounded like a carriage, no, many carriages—dozens of carriages. The house shook faintly and the chandelier danced lightly in the air above us. I looked at Will in confusion and he looked at me in unashamed anguish. He bent his head down and pressed his lips tenderly to my cheek.

  “He’s coming for you. It’s you he wants.” He dropped his hand and walked slowly away. I heard the back door close softly.

  ***

  THE RUMBLING CAME TO A STOP AND THE OMINOUS SILENCE that followed was palpable. I hadn’t moved since Will walked out the back door, except to touch my fingers to the place his lips had touched my cheek. I was trying to figure out why he had left me. Did he want me to marry the prince? Did he not love me after all?

  A brisk knock at the door brought me back to my senses, and I walked forward and opened it mechanically. As soon as I opened the door, the man who had knocked took one large step backward and with a nasal voice announced, “His Royal Highness, Prince Kenton.” As soon as he spoke I recognized him as the little man who had announced the prince in town just last week. He stepped aside and directly behind him stood the prince. He had a downcast expression on his beautiful face, and I felt a wave of pity for him. I also felt confused. Will had said the slipper fit someone else. Why had the prince come here?

  I curtsied as low as I could and then opened the door wider. The prince removed his feathered hat and stepped forward into the house. I recognized Sir Thomas close behind him. I smiled at him and he nodded his acknowledgement. I assumed he would follow the prince into the house, but I was surprised to see him close the door once the prince was inside, leaving us alone in the foyer. The prince stood motionless and silent.

  “Your Highness,” I said, curtsying again. I stood up straight and looked into his face. I could see him trying to reconcile the elegantly dressed lady he had talked to last night with the girl dressed in rags smelling of hay who stood before him now.

  “Is it you?” he asked. “It’s really true, then? You are a servant here—in your own home?”

  “Yes, Your Highness,” I answered simply. I wondered if he really hadn’t believed me last night, or if seeing it in real life was as difficult to grasp as it seemed.

  “And where is your stepmother?” he asked, taking a step closer to me.

  “She died last night, Your Highness,” I answered.

  “Oh. I’m sorry. Are you sad?” he asked kindly. He must have remembered how I described her last night.

  “I am sad that we did not get along better while she was alive. I wish we had had more time to understand each other.” I was being as plain and honest as I possibly could. He didn’t need to know every detail.

  He nodded in understanding. “Ella Blakeley. Is that your name?”

  “Yes, Your Highness.” I wondered who had told him, but I didn’t feel at liberty to ask.

  “Ella,” he whispered to himself as he closed his eyes. He smiled and slowly opened his eyes and took a step closer, his demeanor becoming less formal. “Why did you leave me last night? I have been tormented.”

  The horror I felt at the memory of how I had abandoned him returned and I ducked my head in shame. He deserved an explanation.

  “I don’t know if I can explain it. It doesn’t make sense even to me.”

  “Please try,” he whispered.

  I sighed. “I was confused.” I took a step back and turned away from him. “Everything happened so fast. You … you told me you loved me. How is that possible? How can you want to marry me? You don’t know me.”

  I heard him take a step forward. He placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him. “Ella. You told me all about yourself last night. I do know you and I love everything about you. I want to take care of you. I want to give you everything—a beautiful life surrounded by the most charming things life could offer. You’ll never have to serve another person for as long as you live. It sounds like you have earned that right. You’ve suffered for so long. Forget all of that sadness and heartache. Leave all that behind and come with me.” He tenderly stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers. “I love you. Truly. From the first moment I saw you in the palace courtyard, I knew that your place was next to me on the throne.”

  For a moment, I could see it. I could see myself in my beautiful gown; my glass slippers peeking out from under my hem; my hair grown out and piled high on my head; my hands soft and clean with no dirt under my fingernails or calluses on my palms. I could almost smell the perfume and taste the delectable food. I sat next to my handsome prince and he held my hand and looked at me adoringly. It was everything any girl would want … and should want, I told myself.

  “Your stepmother is dead. Where are your stepsisters?”

  “They left after she died,” I answered.

  He nodded, a look of triumph in his face. “You don’t have to take care of them anymore. There’s nothing here for you,” he said.

  He was right. My parents were gone. Victoria was gone. Cecelia and Mabel were gone. Will’s face flashed through my mind. If I was being honest, Will was one of the main reasons I was not riding away with the prince that very moment.

  The prince must have seen something in my expression. “There is someone else, isn’t there?”

  I looked away. “Nothing’s ever happened between us. He’s a friend. A very good friend.” My voice trembled and tears threatened. “We’re the same. We help each other. We support each other …”

  “You love each other?”

  The thought had entered my mind, but I had never allowed myself to think about it long enough to believe if it was true or not. All my life I had thought that Will was kind and charitable and helpful, and that he even felt sorry for me—that those were the reasons he was always helping me. But the changes that had occurred during the past week between us had begun to open my eyes to the possibility that perhaps there could be something more between us. And just this morning, I had come to the conclusion that he truly did love me. I had been too afraid to admit that I might love him too. But hearing the words out loud made it impossible to deny.

  I nodded slowly. “Yes, Your Highness. I love him.” The truth of my words overwhelmed me.

  He took another step closer and I had to tip my head up to see his eyes. He reached out his hand and took mine and looked intensely into my eyes. “Could you love me too?”

  I smiled up at him and the sincerity on his face. How could I not love someone who loved me in spite of my dirty face, roughened hands, and short hair? He had kissed me. He was handsome and wealthy. He would take care of me. But there were two things that were bothering me. I decided to ask him about the most urgent one.

  “Your Highness, didn’t my glass slipper fit someone else?” I asked the question as gently as I could so it didn’t sound like I was scolding him. Somewhere out there was a girl whose foot had fit the slipper and the prince had said that he would marry that girl. I wondered how she felt now, knowing that it was not her he had been searching for.

  He looked chagrined. “Yes.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know your name or where you lived. Your slipper was the one thing I was sure would lead me to you. It was the tiniest, daintiest thing I had ever seen. I couldn’t imagine it fitting anyone else!” He sighed and hung his head miserably. “I’ve created quite a mess.”

  “May I ask where the girl is?” I asked.

  He pursed his lips and kept his eyes on the floor, deliberating. He slowly lifted his ey
es. “She’s outside in the carriage.”

  I tried to hide my astonishment. I felt terrible for the poor girl sitting out there. She must know that the prince was trying to figure out a way out of his predicament, out of having to marry her. “Does she know who I am?” I asked, trying to keep my voice under control.

  He nodded slowly. “She’s your best friend. Jane Emerson.”

  I swallowed hard and tried to keep my face calm, but I knew the countless conflicting emotions I felt played like an open book on my face. My first feeling of shock was quickly replaced by clarity. Jane and I had always joked about our tiny feet. Of course she would be the only other woman the slipper would fit. Next was anger. She had been the one who had told Victoria I was at the ball, and it was written plainly on her face as we passed in the courtyard that she had meant it to be vindictive, though she might not have fully grasped the possible repercussions. From what Jane was told, I was supposed to be sick at home, not next in line after her to meet the prince, and she must have resented me for that.

  I fought against my next emotion but knew it would come anyway. Compassion filled my heart and crowded out all the anger, as it always does. Jane had loved the prince from that first day in town. She was lovely and regal and just as deserving as anyone. She had made a mistake, but it didn’t define who she was. She got caught up in the excitement, and even intrigue, of the ball just like everyone else. I knew her heart and I knew she was hurting out there.

  Suddenly I knew it was she who had told the prince my name, where I lived, and that the slipper belonged to me. The moment I realized this, I knew that she truly was still my friend, and now that she was out of the clutches of my stepsisters, she could see clearly. She was desperately trying to make amends. She had seen the error of her ways and would perhaps be all the wiser for it. She had been used by the same people who had hurt me and I knew her well enough to know that she would not allow something like that to happen again. I wanted so badly to run out to her and embrace her and tell her that everything was going to be fine.

  The prince watched me as I took the time to figure all this out. He observed me closely as my face finally relaxed and smoothed, yet he appeared to be dissatisfied with the understanding that must be on my face. I think he would have preferred I stopped at anger.

  He reached up and grasped my arms. “Ella, I love you.” He paused to search for the right words. “I came searching for you. I know my plan to find you wasn’t exactly well thought out. I know I’m impulsive. It’s my worst fault. But it’s you I want.”

  The prince reached into his pocket and retrieved my glass slipper. He knelt down chivalrously and slipped it onto my bare foot. He looked up at me and smiled tenderly. He stood slowly and gazed deeply into my eyes, a pleading expression on his attractive face. He reached a hand up to stroke my short hair that I had left undone, and then he encircled me in his arms and kissed me.

  Chapter 29

  THE PALACE LOOKED SO MAJESTIC FROM MY VIEW OUT THE carriage window. The sun was beginning its descent behind the hills, casting a warm, pink glow on the ancient edifice. I admired its grandeur against the picturesque scenery of the green hills behind it.

  I had taken a step into the darkness and had made my choice and was now enveloped in light and joy and tranquility. I knew it didn’t mean that every problem I ever had, or would have, would miraculously vanish, but I felt peace, knowing that I had chosen the life I wanted to live, the life that would make me happy—indescribably happy. I had found the man I loved and I was going to be with him forever.

  I admired the luxurious fabric that lined the seats and the walls of the royal carriage with my free hand. I smiled at the prince and he smiled back, a look of contentment on his face. I felt overwhelming peace as I glanced down at the fingers entwined with mine and gave them an affectionate squeeze. Everything was finally right.

  Jane also looked down at our hands clasped in undying friendship, her eyes still wet from her tearful, heartfelt apology. I laid my head on her shoulder and she rested her head on mine. I peeked over at her other hand, gripped tightly in the prince’s and I saw that he was looking at their hands too, the same look of contentment from before.

  Once the prince kissed me, everything became clear. I was not his, and never had been. My heart belonged to someone else and I could never deny that. It was not a coincidence in my mind that the slipper had fit Jane. It fit her in every way and she would be completely at ease in her new life in the palace.

  My home would always be Ashfield. It was where I had worked and sacrificed, where I had come to realize what my true beauty was and that I didn’t need extravagant clothes or shoes to make me see it. I could see it in the calluses on my hands from churning butter, in the dirt under my fingernails from digging up food I had grown in my garden. Ashfield was also where I had found someone who could see my true beauty and loved me for who I was.

  I could finally put words to the second thing that was bothering me. The prince loved me in spite of the calluses and dirt. Will loved me because of them.

  I had explained to the prince what a beautiful person Jane truly was and that she would make the perfect princess. She was graceful and elegant and longed for that life and it suited her. I told him that I would never be happy living in a palace. He understood that part completely.

  He had graciously accepted my decision, kissed my hand, and said, “Even though it was only for one night, I’m a better man for having known you.”

  Then he had taken me out to see Jane and we renewed our friendship with tears and then laughter. The prince laughed with us and I saw his eyes turn from me to Jane. He saw her lovely face and saw who she really was and that she already was a princess. He asked me if there was anything he could do for me and I had only one request.

  The carriage came to a stop near the pond, where I had asked to be dropped off. I embraced Jane and kissed her cheek. She made me promise again to visit her at the palace. The prince took my hand and kissed it and then clasped Jane’s again. He smiled at me to let me know he was content.

  I slipped my glass slipper off my foot and placed it in my apron pocket. I poked my head out the open door of the carriage and saw the footman there to help me down. I ignored him and impulsively hopped out of the carriage. I raced as fast as my feet would carry me. I could hear the quiet laughter of Jane and Prince Kenton fading behind me.

  ***

  I RELISHED IN THE DELICIOUS CRUNCH OF THE NEWLY FALLEN leaves beneath my feet as they swirled behind me as I raced through the trees. I didn’t have far to run, but it was still too far. I hoped and prayed Will would be at the pond. It had always been the place where we could find each other. I laughed as I realized that I had loved him for so long. I couldn’t even remember not loving him. I had always sought his comfort and strength, always knew he’d be there to lift me when I was falling, to make me laugh when I wanted to cry.

  I heard the gently swaying cattails over my wildly beating heart and I slowed to a walk. I came to the clearing in the trees where we usually met in the mornings. Sometimes he would bring me firewood; sometimes I would bring him bread. I sighed and smiled at my blindness.

  I cast my eyes across the glassy water and saw him. He was sitting on the ground, leaning against his favorite tree. His eyes were fastened on me. He must have heard my chaotic dash through the forest. I glanced over at my usual spot on the moist banks and kept walking. And for the first time, I began to cross the bridge over to his side, not waiting for him to come to me as I always had.

  He saw me crossing the bridge and surprise lit his face. He stood and walked onto the bridge to meet me in the middle. We stopped a few feet from each other. His face was a carefully guarded mask, and I realized he might be wondering what I was doing there. It seemed preposterous to me that he didn’t know I loved him, but I realized I hadn’t been clear on that point until recently.

  “Have you come to say good-bye?” he asked. The mask fell away, and I saw the pain he wasn’t able to conceal
anymore.

  His eyes widened in wonder as I raised my arms and placed both my hands on the sides of his strong face. “Never,” I whispered passionately.

  He stood completely motionless for a moment. Then he closed his eyes and raised his hands to place them over mine. When he opened his eyes, the fire had returned. The tenderness in his eyes was mingled with an intensity that made me tremble. His hands traced down my arms to my shoulders, along my back and then wrapped tightly around my waist and held me close to him. I smiled at him and nodded slightly.

  “I’m yours,” I said.

  He beamed back at me, leaned down, and pressed his lips to mine. My heart pounded in my chest and I truly began to let myself feel … to live, to love, and to be loved. What I hadn’t known as I had protected myself for all those years against feeling real pain was that I had also been denying myself the opportunity to feel real happiness. I finally knew that by allowing myself to feel completely, that I would also be allowing myself to love completely, and I was ready.

  When the prince had kissed me at the ball, I couldn’t even remember my own name. When Will kissed me, it was as if I finally knew who I was.

  Slowly, Will released me and buried his face in my hair. “Ella, I thought I lost you! The prince came to marry you and take you away from me. He has everything to offer you and I have nothing. I can’t believe you’re standing here. Do you realize that you just said no to a prince?” he asked, slowly shaking his head back and forth, his lips brushing against my cheek.

  “No, I didn’t,” I said and held him tighter.

  He chuckled. “Ella, I realize you know this and it’s not that I want you to change your mind, but you could have been a princess—a queen—in a palace! The prince obviously loves you and wanted you, yet here you are. Please explain this to me.”