A Haven for Her Heart

by Susan Anne Mason

  “That’s right. Most ladies like getting flowers.”

  He went up to the door and knocked, a habit he’d started so the bell wouldn’t wake the babies.

  Ruth opened the door. “Darius. It’s good to see you again.” Somehow over the last few days, they’d moved to a first name relationship. “And who is this darling girl?”

  He smiled. “This is my daughter, Sofia. Sofia, this is Mrs. Bennington, the owner of this residence.”

  “Hello,” Sofia said. “I like your house. It’s pretty.”

  “Why, thank you.” Ruth’s eyes gleamed as she gazed down at Sofia.

  Once again, his daughter had instantly won someone’s heart. How he envied that skill.

  “We’re here to see Miss Olivia. I have a picture for her.” Sofia waved the folded page in front of her.

  “I’m sure she’ll love it. Won’t you come in?” Ruth moved aside as they entered. “I believe Olivia’s in the backyard. If you’d like to go out, you can get there through the kitchen.”

  “I know the way, thank you.” Darius took Sofia’s hand and led her down the corridor.

  They walked through the kitchen, which smelled of freshly baked bread and cinnamon. Mrs. Neale stood at the counter, her fists buried in a batch of dough. When she looked over, she gave him a subtle nod. The weight of everyone’s expectations suddenly seemed as heavy as the iron skillet on the stovetop. He only hoped he wouldn’t let them down.

  Opening the back door, he led Sofia out to the lawn, where he spotted Olivia immediately. She was seated on a bench at the far end of the yard, surrounded by greenery and blooming flowers. Even at a distance, he could sense the aura of sadness enveloping her.

  Sofia tugged her hand free and raced across the grass, waving the paper. “Miss Olivia! Miss Olivia! I brought you a picture.” She came to a halt in front of her.

  Olivia smiled as she took the offering. “Hi, Sofia. Did you draw this?”

  “Yes. To help you feel better.”

  Darius came to stand beside the bench. “Hello, Olivia. I hope you don’t mind my bringing Sofia. She was dying to come back and see you.”

  Olivia raised her gaze to his, and his chest tightened. Her beautiful brown eyes seemed hollow, and the light that usually glowed within them was missing.

  “I don’t mind. It’s good to see you both.” Her words fell flat, no emotion behind them.

  “Open your picture, Miss Olivia.” Sofia bounced from one foot to the other.

  Olivia wrestled the paper against the breeze that threatened to tear it from her grasp, then stared at the crude stick figures, her expression unreadable.

  Darius almost groaned.

  Sofia had drawn a woman, presumably Olivia, judging by the long dark hair, with a baby in her arms. At the top of the page, another figure that looked like an angel spread its wings above them.

  “That’s you and baby Abigail. Oh!” Sofia’s hand flew to her mouth. “I’m not supposed to talk about her. But I wanted you to have a picture so you could remember her.”

  Darius winced. Why hadn’t he asked to see the drawing before she showed it to Olivia?

  “It’s beautiful.” Olivia’s voice was strained. “And who is this?” She pointed to the angelic figure.

  “That’s my mommy. She’s in heaven now. Daddy says she watches over me. So I asked her to watch over you and Abigail too.”

  Darius’s throat slammed shut. His beautiful girl, with a heart the size of a western prairie, had meant well. He knelt beside her, his hand on her shoulder. “That’s a lovely thought, Mouse. I’m sure all God’s angels will watch over them.” He darted a glance at Olivia.

  Her eyes remained focused on the picture while tears streamed down her face. His spirits plummeted to the dampness of the grass seeping through his pant leg. Ruth had asked him to help Olivia feel better, not to reduce her to tears again.

  Olivia refolded the page. “Thank you, Sofia. I’ll put this up in my bedroom so I can see it every day.”

  His daughter beamed at her, then darted off across the lawn, calling over her shoulder, “You need some swings in this yard for when all the babies grow up.”

  Darius rolled his eyes and dropped to the bench beside her. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I thought bringing Sofia might cheer you up. I didn’t expect this.”

  She wiped the back of her hand across her wet face. “Please don’t apologize. This is the sweetest thing anyone’s done for me. I love it.” A genuine smile emerged, and her eyes brightened.

  “Oh, I almost forgot.” He handed her the flowers. “These are for you too.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.” She buried her face in the blooms, inhaling deeply.

  “It was the least I could do, especially after I bungled your marriage proposal.” He gave a tentative smile, hoping to discover how she felt about the whole situation. “Am I forgiven?”

  She raised her head with a sigh. “There’s nothing to forgive. I was the one in the wrong. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “Totally understandable, given the situation.” He squinted against the sun’s glare to watch Sofia, who was doing twirls on the lawn that made her dress billow out. “How would you feel about coming for a walk with Sofia and me to the park nearby?”

  She hesitated for the briefest of seconds, then nodded. “I believe a walk might do me some good.”

  31

  The fresh air and exercise certainly helped lift Olivia’s spirits, as did the precious girl who chattered the whole way to the park. Sofia’s innocent exuberance was just the distraction Olivia needed from thinking about infants and bottles and diapers. Perhaps, if she were lucky, some of the girl’s joy would rub off on her too.

  While Sofia alternated between walking beside her and darting ahead to get a better view of the park, Darius matched his pace to Olivia’s. He was so thoughtful to bring his daughter and a bouquet of flowers to cheer her up. And to laugh off her crazy marriage proposal.

  She could see in hindsight that losing Matteo had made her cling even harder to Abigail. And now that she was aware of this tendency, she could hopefully avoid it in the future. Somehow she’d have to find a way to cope with being around babies and not getting swept away by grief—or by the desire to adopt all the ones destined for the Infants’ Home.

  They turned into the park, following the winding path to an open area where a swing set and slide came into view.

  “Daddy! Can you push me on the swing?” Sofia’s childish delight rang out.

  “Coming.” Darius ran over to join her at the equipment.

  Olivia found a bench where she could watch Sofia and the other children playing, absorbing their heartwarming laughter into her battered soul. A soft breeze lifted pieces of her hair off her neck, and above her in the canopy of trees, the birds warbled their songs. All of it eased the ache in her heart just a little.

  After a while, Darius came to join her, and they sat enjoying the scene in comfortable silence, until Olivia’s guilt would no longer allow her to remain silent. She glanced over at his profile as he kept a keen eye on his daughter. Such a considerate man, one who deserved an honest conversation to clear the air.

  “I owe you an apology,” she said softly. “First, for that terrible marriage proposal. I had no right to impose on you that way. It was selfish and thoughtless.”

  “Olivia, I really—”

  “No, please let me get this out. It’s been weighing on me for days.” She shifted on the bench, tucking her skirt around her knees so the breeze wouldn’t lift it. “The bigger apology I owe you is for not telling you about my past.” She couldn’t look at him, staring instead at the children running around on the grass. “I didn’t purposely set out to deceive you. I hope you can believe me.”

  “I do,” he said in a quiet voice. “Once I set aside my pride, I realized you had every right to keep that part of your life private.”

  She plucked a piece of grass and twirled it between her fingers. “I was afraid,” she murmured
. “Afraid that once you knew, you’d reject me like almost everyone else in my life has.”

  He grimaced. “And I reacted just as you feared. I feel terrible about that.” He shook his head. “For someone who claims to be a Christian, I sometimes fall far short of the ideal.”

  Olivia bit her lip. She wanted to tell him that it was a natural reaction and that she forgave him, but the lump in her throat made speaking impossible. He wasn’t the only one who’d fallen short.

  Just then Sofia called out, “Daddy, look. I’m swinging by myself.”

  He looked over and waved. “That’s wonderful, Mouse. Keep pumping your legs.”

  “Look, Miss Olivia. I can almost touch the trees.”

  Shielding her eyes with one hand, Olivia waved too. Then she turned to Darius again. “I wanted to ask you about Meredith. Did she go out west after all?”

  “No, she didn’t.” His brows dipped down. “At least I don’t think so. She said she wanted to find a maternity home in another city, perhaps in Ottawa. I haven’t heard from her yet, though she promised to contact me once she was settled.”

  A pair of squirrels chased each other up a nearby tree trunk. Olivia enjoyed their antics for a moment, pausing to say a quick prayer for Meredith. “I hope she finds a place that suits her.”

  “So do I.” Darius looked at her fully for the first time. “Meredith’s plight made me truly appreciate the good work you and Ruth are doing at Bennington Place.”

  “That means a lot. Especially since I know in the beginning you considered it a nuisance.”

  “It shames me to think of my judgmental attitude.” He brushed at some grass on his pant leg. “I’m only thankful my boss has removed me from ‘the Bennington project,’ as he calls it, so it won’t be such a source of conflict anymore.”

  “I’m glad too.” Some of the tension in Olivia’s shoulders eased. At least she wouldn’t have to worry that she and Darius were on opposite sides of the issue. “I suppose all we can do is trust in God’s will for the home and its residents.” Olivia gave him a long look. “Losing Abigail has made me see that I need to loosen my grip on the things in my life. The more I try to hold on to them, the more they slip away.” She shrugged. “A lesson I’m unfortunately learning the hard way.”

  Darius shifted closer. The wind lifted the clean scent of his soap to her. “I’m sorry you’ve had to suffer this way again, Olivia. I can’t begin to imagine the pain you’ve been through.” He laid his hand over hers.

  The heat from his palm seeped through her, wrapping her in a cocoon of warmth. Her heart rate kicked up as she raised her eyes to his. “Then you don’t think I’m a terrible person?”

  He stared at her with such intensity that her lungs forgot to take in air.

  “What I think,” he said slowly, “is that you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Generous and kind, compassionate and forgiving. I’m honored just to know you.”

  Before she could react, he lowered his mouth to hers. Her whole world seemed to come to a halt, narrowing down to the feel of his lips on hers. They were warm and gentle, tasting of coffee and something sweet, like maple syrup. How many times had she dreamt of this moment? Longed for it? Never believing it could happen.

  When his arm came around her, drawing her closer, every nerve ending came alive , infusing her with energy. Warmth radiated through her body, and her heart thudded loudly in her chest as she kissed him back, drinking him in like a thirsty plant soaking up water. She’d forgotten how much she’d missed this connection with another person. The warmth, the security, the sense of belonging.

  Someone tugged on her sleeve. “Why are you kissing my daddy?”

  Darius jerked back.

  A rush of heat enveloped Olivia’s face as she looked down at Sofia. “I . . . I was . . . thanking him for the flowers and for being so kind to me.”

  Sofia stared at her, her brow crinkled. She pushed aside some strands of dark hair that had escaped her braid. “Do I get a kiss too for my picture?”

  At the stunned look on Darius’s face, Olivia stifled a laugh. “Of course, sweetie. I can’t believe I forgot that earlier.” She held out her arms, and the girl lunged onto her lap. Then Olivia kissed the girl’s flushed cheek. “Thank you for coming today and for your lovely picture.”

  “You’re welcome.” Sofia threw her arms around Olivia’s neck and squeezed, almost cutting off her air.

  But Olivia didn’t mind. She clasped Sofia tight against her chest, relishing the feel of her and the way she smelled of fresh air and sunshine. For the moment, her heart was full of this wonderful child and her amazing father.

  It turned out Ruth was right about one thing. Olivia could cower in her room and hide from love, or she could simply open her arms and receive it.

  Surely the risk would be worth it in the end.

  Darius practically floated all the way back to the maternity home.

  He had kissed Olivia in the middle of a public park. And she had kissed him right back. When their lips met, a thousand sensations had flooded his system. Not since Selene had he felt so alive, so filled with emotion that he could barely think, only feel.

  He glanced at Olivia as they walked, and she smiled shyly, the color rising in her cheeks. He grinned back, his chest expanding as though his heart had grown too big to be contained. They had taken an important step forward in their relationship, but what exactly did that mean for them now?

  “Daddy, who’s that?” Sofia tugged on his hand.

  He looked ahead on the sidewalk. A man moved away from the maternity home gate and started toward them. He had dark hair, cut fairly short, and was dressed in a black shirt and pants. Odd for the warmth of the summer day.

  “I don’t know, sweetheart.”

  As he got closer, Darius noticed the white clergy collar. A minister of some sort? Perhaps someone who worked with Bennington Place to help troubled women in the parish?

  Beside him, Olivia went still and gasped. “Sal? Is that you?”

  The man broke into a run, a grin blooming on his face. “Livvy!”

  She threw herself at him, and he picked her up, swinging her around. Then she buried her face in his neck.

  He set her feet on the ground but kept his arms around her, his eyes closed. Tears seeped out from under thick lashes. “Grazie a dio. I found you at last.”

  Olivia’s shoulders shook, and she clung to him awhile longer, until she finally moved away. “What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to see you and make sure you were all right. I’ve been so worried.” He pulled her close again.

  Darius kept a hand on Sofia’s shoulder and stepped back a few paces as unsettled emotions churned through him. Who was this man?

  At last, Olivia turned around, seeming to remember he and Sofia were there. Her eyes were damp, but her happy smile had brought the sparkle back to them. “This is my brother Salvatore. Sal, this is a good friend, Darius Reed, and his daughter, Sofia.”

  Her brother. The tension loosened in his neck. Of course, the family resemblance was now blatantly obvious. It struck Darius then how much this must mean to Olivia, to have one of her family members reach out to her this way. “Good to meet you, Reverend.” He stepped forward to shake the man’s hand.

  “Please, just call me Sal.” He bent down. “Hello, Sofia. That’s a beautiful name.”

  “Hello.” Her brown eyes settled on his collar. “Are you a priest?”

  “Yes, I am. You’re very observant.”

  “I’m smart. My pappoú tells me that.”

  Sal and Olivia laughed out loud, the sound so refreshing to Darius’s ears. Thank you, Lord, for bringing some extra happiness to Olivia today.

  “Can you come in for coffee?” Olivia asked her brother.

  “Sure. I have some time to spare. And I want to hear all about you. The good and the bad.”

  She linked her arm through her brother’s. “There’s been a lot of bad. So let’s start with the good.” They headed
up the sidewalk.

  When they reached the gate, Darius held Sofia back. “I think we’ll head home and let you two catch up.”

  Sal turned to shake his hand again. “It was good to meet you, Darius. If you’re ever at St. Michael’s for Mass, make sure to find me.”

  Darius nodded. “I will.” He looked over at Olivia, reluctant to leave her but happy she was reconnecting with her brother. “Thanks for coming to the park with us.”

  “Thank you for the visit.” Olivia smiled, hesitating a little as though not sure whether to hug him or shake his hand. Instead, she turned her attention to Sofia. “And thank you again for my beautiful picture.”

  “Did it make you happy?” Sofia asked.

  “Very much.” She bent and hugged his daughter. “I hope to see you again soon.”

  “Me too. Bye-bye.” Sofia waved, then hopped down the sidewalk.

  So many words hovered on Darius’s lips, but with Sal looking on, he didn’t have the nerve to say them. Instead, he gave her a long look, then turned and followed his daughter to the car.

  One day soon, he hoped he’d have the chance to tell Olivia all the things on his heart.

  32

  Seated on the sofa in the parlor, Olivia watched Sal quietly sip his coffee, while her own cup remained untouched on the table before her. Her nerves were far too jumpy to tolerate an infusion of caffeine. She could hardly believe her brother was here in Ruth’s house, sitting beside her. Stretching her fingers out, she laid her hand on his sleeve as though to convince herself he was real. With sisterly pride, she took in his neatly trimmed dark hair, crisp black shirt, and starched clergy collar. Her brother was no longer a boy but a grown man. How long had it been since she was in the same room with him? Since they’d shared even a cup of coffee together?

  He smiled. “You look good, Liv. Are you keeping well?” His brown eyes searched hers.

  “I’m doing fine.” Mostly. “How about you? How is life as a priest?”

  “Challenging.” He laughed, revealing his even white teeth.

  So handsome, her brother. All the girls in the neighborhood had been devastated when he’d left for the seminary. Yet Sal had known from the time he became an altar boy at the age of ten that he was destined for the priesthood.