Fragile

by Skyler Snow

  Jack wasn’t just someone to flirt with. He meant so much more than that. I actually cared for him.

  “What was that?” Jack asked. I turned to stare at him, suddenly feeling raw and exposed.

  He was done eating his food and he stared at me with those dark brown eyes expectantly.

  Jack looked genuinely stunned, but I didn’t want to repeat myself. It was ugly, right? God, it was an ugly reason to be feeling the way that I did. Wanting to be as important to him as his own son or his lifelong best friend when I had known him for all of a few weeks. That was the type of thinking that made people run away.

  Watch the clingy Tom.

  But hadn’t he trusted me? Jack had come to me with his problems and stuck around for my company. He’d seen me cry and I had given him advice on how to solve his problems. Jack had come clean to me before anyone else, telling me every aspect of his loneliness, what he craved, what he needed.

  Shouldn’t I repay that trust in some small way? Or maybe you’re hoping he admits you matter. But why was that so bad? Didn’t he get to be selfish too?

  “I’m jealous,” I finally spat out. “That’s what’s been bothering me this entire time.” Seeing the expression on Jack’s face only made it worse and I turned away from him, feeling my face burn up. It was stupid, but it was the truth. He deserved to know. “I’m jealous of Elliot and Scott. How much you like‘em. And I-I wanted the reason or at least part of the reason, that you decided to live here. I want to hear you say it’s because of me too. And I know it’s dumb, I really do, it’s just how I—”

  His arms were wrapped around me. I clung to him like I might drown if I didn’t hold onto something. Suddenly I was completely wrapped up in the smell of his cologne and the heat of his skin. I didn’t want to admit it, but damn it felt so good to know someone gave a fuck about me.

  “It’s so fuckin’ stupid. I know it’s stupid, I just want to be special to you.” My voice was choked as I held onto him. God, what was this? Pouring out my emotions like a fucking teenager? I’d never done that before, but I couldn’t stop. Still, I didn’t want him to feel suffocated by my emotions. “It’s not fair to you. I know that and I’m sorry—”

  “Tom, Tom. It’s okay. I promise it’s okay. I know.” He muttered into my ear, holding me like I was a little delicate thing that might shatter if he spoke too loudly. I’d never let myself feel so fragile before. “I know. It’s okay with me.”

  “It’s not—”

  “It is.” He sighed, his hands sliding down my shoulders before he gripped mine. It was a familiar gesture, one we’d repeated many times before. It was comforting. It was safe. It was sweet. And it was just so Jack.

  “I wasn’t sure that I had the right to feel any of this,” he said softly. “I would be a liar if I didn’t say that I’ve been thinking about the same thing lately. And I would be a liar, if I said you weren’t part of the reason, that it wasn’t just about Elliot and Scott, but you too.”

  “What?” I blinked up at him. I knew I heard him right, but it just didn’t make sense to me. My face was burning. Jack’s face was inches from mine and his expression was so intense it nearly set me alight. Did he really feel the same as me? Was it possible that someone like Jack had feelings for me?

  “I know what you’re feeling and I...feel it too. You’re special to me, Tom. Elliot thought that you would be good for me but I bet he didn’t know just how much. Because you are. You take care of me, you listen and you’re good to me. Good for me. You make me wanna do things I haven’t thought about doing in a long time...” He trailed off, like even he couldn’t believe he was admitting it. His voice was losing the strength that he had started this little speech with. “You’re good for me, more than Elliot realized. More than I could have ever expected, I want to be here with you.”

  I blinked at him, completely lost for words. For once, I was speechless.

  I stared at my phone as I rocked back and forth in my office chair. Around me I could hear Connie talking to Isaac and Elliot humming under his breath. I, however, was completely checked out.

  Jack said he was staying for me too.

  I didn’t think I had any bearing on his life and now I knew that he’d come back to be around me, too. What was I supposed to do with that information? What did it mean?

  It means he’s my good friend and I shouldn’t fuck this up by reading into it.

  The rational side of my brain was trying to counter the side with abandonment issues. It wasn’t working out great. I stared at Jack’s name, my fingers poised to assault him with a million questions. For a moment, I hesitated, but the impulsivity couldn’t be controlled.

  I typed out the text, the longer it became the more crazy I felt, but I had to know the truth. What did Jack want from me? Was it crazy that I wanted to be with him as more than just friends? I poured out every word in my brain until I stared down at the long message. Groaning, I hovered my finger above the send button.

  What if he thinks I’m clingy and crazy for this? I could end up sending him running for the hills. No, no I’m gonna do it.

  My finger was about to hit the send button when a new text popped up. I stared at it, my eyes going wide.

  Let’s go on a date after work today.

  “Ah!” I’d leaned back a little too far and tumbled out of the chair backwards. I groaned, rubbing my head as everyone stared at me. “No, no I’m fine. Don’t help me.”

  “I keep telling you not to rock in that chair,” Connie wagged her finger at me. “You only have yourself to blame. Are you okay?”

  I nodded. “I’m pretty great,” I smiled. “Perfect.”

  I pulled myself up and plopped down in the chair again. Once everyone was back to work I stared at the text again. He was asking me out on a date? Me? I licked my lips, not sure what to say back except for “sure.” My hand shook a little as I sat the phone down and tried to force myself to concentrate on work.

  A huge smile spread across my face. I was going on a date with Jack.

  20

  Jack

  Damn, I was nervous as hell. I hadn’t gone on a date in ages and now I was about to take Tom out. I scrolled through my computer trying to find something for us to do. Cafe’s had become our go to, but that didn’t feel special enough for a first date. We could do something casual, but maybe he’d think I wasn’t taking him seriously if I did that. Maybe I should take him to a fancy dinner, dancing, something out of his element.

  The knock on my door made me jolt. I barely saved my computer from crashing to the floor and quickly ran my fingers through my hair. It was Tom, it had to be. I stopped to check out my appearance in the mirror. I’d gone for a button up blue shirt, jeans and comfortable sneakers. I still hadn’t decided what we were doing and I wanted to be comfortable.

  “You were supposed to let me pick you up,” I said as I finally opened the door.

  Tom waved a hand. “Please, you still don’t have a car yet.” I closed the door and he stood in front of me, hands propped on his hips. “But you can drive me in my car if you want.”

  I grinned. Slowly my eyes looked him up and down. Tom wasn’t in his usual sweats, shorts or tanks. He’d actually pulled on a t-shirt with a deep v that showed off a bit of his chest, dark jeans with no holes in them for once and comfortable sneakers. He looked amazing.

  “Whatever you want.” My grin widened. “I found this great restaurant, I thought I’d take you there. Afterward we could catch a movie at the drive in.”

  “Y-yeah,” he toyed with his hair. “That sounds like fun.”

  “Are you nervous?”

  Tom scoffed, immediately feigning cross when I knew he wasn’t. “No! It’s just a date. I’ve been on lots of dates.”

  “Oh?” I raised a brow. “When? How many?” I stepped closer to him as he floundered. “Cuz you know I’m starting to get the feeling that you talk a big game, but you’re very selective with who you date and sleep with. Aren’t you?”

  It would
make sense. After growing up the way Tom had with his mother, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he didn’t have much to do with anyone. Sure, he was a huge, dirty flirt, but that didn’t translate into him actually doing anything. Every time I was around he was forward, but there was a shy, sweet side to Tom that was just as appealing.

  “You don’t know anything,” Tom sniffed, a small smile on his face and his cheeks pinked. “So should we get going already?”

  I took the keys from him, laughing as I locked up my condo. Tom grumbled, but it was so cute I couldn’t help but to tease him more and more. We climbed into his car and finally pulled up to the restaurant I’d found online. We headed inside and were seated at a table toward the back, which was fine with me. It was nice and quiet.

  “I can’t believe you really asked me out,” Tom muttered, glancing around the room before his eyes met mine. “Why?”

  “Why?” I didn’t understand the question. “Why not? We’ve been hanging out for a while now and we both know whatever this is,” I gestured between the two of us “It’s way more than friendly. I mean, you said yes to going out with me tonight.”

  Tom glanced away again. “Maybe I wanted to mess with you.”

  “No,” I grinned, shaking my head. “That’s not it at all. I know when you’re messing with me and when you’re not.”

  He squirmed. “I don’t know how much I like this whole you knowing me thing. Let’s order something to eat.”

  The waiter came by and we ordered quickly. We both decided on seafood pasta for dinner and a glass of wine. It would help loosen things up hopefully. We talked lightly about work and life until the food and wine arrived. It fell silent again and I tilted my head.

  “You’re so quiet. I’m not used to this.”

  Tom looked up at me and smiled a little. “I’m kind of ridiculously happy right now and my brain is having a really hard time processing it all.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I’m glad you asked me out. The more we get to know each other, the more I want to do things like this.”

  I popped a piece of shrimp into my mouth and raised a brow. “So do I. Did you think this was all just something normal and friendly?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. It’s kinda why I was so upset before. Well, part of it. I guess because I wanted to be more than friends.”

  “You’ve seen how much I hang out with you. Tom, did you really think it was just to talk about my problems? Hell no.” I reached out and laid a hand on top of his. “I wanted to spend time with you.”

  Tom’s cheeks darkened. “Why do you have to do this to me? Is this payback for me getting you so many times?”

  “Oh for sure.” We both laughed before I shook my head and squeezed his hand in mine. “No, but that’s not it at all. I mean every word I say to you. I adore you, Tom. There’s no one I’ve met that’s like you. You know that years ago I gave up on all of this, but with you? I-I don’t mind…no fuck that, I want to give it another shot.”

  Tom’s eyes widened. “Are you saying that you wouldn’t mind breaking your celibacy rules?”

  I snorted. “Is that all you took from that? The fact that I might give you some dick?”

  “Hey,” he pointed a finger at me. “I might give you some dick, so no that’s not what I was saying.” He grinned. “But it was damn close.”

  “Dear God,” I muttered.

  Tom gave me a mischievous grin and started eating in earnest. The tension had been broken and I was reminded once more of how much I loved being around him.

  “Here you go.” I climbed into the car and handed Tom a bag of popcorn and a soda that I’d picked up from the concession stand. The movie was barely starting as I closed the door.

  “Ooh, yes,” He popped a piece into his mouth, humming happily. “Thank you, Jack. This night has been amazing.”

  I looked over at him and smiled. Tom looked so relaxed in the passenger seat. He’d leaned his chair back a bit, his feet on the dashboard as he stared up at the screen. Suddenly, the urge to kiss him hit me. It wasn’t the first time I’d thought about it by a long shot, but it was even stronger now.

  Tom looked over at me. “What? You’re staring at me like you’re ready to eat,” he grinned. “What are you ready to eat?”

  I threw a piece of popcorn at his face. “Do you have to be crude all the time?”

  “You don’t like it?” He leaned toward me, his finger dragging down the front of his shirt. “I thought you’d like it nasty after so long.”

  I didn’t know whether to laugh or shake my head at Tom. My hand shot out, caressing his soft skin. His eyes went wide in response and for a minute Tom could do nothing but sit there and stare at me, blinking.

  “W-what are you doing?” He whispered.

  “Touching you.” I smiled at him. “Is that a problem?”

  Tom shook his head, but he was lost for words. I pushed my seat back, watching the movie and taking my hand off of his chest. To be fair, I was incredibly hard. I wanted to touch every inch of Tom’s body and finally claim him as my own. From the way he looked at me, his eyes filled with lust, I would say he wanted the exact same thing.

  21

  Tom

  I felt like I was losing it the whole way back to Jack’s place. He’d laid his hand on my thigh while he drove and I chewed my bottom lip. Just go up a little. Move up! I really wanted him to touch me all over, to feel those big, strong hands roaming my body but he seemed calm and collected.

  We pulled up to his place and I trailed behind him wondering what was going on in his head. Jack had been so quiet after the movie. Did he not enjoy our date? I fidgeted with my fingers following him until he unlocked his condo door and let us inside.

  “I hope you had a good time,” I said quietly. “I haven’t been on a date in a while and—”

  Jack’s lips crashed against mine. Finally. I held onto him as my back hit the wall and his kiss deepened. He nipped my bottom lip, tugging it out and sucking on it before he let it go once more and kissed me hungrily again.

  “What are you doing?” I whispered as we came up for air. “You haven’t had sex in so long. I thought you were celibate.”

  “I was.” He kissed him slowly now, his lips lingering on mine as my breath caught in my chest. “And I put heavy emphasis on the word was. I want you, Tom. I have for a while now.”

  Why couldn’t I speak? My words stuck in my throat, my chest rising and falling faster as I tried to calm myself down. All I wanted to do was jump on Jack and fuck him silly, but then I remembered it really had been a long time for him.

  “Are you sure?” I asked quietly. “I’m your first guy, right?”

  Jack nodded. “Yeah, not gonna lie I’m a little nervous about that part.”

  I took his hand in mine, squeezing it before I pulled him along behind me. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you and show you everything you need to know.”

  He followed along behind me until we reached his bedroom. Flipping on the lights, I looked around and realized how clean he really was. There wasn’t a thing out of place, everything tastefully put away unlike my place which was junky on good days and a wreck on bad ones. I led him over to his bed before I spun around and gazed up at him.

  “Okay, how do you want to do this?” I asked.

  “No idea.” Jack laughed. “Is this too early? This was our first date and we’re already having sex? Maybe…” He trailed off, glancing at the bed as if it would bite him.

  “We don’t have to have sex,” I said as I reached up, grabbing his chin so he would look at me instead. “If you want we can just...cuddle.”

  God, was I really saying those words out loud? I was always known as the out there, lewd one, but this was so sweet. And I wouldn’t mind it either. If all Jack wanted to do right now was hold me, I was okay with that too.

  “But I really do want to do something,” Jack mumbled as he stepped closer to me, invading my space and making me melt.

  “I have an idea.” I started peeling
off my clothes one by one. Jack watched me carefully before he followed suit. The minute his clothes came off I was in awe. His body was muscled and he still had a slight tan. There was hair on his chest, a bit of fluff that would be perfect for running my fingers over. My eyes went from his chest to his toned thighs and the already erect cock in his boxers. As I watched, Jack hooked his fingers into the hem of his shorts and drug them down until they fell onto the floor around his ankles.

  “Holy shit,” my eyes widened as I looked from his dick to his face. “You’re packing!”

  Jack burst out laughing. “Why is that so surprising?”

  “How could you be carrying that thing around for years and now giving other people the honor of experiencing it?” I blinked at him. “Not that I’m complaining. I’m kinda glad no one’s been able to touch you in so long but me.”

  “Are you possessive, Tom?” Jack asked, his eyes sparkling with amusement as I reached out to touch and stroke his cock. He bit his lip, leaning closer to me.

  “Maybe a little,” I admitted, smiling softly at him. “Are you?”

  “A thousand percent,” he said it in a growl. “Especially when it comes to you.”

  Fucking swoon. Did he have any idea what he was doing to me? I released his cock long enough to wiggle out of my underwear and tossed them aside. I climbed onto the bed before I patted the space beside me.

  “Do you have any lube?”

  Jack sat down slowly before he pointed to his nightstand. “Yeah, right there. What exactly are we going to do?”

  “Something you’ll like hopefully.” I reached over and opened the drawer plucking out the bottle of lube I found along the side. I quickly poured some into my hand. “Lay on your back.”