Her Greatest Mistake

by Eve L Mitchell

  With little enthusiasm, I got ready for meeting Calvin. It was the first time I had put on clothes that weren’t work clothes in weeks. I got up, I went to work, I picked up food and I came home. On weekends, I stayed in my apartment and moped. I was officially a moper. I had been sad when Tim left, but I had been more upset at the fact I hadn’t been as sad about Tim leaving as I was dismayed that I hadn’t noticed he was having an affair. I had cried, I wasn’t heartless after all. It was depressing to say goodbye to something you had for five years, even more disheartening to find out that you hadn’t even noticed you didn’t have it anymore.

  But the cold shoulder from Aiden was breaking me. Literally breaking me. Richard thought I was being brave and had called things off willingly in an attempt to protect my heart. That ship had sailed. Once again, Aiden had taken my heart and ripped it to pieces. I couldn’t go on like this. I needed a kick up the ass, that’s what I needed. Sighing, I pulled on jeans and a chunky knit sweater. It was early March, and the chill was still very much in the air.

  Catching the bus downtown, I wondered what on earth Calvin could want to see me for. It had been weeks since he had appeared at my door and Aiden served him a harsh dose of reality. He had texted once asking if I had played him, and I hadn’t replied. What a bitch.

  I was slightly early, and I made my way to the coffee shop leisurely. I wasn’t in a hurry for this meeting, and I really didn’t know what possessed me to agree to come here. When I got there, Calvin was already waiting.

  His smile was warm and welcoming, and I didn’t really deserve it, but I smiled back. “Hi,” he said. “Will we go in?”

  “Hey, yeah, sure.” We found a table, and I pulled my scarf and gloves off. “Latte?” I asked him.

  “Yes, please.”

  I went to the counter and ordered two lattes, one with caramel. I added two biscotti to the order. I hadn’t eaten anything despite it being mid-afternoon, and almond biscotti were a favourite. When I had the drinks, I made my way back to Calvin, who watched me, his expression giving nothing away.

  “There you go.”

  “Thanks.” Calvin immediately took a drink and avoided looking at me.

  I opened my biscotti and bit into it. I knew you were supposed to dip it in your coffee to soften the biscuit, but the truth was, I liked the hard biscotti better. Several minutes passed as I ate my biscotti, and Calvin said nothing.

  “Do you plan on speaking?” I asked eventually.

  “I do.” Calvin gave me an apologetic look. “I think I’m nervous.”

  “Well, that’s silly,” I told him. “Start off easy. How are you?”

  “I’m good, thank you.” He smiled. “You?”

  “Never been better.” I took a drink of my coffee.

  “You look tired.”

  Wow, thanks, Calvin. “Stayed up too late reading.”

  “You know the book won’t change by morning. You could have gone to sleep at a better time and finished the book this morning,” he said. And that right there is why we wouldn’t have worked.

  “Work busy?” I decided to change the subject.

  “Yes, April is coming.”

  Fantastically boring stater of the obvious. I nodded.

  “You?”

  “Families keep breaking.” I shrugged.

  “That’s sad.”

  Yes, it was, but life was sad. Shit happens every day. “Not everybody fits.” Wow, wasn’t I a bitter twisted slice of fun?

  “That was something I wanted to talk to you about.” Calvin leaned forward.

  Oh, here it comes. “Yes?”

  “I’m seeing a woman. Well, kind of.” Calvin laughed nervously. “We haven’t gone out on a date as such.” He gulped more coffee. “I’m actually taking her out tonight.”

  “That’s nice.” Was it?

  “I don’t want to miss signs. I think she is interested in me, but I don’t want to mess up.” Calvin rubbed his hands on his jeans. “I was hoping you could tell me what I did wrong with you?”

  “What?” I knew my face wasn’t hiding my surprise.

  “Well, I thought our date went well, but you ended up with your work companion, and I wanted to know what I did.”

  He’s serious, I realised. He thought our date was successful.

  “I mean, I’m not stupid, I realise he was better looking,” Calvin admitted reluctantly. “Any man with a brain can see why you would pick him based on his looks.”

  “It was more than his looks,” I said quietly.

  “Well, I’m sure he has many qualities you’re looking for.”

  Yes, he has everything I want, I wailed internally. “He’s not perfect,” I said instead.

  “Can you help me?”

  “I don’t know if I can,” I answered truthfully. “Apart from ordering me your ex-wife’s meal and believing your job to be better than a labour worker’s, you were fine.” Too much edge there, Jemma.

  “So I shouldn’t talk about my work so much.” Calvin nodded. “Noted.”

  He genuinely looked like he was sorry he didn’t have a notebook and pen, but seriously that was all he got from that? “Let her order her own food,” I snapped.

  “Yes, I learnt my mistake.” Calvin gave a rueful chuckle.

  “And maybe don’t take her to the place you used to regularly go with your wife.”

  “Oh, no, we’re going to a bistro not far from here actually. Bon Appetit Bistro, have you been?”

  “Yes.” This is karma, isn’t it? “Have the pot roast, it’s delicious.”

  “I was so fortunate to get a table, last minute cancellation.” Calvin was ignorant to my sullen mood.

  “Don’t tell me, a booth, one of the best tables?”

  “Yes! How did you know?” Calvin looked so excited.

  “Call it a hunch.” I faked a smile.

  He asked me a few more questions, and I reassured him he was fine and reminded him to just be himself and try to relax. He left soon after to get ready for his date with Jane. I wished him luck, and he told me to pass his regards on to my gentleman friend. I’d nodded, saying nothing.

  I sat in the coffee shop and watched the people walking by. The server asked me if I wanted another latte, and I accepted. I sat longer than I should have, just people watching. Reluctantly, I left the coffeeshop and got the bus home. Getting off at the stop before mine, I walked slowly home. I had to stop being so miserable. I admitted to myself I had messed up with Aiden, but maybe it was for the best? It was never going to last anyway, really. He was in a business arrangement that he couldn’t get out of. A business arrangement, Jemma? Seriously? I huffed out a laugh at myself. Now I was refusing to acknowledge it as a marriage.

  But he refused to acknowledge it as a marriage, so was I just following his lead, or did I also think he wasn’t in an actual marriage?

  “How are you still having this conversation with yourself?” I muttered angrily at myself as I climbed the stairs to my apartment. As I arrived at my floor, I looked down as I started to take my jacket off and walked into a wall that wasn’t there earlier this afternoon when I left.

  “Ow!” I yelped as I bounced off it.

  “Oh shit, sorry, you okay?” A hand steadied me, and I looked up into a worried face. “Miss?”

  “Huh? Oh yeah, no, I’m fine.” I shook my head as I peered around him to the open apartment door. I saw there was another equally big wall/man inside the apartment, holding up one end of a sofa. “I didn’t mean to make you drop your sofa.”

  “My fault, I wasn’t looking as I backed out of the door,” Wall said to me. “You live here?”

  “Yeah.” I pointed behind him. “That one.”

  “Excellent.” His smile was broad, and he looked me over appreciatively.

  “I’m sure she’s smoking, man, but can you pick up the fucking sofa?” A sharp voice came from the other man/wall inside.

  I flushed to the roots of my hair. “I’ll just…” I made a motion with my hand and quickly step
ped around the man mountain and hurried to my apartment. I glanced once over my shoulder to find he was watching me, and with a smile, I went inside.

  “Okay, so see, there are other men out there. You don’t need Aiden or any of his complications. Look at Calvin—he’s moved on quite happily and is eating your pot roast as we speak.” I hung up my jacket and kicked off my boots as I unzipped my jeans. I missed my loungewear, and I padded to my room to collect them. They were as I left them, crumpled in a heap at the foot of my bed. I bent to pick them up, and my eye was caught on yesterday’s work clothes. I straightened and looked over my room.

  I walked into my adjacent bathroom and then into the spare room. A quick look into the main bathroom and then back in the main living space confirmed it: I was a slob. Two weeks, and my house looked like I had been robbed.

  “You’re ridiculous, Jemma Leighton, how can you let him affect you like this? So he hasn’t returned your calls, he isn’t worth it then.” I started picking up discarded clothing and dumping it in a pile. “Honestly, women everywhere are judging you for being a lazy, pitiful, pathetic waste of space.” I threw more clothes onto the pile from my bedroom, bathroom and main bathroom where I had dropped them before sinking into a bath. “So you messed up, big deal. He’s messed up plenty. Actually all Aiden Ashford has done is mess up. He lied. He entered into a relationship with you, and don’t try and cheapen this by saying it was a casual hook up. You’ve never had a casual hook up in your life. You thought it meant more. He knew that. It didn’t. Then he comes waltzing back into your life weeks later like he hasn’t been away. And you fell for it again!” I threw a pair of sneakers across my room as I tore sheets off the bed, my fury mounting. “You let him in your life, your bed, your heart. You rolled over and let him walk all over you. Jesus, no wonder he isn’t calling. You’re weak.” I gathered up all the washing and marched into my kitchen, dumping it all on the floor. “You let him make you weak. He is not worth it.”

  I stood back and looked at my apartment. It looked ransacked more than robbed now. I started to laugh. I found my earbuds and found a housework playlist on Spotify, and that’s how I spent Saturday. Putting my house and myself back in order.

  At work on Monday, I greeted Nadine with a smile and a donut. She looked at me warily as she sat down at her desk. “You okay?”

  “I’m good, thank you.” I smiled. “I had a very therapeutic weekend. I spring cleaned my apartment and rearranged some furniture. Needed a change.”

  “Is Aiden back?”

  I kept the smile in place. “Not that I know of.”

  “Did you break up?” She took a bite of her donut as she watched me with interest.

  “We were never really together,” I answered honestly. “Look, we work together, Nadine. Up until a few weeks ago, I would have said we were friends. You made an error in judgment, can’t say I’m a saint either.” I took a drink of my coffee. “I don’t think it was personal?” She shook her head vehemently. “I was upset that you lied to me about what happened, but it’s in the past, and nothing good comes of living in the past. So let’s forget all of that and just get back to being us?”

  “I’d really like that, Jemma. I’m so sorry.”

  “I know.” I took a deep breath. “On Saturday, I had coffee with Calvin to coach him for his date that night and then walked into a man mountain, who I think just moved onto my floor. Then I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom for the rest of the weekend.” I grinned at Nadine’s wide eyes. “That was my Saturday and Sunday, tell me yours.”

  “No!” She laughed. “I want to hear more about part one and part two of that story!”

  And just like that, we were back to normal. Yes, it was shitty what Nadine had done, but I had admired her for owning her sexuality, how could I then judge her for it? Okay, I knew there were lines and they were crossed, and that sucked, but I was not losing one of my friends over Aiden.

  Monday passed smoothly and quickly, even with Ben coming down to give me the weekly report. I listened to it without needing to ask if he was here. Ben caught on to the fact Nadine and I were in a better place, and much to my surprise, he came down at his break and sat and talked to both of us. I was packing up for the day when Richard walked over to me and sat on the edge of my desk.

  “What changed?”

  “What?” I looked at him curiously.

  “You seem better,” he replied simply. “He’s either back from San Diego or you took your head out of the sand?”

  “I took my head out of my ass.” I nudged Richard playfully.

  “Good, I was seriously considering giving you to Karen.”

  “Oh my gosh, that is extreme.” I laughed. “You haven’t told Karen about…this?”

  “No,” Richard said quietly. “She would have torn him a new one.”

  “Not me?” I smiled sadly.

  “Never you.” He patted my shoulder. “This was so out of character for you.” He stood.

  “I can’t fall for the wrong guy?” I asked him curiously.

  “You’re too sensible, Jemma. I knew you would come around.” Richard stretched. “You want dropped off at home?”

  “I live in the complete other direction from you, Richard,” I said with surprise. “I’m okay on the bus.”

  “Okay, well, have a good night.” He walked back into his office, and I stared at my desk for a moment.

  Absolutely no one expected me to fall for Aiden? Or was it the fact Aiden had looked at me that was the surprise? I was slender, with no figure really to speak of, my hair was the bane of my existence, my oval face wasn’t striking, I didn’t even have a pretty colour of eyes: simple hazel. I wasn’t unattractive, but I had been punching above my weight with Aiden. He looked like a cover model—I mean, that was how we met, because I thought he was the cover model. I huffed out a small laugh. It wasn’t exactly comforting to know your friends had just been waiting for you to accept reality.

  I put my ear pods in as I headed to the bus stop. A light drizzle had started to fall, and I reached into my tote bag for my umbrella.

  A hand clasped my arm, and thinking I was about to get mugged, I swung my bag with all my might into the midriff of my attacker. Only it wasn’t an attacker, it was the Wall from the apartment building.

  “Holy shit fuck.” He coughed out as he winced again and rubbed his stomach.

  “Oh my goodness.” I stared at him in shock as I took out my ear pods. “Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I thought you were going to mug me.”

  “Why would I mug you?” he asked me as he stood straighter.

  “Why would you grab my arm?” I replied with exasperation.

  “Grab you?” He was looking at me with confusion. “I tapped your arm. I spoke to you, but you didn’t hear me, so I tapped you on the elbow.”

  Well, this was just embarrassing. “What did you want?” Charming, Jemma, really charming.

  “I wanted to know if you were heading home.”

  “Why?” I took a step back suspiciously.

  “Because I wanted to know if I was standing at the right bus stop.” He rubbed his stomach again. “What do you have in that purse? Bricks?”

  “My Kindle.”

  “I thought they were lighter than books,” he muttered.

  “Um, this is the right bus stop,” I told him. “To go to the apartment building.”

  “Okay, thanks.” He looked at me, and I returned his stare.

  He really was huge. Not just in height but width too. He was wearing a black padded jacket, and it just made him look bigger. His hair was a dirty blond and fell across his forehead messily and curled slightly over his ears. He had more than a five o’clock shadow on his sharp chiselled jawline. His nose was slightly crooked, and I surmised it was because it had been broken before.

  He ran a hand the size of a shovel through his hair as the light rain fell around us. I hadn’t gotten to my umbrella when I hit him with my tote, so both of us were getting rained on. The bus stop was f
ull, so there was also no shelter.

  “Here.” He opened his jacket and held a portion of it over my head. Easy to do really when you’re the size of a giant, and I didn’t even reach his pecs. I just knew he had pecs; he looked like he was a linebacker for a football team.

  “You’re just going to get more wet,” I protested.

  “Water doesn’t melt me.” He grinned. “But women get weird about their hair being wet.” He shrugged.

  “I have an umbrella.”

  “Why aren’t you using it?” Any harshness was lost in his smile.

  “Because a walking wall tried to mug me,” I told him with a grin as I pulled out my umbrella. Just as I opened it, the bus arrived. We got on, and he looked at me expectantly as I took a seat. I shifted over slightly, and he sat beside me. We rode in silence for a while before I decided to break it. “So you’re my new neighbour?” I asked wryly.

  “Kind of.”

  “Why kind of?”

  “My buddy is letting me crash with him until I find something myself.” He shifted slightly, and I realised I may as well resign myself to being plastered to the side of the bus.

  “But your friend is new in the building too?”

  “Yeah, took forever for his furniture to be delivered, but it was.” He grinned at me.

  “On Saturday,” I realised.

  “Yeah, we’ve been on blow up beds for three weeks. Not fun for someone my size.” He laughed as he seemed to think about it. “Tyler isn’t much smaller than me, y’know.”

  I really didn’t know, but I nodded anyway. “Well, you have beds now?”

  “Yeah, everything came on Saturday. Dick made me build everything with him over the weekend.”

  “So Tyler is my neighbour?” I said.

  “Yeah. Kind of.” He looked around. “You won’t see much of him.”

  “Why?” I asked curiously.

  “We work.” He shrugged, and I was once again pressed against the side of the bus.

  “We all work,” I replied with amusement.