The Peabrain's Idea (The Peabrain Adventures Book 1)

by Martha Carr

  Diana’s red hair was pinned on top of her head and the light from the alley was casting a halo around her as she marched, determined and still talking. Maggie could tell she was angry.

  “I’m not shielding you from anything. I know better than that. I wasn’t calling you a wuss. Geez, come on back here. There’s nothing to see.” Maggie strode behind her, jogging a little in her high heels to catch up with her big sister. “You know I wouldn’t keep you from something gross. You’re my sister!”

  Diana walked into the garage and spun around, looking in every direction, her eyes wide. She looked surprised as she turned and looked at Maggie standing back in the doorway. Her gaze narrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. Maggie knew that look and took a deep breath. “That’s your crap detector. There’s no crap here and no body. He got away, that’s it and I honestly don’t know who he is or what he wanted.” A few good clues, sure. But I’m not telling you that I’m living on borrowed time and don’t know how to fix it, yet. I love you too much for that bombshell. “I’m going to figure this out, I promise.” She made the Girl Scout salute and smiled. I will figure this out.

  Diana uncrossed her arms but stood there with her hip out, thinking it over. “Don’t keep me in the dark about it, okay?” She walked past Maggie out into the yard but turned around, her face brightening. “How was the date? A good one, I take it by the action on the front porch. Way to represent.” She gave her little sister a playful punch in the arm and danced backward as Maggie swatted at her.

  “It was nice, better than nice. I think I finally found a decent guy. Time will tell. Hey, you didn’t eat all the Tiny Pies, did you? Love that place. Come on inside, I’ll tell you all about it.” She put her arm around her sister’s shoulder and nudged them toward the house. “I only fell on my face once, but his chest caught me.”

  Diana let out a guffaw and looked at her sister, her eyes wide with delight. “No, really? Good thing his manliness was there to catch you. How’d he take it?”

  “Just like you’d hope.”

  “Details,” said Diana, holding open the door.

  “Of course.”

  “Even the naughty parts.”

  “Of course, those are the best parts.”

  The morning sky was the standard blue for Austin weather and the locals idea of winter with the temperature dropping into the forties.

  Maggie stood in her kitchen drinking her second cup of coffee. A mouse ran across the floor and stopped in front of her as if it wanted to say something. She paused, the mug halfway to her mouth and waited to see what would happen next. “I’m just gonna put down the coffee slowly and stand here.” Her hands were already on her hips.

  “You know, just a few days ago I would have gone to get a broom by now.” She was looking directly at the mouse as it twitched its whiskers. “But today, I have to wonder if you could be a messenger, or a relative, or some key to saving the world.” She picked the coffee back up and took a long sip, smiling at her own joke.

  “Ah, coffee. Nectar of the gods. You want some?”

  The mouse opened its tiny mouth as bubbles blew out and it rapidly changed into a short gnome she instantly recognized.

  “Bernie! What the hell?” Maggie sloshed the coffee, jumping back before any of it could stain the front of her shirt. There wasn’t enough time before work to change.

  She had overslept, waking up with a dull headache. Her teeth had felt like they were growing fuzz on them and she had stood in the shower with her mouth open.

  “I’ll take some coffee.” He reached into the cabinet and took down a mug that read, I Like Big Busts and I Cannot Lie with a small police car underneath.

  “You seem to know your way around my kitchen already. Care to explain?”

  “Not really. You seem to have had a good time last night on that date. Care to explain?”

  “Nope. But I will tell you about the mystery villain who was casing my house from the backyard last night.”

  “What, why didn’t the birds…” Bernie didn’t finish the sentence, catching himself.

  “I’m catching on that more than one side is keeping tabs on me. I suppose I should be flattered?” She took the coffee from him and refilled her mug, blowing on the top for just a second before slurping it in anyway. “You’re here early. I don’t have time for bubble lessons this morning. I have to head to the day job. The Elemental side job will have to wait.”

  “That’s a good one, Peabrain. Your side job can’t wait.” Bernie slapped his knee, letting out a snort, followed quickly by an eye roll. “Yeah, you better keep that day job. Pour me some of that in a go cup, will ya? Come on, your very life depends on it.” He drained the mug of coffee, smacking his lips together.

  “That’s something I totally get but when this is all done, I’d still like to be employed and preferably at the job I really love. Not asking you to understand, still gonna’ do it.” Maggie reluctantly put down her coffee and grabbed her nearby purse, heading for the front door. “And you can pour your own coffee. Let’s not pretend you haven’t been all through this house when I wasn’t looking.”

  “Then I’m coming with.” Bernie put down the coffee and started walking toward the door, stopped by Maggie’s outstretched arm, pushing him back.

  “Not going to happen. I’m not walking into work with my elderly bodyguard.”

  “I’m still in my gnome prime. Don’t be jealous.”

  “Yeah, that’s my issue.”

  “I don’t have to walk in like this. I can do fun size Bernie. Maybe a mouse. Plenty of those in Austin.”

  Maggie was already at the front door, holding it open. “Well, come on if you’re coming. The El Camino is leaving in two minutes whether you’re in it or not.”

  “Oh, hey great, didn’t know it would be that easy. Hey, you don’t look so hot. What did you do on your date last night? You know that saps your strength.” Bernie was still following her down the front walk, lowering his chin and dropping his voice.

  Maggie threw up her arms but didn’t turn around. “There are way too many people involved in my life. Stick to helping me save the world, Bernie.”

  “Yeah, that seems easier.” Bernie opened the door and slid in, already blowing bubbles, shrinking down to a grey field mouse, settling into the cup holder.

  Maggie got in and shut the door behind her, pulling the seat belt across her chest. “Can you even talk when you’re not gnome form? How does this work?”

  The mouse looked up at her and twitched its whiskers but not much more. Maggie’s eyebrows went up and she smiled.

  “Really? Okay, lovin’ this. Day seems a little better already.” She started the car just as her phone buzzed and she looked down and saw it was a text from Jake.

  ‘Thank you again for a great time last night. Still thinking about that kiss. Call you later.’

  The feel of his mouth against hers came back to her and she smiled even more, pulling away from the curb. The mouse stood up on its hind legs, its paws resting over the edge of the cup holder.

  “What?” asked Maggie. “My happiness throwing you off? Settle back, Bernie, we’ll be at work soon.”

  18

  Maggie pulled into the parking lot at the precinct and scooped the mouse up, sliding him into her coat pocket without saying a word. He didn’t have much choice. She wasn’t going in there holding the mouse like it was a new fetish or a pet. She waved at the desk Sergeant and came down the hall, stopping long enough to fill up on more coffee.

  “Mmmm, that’s some good stuff.” She breathed in deeply.

  “Parker, you’re the only cop I know who likes it better old and burnt.” A senior homicide detective walked by her, shaking his head.

  Maggie took a big slurp while trying to hold her mouth open to cool it off.

  “Slow down there, chief,” he said, moving past her.

  She carried the coffee, blowing on the top and felt the mouse moving around in her pocket. It was too late to say anything or
lay down some ground rules before they came inside. She was going to have to hope for the best.

  “Hey Taylor, anything cooking?”

  Her partner looked her up and down and arched an eyebrow. He sat forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his desk. “Little rough around the edges. You and the sister hang out at Mean Eyed Cat a little too long last night?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Don’t get too comfortable, we have a case. Robbery at an auto dealer.”

  “Someone steal a car?”

  “More mundane than that. Broke in and stole the entire safe with the day’s receipts. Did you know some people still pay for things in cash?”

  “I had heard rumors like that.” Maggie settled into her chair anyway, resting her hand against her pocket to keep the mouse from wriggling any further.

  “There are cupcakes in the break room. O’Malley’s wife brought them by for his birthday. I’m getting some now and we can take them with us. If I don’t hustle, there won’t be any by the time we get back.”

  “You move pretty well when you want to.”

  “Right motivation, partner, that’s all it takes. I’ll get you a couple too.”

  “We both know those are yours as well.”

  “Maybe, let’s see how the day plays out.”

  The mouse inside her pocket struggled harder and Maggie pressed down, smiling at Taylor as he walked toward the break room set against the back wall surrounded by clear glass. There were already several detectives huddled around the table eating cupcakes in a few bites, stuffing their cheeks. “Man, they are not going to leave any!” Taylor picked up the pace.

  “Hey, I can’t breathe!” Bernie’s voice erupted from her pocket.

  Taylor turned, startled, looking around the fairly empty room. “You hear that?”

  Maggie stared at Taylor, her eyes wide, saying nothing. She couldn’t lie but it didn’t mean she had to speak. She held her breath, not pressing down quite so firmly and waited. Two more detectives passed Taylor headed for the break room and he gave up, following close behind them.

  “Thank you stars above for that man’s appetite for sugar.” Maggie gently scooped the mouse out of her pocket, opening her desk drawer just wide enough to set the mouse inside. “I thought you couldn’t speak,” she whispered. “Hey, how’s it going?” She smiled at the patrol officer walking by, pulling a file over the drawer to provide cover and nodding as he looked over, puzzled.

  Once he was gone, she pulled back the file and looked down at the mouse.

  “I didn’t say I couldn’t, I just didn’t say anything.” Bernie’s voice came out clear as a bell from the small mouse, even if it was at a lower volume.

  Maggie’s heart was pounding in her chest. “What next? Dude, this is freaking me out. It sounds just like you. Like Body Snatchers but weeble sized. You can’t start talking like that. I have no way to explain it. No one is going to think I’m suddenly that good at ventriloquism. I can barely handle karaoke.”

  “You were smothering me. Be glad I’m not a real mouse. You must have been a prize in elementary school. Can’t imagine a lot of class pets survived their weekend home with you.”

  Maggie frowned, brushing her hair out of her eyes. “You don’t know that. You can’t come on the call with me, especially if you might start talking. Taylor is older and has the worst diet. This might just do him in and I kind of like the guy. Don’t hold up your little paw to protest. This is a hard no.”

  “Fine!” The small mouse crossed his arms over his hairy chest.

  “Wait, you gave in too easy.” Maggie looked up to see if Taylor was coming back yet, but she could see he was trying to eat a cupcake before grabbing a few more.

  “No, I can see when it’s pointless. Go take care of your business and I’ll go looking for the compass. One of us has to look out for the world, keep the big picture in mind.”

  “I’ll get you outside but that’s the best I can do.”

  “No need.” The mouse surprised Maggie and leapt out of the drawer. “I can take care of myself,” he whispered, jumping onto the arm of the chair and scurrying down to the floor. He took off like a shot, dodging between feet and running over a shoe, making a sprint for the door just as another officer was coming inside. The mouse was out of the narrow opening just before the door slammed shut.

  Maggie winced watching the last part, not wanting to see a flattened out Bernie.

  “I brought you one.” Taylor was in front of her, chocolate crumbs dribbled down the front of his shirt. He set a cupcake down in front of her. “That should help you get down the rest of that motor oil they call coffee around these parts.”

  Maggie stood up, feeling a little relieved. “I actually like the stuff.”

  “I know and the only explanation I have is too many years of you drinking blazing hot coffee. Your taste buds are dead, and your patience is not the best.”

  Maggie picked up the cupcake and made a move to leave.

  “You going to eat that?” Taylor shrugged and tilted his head.

  But Maggie gave a healthy lick to the top and smiled. “Yep, I am.”

  “Oh, come on, that wasn’t necessary.” Taylor grabbed his coat, sliding in his arms and grabbing the other two cupcakes as he hurried to catch up with Maggie. “Hey Fozzie, I’ll take that point spread for Sunday. Put me down for fifty.” Taylor waved at a detective, busy typing away on an iPad. The detective raised his head, nodding.

  “I gotcha down, Taylor. Good luck to you.”

  “Isn’t that illegal?” Maggie opened the door, feeling the rush of cold air. It felt good after the stuffy air inside.

  “Nah, friendly wager between friends. That’s still legal. Come on, Sanford’s not my bookie. That would be illegal.”

  “Get in the car, and don’t get any icing on my upholstery.”

  They pulled out of the parking lot in the El Camino and onto the street. Overhead a lone grackle followed closely, squawking loudly as it rode the currents of air. Other birds joined in formation, swooping and turning, trading messages and splintering into smaller groups, headed in different directions. The Huldus were watching over Maggie Parker, doing their best to distract the Earth from noticing she was still alive.

  19

  Maggie stood by the shiny new Santa Fe SUV, listening to the manager of the dealership tell the same story in a loop, while pointing to the broken glass in the front and the scrapes along the ground. She made a mental note that the hole in the front window wasn’t big enough to drag the kind of safe they were talking about through the opening. From the look on Taylor’s face, she knew he was thinking the same thing. Something wasn’t adding up very well. My new normal.

  “Sir, thank you, I appreciate your cooperation. I’d like to move onto a few other points of interest. Can we see the security tape?”

  The manager shook his head hard, his well-coiffed hair not moving at all. He looked beside himself with worry. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Our cameras,” he said, flapping his arms before pointing at each of the well-positioned cameras, “are state of the art. State of the art! I made sure of that myself! But not one of them caught anything you can use. It’s all grainy and the best you can see are blobs moving around something heavy. Had to be my safe.”

  “Stands to reason,” said Taylor, giving Maggie a look. “Can we see this footage for ourselves?”

  “Yes, yes, of course. If you think it will help.” The man’s face was shiny with sweat.

  They got to the door of the office and Taylor hesitated. “Please enter first, sir.” His hand was grazing his hip, close to his weapon.

  Things were seeming eerily familiar to Maggie, too.

  They followed the manager into the office and waited for him to pull up the footage. It didn’t take long before they were staring at grainy film with blurry objects quickly moving something large.

  “Five blobs it looks like.” Taylor leaned in closer. “Can you stop it right there and enlarge tha
t part?”

  Maggie wrinkled her forehead and leaned in closer. “What did you see?”

  “Sir, can you enlarge that right there, just a little more.” Taylor tapped on the screen.

  The manager gave a small grunt and leaned in sideways, tapping furiously as a small portion of the picture grew bigger. There in the center, barely visible if she hadn’t seen something similar now twice before, was a cluster of stars in a random order. Maggie felt a chill down her spine and a tingle across the back of her neck.

  Maggie’s phone buzzed and she looked down to see her mother’s name and the numbers 911 in a text. She felt her chest tighten. Even her mother never sent that kind of text without a good reason. “I’ll be right back.”

  “What is it?” Taylor looked concerned, his hand now resting firmly on his gun.

  “Not sure yet.”

  Maggie stepped outside of the office while Taylor put some distance between himself and the manager. He wasn’t getting clocked twice in one week.

  “Mom? Are you alright? Tell me what’s happened. Slow down, I can’t understand you.” Maggie heard a buzzing in her ears, and she wasn’t sure if it was the peabrain activating or if it was from what she was hearing. “Say it slowly, Mom.”

  Her mother pushed the air out of her lungs and did her best to breathe some back in. “These men showed up at our drumming. Came in from the alley and just came running right at me!” Her voice was strained. Maggie could tell she hadn’t had a drink all day and felt for her. No morning glass of bourbon to get the day going. She was trying to stay clear to tell her what happened.

  “The skinny one tried to pull out a gun, but Lucy beaned him with a drum. Got him good! She broke the drum on his head. That was an antique from up near Montana, I think!”

  Maggie had to make herself stay in detective mode. She put her free hand on her hip, arching her back. If you want to help her, do what you know how to do. Treat this like a case, first and hold her hand later. Maggie clenched her teeth for a moment, holding herself back from trying to comfort her mother. It could only slow her mother down, distract her. Not yet. Still, it was taking everything she had not to soften her voice. Her mother was already having a hard enough time getting to the point.