by Max Hudson
I remembered a particularly interesting adoption where a young girl had marched in with her parents failing to catch up before she made it to me.
She said something I didn’t quite catch. I got down on her level and pointed to my ears. “I can’t hear, but if you speak slowly, I can read your lips. How can I help you?”
One of her parents said something above her and she frowned. “It’s fine Mom, he just can’t hear. Who cares?”
I smiled and glanced up at the parents looking flustered. I wondered what they tried to say about me.
“I want a kitty.” She crossed her arms and stared me down. It was enough to make me a little terrified of her.
“You know, I know a kitty who also can’t hear just like me.”
Her eyes went wide. “You do?”
“He’s a really sweet kitten. He’s orange.”
“I love orange.”
Kids. “I’ll take you to him if your parents are okay with it.”
Macy turned around and fixed her parents with a look I wouldn’t be strong enough to say no to.
After a half an hour of her getting to know the little guy and absorbing everything I said about how to take care of a cat with hearing loss, I transferred them to the front desk to finish the adoption. I knew Macy would take care of and love the little orange kitten. She was determined to do anything for it. She reminded me of me as a kid.
When Lane walked to the shelter to pick me up that evening for a nice dinner out, he told me, “You look really happy.”
“I do?”
“Yeah. It’s radiating off of you. It’s a good look.”
I liked getting compliments from Lane. I was really starting to get used to him being there in my life and making my days a little better.
“Something good happen today?” He asked.
“Oh,” I said cryptically. “Just a few adoptions.”
“Tell me about them over dinner.” He led us to the restaurant and we had a lovely talk over amazing food he paid for without flinching at the price. Next, we walked to the ice cream shop where I insisted I pay and we both tried a new pineapple flavor. Then we walked home to our plants and watered the ones that needed it before watching a movie and falling asleep on the couch.
I was enjoying life for the first time in a long, long time.
***
“I love this new Nate,” Bunny said sipping a glass of wine while looking over my plant display. Lane was out again so I invited Bunny over for a much needed hang out since she’d been so busy with work the past month.
“I don’t feel new,” I insisted. “I just feel better.”
“I guess you’re right. You’re the same big softie who paired up with me in group therapy because no one else would.”
“It felt unfair.”
She smiled. “I wanted to apologize Nate.”
“For what?” She caught me off guard.
“Last time we really talked, I told you to keep Lane at a distance. But I’m glad you didn’t listen to me. He seems good for you.”
“He just pointed me toward somethings I was too caught up in the past to see.”
“I was just worried that once he went back on tour, you’d be alone again. And I didn’t know how to help you,” she admitted.
I took her hands and looked at her with a kind smile. “I’m glad you worry about me. I would have been lost years ago without you. But I think I’m in a good place now. When Lane goes back on tour, I still have a lot that’s just for me. I’ll probably turn his room into a greenhouse,” I joked but I felt a small pang in my chest.
“I know you don’t want him to go,” she said as she rubbed her thumbs over my palms.
“Yeah,” I agreed sadly. “But I can’t ask him to stay.”
“Why not?” She said casually.
“Because he’s a famous popstar? He’s just on vacation?” I wasn’t sure if she was being serious.
“I don’t mean it like staying physically in your apartment.”
“What do you mean then?”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re acting dumb.”
“No really I don’t get it.”
She sighed. “I’m going to let you figure it out then.”
“Bunny.”
She let go of my hands and shook her head. “Come on New Nate. Figure it out.”
She looked up and I felt my phone buzz. Lane was home. We turned and watched the door slide open.
“Hey guys,” Lane said as he took off his ball cap and sunglasses. “Bunny, I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
Bunny said something I didn’t catch. She got my attention and said, “I’m going to walk back to the office and get some paperwork done.”
“You just had wine?”
“A glass,” she rolled her eyes. “Think about what I said.”
She didn’t let me get a word out as she grabbed her purse, tapped Lane on the shoulder, and breezed out of the apartment.
“She’s quick,” Lane said, impressed by her speed.
“She sure is.”
“How do you two know each other anyway?”
“Oh, how did a half-deaf nightclub bouncer meet an executive in the music world?”
“It sounds like quite a story.”
I shook my head. “Not really. After a few years here I decided to spend my money to go to a group therapy for people who had childhood illnesses. She was very outspoken, obviously didn’t want to be there, and had a hard time getting people to do the activities with her. I thought she was interesting and kind of cool honestly so I paired up with her so she wouldn’t be lonely.”
Lane looked like he was laughing pretty hard.
“What?”
“You’ve always been like that.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No.” He stepped closer. “I really like that about you. I’m glad I found you and that I could move in here with you.”
I took his hands in mine. He let me take them without question. Then stay, my heart called as loud as I thought I could make it.
“Nate I…” I saw his lips shake and felt the tremors in his hands.
Stay, stay, stay, my heart beat to the word.
“Nate,” he gasped and pressed forward, pressing his shaking lips to mine. “I don’t want to let you go,” he pressed the words into me. I couldn’t have heard them out loud so I must have felt them through our hands still intertwined.
“So don’t,” I breathed out and pressed our lips together again in the home we made together surrounded by hundreds of plants grown with that same love.
Chapter Thirteen
Lane
I finished up my lesson for the day and got my disguise back on in Ms. Maze’s classroom. “Did your niece like the signed poster?” I asked.
“She was over the moon,” she said in a near monotone. She still had her opinion of my on-stage behavior but at least she had been a little nicer to me during my lessons.
“I’m glad. It’s one of a kind.”
“She didn’t believe it at first, but I convinced her I bullied you into it and that she thought was believable.”
I agreed with her niece. Even if I didn’t need the lessons, Ms. Maze probably could have demanded a signature from me and her glare alone would’ve broken through all of my carefully created personalities. I smiled and Ms. Maze’s mouth upturned just a little.
“Get out of here before my night class shows. I’ll see you next week.”
“See you!” I jokingly saluted her and turned around to leave.
On my walk back to the apartment I practiced in my head the different signs I learned at today’s lesson. I was finally getting a hand on the unique grammar of sign language. I always thought they just signed out each word in a sentence like they were speaking but actually there were a lot of ways to say longer sentences with fewer signs than words. Nearly every “the” I said in out loud conversations were absent when I signed sentences. It was hard to wrap my head around without any experience but
Ms. Maze said I was catching on pretty quickly.
I didn’t feel confident enough to try signing with Nate yet but I hoped I could soon. Ever since we pushed our relationship past strangers forced together, to roommates, to friends, to someone I held in my arms each night, I was more and more eager to be able to talk with him that way.
There was something I wanted to try that night though.
I made sure to ring the button outside his apartment before I headed in so he’d know I was coming in before unlocking the door.
When I walked in, he was busy wiping down the coffee table. Apparently, he had spent the afternoon while I was gone doing a little cleaning. The whole place smelled fresh. Although the plants everywhere helped with that.
“Lane,” he said my name like it was hello.
“Are you busy?” I asked.
“I just finished cleaning the living room,” he explained. “I don’t have anything planned for tonight.”
“I just wanted to try something.”
“Oh?”
“Just trust me okay?”
His surprised expression settled into something softer. “Of course.”
With his help I moved the coffee table he’d just cleaned to the side and I laid down on the ground, beckoning him to join me.
He laid down next to me and I rested my head on his chest. He let me and we settled into a comfortable closeness. Then I took a deep breath and began to sing. I sang as loud as I could. As I sang, I also tried to listen to myself without my ears, feeling the way my notes vibrated through me. All the while I felt the beat of his heart under me.
I finished one of my rare love songs and sat up, heat growing on my face. I looked down at him. “Did it work?”
“Lane… thank you.”
“I just wanted to sing for you.”
He pulled me into him in a fierce hug.
“God,” he groaned next to my ear. “I want you.” He broke apart the hug so he could see my face.
“I want you too,” I assured him.
“Right now?” He asked.
I nodded enthusiastically.
He lifted me with what seemed like zero effort and carried us into his bedroom. “What do you want, Lane?” He purred and I felt every word flow through me.
“I want,” I made sure to enunciate each word carefully. “To take care of you how you take care of me.”
“How?”
“Let me fuck you, please.” I’m glad he couldn’t hear the way I whined for him but by his smirk I could tell he saw right through me.
“Of course Lane baby,” he slipped in the nickname like it was natural. “I’ll let you, if you help me take all these clothes off.”
He set me down on the bed and leaned over me. I began tugging at his shirt and trying to pull it over his head. Once it was gone my hands traced over his hard muscles he’d been hiding from me. He grabbed my hands and pulled them toward his belt. He couldn’t speak or hear while he pushed kisses into my neck, leaving small bruises behind. It was different from my other experiences. I couldn’t plead, I couldn’t whine, I had to show my appreciation through actions. I quickly undid his jeans and pulled them past his hips. His cock swelled beneath his boxers and I swallowed a little nervously. His bulge was so big. Everything about him was big.
He pushed me off of him, my fingers grasping at the edge of his boxers slipping off before I could pull them down too.
“Not yet,” he said. “Not until I see you.”
I felt the touch of his gaze on each inch of skin I revealed as I took off my own shirt and plants. He didn’t tell me to stop so I went ahead and pulled down my boxers. My cock had been hard from the moment he said he wanted me. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of my cock. My heart fluttered as I jerked a little at the unexpected softness.
“You’re beautiful,” he muttered and pressed more light kisses down my shaft. My head arched back and I felt myself already coming so close. I used all my strength to keep myself from coming right there and then.
He could see the expression on my face, he knew I was close, so he moved back.
I opened my eyes, not realizing I had closed them, and gazed up at him. Once he caught my eyes, he slipped down his own boxers releasing his length. It was even bigger than I thought. One day I wanted that inside of me. But for now, I wanted to pleasure him.
I got up on my knees and crawled over to him where he was kneeling so much taller over me on the bed. I took his length into my mouth, just the very tip at first, kissing it just like he did mine. Then I took him deeper, doing my best to take as much of him as possible. I heard the little noises he was making over me and I wanted to show him how much I was liking it too. As I continued to suck, I took his hand and guided it to my cock, resting against my belly. With our hands entwined I moved his hand up and down my length. I wanted him to know how good this was for me.
I felt his other hand on my head guiding my mouth off of his length. He pushed me back on the bed and laid next to me. I didn’t have a chance to breath before he was pulling me over him so we were face to face.
“Tell me what you want to do again Lane baby?”
I gasped as our cocks slid against each other as he casually moved his leg back and forth.
“I want to… to…” It was hard to think straight. I swallowed and fought back a groan. “I want to fuck you. Please Nate let me fuck you. Oh God, please.”
“Since you asked so nicely.” His grip on my shoulders relaxed letting me lift myself up. He wordlessly directed me to his bedside table where he kept his lube. I carefully reached down and prepared his entrance, finding that it took my fingers quite easily.
I wanted to ask him if he’d prepared for me. Prepared in case I wanted to fuck him. If he thought about me while he fingered himself. But even though I couldn’t find the answers out now, the anticipation of them only added to my delicious ache.
He was ready quickly. I lowered myself down until my cock lined up with his entrance. “Nate,” I whispered knowing he wouldn’t hear. But I knew he’d feel it.
I started slow, entering him a little at a time. I wanted to treat him well. I wanted to care for him.
“I’m not going to break you know,’ he said huskily next to my ear. “Really give it to me Lane.”
If that’s what he wanted I would provide. I picked up my pace and thrust again and again. I went all the way to the hilt and watched his face to see if I was hitting the right places. I got into a rhythm where I was making him groan each time I left him even by an inch. He kept urging me on, faster and faster. I went as fast as I could. When I came, I shuddered and fell into his arms. He held me as the orgasm rocked through me. Slowly I left him and crawled back to his cock. I started sucking on it again, hungrily, slightly in a daze from the high of getting to fuck him.
Once I had taken him as deep as I could I felt his hips buck under me as he spilled down my throat.
Once he was spent and finally still on the bed, I slid my lips off of him and crawled back into his arms. I shoved my head into the crook of his neck and pushed myself as close as I could to him.
“Lane,” he breathed out, so many emotions contained in just my name.
I leaned on his chest and hummed. I hoped the vibrations showed the same sentiment.
He pulled me even closer and we slowly drifted off to sleep together. I fell asleep with a grin on my face, so happy and in love with the way he let me take care of him.
Chapter Fourteen
Lane
I got the angry phone call at nine A.M. the next morning. I rolled out of Nate’s arms and he grunted but didn’t fully wake up as I padded out of the room.
“Hello?” I didn’t even try to disguise the sleep in my voice.
“Lane Daughtry. Do you have something to tell me?”
Mr. Smart’s very disappointed tone immediately woke me up as I tried to remember what he could be asking about. By the way he said it, there obviously was something wrong, but I had been laying low
for more than a month and a half now. What trouble could I be getting into?
“No?” I said honestly and braced myself for the response.
“A high school girl in East Seattle has a signed poster from you. And fans have cross referenced it with the signature on your contracts that are public record.”
God, my fans were thorough.
“No matter what we say now they are going to believe it’s real. So, what I want to know: is it?”
Ms. Maze’s niece. I guess I should have thought she might tell people but I didn’t think they’d believe her for the same reason she doubted her aunt.
“It’s real,” I admitted.
I heard a deep intake of breath on the other end of the line. “Lane. What happened that made you want to throw away the past three years of your life?”
“I was paying back a favor. I didn’t think she’d share it.”
“Everyone shares everything,” he berated me and I flinched. “Are you giving up on the character Lane?”
“No,” I responded immediately. I still needed to be Lane Daughtry popstar to keep my career alive. I would be too terrified otherwise.
“This is your last warning Lane. I’ve been lax with you finding your own place and your own security, but if you cause another scene like this we’re going to have to talk about your future in this business and how serious about it you are.”
I swallowed and felt a sense of dread creep in my head. “I understand Mr. Smart.”
“Good.” I heard his reclining chair creak as he leaned back in it over the line. “Now. I have something a little lighter to talk to you about.”
“Yes?”
“We got you a huge concert booked for the end of your vacation to announce your third album.”
“When is it?”
“The week before Christmas.”
I counted quickly in my head. We were mid-way through September and I had moved in early August. That meant I had another three and a half months with Nate before I would be on my way performing a worldwide tour. I wanted to stay, but I also wanted to follow my dream. “I can’t wait,” I said, mustering some enthusiasm.
“You’ll start practices in November so enjoy the rest of your time off Lane.”