Space Hippie

by Tammy Hobbs

  She balks; then, realizing he's serious, she lurches forward. The cop stops her again.

  "Nnno mmmatterrr. I nnno lllongerrr nnneed thozzze otherrr crrr-yssstalllzzz." He motions toward the three devices under Mystery Character. "The peopllle ovv thisss plllannnet kinnnd-llly prrrovvvided mmme with sssommme parrralllysssisss beammmzzz. And onnnssse mmmy mmmachinnne izzz rrr-eady, I'llll havvve nno ussse ffforrr a Rrregennnerrrationnn Crrr-yssstalll.

  She jumps at him again, dragging the cop with her. The crystal glows even brighter.

  He mocks her. "Ooooh, you'rrre powerrrfffulll. But you'llll die with the rrressst ovvv themmm whennn I fffinnnish mmmy mmmachinnne."

  She struggles, but the cop has a firm grip on her.

  A ravioli-like alien enters the room and looks gleefully up at Petrol. He says something in an alien language.

  "Mmmy nnnew Parrradissse mmmachinne izzz nnnearrrllly rrready," says Petrol victoriously. "Whennn they'vvve fffinnnished it, I'llll lllivvve with yourrr mmmotherrr againnn. Without you. The way it alllwayzzz should havvve beennn."

  She screams, "You can't do this!" and lunges at him. He waves to the cop and says something to him in an alien language. The cop wrestles her to the ground, surprisingly strong for a noodle. He pokes a laser gun into her ribs and hustles her from the room.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  The Other Power

  PRISON CELL

  The hippies are crowded around Space Hippie.

  Rainbow's chewing her thumb, thinking. "So he definitely said, 'the Crystal of Attraction?'"

  "Yes!"

  "Interesting... There are only three... And he said he thought it didn't work on you because of your powers?"

  Space Hippie nods.

  "But it doesn't work on us, either," Chillz adds.

  "Maybe it just doesn't work on humans. Hmm..." Rainbow sits, and uses her finger to begin to draw and write with the marinara sauce on the floor.

  They wait expectantly.

  She steps back and shows them three crudely drawn crystals labelled "3-Plus," "Harmony," and "Spend." "Okay, look. There are only three of those crystals, right?"

  Space Hippie shrugs. "I guess. That's what the news said."

  "Correction. There WERE three," Starr points out.

  "And what are their powers?"

  "The one on 3-Plus-Kids brought things back to life and made them grow fast," says Chillz. "And the Spendopolis crystal kept things in-"

  "Or out," jumps in Starr. "Like a shield."

  Everybody nods.

  "And I guess this one attracts creatures to whoever uses it," Space Hippie finishes for them. "You should have seen those aliens. They looked like they were in love with him."

  Chillz mimics gagging himself.

  Rainbow turns to Space Hippie again. "And what are your powers?"

  "Well, I can attract animals."

  Rainbow makes an "X" on the crystal marked "Harmony."

  "And make things grow," says Starr. "The slime, remember?"

  Space Hippie rolls her eyes. "Slime. Big deal."

  "And let's not forget about making zombies," says Chillz with a smirk.

  Space Hippie sticks out her tongue at him. "Thanks."

  Rainbow crosses out the "3-Plus" crystal. "So those are the powers-"

  "Of two of the crystals!" blurts out Starr in excitement. "The Crystal of Attraction and the one from Planet 3-Plus-Kids!"

  "Right," says Rainbow. "I wonder if..."

  She draws a question mark over the crystal labelled "Spend."

  Space Hippie understands where she's going with this. "If I have the powers of the other crystal? The crystal from Spendopolis?"

  "Have you ever tried?" asks Rainbow.

  Space Hippie shrugs. "Not really. Not on purpose, I mean. But now that you mention it, things have happened..." She stops for a moment, thinking. They wait expectantly.

  "What?"

  ""Well, if you're ever going to check it out, now's a good time, right?" Starr asks her patiently.

  Space Hippie looks from face to excited face. She nods nervously but forces herself not to twist her hair.

  She stares ahead and lowers her eyebrows in concentration...

  Nothing.

  "Try again," Rainbow commands.

  Space Hippie closes her eyes and tries again. She grunts a little. She tries thinking about her other powers. She thinks about hugs. Guitars. Butterflies. Chillz.

  A very thin, spotty, shield-like blue bubble begins to form around her.

  She opens her eyes and the shield disappears. Everyone begins to clap in excitement.

  "Superb!" she hears. "Apple-y!" "Googlicious!" She grins from ear to ear.

  Chillz stops clapping first, though. "That's awesome, but we might be out of time. Here comes trouble."

  Three macaroni officers approach, chatting excitedly with the cell guards in their alien language.

  Hovering Fettucini Entity translates for them as they walk back out. "They say the machine is ready."

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  Out Of Time

  ALTAR ROOM

  Petrol has changed shape. Excited that he might see his lover soon, he's shifted to a heart shape- but it looks all wrong, all black and evil.

  He's standing next to a robotic-looking metallic box.

  The box, the Paradise Machine, is connected by a wire to still-paralyzed Mystery Character's enormous chest-- right over his heart.

  Petrol pulls the lever on the box with a gleeful laugh.

  As he does so, everything except Petrol begins to lose color, and Mystery Character begins to shrink.

  INSIDE THE PRISON CELL

  Everything starts to turn brown.

  Rainbow stumbles. Herb helps her sit.

  But he sways. "Whoa, man! Question mark?"

  "This may be our last chance to get out," says Chillz intensely. He gives Starr a meaningful look. She nods ever so slightly.

  OUTSIDE THE PRISON CELL

  Outside of the bars, two sandals fly up behind the guards and hit them in the head. The tortellini troopers slump to the floor.

  INSIDE THE PRISON CELL

  Starr is standing in her bare feet, grinning.

  Chillz pats her on the back.

  Everything gets a little browner

  Herb and Rainbow reach out through the bars and, with tremendous effort, drag the unconscious guards a little closer to grab their keys; then they fall over, passed out.

  Starr shakes her arms up and down, starting to panic. "Hurry!" She grabs the keys and unlocks the cell, but sways and has to sit.

  "Starr!" Space Hippie rushes to her.

  Starr's passing out. "Just go..." she mumbles.

  Space Hippie and Chillz run out of the cell, but Chillz only takes a few steps before he stumbles and falls.

  "Chillz!" Space Hippie stops for him, shakes him, crying.

  "Go! Go! Go now..." She hears a masculine Italian voice urge her on. But when she looks at him, he settles to the floor and becomes very still. His marinara sauce begins to ooze thickly across the floor.

  Everything but Space Hippie is looking quite brown.

  Alarmed, Space Hippie bolts up the stairs at top speed.

  ALTAR ROOM

  All of the pasta aliens in the altar room are unconscious. They're shriveling up, drying out, becoming brittle, cracking.

  Mystery Character is human-sized and still shrinking. He is turning the color of dead grass.

  Petrol, by contrast, is starting to glow a rainbow of colors.

  Space Hippie stumbles weakly into the room. She, too, is fading.

  Several unconscious aliens lie in her path to Petrol. She struggles to climb over one, then another, but doesn't have enough strength for the third one.

  Desperate, she tries to use her new power. She closes her eyes and forms a spotty shield around herself. She extends it outward, making it larger, trying to encompass Myste
ry Character with it to protect him.

  Petrol notices. "What arrre you doing?"

  But she's not strong enough, not practiced enough. The shield thins, sputters, and winks out like a flame before it gets to him.

  Petrol laughs at her.

  "Hippie brrr-at!" he calls out triumphantly.

  Space Hippie falls. She becomes very still, and her eyes fix on one spot.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Hero

  ALTAR ROOM

  Mystery Character is the size of a shriveled houseplant. Everything is now fading from brown to tones of gray-- except for Petrol, who contrasts indecently with the rest of the Universe by hogging all the color, gathering it all in one spot. He is glowing violently clashing, whirling, vibrating neon colors that seem to be fighting with each other for space on his body. The color spots hum, and they each hum higher as they get bigger.

  A ghostly image of Space Hippie's mother begins to form in front of Petrol. Wavering and faded at first, it becomes more solid and colorful over the next few moments. It smiles at him and reaches toward him. He smiles back, the first human-looking smile he's given anyone since his death. He reaches for her hand...

  Distracted, Petrol doesn't see what Space Hippie is doing on the floor.

  Still alive, she's actually staring very hard at the slime on her shirt.

  A swooshing noise surrounding her starts like a whisper, but gets louder and louder. Eventually, it drowns out the color-humming. This finally gets Petrol's attention. His rapturous smile falters. He looks around for the source of the new sound. He sees Space Hippie shaking and gasping on the the floor.

  "Brrrat," he says with a snort. He dismisses her with a jerk of his head and turns away.

  "C-call..." she murmurs.

  The slime on her shirt grows to the size of a bowling ball.

  She struggles for breath.

  "Me..." she says more confidently.

  It bubbles and grows to the size of a beach ball.

  "Space..." she shouts, muffled, behind it.

  It swells dramatically in size.

  "Hippie!" She gurgles through the slime.

  It almost instantly fills the room. Wherever it touches Petrol, he sizzles.

  "Aghh! Ugack!" He screams.

  The slime eats him up until there's nothing left. It then falls to the floor with a burp and a splat, covering everything and everyone- including the Paradise Machine, making it spark and explode.

  Mystery Character rapidly grows back to his original size. As he does so, everything goes back to its normal color.

  The pasta aliens begin to rehydrate, plump up, and become flexible again. After a moment, they shake themselves and stand up, coming out of their trance.

  Space Hippie runs over to the devices keeping Mystery Character paralyzed and shuts them off.

  Behind her, Mystery Character floats down to stand on the floor and his surprised face settles into a big grin.

  But it's not his voice she hears over her shoulder.

  "Spacey!"

  Chills runs to her and picks her up with a big hug. "How?"

  Starr and Rainbow follow. "Petrol?" Rainbow asks.

  Space Hippie wipes some slime onto Rainbow's nose. "I degreased him!" She laughs and pulls the girls in for a group hug.

  Mystery Character taps Space Hippie on her back with one finger of his enormous hand.

  She looks up and makes eye contact with him.

  He holds down his two middle fingers on his right hand and pretends to headbang.

  She laughs.

  Herb hobbles into the room. He nods to Mystery Character. "How's it goin', man?"

  Mystery Character nods and silently gives Herb the peace sign, then jumps and flies out through the opening at the top of the cathedral. He grins down at Space Hippie and the others as they wave goodbye. Then he zips up into space.

  Back down on the floor, Space Hippie helps up a confused alien covered in slime.

  As she does so, about three hundred flufflings pour into the cathedral through the opening in the top.

  They land on the hippies and aliens, pushing them back onto the slimy floor. Space Hippie rolls around in the slime, cracking up laughing.

  One at a time, the hippies and aliens join her.

  Chillz rolls over to her. "You did it, Green Bean!"

  And they kiss...

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Celebrity, Too

  AUTO BODY SHOP

  The sign over the shop reads "Hal's Auto Body- Painting, Repairs."

  Inside the shop, the Luv Shuttle is in the garage getting sprayed with clear coat. Her beautiful new psychedelic paint job is almost finished.

  The repairman glances nervously to his left. Through a large window, he can see the customers in the shop lobby. Herb has his nosed pressed up against the glass. He's obsessively watching the painting process.

  The other hippies sit on a bench in the background. Chillz has his arm around Space Hippie.

  SPACE- ABOVE EARTH

  The freshly-painted Luv Shuttle is zooming away from Earth.

  ISLANDS ON ALIEN PLANET

  A string of islands stretches below, surrounded by a vast, shallow, light-blue ocean.

  The Luv Shuttle flies in from above, heading for a landing on the largest island.

  ALIEN BEACH

  Night. A stage stands on the beach. Over a thousand attractive 3-eyed alien fans crowd around it.

  An alien pop band finishes playing on the stage.

  The crowd claps politely. The band bows and exits the stage.

  A short, well-dressed alien fellow hops onto the stage and takes the mic. "And now, I hear this new band is out of this world."

  The crowd begins to hoot and cheer excitedly-

  He tries to yell over them, "Give it up for-"

  They cheer so loudly that they drown out his voice.

  He bellows as loudly as he can, "Give it up for Hippies from Space!"

  The crowd is thunderous.

  The hippies take the stage. Herb on keyboard, Chillz on drums, Starr on bass, and Space Hippie on a shiny new electric guitar. Rainbow's at the mic.

  They plug in and begin to play for the screaming fans.

  Space Hippie looks ecstatic.

  * * * THE END * * *