Still Point

by Katie Kacvinsky

  I thought about this. I realized maybe he was right. Maybe all this time, instead of pushing me away, he was just pushing me down a different path.

  “You were the only person willing to stand up to me, Madeline,” he said. “You’re just as stubborn as I am. I realized you might be the only person strong enough to help me bring down DS.”

  A van suddenly skidded down the hill after us and nearly T-boned the back of the car. Justin gunned the engine. The van kicked up a cloud of dust and rocks as it braked behind us, and then it was on our tail again. Its engine roared, and the fender caught our bumper and shoved all of us forward.

  There was nowhere for Justin to swerve. The road dipped with potholes and the car rocked over them, sending our heads into the roof. I held on to the seat in front of me, and my dad tried to keep himself steady with one arm pressed against the door.

  The van tried to maneuver around us, but the road was too narrow. Its grille hit our fender again, and Justin shouted orders into his earpod for someone to give him directions to the nearest boat launch.

  The road dipped closer to the river, and I looked down at the water next to us, separated only by a ledge of rocks. When the dirt road widened a few feet, the van took its chance and raced forward, clipping the back edge of our car, sending us spinning off the road. A dirt incline lifted the car off the ground.

  In my next two breaths this is what I felt: Sailing over a bed of rocks. Flying into dark blue waves. A giant shove. A wall of water.

  Chapter Nineteen

  We all slammed forward and back against the seat as the car settled into the river. The current caught the front tires and pulled the car downstream.

  I blinked with shock for the first second. My hand grabbed for the door handle and pulled, but nothing happened.

  “Unlock the doors!” I shouted as water started to seep through the floorboards.

  My dad pushed against his door helplessly.

  “They’re unlocked!” Justin shouted.

  I tried again. “They won’t open,” I said.

  “The water pressure’s too strong,” Jax said, his voice scratchy.

  “Can we shoot through the windows?” I asked.

  “Bulletproof,” Justin said.

  The water crawled around my feet in rippling waves that looked like snakes coiling. It bubbled and creaked its way in. Its cold mouth devoured my ankles and greedily clawed up my calves.

  I looked at Justin. “Can’t this car fly or self-destruct or something?” I pleaded.

  “If you don’t panic, we can do this,” Jax said.

  Don’t panic. Funny. The nose of the car was being pulled down, and the water climbed up to our knees.

  “Can you swim?” Jax asked me, and I shook my head. “Can you?” he asked my dad.

  My dad seemed to be in shock, staring straight ahead at the water that was starting to come over the windshield. He offered a shaky nod.

  “We can’t open these doors—there’s too much pressure. We have to wait until the car is completely submerged,” Jax said, and Justin nodded.

  “Until the pressure on the inside is equal to the pressure on the outside?” I asked.

  “Right. Then the doors should open,” Justin said.

  “Should,” I whispered.

  “They will,” Jax said.

  I gasped with pain as the freezing water sloshed over my waist. My feet were already numb. I pushed my hand against the glass window, hoping it would snap free. I was already panicking.

  “Is this a guess in physics or a promise?” I asked.

  “I promise,” Jax said. He looked over his shoulder at me. “We might be underwater for a minute. Just hold your breath. The worst thing you can do is panic. Keep the air in your lungs as long as you can.”

  I gasped for air as the water hit my chest, stunning my body, so cold it felt like a thousand stings. The front windshield was completely underwater. Murky darkness surrounded us, as if a giant water serpent was swallowing us whole. The serpent jostled us, batting us back and forth like a toy.

  I was already struggling to breathe. My lips were shaking. I wanted to punch my way out. I pressed my fist into the window.

  “Try to stay calm,” Justin said, his own voice wavering. He turned back to make sure my dad was listening. “We’re going to be fine. When we get out of the car, there’s a current. Don’t try to swim against it—you’ll just exhaust yourself. Let it take you downstream, and slowly make your way over to the edge. Jax, when you get out, grab Maddie.” Justin turned to me. “Let him pull you. If you struggle, it’s going to be a lot more work for both of you.”

  The water was almost up to our necks now. The car was completely submerged, and water was seeping through the top of the windshield.

  I tried the handle again and nothing happened.

  The car started to rotate.

  “Deep breaths,” Justin said. “Fill your lungs. Maddie—” Justin had to cut himself off as the water filled the front of the car above his head.

  The water was spilling over my chin, teasing the corners of my mouth. I said a silent prayer and tried the door, but it was still unyielding.

  I held my neck up for the last few inches of air in the car, gulping desperately. My dad’s hand found mine underwater, and he held it tight. My numb fingers could barely respond.

  “We can do this,” he whispered. His lips were purple and they trembled when he spoke.

  Thoughts spun through my head, but mostly I was thinking about air. How limited it was. How much I took it for granted.

  “I’m so sorry for everything, Maddie,” he said. “You know how much I love you, and Mom and Joe? Don’t you?”

  He held my eyes, waiting for an answer, as if his life depended on it. My body was going into shock from the cold. My breaths were short and forced. All I could offer was a shaky nod.

  The water swallowed up the last inch of air, and my dad pushed against the door. I could sense his desperation. I opened my eyes and everything was grayish blue. The light above was floating and fleeing away. Air bubbles poured out of my dad’s nose, and I knew he had panicked. He wrestled with the door and let go of my hand to push harder, but nothing was happening. It had probably been five seconds, but it felt like minutes. My lungs started to burn, demanding to exhale, but I knew as soon as I let the air out, the urge to inhale would be even more painful. I wanted to scream. The dark, freezing, claustrophobic space was starting to break me down. I pierced my lips together and held on. My dad’s movements were slowing down. I knew we had only seconds.

  I pushed all the weight of my body into the car door. It didn’t budge. I started to cry through the pain, and when I opened my mouth to scream for help, all it did was let every precious molecule of oxygen escape out of my lungs. With one last prayer I pushed again, jabbing my shoulder into the door and groaning through the pain to inhale. I felt the door release from its jamb and I fought harder. I started to inhale and water filled my throat. I gagged it out, only to inhale more. I fought and punched but all I was fighting was water. I tried to grab it, cling to it, but it passed through my fingers like I was fighting a ghost. The pressure on my chest made it ache, as if the car were on top of me, crushing me. I needed to breathe. I clawed the water, searching for air.

  I wished I would have told Justin I loved him one last time. I wished I would have told my dad.

  I angrily pushed against the door. The air, the precious air, was only a few feet above me, taunting me. I could see sunlight wavering through like a hand extending down that I couldn’t reach.

  The door suddenly swung open, and an arm reached out for me through the cloudy water. Jax grabbed me around the waist, and we kicked to the surface. When our faces hit the ceiling of air above us, we both gasped for oxygen. I spit mouthfuls of water, pushing it out from deep in my chest. My lungs screamed for more air, and I gulped, gagging out the water clogging my nose and throat. Jax pulled his arm across my chest and latched it around my waist. I lay back on his shoulder a
nd tried to act like a buoy in the water, but I felt myself sinking and it made me panic. I kicked my legs and Jax tried to hold me, but I dragged both of us underneath the water. Jax shouted as he fought to steady me.

  “I’ve got you,” he said. “Just lean into me.” We were both gagging and coughing on the water. We could still drown if we didn’t get to the bank.

  I forced my legs to settle, and he grabbed my waist again. I leaned on him like a raft as he paddled with one arm to move us slowly toward the bank. I scanned the water and saw Justin ahead of us, swimming for the edge.

  Jax pushed me to the bank and his head slipped underwater as he lifted me up. I climbed up his back and shoulders, and he pushed my legs up, over the rocky boulders. I grabbed his hand and helped pull him up next to me.

  My eyes tore through the landscape searching for my father. In the distance I could see the black roof of the car, like a shiny seal’s back, hovering on the surface of the water, and my dad’s white hand clung to the edge of it. His head was bobbing over the waves.

  Before I yelled out, Justin dived in after him. Jax and I climbed the rock ledge, using weeds and boulders as hand- and footholds until we reached a sandy dirt trail. I ran downstream, my eyes trained on my dad.

  “Dad, hold on!” I shouted as Justin was catching up to the car. My dad was struggling to hold his head above the water.

  Justin was still twenty feet away when my dad’s head fell completely under the current. I gasped, imagining that was the last image of my father, this desperate sinking. Justin dived underwater and seconds ticked by. They were both gone and I was crying.

  I started to jump down to the river, but Jax caught me and held me back. I fought him, and he pulled my arms tighter, closer to him, to make me stay on the trail. I cried and punched his chest as he tried to hold me, his arms pinning mine. I buried my head in his shirt, which was ripped from getting out of the car.

  I heard shouts and looked up to see Justin struggling to lift my dad’s head out of the water. He was easing their way toward the bank on the other side of the river. My dad hung limply at Justin’s side as he paddled his way across the current, trying to move with it at the same time to save his energy. I could see my dad coughing, his lips moving as he tried to expel the water filling his lungs.

  I sprinted along with them, practically leaping, following the current until they were safe on the opposite bank. I bent over, panting with relief. I waved across the river at Dad and Justin, who sprawled on the shoreline a hundred yards away.

  I was soaking wet and should have been freezing cold, but I had enough adrenaline in my system to numb out any pain. I looked at Jax; his lips were purple from the cold water. We both smiled with a mixture of shock and relief.

  I peeled off my dripping-wet coat and did my best to wring out my wet T-shirt.

  “Are you all right?” Jax asked me, and I nodded. He looked downstream, but the car was out of sight.

  “DS physics paid off. My theory was right,” he said, and blew out a sigh.

  “Your theory? You mean you weren’t sure?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Technically it made sense,” he noted.

  I frowned. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to punch Jax or hug him. His being half naked, his shirt hanging off one shoulder and ripped along his chest, exposing muscles that clearly weren’t formed from painting all day, would have made the hugging option awkward.

  Across the river, Justin and my dad were bent over in the dirt, coughing and getting their breath back. I heard an engine in the distance, and my back tensed. I looked at Justin and watched for a signal to run, but he waved at the boat as it crawled upstream. It looked like an old ferryboat, large enough to haul a hundred people. Justin signaled for the driver to stop.

  “I don’t think he can dock here,” Jax said. “Not with a boat that size.” We watched as the driver unlatched a Jet Ski tied to the rear of the boat. He jumped on and drove over to the shore. Justin signaled for my dad to go first. I watched my dad grab the driver’s arm and climb onto the back seat of the Jet Ski.

  The sun peered through the clouds, and it felt like a warm blanket against my skin. It helped to thaw out my numb fingers. I sat down on the sandy trail next to Jax and felt the warm sand nestle between my fingers.

  “Are you sorry you agreed to help me?” I asked him. He looked over at me, his black eyes fixed on mine. Goose bumps rose over his arms.

  “And miss this? You kidding?” he asked, and I smiled.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  He looked out at the river. “For having so much water in your personality, you’re lousy at swimming in it,” he joked, but my smile faded. How did he know me that well? I didn’t have any online profiles anymore. There was no way to research my likes, interests, groups, contacts, pictures, social sites. I never updated my status or changed my photo billboard. I choose carefully who I let into my life. I want people to have permission to know me, not unlimited constant access to me. It took me almost a year to figure out Justin, to chisel through deeply guarded layers. Isn’t it supposed to take that long with everyone?

  I watched my dad and the driver turn back to the boat. The hairs on my arm suddenly spiked, and my back arched as I looked around. I heard movement in the shrubs behind us, and Jax heard it as well. He was already on his feet.

  I snapped my head around as two men hurdled rocks and grass toward us. They were dressed all in black, like moving shadows.

  Jax helped pull me up and I staggered to my feet, then we sprinted down the side of the trail. One of the men caught up to us and reached out for me, but Jax grabbed his arm and twisted it back.

  “Run,” Jax told me.

  The second man was on top of us, and before Jax could block him, his fist smashed against Jax’s face with a snapping crack. I lunged at him, but the second man grabbed my arms and held me back. Both men kicked Jax in the ribs, knocking the air out of him and sending him to his knees. There was so much blood on his face, I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. It dripped and pooled on the sandy ground beneath him.

  “Stop!” I screamed.

  An engine roared and I looked over to see the Jet Ski headed our way. In the next instant the man holding me slapped handcuffs over my wrists.

  They handcuffed Jax and pulled him off the ground. He used his forearm to wipe off the blood running over his lips. I stared helplessly at the man holding him.

  “You want to end up like him, or cooperate and get in the van?” he sneered.

  They tugged us over the weeds and up a short hill. I looked over my shoulder and could see the Jet Ski reaching the edge of the river. Justin was in the water, swimming in our direction, fighting the strong current.

  At the top of the hill the men opened the back door of a windowless gray van parked in the weeds. They quickly searched us, pulling out flipscreens and devices and throwing them into a black bag. One of the men pulled a switchblade out of Jax’s pocket. He turned the knife in his hand for a second, admiring the old weapon. He pocketed it and threw the bag into the driver’s seat.

  The man holding me flipped me around to face the van. He kicked my legs apart while he scanned my thighs, arms, back, and waist.

  He shoved me forward and I stumbled into the van. I pulled my legs back before they slammed my feet in the door. The van’s engine roared and the tires pushed off the gravel road. I slid into the metal door as we took off.

  Jax grabbed my hands and pulled me next to him on the floor. Air shafts in the sides of the cargo van let in enough light so that I could see his outline.

  “Are you all right?” I asked him.

  “I’ll feel better when my nose is realigned,” he said.

  “Jax—”

  “I’m fine.”

  He braced himself against the door, and I squeezed in between him and a metal storage shelf. I held on to the side of the shelf, fighting to stay in place as the van swerved and dipped.

  “They took everything,” I said. “We don’t have a wa
y to contact anyone.”

  My eyes were adjusting. I looked over at Jax to see that his eyes were closed. He was breathing slowly. I couldn’t tell if he was in pain or concentrating.

  He leaned his head back against the van wall and cupped his fingers over the bridge of his nose; his eyes tightened in a wince. He pressed his nose between his thumbs and jerked them to the side and I heard a pop. I winced and put my hand over my own nose, feeling a short burst of pain.

  He leaned back and laughed. “So much better,” he said.

  I couldn’t believe he was laughing.

  “This is bad, isn’t it?” I whispered.

  “I’ve been in better situations.”

  “Any brilliant plans?” I asked.

  “Always,” Jax said.

  Chapter Twenty

  The van came to a stop and the engine cut out. We were both quiet as we listened for a hint as to our new surroundings. All I could hear were Jax’s deep, steady breaths. The doors flew open and white light flooded in, blinding us. I threw my arm over my eyes, but a hand grabbed me and yanked me out of the van.

  “We meet again.” Vaughn’s unmistakable voice was close to my ear. “If you want to live, you better cooperate this time.”

  I was half running, half tripping next to Vaughn as he hurriedly pulled me along. I looked around at blinking ground lights and realized we were at a small airport. We were crossing a tarmac heading toward a plane parked on the runway. The roar of the engine was so loud, it vibrated inside my ears. I looked around for anyone, but all I saw was a cement runway baking under the sunshine and a couple of abandoned planes parked next to white, windowless garages. I looked behind me to see Jax walking alongside one of the men who’d kidnapped us. He was staring ahead at the plane.

  My damp T-shirt and jeans swatted my skin in the breeze.