by Mya Robarts
Baron’s family is a tight-knit group. My aunt, Olga Busko, and Pastor Adriel Lee-Rivers were dismissed when they tried to visit Duque. Not even the multitude of Diaz cousins and aunts have been able to see him. I know that Rey needs space as well. I tried to comfort him once, and he acted as though he didn’t want to see me. We’ve had more soldiers than usual at the clinic lately, so I remain out of sight. When Rey’s ready, he’ll come to me.
I can’t stop thinking about the hell that Duque’s going through. I can’t shake the feeling that the next victim will be me. If my worst nightmares come true and someone violates me, will I be able to live a normal life? To enjoy love at an emotional level? A physical level?
At that precise moment, I hear a velvety voice. Turning, I find Tristan flashing a dazzling smile and hurrying to catch up with me as I pass a graffitied building.
“Hello, Miss Velez,” he says, his accent thick. “Are you on your way to the clinic? May I accompany you?”
I look around nervously. “Isn’t that fraternizing?” The punishment for Accord cops who fraternize can get nasty. They’re supposed to be neutral.
He grins. “You’re worthy of deportation, torture, and death.”
I can’t help but smile timidly. Tristan is so easy to like. Walking to the clinic with him by my side—and with him carrying my backpack—elevates my mood.
Tristan’s twenty-one and has been a cop for four months. I’m usually tongue-tied around strangers, especially young guys. He doesn’t mind the long lapses in our conversation, though. In between polite questions and his spilling the beans about Gary’s whereabouts–—he was sent to a hospital in Gyges before being deported–— Tristan talks a lot about his boss. Evidently, he looks up to him. I’m surprised to hear that Aleksey is only twenty-five—he looks so mature. But hearing that he has never lost a fight and that he’s a lone wolf is unsurprising.
“Soldiers and civilians admire Prince Aleksey, but they don’t accept him because he’s different. Most people don’t see him as a human being, but the Velez family does.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, feeling intrigued. “Girls swarm around him all the time!”
Tristan stops walking and hands me a pair of headphones. “Yes, because he’s attractive, but they think of him as a stunning piece of flesh, not a person. They see him as a freak because he’s a giant. Listen.”
His j-device projects an image. I put on the headphones. Tristan has recorded his patrol and something more. I recognize Elena and her girlfriends talking about Aleksey in sexual terms. Admiringly, at first. But then …
“Can you imagine having kids with someone like him?” a giggling girl asks.
“No way. What a creep! He’s gorgeous, but there’s no room for his freaky offspring inside me,” answers Elena. “His dick, on the other hand …”
Their words infuriate me. They’d be lucky if someone like Aleksey did so much as turn to look at them. Too bad I can’t fight an untrained person because Elena has been getting on my nerves lately.
Tristan smiles, apparently pleased with my reaction. “Prince Aleksey rejects everyone because he likes his solitude, but also because women see him as a sex toy. He’s been lonely forever, devoting every minute of his time to our missions. But I’m sure he’d be different, if he found the right girl.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because there’s been some diplomatic turmoil. Nats and Patriots regard Gary Sleecket as a war hero. He saved many civilian lives from both countries. Now, many people around North America see Prince Aleksey as the bad guy.”
Feeling irritated, I kick a pebble out of the way. Of course! Gary, the abusive cop, would become popular while Aleksey, the outlier, would be regarded as the villain.
Tristan doesn’t like this either. I’d never seen him scowl before. “He doesn’t care, but I wish people understood him more. He’s saved my life twice, and yours, too.”
I make a mental note to analyze all this later. That’s when I notice some girls shooting me darker looks than usual. They’re always lusting after the cops, and here I am, effortlessly talking to one. Unchaperoned.
“You Starvillers aren’t exactly welcoming, are you?”
Tristan’s offhand, friendly attitude makes it easy to talk to him. “They could be worse, Mr. Froh. I don’t think you’re ready to ask for a Starville girl’s hand, are you?”
“Their hands?” Tristan chuckles. “Prince Aleksey and I are the only unmarried cops in our battalion, but we can’t marry Americans. If we married a Patriot citizen, Nats wouldn’t allow us into their country, or vice versa. It’d be a disaster if Americans kept us out of occupied towns. There are enough abuses as it is.”
“Because the UNNO does nothing to stop them,” I say sharply.
His face becomes serious. “We’ve made mistakes, but the good outweighs the bad. You don’t have the official numbers, but I do. Americans need us, and we want to help.”
Another delusional optimist like Dad, who sees only what he wants to see. Doesn’t he know that most Accord cops turn a blind eye to Patriot crimes? Didn’t a cop recently attack me? No point in discussing this with him. Let’s see how he acts on recruitment day. When the troops break the recruitment protocol, will he risk his life to stop them?
I look around at some children playing on a deserted street. “So … you’ll protect Starvillers even if they aren’t agreeable, won’t you?”
Tristan observes me intently with an expression of fascination. “Well, Starvillers have their fun side, too,” he says. I can’t wait for the Assumption of Mary feast.”
The Assumption Feast and the Anniversary of the Patriot Constitution occur on the same date. Starvillers pretend to celebrate a Patriot holiday when, in reality, they celebrate the religious party. One of the few liberties in the occupied territories is freedom of creed. Religious books are the only readings approved by Patriots, and the soldiers never miss a Sunday service.
I kick a piece of rubble. “How can people celebrate at a time like this?”
“They were going to cancel after the air raid, but we’ve never been to a town feast, so we pushed for it. Prince Aleksey took charge of the music. Are you going to the party?”
In response, I flinch.
“You should come,” he says flirtatiously. “I can walk you home afterward.”
It almost sounds like a date, but I won’t read much into his invitation. Anyway, I’m glad that I got new information about Aleksey.
I understand his proposition now.
14
His full consent
I call it a day, exhausted after hours of training. I’m wearing only short white pants and a white tank, but the heat emanating from my body makes me feel as though I’m overdressed. I’m about to go to the clinic shower when I hear steps outside my door. There’s a soft knock.
“Can I enter?” asks a male voice.
I open the door to find Rey standing there. His amber eyes peer into mine. Rey needs me. His face reveals desperation and anger. I haven’t seen him this distressed since the troops recruited Angie, and it’s a heartbreaking sight.
“Duque.” He blinks repeatedly. “He says … he’ll kill himself.”
“Oh, no! Duque!” I understand how Duque feels. I’d want to be dead, too, if they recruited me.
“TCR … I convinced Duque to join … to fight against Patriots, against recruitment—” says Rey, his hands in his pockets. “Look where TCR got him. Where I got him.”
“I want to see him. I want to help,” I say, but Rey shakes his head.
“He still doesn’t want to see anyone. He just yelled at me that he wants to be alone.”
I pull him into a tight hug. I know what it’s like to have a family hurt by violence. I can’t stand to see Rey so heartbroken again. I want to do something, say something, but I’ve never been good with words. I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his chest. He pulls me closer.
I d
on’t know how long we stay like this.
Eventually, we move to lie on my cot. We’re facing each other, talking softly. Not about TCR as we usually do. Rey talks about his pain and worries. He tells me how much he wants to kill Duque’s attackers. He wants to protect Reyna, as he promised on his mother’s deathbed, but now he thinks he’s failed Duque. Rey doesn’t mention it, but I know that he feels guilty about what happened to Angie, too. He says that he fears he’ll never be free to start his own family. I feel the same. The war has hurt us both. His pain is my pain; his fears, my fears.
My hospital cot is too small for the both of us. Our bodies press together. I feel the rhythm of his breath, his chest rising and falling. He shifts to get a better grip on me and accidentally brushes my breast. The sensation of his body against mine makes me shiver. It feels thrilling and, in a way, arousing.
The atmosphere in the room changes. Rey must have noticed it. The tenderness in his eyes has turned into something else.
He places his hand beneath my chin, forcing me to look up before he kisses me deeply, his lips teasing mine apart. We’re so close that I immediately feel when he hardens.
I’m so shocked that my first impulse is to reject him. But my slight push on his muscular shoulders doesn’t stop him. If anything, his kiss grows more intense.
His trembling hand on my thigh slides down, bending my leg to bring it up. His hands roam around my stomach, my waist, and my hips. They gently move up and down my bare leg, stopping at my calf. Rey moans in my mouth, and I find that the sounds of his pleasure have an unwanted arousing effect. I don’t want to feel like this now, not when he’s vulnerable.
He removes his shirt and rolls me over on the bed so that he’s on top. Rey’s lips graze their way from my lips to my neck.
He started this. I might think he wants me, but he’s not being himself. Should I stop him? But I don’t want him to stop. My mind repeats a litany. Recruitment. I should experience this before recruitment.
Hesitantly, I trail my hands over the solid muscles of his stomach. He responds automatically, rubbing his body against mine.
“Rey, are you sure of this?” I need his full acceptance.
He smiles, but doesn’t answer. He slowly rolls up my tank to kiss my stomach. I assume that’s his way of saying yes.
I finally have his full consent. I’ll lose my virtue tonight.
15
Curiosity
We’ve kissed for so long that my lips feel swollen. It’s been a nice make-out session, but neither of us has dared to move things forward.
Rey’s shirt and pants are on the floor, but I’m still wearing my white tank and underwear. We haven’t seen each other naked yet, and my clothes feel like a barrier. It’s evident his body is ready to take the next step. Hoping he doesn’t laugh at me, I place his hands on the hem of my tank. He tenses but takes the invitation along with the top. A rush of self-consciousness makes me blush; I have some imperfections here and there. What if he compares my frame to his ex’s flawless figure? But Rey’s eyes tell me he doesn’t find any fault with my body.
He leans in to kiss the skin above the edge of my bra. His mouth follows the line of my undergarment. I close my eyes and moan. His hands on my back fumble to unhook my bra.
A sound startles us, and we pull away from each other.
Aleksey is in the entryway, looking at us with disapproval. His voice sounds casual but forced. “I was looking for Dr. Velez. Obviously, he’s not around.”
Rey jumps off the bed. Aleksey briefly glances at my pointed nipples showing under my bra while I fumble for my tank and shorts. Rey notices it, too, and his expression changes from one of surprise to one of anger. He throws a sheet over my body.
Aleksey points a finger at Rey, but his eyes are on me. “You might not know this, Starviller, but this is my clinic. Dr. Velez—and, by extension, his family—can stay as part of the staff. But you’re wearing out your welcome.”
“This isn’t your clinic, and you have no business in here,” says Rey furiously.
“I’m the leader of the Accord Unit that built this clinic. Respect visiting hours.”
Rey strides toward Aleksey, fuming. “I don’t remember you carrying brick after brick to build the clinic.”
Arrogantly, with an almost bored expression, Aleksey points toward the door, indicating that Rey should leave. It only irritates Rey further.
“You have no authority here! I won’t take orders from you,” Rey snaps.
Aleksey speaks in a derisive tone, “And I won’t take seriously a guy who has his penis’ head on full display.”
I suppress a nervous giggle. In truth, the erect top portion of Rey’s penis shows above the band of his underwear. If I weren’t so embarrassed, I’d find it funny.
Rey’s face is humorless as he slides his pants up, fuming. His muscles bulge in rage. Before I can blink, he throws a punch, aiming at Aleksey’s massive chest. The Accord cop easily blocks the blow. That only infuriates Rey, who hurls himself against Aleksey. I never saw Rey attack anyone with such intensity, not even Gary.
Aleksey, on the other hand, yawns as he blocks Rey’s attacks. It’s as though he’s only toying with Rey to enrage him.
“Enough!” I yell. Neither pays attention.
After several failed attempts, Rey lands a right hook on Aleksey’s jaw. Aleksey’s eyes turn murderous. I’ve seen those eyes before. If Aleksey uses his full force on Rey, he’ll kill him.
I take a broomstick and swing at them. Both stop to stare at me.
“I said enough!” I force a measure of sternness into my voice. “Both of you get out!”
Aleksey shakes his head. “I won’t go until he’s gone.”
I turn to Rey, the one I’m sure can be reasonable. My eyes plead with him, but Rey isn’t looking at me. His eyes continue to glare at the mountain in front of him. “I won’t leave you alone with my Angie.”
Rey’s words make me take a step away from him. Was he thinking about her while we were touching? Should I care?
When Rey realizes what he’s just said, he blushes and seems ready to bolt from the room.
Aleksey turns to look at me, a malicious glint in his eye. “You want to give your virginity to someone who mistakes you for another?”
The V-word. So unnecessary. My fists clench, and hot anger courses through me. I miss those times when I couldn’t picture Aleksey as someone capable of speaking in full sentences. If he’s going to say things like that, I’d rather he shut up.
Rey’s ready to fight again, but I stop him. He leaves the room after throwing a dark look at Aleksey—a look that says, I’ll get you back for this.
“Now it’s your turn to go,” I say acidly. “As soon as you tell me why you’re here—and don’t give me that ‘searching for my father’ crap.”
“I saw your friend coming up, but never saw him leave. I assumed he wouldn’t stay with his brother. That maybe he needed a warmer bed.” Aleksey looks me up and down. “Not that I blame him.”
I glare at him. He knows I’ve been looking forward to my deflowering. Not only did he interrupt it, he also has the nerve to make fun of me.
He starts to leave the room, his red cape swishing as he turns around.
Aleksey is near the door when my knife almost hits him. Years of military training make him duck reflexively. The knife nails his cape to the wooden wall. I take pleasure in his look of surprise when he turns to me.
“You told me I could take this room, but that doesn’t give you the right to tell me what to do with it!” My body shudders. “If you want, I’ll move out. But never, ever, enter my room again.”
I hear the sound of his cape ripping as he frees it from the knife, but by then I’m stalking down the corridor. I’m almost to the courtyard when I turn to glare at him one last time. He’s glaring back.
He says loudly enough for me to hear, “Your curiosity will get you hurt.”
“Curiosity?” I look at him in disbelief. I can’t ke
ep my voice down. “I’m not curious! I’m desperate!”
Seething with fury, Aleksey and I walk in opposite directions.
“Among the fluctuation of the river currents, an abyss as green as the sea, its extension and profundity as immense as the ocean opened before me: the eyes of a beautiful girl.
I succumbed into that abyss instantly, like a man who falls from the highest cliff into the ocean …
… and I drowned.”
General Fürst’s journal
16
Laying down arms
It’s almost dawn, and the sloshing of the river harmonizes with the loud chirping of birds. Excited, Poncho runs toward the water and jumps in. The orange flowers that frame the glade look more colorful than ever as a warm, soft breeze rustles them.
I don’t come here just for Divine and Joey. I come for the peace and beauty of this solitary place.
Aleksey hasn’t come to the glade in two days. Fine by me. Thinking about his arrogance brings a scowl to my face.
I lie down and let my mind wander.
That night in my room, Rey opened a door that I thought for sure we’d closed. But now that I know he won’t reject me if I ask him to have sex, I won’t.
I stretch my arms above my head and close my eyes.
Rey was stressed that night because of Duque. He should think it through, prove to himself that he wants me again. Maybe if we let things flow, I can have a magical sexual debut with him. It won’t meet my idealistic expectations, but somehow it’ll be enough.
I’m lost in my thoughts when the air charges with a heated magnetism. He doesn’t make a sound, but I know that he’s standing next to me.
I open my eyes. We aren’t happy to see each other, but I want to keep things civil. “General Fürst.”
He nods briefly without looking at me and sits in his usual spot. I sit up, inhaling deeply. He doesn’t smell like alcohol today.