Home to Me

by LaVerne Clark

  She shrugged. “No. It was the one way I could feel like a woman after having to wear that ugly bank uniform for so many years.” She worked hard to keep her tone innocent. “Is there a problem?”

  He released a long breath, pulled out a navy-blue set, and slammed the drawer closed with his hip. “Nope. Here you go.”

  The silky underwear dropped in front of her, and she struggled to keep from laughing out loud. “Ah, you might want to rethink this pair too, Sam.”

  He about-turned in the doorway, one hand gripping the frame, knuckles showing white through the skin. “Why?”

  She held the panties up and twirled them by one finger. “Because these—beautiful though they are—are crotchless.”

  Fascinated, she watched as a multitude of expressions chased one after another over his face. The color which had started to fade on his cheekbones deepened as his nostrils flared, and his focus narrowed like a laser beam. The flare of heat in his eyes became nuclear. As he stalked back into the room, she suddenly wondered if her teasing had gone just a little too far. The underpants slipped from suddenly nerveless fingers and fell to a soft puddle on the floor.

  Pinned under his gaze, her heart flitted about like a wild bird in a cage, and she suddenly became aware of just how naked she was in front of him. Slow measured steps brought him closer, his eyes burning into hers, holding her captive. She couldn’t look away even if she wanted to, couldn’t even blink.

  He bent down until his face was level with hers, scooped up the tiny scraps of material she’d dropped, and pocketed them. “In that case, I’ll save these for another day.”

  As he rose to his full height, his eyes continued to burn into hers, and she swallowed to ease a painfully dry throat. Every inch of her body quivered. She was a fool to think she could take him on at his own game. He’d turned the tables back on her so easily and neatly it was embarrassing. Perhaps taking pity on her, he blinked and the spell was broken, allowing her to breathe again. He turned his back, fishing a new set of underwear out of the drawers, and dropped them into her lap.

  “Come on, the day’s a-wasting. Get your butt into the shower before I drag you in myself.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.”

  Grim sincerity and stark hunger blazed from his gaze. “Try me.”

  For a split second, she saw how it would happen. He’d rip the blanket from her, then throw her over his shoulder, his callused hands riding on her naked thighs as he found his grip, millimeters away from her ass. Another shiver stole over her skin. The idea both excited and scared her.

  “You have ten seconds to decide. One…two…three…”

  With a shriek, she clutched the duvet cover to her chest and leaped off the bed. Snatching up the pile of clothing, she eased past him and dived for the door. A chuckle followed her all the way to the bathroom.

  Closing the door behind her, she leaned against the wood, her knees jellified, and listened to his steps recede downstairs. She lifted a hand to her racing heart, then pushed away from the support to stand in front of the mirror. Dropping the bedclothes, she studied her naked reflection.

  After the attack, weight had plummeted from her bones. Her insides had been a churning mess. Food no longer appealed but was something to endure, a necessity to keep her body fueled. Her figure had borne the brunt of her frazzled nerves. In the following years, it had been as if she were making up for that time, and her ribs had disappeared a little too completely.

  Now she cupped her breasts, trying to imagine how they’d feel to Sam, if they’d be to his liking. An average B-cup, she couldn’t help but worry he’d find her lacking. She’d seen photos of the women he’d dated courtesy of her mother who’d thought updates were a good way of making her homesick and therefore come home. They were all gorgeous creatures with full busts, nipped-in waists, and legs that went on forever. What if once he saw her naked, he regretted his offer? She couldn’t bear that. She wanted him to desire her so much it was difficult to keep his hands to himself.

  And then the memory of his eyes burning into hers while he fingered her underwear swam to the surface of her consciousness, and she shivered, nerves dancing around a maypole in her belly as she dared to believe she might get what she wished for.

  Hand to her belly, she leaned forward and stared into her wide-eyed gaze. Expecting to feel anxiety and a little bit of fear, all she felt was anticipation and excitement. A smile stretched across her face. For far too long, she’d been a tender shoot, stunted by darkness. Now it felt as if the sun radiated down on her, and she surprised herself with how much she ached to stretch toward the warmth and light.

  Suddenly keen to see what other surprises lay ahead in the day, she turned the shower onto full blast and scrubbed herself from head to toe.

  ****

  Following the sound of animated conversation, Lucy descended the stairs, pulling a light cardigan over her plain black T-shirt. Pausing just before the kitchen door, she drank in the sight of her mother laughing at something Sam had said. Frown lines melted away by mirth and eyes sparkling with life, she looked years younger.

  Guilt flashed hot over her cheeks. She should have come home earlier. True, she’d been fighting her own demons, oblivious to anyone else’s pain, but it was clear she’d been needed at home. Especially in the aftermath of her father’s death. How could she have been so selfish? Thank God Sam had been here. She hated to think how alone her mother might have been otherwise.

  Yet another thing to add to the list of things to thank him for.

  As if sensing her eyes on him, he glanced up and smiled. Telling herself it was gratitude that made her heart swell and stomach dip, she ignored the voice calling her on the lie and stepped into the room.

  “Morning, darling.” Her mother’s smile faded back into its habitual frown, and she clucked her tongue. “You’re looking a little green around the gills. I’ve just brewed some fresh coffee. Sam made me make the fancy stuff. Would you like a cup?”

  “Thanks, Ma.” She sidled past Sam to reach the cupboard holding the mugs and pulled down her favorite. Nothing short of a big helping of coffee was going to cut the mustard this morning. Bless Sam and his foresight in making her mother make some proper coffee rather than the powdered instant she favored.

  “Sam was just telling me about rescuing you from that man in the bar. I can’t believe the line he used on you.” She giggled again, and Lucy’s mouth kicked up at the corners. “Did he really believe that would pick up any woman in her right mind?” She shook her head. “Men these days. They’re all boys. They’ve no idea.”

  “Lucky you weren’t there, Janet. I would have had my hands full keeping the hordes in line.”

  “Oh, stop it.” Her mother slapped his forearm and rolled her eyes, and Lucy’s heart squeezed at the easy way he teased her, the way her mother practically glowed whenever he was around.

  “Are you sure you won’t reconsider going out with me?” he continued. “You know I’ve always loved you.”

  “Oh, Sam, you silly boy, I love you too. You’re so good for my ego. But you know I’ve always thought the younger version of me would be perfect for you.”

  Lucy’s gaze swung to her mother. That was news to her.

  “You’re so wise, Janet.” Sam’s arm snaked around Lucy’s waist, pulling her flush to the side of his body, and she let out a squeak. “Maybe it’s about time I started acting on your advice.”

  Coffee sloshed dangerously close to the lip of the mug as he drew her in. Before she could react, he bent his head and captured her lips with his in a resounding kiss. Her free hand rose and bunched in his shirtfront as her head whirled, whether to keep her balance or keep him from pulling away, she didn’t know.

  Sam lifted his head before she could decide, leaving her lips tingling and veins running hot. She was thankful his arm still supported her as she seriously doubted her limbs had strength enough in them to do their job.

  “How wonderful!” Her mother clapped her hands, and Lucy
blinked slowly back to attention. Her mother’s face glowed with happiness.

  Lucy had no idea she’d harbored serious hopes for the two of them, but apparently, Sam had. Her gaze shot back up to Sam, and anger built. What was he playing at? He was helping her overcome her fear of the opposite sex, but that was all it was. They weren’t in a relationship. How could he allow her mother to think they were? Couldn’t he see how happy the idea made her? And equally on the flipside, couldn’t he see how much it would devastate her when it came time to part?

  “Sam.” She squirmed, pushing against his chest with her free hand until his arms dropped from her waist. “It’s not what you think, Ma.”

  Determined to set her mother straight, she opened her mouth, then frowned. What could she say that didn’t make the course of action they’d embarked on sound lurid and depraved? We’re not in a relationship. Sam has just kindly offered me the use of his body to practice having sex. She cringed as she imagined her mother’s shock at that announcement and shut her mouth again.

  “No, it’s not, Janet.”

  Suspicion reared its head, and she narrowed her eyes at him. In one step, he closed the gap she’d put between them and threaded his fingers through hers. A warning squeeze told her he wasn’t going to back off without a fight, and that if she wanted to make a scene, he was more than willing to indulge.

  “Not yet anyway—but I’m working on it. In fact, we’re going to spend the day together. I’ll have her home sometime after dinner.”

  “Oh, how lovely. You’d better get going, then. Don’t let me hold you up.” Her mother reached up and patted him on the cheek, then took the mug out of Lucy’s hand. “And get that scowl off your face, darling, it’ll give you wrinkles.”

  She ushered them out the door and waved as they stepped down onto the path, Sam still holding her hand. “Have fun, you two. I won’t wait up.” She winked and then shut the door, leaving Lucy with her mouth agape.

  Sam tugged her toward the gleaming black Jeep at the curb, opened the passenger door for her, and strode around to the driver’s seat. The vehicle dipped slightly under his weight as he got in and closed the door with a soft clunk. Now that they sat insulated in their own private world, her heart jackhammered against the wall of her chest. For the first time since she’d known him, being alone and breathing the same air in such a confined space was frighteningly intimate. Butterflies rioted in her lower belly. He punched the start button, and the engine caught and purred.

  The sound of a deep inhale surprised her, and she turned her head to study his profile. He’d closed his eyes, a death grip turning his knuckles white on the steering wheel. His chest expanded as he held his breath, then let it out in a loud exhale. His hands loosened on the wheel, fingers flexing before being replaced.

  His gaze slid her way, and he gave her a sheepish grin. “Hey, I’m just as scared as you, brat.”

  Just like that, the man beside her reverted back to the boy she’d known and loved forever, and she found herself relaxing a little more. “After that little scene inside with Mum, I find that hard to believe.”

  The corners of his mouth kicked up into a wider smile, creating the crease in his cheek she’d always found so irresistible. “What better way to diffuse the tension than to indulge in a lip-lock with a beautiful woman? Besides”—his eyes grew somber as he studied her—“I refuse to let fear stop me from experiencing something wonderful, and there’s no way in hell I’ll let it rule you also.” Speech over, he flicked the indicator, and after a glance in both the rear-vision and side mirror, pulled out onto the road.

  Silenced, she turned her attention out the window as suburbia slipped by. She jerked as Sam rested one hand above her knee. Her eyes widened on his as he squeezed the flesh gently, causing frissons of heat to shoot from the site to the very core of her.

  “First lesson, Luce. Getting used to my touch. I want you looking forward to it, thinking about it.” His voice deepened. “Hungering for it.”

  Oh, God. Didn’t he realize she was already halfway there? She’d been yearning for his touch for years. Shaken, she tried for a playful tone. “Wow. There’s a lesson plan? Just like school. What’s the next stage?”

  “You initiating touch until it’s as natural as breathing.” He lifted his hand back to the steering wheel. “Punching me in the shoulder doesn’t count.”

  Heat scorched across her cheeks. If he only knew the number of times she’d dreamed of touching him, and now he was giving her carte blanche. Did she have the courage to follow through without the ever-present fear of rejection getting in the way?

  As if he’d read her mind, he sent her a crooked grin. “Just so you know, I’ll welcome whatever you’re comfortable with.”

  Thankfully, he returned his attention back to the road because her face flamed as she imagined all the ways she’d like to touch him. And none of them could even be remotely classified as comfortable.

  “I need you to feel completely safe with me. If at any stage you’re uncomfortable with what we’re doing, tell me and we’ll stop. No matter what. You can trust me on that, okay. But I want you to make a promise in return.”

  Wary at the sudden gravity to his voice, she steeled herself. “It depends what it is.”

  The traffic lights they approached turned red, and Sam slowed to a stop, eyes solemn on hers. “I want you to be honest. At all times. Especially to yourself.”

  At her frown, he continued.

  “I want you to recognize if you’re getting uncomfortable with something, to determine whether you really are, or whether it is purely bad thoughts regurgitating in your head.”

  Yet again he proved just how well he knew her. There would be no deceiving him.

  At her silence, he continued, “I’m going to help you, Lucy, but I can’t do it all by myself. We need to be on the same page—a team. Can you promise me that?”

  He waited, one brow raised, and she blew out a breath, her fringe lifting at the force of her exhale. “Okay.”

  The lightning smile on his face zapped her like a bolt from the sky, and it wasn’t until the traffic light changed to green and he turned his attention from her that she could breathe easily again.

  Suburbia eventually blurred into countryside. The scent of newly cut hay wafted through the vents, filling the interior of the car, and Lucy breathed deep of the fresh smell. Straight away, it transported her to the days of her carefree youth. Back to the day when she and Jordan’s begging and pleading their parents to take them horse riding had finally borne fruit.

  Upon hearing his parents were going through a messy divorce, Lucy’s parents had insisted Jordan’s new friend, Sam, come along to enjoy a day out too. At first, Lucy hadn’t been impressed. Something about the surly boy made her super aware of him. Super uncomfortable. He infected her moods with his own. She grew clumsy and self-conscious when his eyes lit on her, and on the rare occasion she’d met his eyes, they always seemed to be mocking her.

  And then they visited the stables. She’d never forget witnessing the smile of pure delight transform his somber expression when the mount he’d been assigned turned its head and snorted, rubbing its head against his chest. The smile turned his face into a thing of beauty. When he glanced her way, instead of shutting down, he laughed, his eyes sparkling, inviting her to share in his unfettered joy. That moment had changed everything. The moment he’d let her in—whether by accident or design—she’d been captivated by him.

  Now she glanced over at his profile, noting the small smile hovering at the corner of his mouth. “We’re going horse riding, aren’t we?”

  His smile widened. “I should have blindfolded you. It was meant to be a surprise.”

  She grinned back, ignoring the leap her dirty mind made at the word blindfold. “That wouldn’t have helped. The smell would have given it away any day of the week.”

  A sign advising the turnoff to Hidden Falls Stables was fifty meters away caught her eye, and she gaped. Last time she’d been here,
the stables had no name. She’d always believed that needed rectifying. The younger, more romantic version of herself had voiced her opinion to the two boys on numerous occasions, declaring Hidden Falls would be the perfect name after they’d discovered just that on one of their extended rides. She glanced over at Sam suspiciously, but he concentrated on the road before them.

  Slowing, he pulled off the main road and turned into the familiar gravel-lined driveway. Only now beautifully trimmed poplars stood to attention like soldiers on either side as they drove, and Lucy’s sense of excitement grew. The last time she’d been here, they’d been mere shrubs, planted with meticulous care and great optimism by a voluntary army of riding students. Now they’d flourished into an impressive display of health and vitality, giving off a feeling of grandeur.

  As they rounded the last bend in the driveway, she tore her gaze from the landscaping and leaned forward in her seat, eager to see the place that had lived in her most treasured of memories for so long.

  “Wow.” The word escaped on a sigh of wonder. Where before there had been just a fork in the road that took visitors to either the stables or crude lodgings, now there stood a smart office, impressive signage with a map of the farm, and clearly marked parking. “This place has changed since I was here last.”

  Sam maneuvered into a spare space and turned the engine off. “For the better, I hope?” He seemed strangely tense.

  She laughed. “Are you kidding me? It’s incredible. I hope the riding instructors are still of the same caliber, though. It all looks rather flash and upscale. Remember Mrs. Oates?”

  The tension left his body, and his teeth flashed white, making her pulse leap in response. “How could anyone forget Mrs. Oates? The bark and bearing of a drill sergeant, with the heart of a marshmallow. Let’s go find out, shall we?”