City Girl
Page 22
going to live forever. What will you do when they're
gone?"
"I'll be very sad. I'll grieve for a long time, but I still
won't hold back on my feelings for them today. I'll still
pour my heart into them so that today can be all God
intended and so when they do ride away from here--even
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if it turns out to be the last time I see them on this earth-- I'll have no regrets.
"You're right, Reagan, families do cost something, but
they're worth every cent."
Reagan was so shaken that she almost dropped her
washcloth. Her complexion went very pale, and she looked
helplessly at Cash.
"Reagan." Cash's voice was the kindest she'd ever
heard. "I'm sorry to upset you. I promise it was the last
thing I wanted to do. You didn't want to talk about it I
should have let it go."
"You did let it go," she reminded him. "I brought it back
up." She turned to the dishpan and admitted softly, "I
don't know why I'm the way I am."
"If s not hard to guess, the way your mother left and
your father turned to drink."
Reagan nodded. "But there's no excuse for worry or fear,
is there, Cash? You told us how huge our God is and how
powerful and able to look after our every need He is. You
told Katy and me that last Thursday night, and Pastor Fills said something about it on Sunday too."
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City Girl 205
"Thaf s true, Reagan, and if s great you remembered, but
don't be harder on yourself than God is. When you fall into
the sin of worry or fear, confess it to God as you would any
other sin, and ask Him to change you."
They heard laughter coming from Katy's room, and
Reagan listened to it in silence. Cash was right. Those men
with her had no guarantee that Katy would be alive the
next time they visited, but they'd traveled--one leaving an
expectant wife--to see her because she was loved, because
she was family. Even if she died an hour after they left, they
would not be the least bit sorry they had come. In fact,
Reagan thought with a sudden certainty, it would probably
be quite the opposite.
Without warning the young woman relaxed. She had
not been thinking logically. Her fear had clouded her judgment.
If she knew that she had a last chance to see Sally or
Holly, she would not stay away. She would go to her side
and be with her no matter how hard it was to say goodbye
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at a later time.
For a moment Reagan was transported back to the day
she realized her mother was not returning. For a long time
she had blamed herself. She convinced herself that her
mother would have stayed if she'd only been a better little
girl. Then her life became consumed with her father's
drinking, and some of her mother's memory faded into the
background. She had started to wonder if she'd caused her
father to drink, but by then a wall had grown around her
heart, and she didn't care-if she had or not
Today she was able to see that she had not been responsible.
Just by thinking about her own life, she knew that she
couldn't blame someone else for the choices she made, no
matter how tempting that might be.
With a heartfelt sigh, Reagan turned to thank Cash for
the help his words had been but found herself alone.
And isn't that just like him, Reagan thought with pleasure. He's so thoughtful and caring. It's too bad he doesn't have
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children, she said to the Lord. Their upbringing would be Jar
377
removed from my own.
5"3r -
"We
have to talk."
Cash had been dead asleep. He was emotionally drained
these days/ and most nights when his head hit the pillow,
he was gone.
"Dakota?"
"Yeah. Slater too."
Cash heard the strike of a match just as light came into
his eyes. Both his brothers were standing fully dressed at
the side of his bed. For a moment he wondered what time
it was and then realized they must have stayed up talking
after he'd gone to bed.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, but with Slater leaving tomorrow night, who
knows when well get to talk again?"
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Cash was finally awake enough to look into their eyes.
He caught steely determination.
"Talk or browbeat me into agreeing with you?"
"He knows us too well," Dakota said without repentance
and proceeded to sit on the edge of the bed. Slater
took the floor.
"I know she's a new Christian and that these things take
time," Dakota began. "But Slate and I want to know if
you've noticed Reagan."
-"She
lives in my house," Cash stated calmly.
"That doesn't mean you've noticed her," Slater said.
"Dak told me that if you hadn't pointed out to him that he
was falling for Darvi, he might never have given it a
thought."
"And you think I've fallen for Reagan?"
"No. We think she's fallen for you."
Cash had no trouble shaking his head.
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City Girl 207
"Now there you're wrong. If ever there was a woman
who did not want a family, it's Reagan Sullivan."
This stopped both men. Their brother's voice told mem
he was completely serious.
"Listen," Cash went on, "I appreciate your caring--you
know I do--and as I've told you, I want to fall in love and
get married. But it doesn't seem to consume my thoughts
like it does yours. I'm happy and at peace with who I am
right now. If God has someone for me, you'll be the first to
know, but for now, I can't push this, especially not with
Reagan. Her heart can't take it"
"We're sorry we woke you," Dakota said sincerely.
"Thanks for telling us, Cash. We'll keep praying."
"Thank you. I'll see you in the morning," he murmured,
sounding as tired as he felt.
"All right. Good night."
Slater said his goodnight as well, but the moment the
two men were out in the hallway, Dakota signaled his
380
brother into his room. They shut the door so they could
finish the conversation.
"He's in love with her," Slater stated.
"I think so too, but he doesn't know it, and rigjit now it
looks like that's for the best"
"Do you think he does know but has held his feelings in
check? I mean, she did just come to Christ, and Cash would
not even entertain the notion of marrying an unbeliever."
"He might have, but I don't think so. I think his heart is
as tender as it's always been, and Reagan is just another
one of the many recipients."
The younger Rawlings brothers were tired as well and
didn't have much more to say. With few other words, each
man sought his own bed, but before they could rest, each
was convicted of his thoughts and actions.
A major miracle had happened with both Katy and
Reagan coming to Christ, and all they could
do was play
matchmaker. In the morning, both men planned to seek
Cash out and apologize.
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381
5-*3r
"You want to ride?" Reagan asked in surprise, staring
up at Slater.
"Sure. I've seen them in St. Louis but never been close to
one. Or don't you think 111 fit?"
"Oh, no, you'll fit I'm just surprised."
"Why?"
Reagan looked uncertain and then knew she had to
come out with it.
"I'm the reason Katy broke her hip. I brought the bike
out and talked her into riding."
"Thaf s not what Katy said/' Slater told her with a smile.
Reagan blinked.
"What did Katy say?"
"She said that she knew she should have stopped and
didn't. She was getting tired but wanted to show off for
Cash, so when she put her leg out, it couldn't support her."
Reagan's mouth opened and Slater grinned. Her hands
382
came to her waist, and the accent slipped into place.
"So you've been chattin' behind Reagan's back, have
you now? Well, I'll tell you a thing or two, Mr. Rawlings,"
Reagan began, stopping when she saw that Dakota had
come on the scene and was staring at hen
"Do it again," he ordered, but Reagan only laughed.
"I thought you were here to visit Katy," she accused
them, her voice returning to normal.
"She's asleep. I think we wore her out last night and
then again this morning,"
"I still want to ride this thing," Slater put in, and Reagan
acquiesced and gave him a quick demonstration.
"She just hops right on! Etid you see that?"
"Yes, I did. I think I'll have a try."
"Wait your turn, Dakota."
Before long Cash joined the threesome, and in little time
they had Reagan in near hysterics with their antics on the
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bike. To the amazement of all, Cash was the most proficient.
"Have you been practicing in the barn when I wasn't
looking?" Reagan challenged him.
"Every night," he teased. "I sneak down after dark and
ride among the horses."
"Wouldn't Darvi love to see this," Slater called as
Dakota took a turn.
"I was thinking of some of the Rangers I used to work
with. I'm glad they're not around now."
"Rangers?" Reagan questioned Cash.
"Dakota and Slater were both with the Texas Rangers."
Reagan's mouth dropped open as she did nothing to disguise
her amazement.
"Real Texas Rangers?"
Cash smiled.
"Who's a real Texas Ranger?" Dakota asked as he rode
up and stopped.
Reagan could only stare at both of the younger Rawlngses.
"What's so amazing, Reagan?" Cash asked her.
"I don't know. I just never thought I'd meet any. I've
384
been hearing about the Texas Rangers since I was a little
girl."
Once again Cash was given a glimpse of life through
Reagan's eyes. The very things he thought nothing of were
special and amazing to her.
"Is it too personal to ask why you're not with the
Rangers anymore?"
"Not at all." Dakota filled her in, explaining the way
Rangers had to be on the move and how hard it was to
meet that expectation and also be with his family.
Reagan was still looking stunned over who they had
been when she realized she hadn't checked on Katy for a
time.
"I'd better get inside."
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"Thanks for the lesson/' they called to her, but Reagan
only waved them away. Once inside she found Katy still
asleep and thought it might be a good time to dust and
sweep upstairs. She tried to make quick work of it but
385
found it was quite warm and was reminded that she still
hadn't gotten a chance to shop for cooler clothing. Having'
arrived in this hot country in January, she had not made
summer clothing a priority, but suddenly Reagan felt
awful.
Not caring whether or not she was needed, Reagan
moved down to Katy's bedroom and sat quietly in the
chair. The window was open, and for a time she let what
little breeze there was blow in on her as she prayed for
Katy's hip to heal.
"Are you all right, Reagan?"
Reagan turned from the window to find Katy looking at
her.
I'm just a little warm."
"Have you nothing cooler to wear?" the older woman
asked, taking in the long sleeves and dark material of
Reagan's dress.
"No. I haven't had a chance to shop."
"Well, go today."
"No. I'll just take some time the next time we need supplies."
386
"Oh, stuff and nonsense! If s only April, Reagan. You're
going to need cooler clothing. Go now while I have the
boys to look after me."
"It's not the same," Reagan informed her, knowing Katy
would understand her meaning.
"I don't have any needs like that right now. I'm fine.
Now go. No, wait. Get Cash in here. I'll ask him to take
you. Do you have money?"
"Yes, thank you, I do have money, and 111 just ride my
bike."
"How will you get your dress home?"
City Girl 211
"Mrs. Unger will wrap it, I'm sure." Reagan smiled
before adding, "Dinna fash yourself, woman."
Before it was over, Cash ended up hearing about
Reagan's plans and did offer to take her into town, but she
would have none of it. Before lunch, so the sun was not
quite as fierce, Reagan--with instructions to take all day if
she needed--took herself off in the direction of town, her
387
mind already going over what she should buy. She also had
a letter in her pocket from Katy. It was to be delivered to
Lavinia. Reagan assumed it was a thank-you note for the
powder.
And she was partially correct.
Had Reagan but known it, Katy was plotting against her.
All her life Katy Sims had had tender thoughts for the ones
she loved, but never before had she felt she could express
them or do anything about them. It had been her lot, or so
she felt, to cook and clean as a way to say the words she
could not utter.
Now she knew better. And the letter to Lavinia was only
the start
$eimtet
"I'M having a sale for special customers," Lavinia
whispered to Reagan not many minutes after she was
handed the letter. "Buy two dresses, get one free."
Reagan's eyes rounded.
388
"When is the sale?"
'Today only."
Katy had not asked the mercantile proprietress to lie to
Reagan; nevertheless, in handling it her own way, she was
going to accomplish Katy's goal.
That Lavinia had received a note from Katy thanking
her for the powder and telling her to talk Reagan into
buying an extra dress and putting it on her bill was enough
to surprise her into sitting down, but she fou
ght the urge.
Staying on her feet and helping Reagan, Lavinia was able
to see that in just under an hour's time, the younger
woman left the store with three new dresses, all very lightweight
and comfortable, and some new underthings and
stockings too.
Never in her life had Reagan been able to afford more
than two dresses. Her shoes were not going to last another
year, but for the moment, Reagan felt as though she was set
for life. She was so excited about her purchases that she
wanted to tell someone. At the same time, she wanted to
ignore Katy's orders to take her time. Telling herself she
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City Girl 213
would just take a few minutes, she rode her bicycle toward
Holly's house.
As Reagan knew she would be, Holly was very surprised
but also pleased to see her.
"You came in on your own? Cash didn't have one of the
men bring you?"
"No, I rode my bike."
"I'm surprised Cash didn't do the job himself."
"He wanted to, but his brothers are visiting, one of them
just until tonight, and I didn't want any of them to have to
come to town with me."
"Will you be able to get things back on your bike?"
"Yes. It's just a small bundle of clothing."
"For you?"
Reagan nodded.
"Show me!"
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For a time the women enjoyed looking at the purchases,
but before long Reagan put her hand on Holly's arm and
spoke intently about what had been lingering in her heart
on her ride into town.
"I understand now, Holly, why you wanted this for me.
I was reading my Bible on Monday morning and realized
that your prayers were answered with a yes. You knew
how much God's Son would do in my life, and you wanted
that for me."
"Oh, Reagan," Holly said quietly, "you have no idea
what you do for my heart."
"I don't know how," Reagan said with a laugh. "There's
so little I know."
"But you want to know, and that's such a blessing,
Reagan."
Reagan frowned a little.
"Think of how delighted you were when the children
loved your bike and Elly wanted to ride it. You were
thrilled to have them share in something you love."
Reagan nodded with new understanding.
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'It's coining up on noon. Do you have time to walk with
Alisa and me to give Russell his lunch?"
Reagan hesitated, but she wanted to see the large blacksmith
who was missing from her life on the ranch.