One Hella Lucky Goddess (The Midlife Goddess)

by Tee, Marian

  “Those stone statues look unbelievably cool, don't you think?"

  Mary Priscilla wouldn't even follow the direction of my gaze. "I really don't like this place, Saoirse—-"

  I wrinkled my nose at her. "Of course you wouldn't." The kid watched horror movies for educational entertainment but ran away in disgust every time she heard Sesame Street playing on the TV. So yeah, with this place practically oozing with warmth and happiness coming from the festival goers, it was only to be expected—-

  "Oh my God, do you smell that?" I was once again distracted, my nose, sniff-sniff-sniffing away as delicious smells wafted towards us. Although the scent of incense still perfumed the air rather overpoweringly, there was something else this time...

  "That's definitely dumplings," I said dreamily. "And pork buns, and even shrimp wonton—-"

  "Saoirse!" The eight-year-old ghost scowled up at me. "This is not the time to think about food!" She gestured to the busy scene around us. "Can't you feel how weird this place is?"

  "Weird how?" I looked around and did my best to get a sense of any kind of weirdness, but the irresistible smell of shrimp wonton noodles kept getting in the way, and dear God, I was getting really, really hungry.

  "People seem to be looking at me—-"

  My brows shot up. "Whoa there." I wagged a lecturing finger at Mary Priscilla. "Somebody certainly needs an ego check."

  "But—-"

  "You're way cuter than Sofia the First, I'll grant you that—-"

  "I don't even know who Sofia the First is!"

  "But I think you've forgotten one thing. You're a ghost, and so no one can actually—-"

  "Sssssh!"

  Chapter Five

  An old woman suddenly thrust her face between Mary Priscilla and me, and we stared at her in shock. She had her white hair neatly tied back, and she was dressed in a staid-looking blouse and a shapeless black skirt that fell all the way to her ankles. Just your regular grandmother walking down a street, really...as long as you discounted the fact that she was glaring at the brat and me like lecturing ghosts was part of her everyday routine.

  She nodded towards the temple gates, asking reproachfully, "Have you no manners? It is disrespectful to fight before the gods." She clucked her tongue at us and shook her head admonishingly. "You shall never be reincarnated if you persist with such rudeness."

  It was only when the old woman floated off with a loud harrumph that Mary Priscilla and I slowly turned to each other—-

  "Did that just happen?" I asked faintly.

  "I t-think so."

  Both of us looked around us again, and this time it was like seeing the whole town with new eyes.

  Ghosts, I thought incredulously. Everyone in this magical Chinatown was a ghost, and oh my God, wasn't that the coolest thing ever?

  I turned to Mary Priscilla, and one look at my face had the girl shaking her head like a crotchety granny stuck in a young girl's body.

  "Why are you looking like you think this is a good thing?" she wailed.

  "Because it is?"

  "Saoirse!"

  "Mary Priscilla!" I couldn't help mimicking her indignant tone even though I knew it was going to make me sound childish again. But it was honestly appalling, how utterly unenthusiastic the kid was about this place. A magical Chinatown, for heaven's sake! How could she not find that exciting?

  Times like this, it just made me wonder if we hadn't accidentally swapped souls, and I was meant to be the eight year old between us. "Don't you have even the tiniest sense of adventure? This is a ghost town—-"

  "You're kidding me, right?" Mary Priscilla floated up to stare into my eyes as if desperately needing to gauge my level of seriousness. "A town full of ghosts is not the definition of a ghost town—-"

  "Oh, pooh. Potato, po-tah-to—-"

  Mary Priscilla rolled her eyes. "That's not even how British people pronounce potato—-"

  "You're missing the point," I retorted, "and you know it. So won't you just lighten up a little?"

  "Aren't you even the slightest bit suspicious?" Mary Priscilla asked darkly. "An entire town popping out of nowhere, and that doesn't make you think something weird could be going on?"

  "I used to be a human being who could see ghosts," I reminded her tartly, "and I'm now a goddess. Is there anything about my life that's not weird?" I could see Mary Priscilla starting to waver, and I pounced on this, adding emphatically, "There's absolutely nothing to worry about, and you know it.

  This is a town full of ghosts, and since I'm LOTUS, none of them can hurt me."

  "I guess." Mary Priscilla's tone was grudging, and I didn't hesitate to pounce on this even more.

  "Five minutes then," I bargained. "We're not doing fifteen but just five minutes. Let's just take a quick look, and then we leave. Do we have a new deal?"

  Several moments passed, and then the eight-year-old ghost finally sighed like she was the mature adult between us. Quite insulting really, but since I did manage to get my way...

  Mary Priscilla and I started floating down the road, and it was rather delightful to have everyone nod and smile at us like being in a Chinatown full of ghosts was completely natural.

  When we turned to the next block, an even busier-looking night market greeted us, and it was then I spotted something shiny and sparkling.

  A silver coin seemed to be winking at me from the edge of the road, and I had a hard time taking my gaze off it. A part of me was just waiting for some other ghost to pick it up, but all the other specters simply glided and floated past like the shiny little thing was invisible.

  It was almost as if the coin was for me, and well...maybe it was?

  "Where are you going?" I heard Mary Priscilla ask from behind.

  "Stop acting like my nanny."

  "Then stop acting like a kid that needs a nanny."

  I kinda knew she'd say that, but...whatever. I continued floating towards the opposite side of the road, my gaze still glued to the shiny object that was just begging for me to possess it.

  "Where are you going?" the brat asked again as she caught up.

  "Just a moment..." I bent down, and as soon as my fingers came into contact with the coin's smooth, rounded surface, a strange sense of darkness seemed to swarm around me—-

  My gaze jerked up, but all I saw were the same lantern-strewn skies I had glimpsed earlier.

  Huh.

  It did seem like I had imagined things, but at the same time I couldn't shake off the feeling that I hadn't imagined anything at all.

  I showed Mary Priscilla my lucky little find. "It was practically begging me to pick it up—-"

  "Don't you think it looks a little too new?"

  I rolled my eyes. "Of course you would still find something to question about. It's just a coin—-" The left pocket of my dress suddenly started vibrating, and since it was my private ringtone for Hadrian playing out, I quickly got my phone out and answered the call. "Guess what?"

  "Listen, my love," Hadrian began at the same time.

  "There's this new Chinatown in Portland," I told him cheerfully.

  "I've just gotten a report about a new portal to another realm opening up—-"

  "And as if that's not exciting enough, I also spotted a silver coin—-"

  "These portals are only visible to those whose lives have been touched by magic, and it's best to play it safe and avoid them," Hadrian went on to caution.

  "So of course I picked it up, like duh."

  "If you make the mistake of touching any object that belongs to that realm—-"

  "Finders keepers, losers weepers—-"

  "You could end up trapped in another realm with no way back," Hadrian finished grimly at the same time.

  There was a second of silence, and it was then and only then did his words finally dawn on me.

  New realm...touch any object...trapped?

  "Saoirse?" The tightness of Hadrian's tone made me gulp.

  "Um...yeah?"

  "Please tell me what I'm
thinking is wrong, my love."

  I gulped again. "Well, um..."

  "Saoirse." Hadrian's voice was pained.

  "It was a really shiny coin," I said weakly. "But I guess I could always drop it back—-"

  "Don't—-" Hadrian seemed to say something else, but his voice had already started to fade, and I could barely hear a thing.

  "Hadrian? Hello?"

  With my phone still pressed against my ear, I turned to Mary Priscilla, intending to tell her we needed to leave, like a.s.a.f.p., but—-

  Shit.

  Mary Priscilla was also starting to fade right before my very eyes.

  Shiiiiiiit.

  And then she was gone, the world lost its color, and I was all on my own.

  Chapter Six

  It was like suddenly finding myself in Twilight Zone. Rod Serling's version, and not Jordan Peele's. Everything around me had become silent and empty. The crowds were gone, and with it so had all the colors. Everything here was black and white, and it was so unbelievably surreal, to look down at my hands and not see the actual color of my flesh.

  I felt more than a little panicky for a few seconds, and I had to give myself a quick pep talk to calm myself down.

  LOTUS.

  I had to remember I was LOTUS, and therefore I had little to be scared about.

  So start thinking about getting your ass out of trouble, Saoirse!

  I took another look around, but this time it wasn't merely my eyes doing the work. This time, I tried getting a feel of my surroundings the way Hadrian taught me, and all I could sense was...something familiar...and yet different.

  The bustling marketplace and temple gates from earlier were all gone. In its place were buildings left and right, and the more I walked, the more I realized what this place reminded me of.

  I had been able to visit Hong Kong a few times in my late twenties because of work, and this place definitely gave Hong Kong vibes.

  Or to be specific... Paranormal Hong Kong, thanks to the unusual-looking shadows that had started lurking in the corner of my eye.

  They were grayish in color and shapeless. But mobile. Like smog on the move. And where I went, so did they, and it was only after a few minutes of being stalked did comprehension finally dawn.

  While lost, mindless souls in my world eventually turned into orbs of light, in this world they apparently turned into that: shadows.

  Hadrian's last words suddenly played back in my mind, and I went absolutely still. He had mentioned something about a portal to another realm, and since the In-Between was a portal that connected the world above ground to Hell...

  Could the pop-up Chinatown from earlier have the same function as the In-Between?

  I felt my fingers uncurl at the thought, and I realized belatedly that I still had the blasted silver coin in my hand...and...

  Little Iron!

  I quickly dug into my dress's right pocket, and I trembled in relief when my fingers curved around something cold and solid.

  Oh, thank God!

  Little Iron was a magical partridge that came to life when fed with my blood. It was one of the rare few inventions of Perdix that existed to this day, and while most might only see it as an instrument for wielding power, to me Little Iron was so much more.

  "Wakey-wakey, sweetie..."

  I pressed my finger against the sharp tip of its beak, and Little Iron's metallic body turned warm against my flesh as it slowly came into life. After taking a nip of my blood, Little Iron spread its wings wide open and glanced up at me inquiringly.

  "Can you take me to the owner of this coin?"

  I brought the coin closer to my pet, and after taking a little sniff, Little Iron started hopping on my hand.

  "Pretty please?"

  I gave it another drop of my blood, but all Little Iron did was hop on my palm like it was training for a one-legged sack race.

  "Do you need more blood?" I asked uncertainly. "Is that it?"

  Little Iron shook its head.

  "Come on, pet..."

  Little Iron shook its wings, and it was almost like having a child of mine give me attitude.

  "Seriously?"

  The darn bird shook its wings again, and I wondered if perhaps even magical partridges also had to go through puberty, and that was why Little Iron was acting surprisingly uncooperative.

  "Okay then..." I gave it the evil eye, just in case there was a possibility for magical creatures made of iron to feel fear. Or shame. The way things were now, I wouldn't be above shaming Little Iron into helping me out.

  "How about we change the question?"

  Little Iron nodded its metallic head right away, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Not sure if this was a technical glitch or confirmation that Little Iron's rebellious phase had begun, but at least we were getting somewhere.

  I glanced back at Little Iron. Maybe my question was a little too specific earlier, and it had caused to Little Iron to feel pressured? I mean, Little Iron was just as trapped as I was, so maybe I should take it easy. Start with something a bit more general like...

  "Is there any other scent you can detect from this coin?"

  Little Iron quickly bobbed its head, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

  "Does the scent belong to someone or something that can help us go back to our world?"

  Another nod.

  "Then...take me there?"

  A MAHJONG PLACE.

  I had seen one like it when I watched Crazy Rich Asians, but other than being a place where Asian Americans could execute power moves over, well, crazy rich Asians...I hadn't a clue about how this places worked, and I certainly had no idea either why Little Iron believed this was our ticket out.

  But since Little Iron could never be wrong (or so it said according to Perdix's manual)—-

  In we go then.

  The mahjong place was a two-story building, with lots of doors and windows to let the evening breeze blow in for added ventilation. The place was also crawling with ghosts. Or maybe the correct term was flying, with everyone zipping this way and that as they cheered from one table to another. It was fascinating really, and I was already floating halfway towards a table labeled For Beginners when Little Iron suddenly squawking at my face brought me back to my senses.

  Oh, shit.

  I had almost forgotten we were here under duress, and we absolutely had no time to learn mahjong from ghosts.

  Nuh-uh.

  No time at all, Saoirse, so focus like a LOTUS, and ooh! That had quite the nice rhyme to it, and I made a mental note to tell Hadrian—-

  SQUAWK!

  Little Iron was making a racket right next to my ear now, and I threw my hands up in quick apology. "Okay, okay, I get it. I'm sorry I got distracted, I know we're running out of time, so yes, let's go to wherever—-hey!"

  Little Iron suddenly snatched the coin from my fingers before flying off at neck-breaking speed.

  Why was this bird in such a hurry?

  The question raced through my mind as I went after Little Iron, and by the time I finally managed to catch up, we had gone up a spiral staircase and raced down a long, dark hallway that eventually opened to a balcony.

  Everything around me was still black and white, and it was eerily fascinating and terrifying all at once. I couldn't even begin to imagine how it would feel to live a life that was entirely without color, and when I finally stepped out of the balcony and saw a monochromatic rainbow curved over the clouds—-

  Strange.

  This whole world was so impossibly strange—-

  Squawk!

  The sound made me jump, and I quickly turned towards its direction.

  Oh!

  The still-squawking metallic bird had perched itself on the shoulder of...

  Captain Li Shang?

  Hadrian would probably kill me for coming up with another human-and-cartoon comparison, but I sword to Gaea I wasn't being fanciful here. The dark-colored military uniform that Little Iron's new friend wore might be a lot more modern, but
everything else was incredibly similar. The long, slicked-back hair. The chiseled jaw. Even the way he was arching his brow at me right this very moment was very much like how Mulan's boyfriend did it, and—-

  "Come forward, woman. I am not going to harm you."

  The roughness of his tone was impressive (it was almost as sexy as Hadrian's!), and what was up with that lovely accent? I was getting even more Crazy Rich Asian vibes here, with his accented English reminding me of Henry Golding's Nick Young—-

  "Did you hear me, woman?"

  Shit.

  Maybe everyone was right, and I did get distracted rather easily.

  But since that was a problem to be solved on another time—-

  I forced myself to start walking. Since Little Iron's loyalty wasn't to be questioned, if my pet trusted him, then I figured I could, too. And besides, any guy who looked like a Disney hero should be trustworthy.

  Right?

  My steps slowed to a halt as I reached Mr. Soldier. "Um...hi." I had the craziest urge to snap my heels and give him a salute or something, but when Mr. Soldier's handsome face remained unsmiling—-

  Focus like a LOTUS, Saoirse!

  I cleared my throat and tried again. "So, that, um, bird...it's mine—-" I broke off when I saw his lips twitch the slightest bit, and I realized too late how my words could be totally read the wrong way.

  "Uh, what I mean is..."

  Mr. Soldier grunted, and the sound was so familiar that it gave me pause. I could've sworn I had heard that somewhere before, and...shit, I was getting distracted again.

  I gestured to Little Iron, and the magical partridge squawked in acknowledgment. "I was referring to him. That's Little Iron, and he's my, um, pet."

  "I understood the first time."

  Sure he did. He so sure did, but it still hadn't kept him from silently laughing at me, had it?