The Lost

by K. A Knight

  “Hey, Princess, couldn’t stay away, could you?” he teases and laughs, grabbing me into a hug before releasing me when Jago growls. Yep, awkward.

  “Er, woman, orders,” I sputter, and push past them, leaving them all staring at me as I rush after the woman, anything to get away from the awkward tension before they all kill each other.

  I weave through the impromptu camp they have set up, where more big men in leather, covered in scars, tattoos, and weapons, watch as I move through their midst and into the tent where the woman and the scarred man just ducked into. I follow and stop at the doorway as Jago, Archel, Evan, and a few others file in behind me.

  I let them move past me and then gaze around, as the scarred man sprawls on the bed on the floor to the left, his eyes half shut like he couldn’t give a fuck if we are here or not. His lean, muscled body stretches like a purring cat’s. Evan moves past me to stand near the woman, which sends a pang of pain through me, but I hide it, avoiding his gaze, which hasn’t left me.

  Archel moves to my right, so close I can feel his arm brushing mine as Jago stands to my left, staring down everything and everyone.

  “Feeling needy, assassin? Why don’t I let your girl know how you lost to me last night?” the woman calls, and I glance between them, more pain flowing through my veins—wait, is this why he left? To go to her?

  I’m so confused. Who is she? Is she wanting Evan or Archel or the scarred man? Archel laughs and I move away from him slightly, the pain constant though I don’t let it show. “I’m calling a rematch once the whole war thing is out of the way,” he fires back, waving his hand.

  War thing?

  What the fuck have I missed? I’ve had enough of this, so I cross my arms and stare at them all, trying to imitate them and look as scary as Jago. “Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on?” Looking at the woman, since she is clearly in charge here, and I wait, knowing if I’m to get any answers, they will be from her.

  “I’m Worth,” she says instead.

  “Berserker Queen,” a big guy adds from the floor.

  “The Champion of the Wastes,” a good-looking man inserts.

  “Soulmate!” the scarred man interjects with a smirk, making the woman roll her eyes. Damn, this woman has a lot of names, think I could get some like that?

  Piper, the kicker of asses.

  Piper, sexy fun bags, lover of men, killer of assholes?

  I’ll keep working on it for sure, ‘cause that group of names is awesome.

  “Or just Worth, ignore them,” she replies, her face softening as she looks around at the gathered men.

  I really don’t know whether to be turned on or scared by this woman…it’s very confusing to my body, which wants to run and also throw myself at her to learn her ways.

  “More like pain in the ass,” Evan mumbles, so I look at him and he swallows hard, his eyes telling me things I can’t handle right now. But hearing him call her that, it shows he cares about her.

  “Why don’t you tell us why you are here?” Worth demands, drawing my gaze once more to her, breaking Evan’s and my staring contest.

  “Why don’t you?” Jago counters, sounding fierce, prowling closer to me. He doesn’t like strangers, being unprepared, and not knowing what is happening, but he doesn’t move too far away, making me smile.

  Worth takes him in with a quirk of her lips, like she knows something I don’t. “I’m not your enemy. My father used to run Paradise. I met him this last year, but I didn’t even know he was alive. I was heading back here after…a pit stop, shall we say, to get some information. While we were here, however, they were attacked.” She rubs her head then, the only sign of weakness I have seen from her, and then crosses her arms. “We helped protect it. Now, the guards and captain are locked down there, sweeping the place for explosives and survivors. Why are you here?”

  Captain.

  The name sends a shiver of fear and pain through me, but I try to mask it, not wanting to give away how much one word can hurt me and knock me back down. I look to Archel, asking if I should trust her, and he nods, so I blow out a breath.

  “A messenger came, told me Paradise was attacked, it was gone, so we came straightaway. I wanted to make sure…you were okay,” I finish, looking to Evan.

  “Came to where?” Worth asks. Damn, she is good.

  I don’t answer, I won’t betray the people who took me in when I had no one else. Even if Archel trusts her, I don’t know her well enough.

  “We are going to have to trust each other. Like it or not, there are bigger threats out here than me right now. I trust Archel and even Evan, and they are vouching for you, so you should extend the same courtesy. We are not enemies. In fact, I think we might just be allies right now,” she tells me, her eyes serious. I catch on the ‘right now’ part. I knew she was deadly, but is this what Archel was talking about? War? Is that why they were here? Is that why Paradise was attacked?

  “What clan?” Jago questions.

  “Was a slave for a while to Berserkers, then a fighter at The Ring, then a bounty hunter. I recently killed Ivar the Mad and took his throne, so I now rule the Berserkers and have peace ties with all clans. Which clan?” she fires back, holy shit. She’s a queen? Of those animals Archel told me about? No wonder she is scary as hell, but I feel a kinship, I saw the pain flash in her eyes at the word ‘slave’…a woman recognises that in another. She has been through the same as me, and a lot more, yet she is still here. I can respect that.

  “None, not yet,” he answers.

  “This is getting us nowhere. I have information, you have information, we need to work together.” Worth shrugs. “Otherwise, feel free to leave, we have shit to deal with and a war to win.”

  “I’ve heard that twice now. What war?” I inquire, excitement coursing through me as well as worry. Worth looks at Archel with a smile and he returns it, a message passing between them.

  “Huh, picked a fighter, did you? Can she kick your ass or do I need to teach her?” She laughs and I like her even more then.

  He groans. “Fuck no, don’t teach her your dirty tricks.” Damn, if she took down Archel, she has more than my fucking respect, that man is unstoppable.

  “What donkey dick war?” I ask louder, since they are ignoring me, and Jago groans.

  “Really, Brawler, donkey dick?” he questions.

  Worth gets serious then, giving me a considering look. “The Cities came north, took some of our people, and they want Paradise. I plan to stop them, want to join?” she queries, and I blink at the blunt question, but the answer is obvious. War, protecting people…that sounds like one hell of an adventure.

  “Shit, yeah.” I nod, ignoring Jago who groans and Archel who laughs.

  “Why don’t we discuss exactly what is happening?” Worth suggests, as she leans back against the scarred man, using him as a chair. The tension is broken with one move, so I drop myself to the floor and cross my legs and face Worth.

  “I was from Paradise,” I start, knowing I need to share to earn her trust and get the same back, but even that hurts me, so I close my eyes for a moment and gather my strength.

  “Piper,” she calls, and I look up at her, my eyes no doubt swimming with the pain I can’t seem to hide. “Everything you have been through, I can tell you I have been through the same. You aren’t a slave for years without seeing the worst of the world. My body is covered in scars, brands, their torture, and pain. Ivar, the king I killed, was my master. I was his favourite, and he tried for years to break me again and again. He raped me, his men raped me.” The man behind her flinches, and Jago growls as Archel steps closer to me, both of them knowing what that word will do to me. Strange that one word can be so hurtful, so fucking devastating even after surviving the act. “They tortured me, they killed the boy I loved, they killed the man I loved, and they took me from my family. I don’t say this to diminish your pain, I say it to be frank. Whatever happened, here, there is no judgement. How could there be when most of us have been
through the same? You were from Paradise, correct? Evan told me you disappeared, that he was told you were dead, but he searched anyway. What happened? You do not have to share everything,” she adds, smiling at me with understanding.

  I sit up straighter, her pain calling to mine, echoing my own ghosts and past and I know, whatever this woman faces, wherever she goes…I would follow her. She told me her pain, her story, so the least I can offer her is mine. I stare at no one but her as I open my mouth.

  “I was usually on patrol with Jago, they changed that, and on patrol that night they attacked, raped, and tried to kill me. Ferals got to them, and Archel saved me. He took me to a place, The Forgotten, and the people there were once from Paradise as well. They learned of the corruption and left.”

  “Who, what corruption?” she asks, leaning forward, my words catching her attention.

  I suck in a breath. If she is asking, it’s important, and saying the words do not give them power. They can’t do anything else to me they haven’t already. “The captain, he ordered it, he warned me. The people, my people, told me this was done often, nearly all the time, and anyone digging too deeply was killed. Paradise, it’s corrupt, you said the captain is here? Let me be the one to kill him,” I beg, the idea coming out of nowhere, but when I say it out loud it settles inside me and I know, I know it’s what I need to do, I know it’s one of the reasons I came here without even realising it.

  “He’s yours,” she agrees instantly. “Sands below, I knew something was off here.” The scarred man reaches out and rubs her back, and she leans into him more, seeking comfort without even realising it. “Okay, you know anything about the Cities?”

  I shake my head. I have never heard anything about them until a couple of minutes ago, but then Jago interrupts, shocking me. “I do.”

  Worth narrows her eyes on him. “Tell me,” she demands, making him growl, so I lay a hand on his arm, calming him.

  “I trust her, Jago, and I trust Archel and Evan,” I assure him, looking into those fire eyes. He sighs, curling his hand around mine, and looks back at Worth.

  “I’ve been there once, was sent to map it,” he admits, and I stare at him in shock. Why didn’t he ever tell me this? If I know him, it’s probably because he thought it wasn’t important enough to, not that he was hiding it from me.

  “Let us start from the beginning. Bern, grab us some water and food and get Erik and my father,” she orders, as the big guy lumbers from the tent on her command.

  I swing my head back to her. What a woman. I can’t help it, my mouth opens. “Will you marry me?” I blurt, and she just stares at me in shock. I don’t think many people shock her. “Sorry, but damn, that whole power, in control thing is hot as hell.” I shrug as I smile at her.

  “When she’s marrying anyone, it’s me,” the scarred man behind her pipes up, and Worth turns to him with a glare. “What? I said when,” he teases.

  “Does that mean I get to be best man?” Archel asks, and I blink as it clicks into place. That man must be his best friend, the one he told me about…Drat? Dax? Dray! That’s it. Gotta admit that makes me feel better…but I still have to know, so when Worth looks at me, I wince.

  “Sorry, awkward, so I gotta know. Girl to girl, you slept with him?” I jerk my head at Archel. It won’t change anything…really. I don’t know who I would be jealous of, him or her. Jago jerks under my touch, but I don’t look at him.

  She laughs, it tumbles out of her. “I like my heart in my chest, not on his knife, thank you.”

  “Plus, I’d kill him,” Dray adds.

  I nod, grateful. “Okay, what about Evan?” I might as well ask about them all, but I don’t look at him, not wanting to see his reaction.

  “Nope, sorry, not my type.” She grins at me and I return it.

  “Huh, figured. You like the big warrior kind, right? I bet they throw you around and you get all kinky—sorry, I’ll stop now.” I roll my lips to physically stop myself from talking as she just blinks at me, the awkward silence stretching on as I try not to break it, but nope, no can do.

  “I like what you’ve done with the place, very minimalistic,” I comment, looking around the tent.

  Just then the tent flap opens behind me as the big guy from before pushes in, followed by a few others. “Let’s get started, shall we?” she suggests, clearly wanting to move on from my awkward questions and rambling. “Jago, tell us everything.”

  I feel him bristle at the command, but I tighten my hand and he starts to talk. “I was born out here, came to Paradise as a kid, and when I made guard, they wanted maps of everything. I prefer it out here, so I volunteered. One day, they said they knew of a city down south, they wanted it mapped just in case, so I snuck in…” I listen closely, adding it to what I already know of Jago. Sometimes, I feel like I know nothing, sometimes I feel like I know more than anyone. He holds my hand the entire time, and as the discussion goes on, I lean into him, tired from the drive and last few days as I listen.

  After a few hours, I think everyone is overloaded, so we decide to take a break. When Worth announces it, though, she rushes out of the tent with her men, leaving Jago, Evan, Archel, and me…

  Oh shit, this should be fun…Dr. Phil, anyone?

  “Sooo…circle time, anyone?” I inquire, sitting up from Jago as all eyes go to me. “We go around and introduce ourselves, names…sexual kinks…no…” I trail off. “Awkward,” I mutter, making Archel laugh and even Evan’s lips twitch.

  “Princess.” Archel shakes his head. “I can’t believe you are here, thought you were waiting back home.”

  “I got tired of waiting.” I grin. “No one to spar with, plus I needed to know, Trev understood.”

  “Pip,” Evan starts but stops, licking his lips, looking between us and then sighing. “I’m glad you’re alive.”

  I sag at that, disappointed that’s all he had to say. “Yeah, you too.” I nod as Jago wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer, knowing how hard this must be for me and offering me comfort. Archel watches the movement with sharp eyes, narrowing them slightly as he strokes a knife at his side. I warn him with my gaze not to start anything.

  How do you broach the subject that you have a boyfriend…with your…Archel?

  It goes quiet again and Jago drops a kiss on my head, his every movement watched by both Evan and Archel. “I’m going to grab us some drinks, why don’t you all catch up?” he tells me, and gets to his feet, waiting for me to nod before he leaves.

  One man down, two to go.

  Archel glances between us and then back to me. “I’m going to…go,” he offers, stopping before me and crouching down. “Catch you in a bit, Princess,” he murmurs with a wink, and then lowers his voice. “Are you okay if I leave?”

  I lick my lips, feeling nervous, but this conversation needs to happen. “Yeah, see you in a bit?” I ask, needing to talk to him alone as well.

  “Don’t worry, Princess, I’m not going anywhere without you again.” He grins and leans closer, his back blocking us from Evan as he drops a kiss on my lips, wearing a grin as he leans back. “Wanted to do that since I saw you ride in. Go easy on him, he’s missed you like crazy.”

  I nod and he stands, looking back over at Evan. “Be gentle with her, she has been through hell and back just to be here today. You fuck that up, you be a bastard to her, and I will slit your throat in your sleep,” he warns, and then slides from the tent, whistling to himself, leaving me alone with Evan.

  We just stare at each other, both not knowing what to say. There’s too much history…too many bad words and fights between us. But I was given another chance at life, even if we are never as close as we once were, we deserve to give us a chance. We were family before, best friends, and if I’ve learned anything from my suffering, it’s that you can lose someone in an instant, life isn’t guaranteed.

  “Evvie—”

  “Pip.”

  We say at the same time and then laugh, the tension broken. He strides closer an
d drops to his knees before me, like he can’t stand to be farther away anymore, like he needs to see I’m here for himself, I’m alive. I feel the same way, even after everything, I still love this man.

  My heart pounds and tears fill my eyes, I see them reflected back in his.

  “I’m so sorry, Pip, for everything. God, I was such an asshole. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m asking for it. I realised when you left, when you disappeared, that all that mattered was you. The rules, my life, being a doctor. I did everything for you, and without you…it was worthless. I should have supported you, I should have been there, but I was so scared, Pip.” He sniffs, tears rolling down his cheeks. “So scared that you would get hurt and then…you were good, really good, and I saw you pulling away, saw you with him and it hurt. It hurt so fucking much, the idea you could replace me…it’s always been my deepest fears. I always knew you were amazing, Piper, and would do great things, and I was terrified you would outgrow me and leave me behind.”

  Tears roll down my face then, unchecked. “Eva—”

  “But that isn’t an excuse, my fears shouldn’t have come out in such a vile way. It wasn’t your fault, you aren’t to blame for my anger or darkest secrets. I shouldn’t have taken them out on you. You aren’t responsible for my emotions, I am, and I was stupid. I should have fought harder for you…for us, Pip, and I will regret it every day for as long as I live, which to be honest, might not be long with this war thing.”

  He laughs and I laugh too, the sound choked and tear filled.

  “I know we can’t go back to the way we used to be, and that’s okay, but if you’ll let me, I’d love to get to know the new you, to be part of your life in whatever way you’ll let me. I’ll try to control my asshole tendencies and not throw my shit all over you.”

  I wipe my face and he laughs, helping me, brushing away my tears. “That’s all I ever wanted to hear…I’d like that. As long as you haven’t gotten boring, then I’m afraid you’re screwed.”

  “I’m sure you will ensure I’m not.” He grins, wiping his face on his arm. “God, I missed you, Pip, so fucking much, I didn’t even know it was possible to miss someone this much,” he sobs, ugly crying now. As he smashes his fist into his heart, he continues, “You took this when you left. I didn’t even know it was yours, but it is, it always has been. I’m not asking you to give me yours back…I’ve seen you with him and that’s okay, I’ll be happy for you if you’re happy, if he’s what you want. I just needed you to know.”