Camp Nerd: Walker Hills #1

by Bella Jewel

  He moves up my body, reaching over me into his drawer to pull out a condom. I watch with hooded eyes and an aching body as he slides it on his very thick, very hard cock. I know that’s going to hurt, and yet I want it. I want it so badly I don’t really care about the pain that is coming my way. He positions himself overtop of me, his eyes meeting mine. “You hurt too much, you tell me to stop. I’ll stop.”

  I nod, biting my lip as he gently nudges me.

  Oh god. This is going to hurt more than I anticipated, I just know it.

  He nudges again, this time pushing in just a bit.

  Fire. Fire of a thousand suns explodes between my legs. Anyone that tells you the first time is this incredible sensation and you cum over and over again, is a big fat liar. The stretching, burning pain that fills my body as he pushes deeper makes me want to squirm right out from underneath him and run away. If this is how sex feels, I don’t want it. No thank you.

  Noticing my tension, Rhett pauses and looks down at me. “You’re hurtin’, I can see it on your face. I’ll stop.”

  “No,” I croak. “I don’t want you to stop, I just need a second.”

  He leans down and presses his lips to mine, kissing me until I forget the pain. I reach down, digging my nails into his ass and pulling him in just a touch deeper. It hurts and I know I’m going to be sore tomorrow, but I just need him to do this. I need him to break through this pain so I can go back to enjoying everything he’s offering. I pull harder, forcing him to push in until he’s fully sheathed.

  I wince and close my eyes, holding him right there for a minute.

  “You could have been a touch smaller for this moment,” I say, opening my eyes and looking up at him.

  He grins. “Sorry.”

  I smile and he leans down, kissing me again.

  Then he slowly starts to move, pulling himself out just a little and pushing back in. It feels like sandpaper has been shoved into my vagina and is currently being scrubbed around in there, but I expected nothing less. One thing I know for certain is that when I’m writing sex scenes in my books, there is no way in hell the virgin heroine is going to be cumming all over the place on her first time.

  Still, even though it hurts, having him this close, having his mouth on mine, his hands on me, his big body moving over mine, I can’t say I’m not enjoying it. To be this connected with someone is pretty damned special and with every thrust, the pain lessens just a little. I close my eyes, letting my hands run all over his body as his pace becomes more frantic. His growls intensify, and I feel the clench deep in my body that tells me the next time, when this pain is gone, I’m going to love every second of this with him.

  Our lips lock and he kisses me deep until his body shudders and he growls out as he finds his release.

  It’s the best damned thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.

  Hands down.

  I’m up for round two, three, one hundred ...

  “ARE YOU HURTIN’?” RHETT asks later that night after we’ve cleaned up and we’re both lying in his bed.

  “I’m a bit tender, but I expected as much. Was it ... was it okay for you?”

  He rolls to his side, propping himself up with his elbow. “Baby, that was the best fuckin’ feeling of my life.”

  I know my cheeks grow rosy at his comment, because he reaches out, running his thumb over them. “You blush a lot.”

  “I can’t say I’ve ever had a man quite as charming as you. You sure know how to make a girl fidget.”

  He grins. “You wait until I get you to scream my name, that blush will be a permanent fixture on your face.”

  I can’t wait.

  “While you’re in a super good mood, can I talk to you about something?”

  Seems like an okay time to tell him that I saw him and the guys the other night. If he’s going to get angry at me, at least it’s after we had that incredible moment. I hope he won’t, I hope Gabby is right, but I’m still nervous.

  “Yeah, shoot.”

  I swallow and glancing down at the gap between us, too scared to meet his eyes incase he does get upset with me.

  “The other night, when you found me at the barn and you helped me because I was drunk ... I wasn’t in the barn the whole time. I came to the house to see you and ...”

  “Fuck me.”

  He cuts me off with those two grunted words. I look up at him.

  “I’m sorry I lied to you, I was scared, and I wasn’t sure what to do or say. Then everything happened with Taj and I just didn’t find the time to talk to you about it.”

  “I’ll make this as brief as I can, because I can’t discuss this with you, but that man wasn’t a good man and we deal with people who aren’t so good sometimes. Not sayin’ it’s right, just sayin’ that we have other business on the side. We don’t hurt good people. That’s what you need to know.”

  “I believe you, I know you’re not bad guys. I only wanted to tell you I saw it for two reasons, the first is I wanted to make sure Taj hadn’t seen the same thing ...”

  He opens his mouth, but I put my hand up.

  “Before you blast me, I know you’re going to say you’d never hurt someone like Taj and I believe you, I’m just saying, it was a question I had briefly and it is no longer.”

  He nods sharply.

  He doesn’t like that I considered them in Taj’s death, but I guess he has to understand why I did.

  “The other reason is I don’t want to see this place you’ve created go down the toilet. I think if you’re going to do, ah, business like that then you need to find somewhere safe to do it that your guests can’t see.”

  He studies me, then reaches out and runs his thumb over my lip. “You’re a smart girl, Lei. Anyone would think you care about what happens to me here.”

  I roll my eyes, giving him a small smile. “Of course I care.”

  “Noted. I’ll find a place to take our business away from the ranch.”

  I nod, then bite my lip.

  “Say it,” he murmurs.

  “Is it safe ... what you do on the side?”

  “No,” he answers, honestly, “but we’re smart.”

  “Is it worth losing what you’ve created here?”

  His expression darkens a bit. “What I’ve created here is something I’ll protect with all I am, but what I do on the side is part of who I am, too. It’s what I do. I won’t let it touch my work here.”

  “Okay,” I say.

  It’s not up to me to tell him what he can and can’t do. He’s a smart man.

  “My turn for a question.”

  I scrunch up my nose, but nod.

  “You don’t think Taj was accidentally killed I know that, but why?”

  “I don’t know, it’s just a really strong gut feeling. I’m not sure what it is, but something is telling me that he was murdered. I just don’t know by who, or why.”

  “Got any guesses on who?”

  I shrug. “A few in our group have had small run-ins with Taj, but I can’t see any of them hurting him. I just feel like I’m missing something, but I don’t know what.”

  “Want some advice?”

  I pout. “If you’re going to tell me to leave it alone, don’t bother. I don’t do as I’m told and I’m going to look into it, even if you don’t want me to.”

  He grins. “Good thing that isn’t what I was goin’ to say.”

  “Fine, you may speak.”

  He keeps the grin. “All I was goin’ to tell you is, go back to the start. Right back to where you can remember and think of everything, every little thing, every fight, every disagreement, every problem. You might just find you’ll remember something and it’ll put you on the right path.”

  That’s a good idea.

  I hadn’t thought to do that.

  “You know, for a man who rides horses and walks around looking sexy all day, you’re pretty smart.”

  He grunts and reaches for me, pulling me up and over him. I land with my knees either side of his
hips. I grin down.

  “You know, for a woman with such a big mouth, you’re pretty sexy.”

  “Why thank you.”

  “Shut up and ride me, woman.”

  Oh boy.

  “Yes, sir.”

  Let round two begin.

  15

  “You need to tell me everything. Every juicy detail. Was it big? Was it painful? How did you do it? What position? God, I need all of it.”

  I lift my sunglasses and glance at Kara, who is lying next to me. We’re sunbathing at the lake before we go and go for a hike this afternoon. It is the first day things feel a little less tense around here. That doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about Taj, he’s on my mind all day, and I very much plan to go back to the barn when we’re done later and see if I can find something that was missed.

  In the meantime, I tell Kara everything.

  She squeals with delight when I’m done.

  “Seriously, that is so hot. I wish that was me, my god. I’m in such desperate need of a night like that. Will there be more? Is this a thing? Or is it just like a camp romance?”

  I shrug. I hadn’t really thought about that. About what happens when the camp retreat is done and it’s time to go home. After all, I live a good six hours away; there is no way we could make it work. A little disappointment floods my chest. Is this something strong enough that we’d keep going with it, or will it end when the bus takes us out of here?

  “Sorry, that was an insensitive question,” Kara quickly rectifies. “I shouldn’t have asked that.”

  I wave a hand. “Don’t be sorry, I’m sure it’s fine.”

  “Hi ladies.”

  I glance up to see Emily and Grace coming over with their towels. They’ve both been pretty quiet, in fact we all have. Lake and Madden took Rick out on some hunting adventure, I guess he needed a break from everything. I can’t blame him, it would be tough suddenly having both the men you were staying with go, one to heaven and the other home.

  Thinking about Taj makes my stomach knot up.

  I can’t help but feel guilty for staying here.

  Should we have gone home?

  “Hi,” I say, watching as they lay their towels down.

  We all sunbathe and chat until voices alert me that someone is coming down toward us. I look over to see Rhett walking down with Enzo and Elias. They looked pissed off. I mean major pissed off. I sit up and turn, facing them. Rhett has something in his hand, and as he nears, I see it’s a newspaper.

  “Who reported this?” he barks, tossing the paper at us.

  I pick it up, confused, and glance down at the article.

  Oh boy.

  “Death at the Ranch” is all I can see in big, bold letters. I don’t need to read the article to know it’s about Taj’s death. Someone leaked it to the press, and whoever it was could potentially ruin everything they’ve got going on here.

  “I didn’t report this, did any of you?” I ask the girls.

  They all shake their heads. “No, of course not,” Emily murmurs. “Why would we?”

  “I swear to fuc—” Rhett begins, but cuts himself off and clamps his mouth shut, his jaw tightening.

  “We’re not that heartless,” I snap. “The fact that you think we’d do something like that is pretty offensive.”

  “Someone reported this, I need to know who.”

  “Taj’s family? Ever think of that?” Kara mutters, clearly pissed about the accusation.

  Rhett seems to visibly calm down. “Sorry, I’m just fuckin’ ... This could ruin everything I’ve worked for here.”

  I can’t help but feel bad, yet again.

  “I’ll find out who did it, boss,” Enzo mutters, his eyes scanning over us. “If this place gets shut down ...”

  “Look, if you’ve got something to say,” Kara fires up. “Then say it. We’re your guests, and you should have a little respect.”

  Enzo glares at her.

  “Enough,” Rhett barks. “I can’t handle much more of this shit. I’m goin’ to see Gabriella. I’ll be back later. Enzo will handle the hike.”

  He turns to walk off.

  “Rhett,” I call, jumping to my feet and following him.

  He pauses, looking down at me, his face full of anger and rage. “Not now, Lei.”

  “I’m sorry someone did this, but it wasn’t us. I know you’re mad, you’re worried about the ranch, but it was a mistake.”

  “This is my life, do you understand that?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Then let me fuckin’ go.”

  It feels like a slap to the face.

  I look up at him, hurt.

  He looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t.

  Instead, he walks away.

  Kara’s question runs through my head, yet again.

  Maybe this isn’t what I think it is.

  Maybe ... maybe it will end when we leave.

  That thought kills me.

  More than he’ll ever know.

  16

  I sit on it, I really do. For what seems like hours, I sit on Rhett’s bad mood. His comment. The way he spoke to me. I know I should leave it alone, after all there are a million reasons he is feeling the way he is, but Kara’s words play in my head over and over again. What is this after the retreat? Part of me needs to know that answer, now more than ever and I know I shouldn’t go and find him, but, alas, that’s exactly what I do.

  I locate Ranch first, he’s in the barn washing horses. When I go in, the old man turns and looks at me, those kind eyes scanning, learning, before he finally gives me a smile. It’s a warm smile, a comforting smile. “What can I help you with, darlin’?”

  “I was just looking for Rhett.”

  “He’s otherwise occupied right now, can I do something for you?”

  I exhale and lean against a stall.

  “You look like you have something on your mind, care to tell me what it is?”

  I glance at him, and then shrug my shoulders. “I feel horrible about what happened out here. Rhett didn’t deserve his first retreat to go down like this. For the media to be crawling all over it. For it to make him look bad. That’s on us. On me.”

  Ranch ponders that for a moment, and then puts a hand up on the horses back and rubs it down, flicking water off. “Let me ask you something. This horse right here, strong and powerful, it goes out there everyday knowing there could be something waiting. It isn’t because it’s scared, it’s instinct. It knows there are a million things that could hurt it, yet it goes out there anyway. Every single day, it grazes as if it has not a care in the world, but I’m here to tell you it does, it’s always watching, always fearful.”

  I listen, intently. A man like Ranch, he talks because he has something to say, otherwise he doesn’t. So, I know he’s going somewhere with this.

  “A man like Rhett, he’s the same. The way he was raised, the way his daddy treated him, he walked out the door every day not knowing what was going to happen to him, was it a good or bad day, would he get beaten or fed. He watched his momma die, found her body and that lives in his mind every single day of his life. He created this retreat, knowin’ that every day he’d walk out there not knowin’ what could happen. But he did it anyway. He did it because he knows that, even if the worse happens, he is still going to risk it. You have to trust that he’ll pull through this, he just needs time to do so.”

  God damn.

  A few things in that paragraph struck me just now. The first being that Rhett found his mom, nobody ever reported that and he certainly never told me that, so it comes as a shock. My heart aches, but it makes a lot of things so much clearer. The other thing that stands out, is the fact that what Ranch is saying makes so much sense.

  “I understand,” I say. “I just hate knowing it was because of us that it happened.”

  “It could have been anything, at any time. You create a place like this, you’re risking something happening and the media going crazy on it. The thing abo
ut the media is, they’ll forget it about it in a few days and move on.”

  “What if nobody wants to come here again, knowing someone died?”

  “Or,” Ranch says, turning back towards the horse, “maybe they’ll want to come here even more.”

  Well then.

  He has left me lost for words once again.

  “Thank you,” I say, smiling even though he can’t see it.

  “Welcome, darlin’.”

  I leave the barn and walk in the direction of my cabin but get sidetracked when I see the path that leads to the barn. I haven’t yet gone there to look around further, but curiosity has me turning and going in that general direction.

  I know I shouldn’t, it’ll probably make things worse, but I also know if I don’t make sure I’ve turned over every rock, I’ll never forgive myself. Taj deserves to have justice, if someone hurt him. His family deserve that. I have no doubt they reported his death, why wouldn’t they? Their son came on a retreat and died. Even though they think it was an accident, it looks horrible for Walker Hills. All of it is just a big mess.

  I reach the barn and hesitate, staring at it and its run-down ruins. God, one thing is for sure, I don’t want to go anywhere near it, but I know I have to. Rhett is planning to knock it down and clear it away in the coming days. If there is something in there, something that could help, I need to know what it is. I take a deep breath and duck under the police tape that is still surrounding it and go inside.

  I’m sure they’ve already looked through everything in here, but if they thought it was only an accident, they might have just as easily missed something.

  The second I step in, my chest tightens with a weary feeling. I don’t know how the guys came in here at night, I would have peed my pants stepping into this place when it was dark. I pull out my phone and turn on the flashlight, even though it’s daylight out, it’s quite dark in the barn. I flash it around, and for a minute, I just stop.

  I stop and take it all in.