An Elegy of Heroes

by K. S. Villoso

  “Ailat’s the one building a village down in the valley,” Kefier replied, ignoring the compliment.

  Enosh lifted an eyebrow. “Your wife Ailat?”

  “Your Ailat,” Kefier said. “You know she was never mine.”

  “Ah,” Enosh said. He scratched his chin. “You could have her, if you want,” he ventured.

  “You’re horrible, you know that?”

  “So I’ve been told. How is she?”

  “You could go down and check on her yourself. The village is half a day’s walk from here.”

  “Somehow, I feel like you’re baiting me.”

  They reached the dining hall. A woman was bent over a map. She didn’t see them enter. Enosh crossed the length of the room to place a hand on her shoulder. As she looked up, he bent over to kiss her.

  Kefier felt his whole body grow numb.

  The part of him that was still basking in the warm glow of the knowledge that Rosha was not dead after all told him to grin and bear it. This was nothing to the pain of the last few days. What he was feeling right now was vastly preferable to what could have been. Rosha was alive. The rest of the world could go to hell.

  But Sume now turned to him for the first time and the way her face lit up at the sight of him struck him speechless. It was almost a good thing that it only lasted a moment, because he wouldn’t have known how to react otherwise. Her face quickly changed into that all-too familiar mask she used whenever she didn’t want to argue.

  “Are you here as a friend or as an enemy?” she asked. The cold note in her voice struck a tremor in his heart.

  “Rosha is alive and safe with us,” he said, the exhaustion heavy in his own voice. He pulled a chair from the furthest corner of the dining table and slumped into it. “Do with me what you will.”

  She and Enosh exchanged glances. “You sent assassins after us,” Sume said. “Boarshind soldiers tried to kill us in Sutan.”

  “I never gave such orders,” Kefier replied. “I wouldn’t do that to you. Or you,” he added, looking at Enosh, “even though I was tempted to.”

  She swallowed. She looked like she wanted to believe him. “So you’re not working with Yn Garr anymore?”

  “That man…” Kefier started. He gave a short burst of laughter and reached for a jug of wine from the table. He uncorked it and took a whole mouthful before continuing. “He slew the Hafed king several days ago. The morning before I left, he had the Hafod lords at his feet, proclaiming him king. Did you know he was Agartes Allaicras?” he added, turning to Enosh.

  Enosh looked surprised. “I didn’t. Agartes has been dead for years.”

  “He was using the agan to keep him alive.”

  Enosh drew a deep breath. “It’s possible. Maybe. Jarche could have this power.” He looked down, and under his breath, murmured, “Makes a lot of sense if it was true. The man always was a little off.” He took the chair beside Sume and folded his hands over the table. There was a faraway look in his eyes.

  “Jarche never told you, did she?”

  “She kept up the matronly act well, but that woman was as full of shit as I was,” Enosh snorted.

  Sume cleared her throat. “That’s not fair.”

  “Oh, come on. I’m just saying that at least I don’t pretend otherwise.” He tapped the table impatiently. “Agartes Allaicras. Who could have thought? Even if there were signs, it’s not something that would cross your mind. He had more money than anyone in the Kag had the right to, but we chalked that up to smart business dealings and extraordinary insight.”

  “Agartes Allaicras lost his children to the Dageians,” Sume said. “Was this why he was so interested in taking care of you, and Rosha, and Arn? I got that impression from Jarche.”

  “He was hardly fatherly,” Enosh snorted. Kefier frowned. Enosh must’ve noticed it, because he turned to him. “You disagree?”

  “I don’t know,” Kefier said. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to think anymore.”

  “You need to rest,” Sume said in a soft voice.

  Kefier didn’t look at her. He took another drink of wine. “That’s what I’m doing,” he replied, after wiping his mouth.

  “They’re marching north now to take Lon Basden, aren’t they?”

  Kefier nodded.

  Enosh grinned. “Dageis didn’t see this coming. I wonder what Daro will have to say about all of this.”

  Kefier glanced at him. “He’s here?”

  “Upstairs in a room, taking care of Mahe. She’s got a fever—an infection. Ishir tells me she miscarried their child a few days ago. She saved Rosha, you know? She was Tribune of the cohort that defended Fort Oras.”

  “I’ll be damned,” Kefier murmured. He set the wine down in front of him. “So where do we go from here?”

  “Jarche’s in Eheldeth’s custody now,” Enosh said. “I think the first order of business is to figure out how to stop the old man from carrying out his plans. Because all of it will involve Rosha at some point, and I believe making another child is out of the question.”

  Kefier and Sume glowered at him. Enosh gave a weak chuckle. “I’m trying to lighten the mood,” he said. “Gods, you two…”

  “Can I stab him?” Kefier asked. “I’ll try to keep parts of him intact.”

  “If you don’t, I will,” Sume murmured.

  “So humour is not your strongest suit,” Enosh said. “Let’s try this again. We all need to go back to Eheldeth, because seeing how well those mages throw their fireballs around makes me feel a lot better about Giggles’ impending rampage. Or—and I’m just throwing this out there, in case you’re both considering alternatives—we can go, I don’t know, to Forrehs? They’ve got folks with skin whiter than Baidhans. Leave all of this behind us and let’s start anew.”

  “The beast can start chasing Rosha in her dreams again,” Sume said. “Eheldeth makes the most sense.”

  “A sensible point, my dear,” Enosh said, looking like he didn’t agree. “When Daro is able, I can discuss arrangements with him. Unless you were able to use some of my funds to make a ship somewhere, Kefier?”

  “No, it all went to this house,” Kefier said. “And a bait and tackle business that went under,” he added. “And a dog. A really expensive dog.”

  “I’m going to try not to get too angry, because it would all be with that bloody bitch Reema if you didn’t withdraw it yourself. Does err, that dog shit gold, by any chance?”

  “No, but she did get into your room and piss all over your books while I watched.”

  “Gods be damned, Ke-if.”

  “As much as I hate to break this conversation,” Sume said. “Have we all decided how we’re going to deal with Rosha?”

  “What about it?” Enosh asked. “She’s my daughter.”

  Kefier had to laugh at that. “So now you recognize her at last, eight long years later?”

  “It would’ve helped if people had been clearer about the issue before…”

  “Fuck, Enosh…”

  “Language.”

  “…it’s like you don’t realize how difficult it is to talk to you about anything. You lord it over us, expecting us to be able to read your mind, but you don’t even do a scrap of the work we do to deal with you.”

  “Kefier,” Sume began. “He doesn’t mean it like that.”

  Hearing Sume defend him was the last straw. Kefier got up and walked away.

  Chapter Five

  Kefier’s unexpected arrival had the impression of a dragon being released in the middle of a dinner party, or so Sume thought. She had been mulling over their inevitable reunion for years now, wondering how she would face him or what she would say. Half of the time, she had imagined that she would start with an apology in order to appease him, knowing she would never actually go through with it. There were things she regretted about Shi-uin, but she didn’t feel strongly enough about it to think she had made the wrong decision. And she couldn’t lie to Kefier. The simple transparency with which he dealt with her
meant that she couldn’t give him less.

  “Well, off he goes again, sulking like he was ten,” Enosh grumbled beside her.

  She turned to smile. Lying to Enosh was a lot easier—was all too-often necessary, in truth. “If I had not believed you were brothers before, I think I could, now,” she murmured.

  “And now you know why we didn’t want to announce it from the rooftops. We don’t have that kind of relationship. He’s rash and his head’s as hard as a rock and I have issues with that kind of behaviour.”

  “Would it be too difficult to give him some breathing room? This can’t be easy.”

  Enosh grimaced. “Do you care about him that much?”

  She felt her cheeks burn. “It’s…”

  Enosh gave her a fixed stare. She sat still, wondering at how well he could read her. A part of her questioned why her past with Kefier was something she needed to deny. Didn’t Enosh already know? And if he didn’t, and just found out now…

  “I’m going to see if Daro’s fit to talk,” Enosh said, drawing away from her.

  She breathed a sigh of relief. After a moment, she left the dining hall and went through the kitchen hall, which led to a fenced-off ledge overlooking the valley. She didn’t know why she thought she would find Kefier there. He was sitting on one of the leftover logs from construction, gazing out at the river that snaked through the horizon.

  She grabbed a log and pushed it towards him. He turned to her in annoyance, but said nothing as she set it in place. She sat down and he turned away again.

  They were silent for a very long time. Staring out at the sunset, she could hear him breathing, in addition to the lark whistling from a nearby tree.

  “How’s the fishing here?” she asked.

  He grunted. “Well enough.”

  “Delicious?”

  “A little bony, but…” He scratched his face and finally looked at her. His eyes were dancing. She had forgotten how blue they looked under certain lights. There was an agan-like quality to the hue, although they appeared grey in most circumstances.

  “How have you been?” Sume asked.

  He grunted again.

  “I was going to get angry at you for not telling me that Enosh and you were brothers, but I’ve decided to leave it be.”

  “You’re angry at me for enough things,” he agreed.

  She smiled. “So if I forgive you for that, we can call it even? You’ll forgive me for bringing Enosh here and messing up your life all over again? Even before I knew you were related, I knew you disliked him. I will talk to him about the house, too. You’re at least part-owner.”

  “We’re in no-man’s-land. No one’s laws apply here,” Kefier said. He shrugged. “I don’t care about that, anyway. He can stay here if he wants. It’s not like there’s anything I can do to stop him once he decides he wants something.”

  She opened her mouth. “Those are harsh words, if you mean what I think you mean.”

  “I can be straight if you want.”

  “Growing harsher. He’s trying to make up for it, Kefier. I could not begrudge him that chance. You knew—”

  “That you still loved him? And I was right, wasn’t I? I’ve always been right about that.” The harshness was spreading in his voice, suddenly making it clear how much he had been holding back.

  “You would put words in my mouth again. But let’s say you’re right,” she said, growing a little bolder. “Let’s say that’s exactly how it is. Why didn’t you leave us and move on with your life? I gave you plenty enough chances.”

  His jaw quivered. He looked off into the distance again.

  “We would not take Rosha from you,” Sume whispered. “She herself requested it. You are free to see her anytime you wish.”

  “Empty promises,” Kefier replied. “There is no room for me in the life you want for her. What do I know of the agan and this world she walks in? She needs protection against Yn Garr, a job I clearly fail at.”

  “You would walk away from us?”

  “I’ve given you nothing but grief,” he said.

  They were silent again. The sun was a red blotch on the horizon, the river now like an orange and grey ribbon unfurling in the wind.

  “Stay with us, Kefier,” Sume said.

  She heard him draw a deep breath. “You’re asking too much from me.”

  “Do you know how difficult Rosha is going to be if you’re not around? She tried to run away twice, at least. She takes me about as seriously as a cat looks at a mouse. Don’t even get me started with how she deals with Enosh. I don’t want this to sound like I’m guilt-tripping you into staying to make our lives easier…only that—I know we’ve made a mess of things. We all have. We’ve got to try to move past this, even just for now.”

  “Have you forgiven me for Oji?” he asked.

  She closed her eyes and was silent for a very long time.

  “It’s not that I need you to,” she heard him whisper. “I lied about why I stayed. I wasn’t doing it to make amends. I still…” He swallowed. “I still see him. In the battle at Fort Oras, when the men were dying around me, I could still feel the warmth of your brother’s blood on my hands. If I had the power to take it all back, I would. But I don’t…I can’t even make myself stop time and beat myself up long enough to make me understand what I’d done. I can’t expect you to.”

  She breathed. “I think maybe that I do,” she murmured.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I think I understand,” she said. The way Rysaran’s eyes rolled back when I pulled the blade out of his heart. Only I knew as it came in and I knew, as it left and the life ebbed from his body. I was fully aware of what I was doing to my friend. She resisted the urge to grab his hand for comfort. “Rysaran didn’t die at Oren-yaro.”

  “I figured as much when I saw the beast.”

  Her face tightened. “I killed him.”

  Kefier’s eyes were on her now. The attention was unsettling. She turned away, fingers curling over her knees. “We must all try to move past it all. We cannot hope to defeat Yn Garr if our personal issues keep getting in the way.”

  “Defeat Yn Garr? That’s the plan now?”

  “In my head, yes.”

  He snorted. “You haven’t seen what that man is capable of. I’d rather not be near him again if I can help it. Enosh’s idea of running away to Forrehs doesn’t sound so half-assed if you don’t consider where it’s coming from.” He looked at her. “Ab’s heart, the depths of insanity I’ll follow you into,” he murmured.

  The words, which he did not even seem aware that he had uttered, sent a shiver through her. Their eyes locked. This man killed your brother, she tried to remind herself, testing the words out in her mind. She realized there was no meaning behind them anymore. They had stopped meaning anything since Rysaran’s death.

  “Is everything exactly the way you wanted it?” he asked, the edge returning to his voice. “Your child’s father back at your side? And me still around to make things more convenient for you?”

  She flushed. “If I can’t make you see reason…”

  “No, I see it. I see it perfectly.” He stood up. “I’ll stay, for the time being. But you have to make this easier for me.”

  “How so?”

  His eyes flashed. “Don’t sleep with him under my roof.”

  She didn’t argue. He left before she could change her mind.

  A weary morning, the third since his arrival at the house, followed another restless night. Kefier stalked out before anyone else could awaken and went through the motions of his morning exercises, which helped the minor injuries he had received from the battle at Fort Oras. He found that he still couldn’t extend his left elbow as far as he normally could.

  Swearing, he stopped to take a drink of water and noticed the Dageian soldier, Daro, limping towards him. The man smiled, betraying the look of another who seemed at ease with hiding his real thoughts underneath a friendly expression. “Mind if I spar with you?”

&nb
sp; “I don’t have any practice swords,” Kefier said.

  “We’ll take it slow,” Daro replied.

  Kefier nodded. They circled each other before engaging in a lazy match, with each stroke done deliberately to give the other time to defend against it. Daro was using a Dageian-issue longsword and a different stance, attacking with a little less finesse than the Dageian soldiers from Fort Oras.

  “I heard you were commanding the mercenary army the Tribune fought against,” Daro said.

  “I didn’t know she was there.” Kefier made one sweep across Daro’s belly. Daro drew back. Even with the limp, he was fast.

  “Would it have made a difference if you did?”

  “I suppose not,” Kefier said, countering Daro’s next strike. “My hands were tied.”

  “So Sume has tried to explain to me.”

  Kefier paused. “I’m sorry for what happened to her.”

  Daro stood up. “You don’t have to be. You’re a decent enough fellow, from what I’ve seen—someone who’s just trying to do right by your family. I can’t fault you for that.”

  “Still, if not for what Mahe did, Rosha would be lost to us all.” He dropped his hands to his sides. “Thank you. I owe you everything.”

  “I have a hard time believing you’re related to Enosh,” Daro said, scratching his head. “And I did nothing. I’m not sure if I would’ve done the same thing, knowing the stakes.”

  “You would have,” Kefier said. “I have a feeling you’re a decent fellow, too. You haven’t even tried to arrest me again.”

  Daro laughed. “Believe it or not, I don’t like doing that.”

  “Then why join the military?”

  “It’s one of the few options available to you when you’re a second-class Dageian citizen. The life of a head servant or a scribe isn’t much for me, either. And my hands are too wobbly to be of any use as a clockmaker.” He held them out to show Kefier before he sheathed his sword, sweat pouring from his face. “As far as I see it, we’re all on the same side, despite what appeared to have been a terrible misjudgment on your part.”

  “I couldn’t have left Rosha all alone with Yn Garr,” Kefier said.