Confessions of a Dangerous Fae (The Supernatural Spy Files Book 1)

by Jenna Wolfhart

  The very act of folding a shirt and putting it in the satchel gave me the closure to know that I’d made the right choice.

  Probably.

  I kept going back and forth about it.

  On the one hand, this was not my Court and Lugh was not my King. I’d pledged myself to Clark, and that hadn’t changed, no matter what had happened since I’d arrived in Edinburgh. She needed me, and truth be told, I didn’t want to lose her friendship. Not to mention the whole prophecy part of it all. Lugh, the King of Wraiths, was my mate, and I was destined to kill him.

  Kind of a hard thing to get past.

  On the other hand, Lugh was my mate. I ached to stay by his side. I wanted to curl up in his arms. I wanted to feel his lips on my skin. I wanted to fight by his side and face down his enemies.

  With a sigh, I wrapped my sword in the black cloth and gave it a pat.

  This had been one wild ride. After I’d defeated Fiona with Lugh’s spear, Imogen and the rest of her band of Cauldron Tossers had thrown up their white flag and had surrendered. Both sides had lost warriors in the battle, but in the end, they’d lost more.

  Lugh and his team had gathered them up and then deposited them in the castle prison. I wasn’t entirely sure what he would do with them now, but that wasn’t my business. Not anymore. I’d done my part. Mostly. I’d helped stop them from bringing Nemain back from the dead.

  The only problem was...the cauldron had, as far as we could tell, been buried in the close. We’d only managed to get everyone out before the whole thing caved in, transforming Edinburgh’s city centre into a whole load of rubbish.

  It was going to take a long time for them to sort that out, and Lugh had donated a large portion of his massive wealth to help the city. He would oversee it as much as possible and get his hands on the cauldron as soon as it was found.

  For now though, I was needed back in London.

  I shouldered my bag and trailed down the stairs, trying to find an excuse to slow my exit. The training room. Obviously, I needed to say goodbye to everyone there. When I reached the ground floor, I hung a left and entered the building just opposite the halls.

  Inside, the twins were training. They were a rush of speed and agility, almost exactly matched in skill. Boudica whirled and pinned Warin to the ground. Like I said. Almost exactly.

  Warin glanced past her, pushed her away, and jumped to his feet. “Moira! That looks like a bag. Does that mean you really are leaving us?”

  “I’m afraid so.” I edged into the training room and looked around, smiling at the various weapons that adorned the walls. It was too bad I’d never had a chance to train in this room. It would have been fun. “I’m needed back at Court. Werewolf problems. I’m sure you get it.”

  It was only a little white lie. Clark was having werewolf problems, like always, but she’d told me to take my time. When I’d told her everything about Lugh—the nightmare wraiths, the mating bond—she’d been far more understanding than I’d expected. I thought she’d be upset that one of her closest confidantes had mated with the enemy, but her soft voice soothed all those fears away.

  “If he’s your mate, he can’t be all that bad,” she had said on the phone. “You can stay there with him as long as you’d like, you know. Take your time. Do what you need to do, Moira. It’s your life. Not mine.”

  “But the prophecy...” I’d tried to say.

  “Prophecies can be changed. They can be broken. Look at me and Balor. Caer tried to tell us that our love would destroy the world.”

  Clark had a point. Prophecies were only prophecies, not facts. They were things that could happen. Not things that would.

  Still, I didn’t want to chance it.

  “Earth to Moira,” Boudica said with a laugh, snapping her fingers in front of my eyes. “Where’d you go, darling?”

  “Sorry.” I shook my head. “It’s been a long-ass week.”

  She chuckled. “Tell me about it. I love a good fight, but I could use a week in the sun to decompress from all that stress.”

  I grinned back. “You know you can visit London anytime. It’s no beach, but it’s warmer than here.”

  “Maybe.” She slung her arm around my neck and gave me a quick hug. “As long as you can promise your Queen won’t try to make us join her Court. I know it’s unorthodox here, but it’s home.”

  I gave a nod. Clark and I hadn’t really had that chat yet, but I knew I’d be able to make her understand. She and Lugh could form some sort of alliance. One that would allow him to continue as he was, as long as he did not challenge her throne.

  With one last hug, I backed out of the training room and headed to the healing ward. Inside, I found Saoirse awake and smiling. Beside her sat the hobgoblin. He’d barely left her side since the whole ordeal. The poor creature had been worried sick about her, and I no longer understood why I hadn’t been a big fan of Uisnech when I first met him.

  He wasn’t like other hobgoblins. Not that I’d actually met very many.

  This time, though, he wasn’t too pleased to see me. He narrowed his green eyes at my bag and scowled. “No. You cannot. Noooooooope!”

  “Uisnech,” I sighed, dropping by bag by Saoirse’s healing ward door. “Please stop. I don’t want to leave with you angry at me.”

  “Then, you shouldn’t leave, now should you?” he snapped.

  “Uisnech,” I said again. “I can’t stay.”

  “You know you will be leaving me with a very grumpy King. I do not appreciate having to deal with Lugh’s tantrums in your absence.” He looked away and sniffed very dramatically.

  “Frankly, I don’t think he’s the one being grumpy in this situation.” Smiling, I dropped down on the chair next to him, and took his little hand in mine. “Hey. Please don’t hate me. I have to go, but I promise I’ll see you again.”

  He glanced back, eyes shining. “You will?”

  “Of course. You and I have a bond now. We survived a battle together. That means something.”

  “Is that a noble warrior thing?” he asked, voice hitching at the end.

  I grinned. “That’s right. The way you helped Saoirse, you’re a noble warrior now. Which means you need to understand why I must go. I know you’re not a fan of the Morrigan, but she’s my friend, and she’s my Queen. I need to go home, Uisnech.”

  With a heavy sigh, he gave a grudging nod. “As a fellow noble warrior, I understand your plight. But you cannot leave here forever. I am going to take you at your word. When Lugh needs you again, I will call on you.”

  “It’s a deal,” I said before flicking my eyes to Saoirse. She’d been watching the entire exchange with a bemused expression on her face. “You’re looking better.”

  “The healers have made me as good as new. I can go back to my room any time now, but I’m enjoying the extra attention. And food. So, I’ll spend another night here.” Her purple eyes shone, but they still had that haunted look about them.

  When we’d finally had a chance to speak to Saoirse about what had happened, we’d learned that the enemy had treated her like a prisoner of war. They had tortured her for information and demanded she give them a prophecy. At first, she resisted, but then she’d given in. None of us blamed her for that. When she finally managed a single prophecy for them, she’d discovered that intense, all-consuming magic was needed as a sacrifice for the cauldron. Lugh’s spear would do.

  The details of her exact prophecy she’d kept mum. She said it didn’t matter anymore. We’d stopped it from coming true.

  As I turned to go, she grasped my hand and clung tight. “You can change your destiny, Moira. Don’t forget that.”

  “I know.” Tears filled my eyes. “There’s always that chance, but I can’t risk it. I’ve lost too many people. I won’t lose him, too.”

  I dragged my feet toward The Royal Palace. I had no more excuses. No more fae to speak to before I left. Sure, I could walk along the cobblestones and drag my fingers across the Great Hall’s majestic tables one last time
. I could poke my head into the kitchen, say goodbye to Selma, not that she cared.

  But it was time now for me to face Lugh. One final time.

  With a deep breath, I strode to the door and pushed it open. As soon as I stepped foot inside, my ears were met with that haunting melody. He was playing the harp again, the strands of music swirling through the hallways like a strange, dark magic I wanted to pull into my bones.

  The harp stopped suddenly, and Lugh appeared in his arched doorway, his dark hair ruffled, his shirt nowhere to be seen. I swallowed hard as I took in his washboard abs and sculpted cheekbones. Instead of running away from this, I wanted to launch into his arms.

  I set my bag on the floor and shifted awkwardly on my feet.

  “You’ve come to say goodbye.” He disappeared back into his rooms, leaving his door hanging open.

  He wasn’t going to make this easy on me then. Fair enough.

  With a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and edged into his rooms. The place was a wreck, far more so than usual. Books had been tossed about with abandon. Dirty plates were stacked in the kitchen. The floor was covered in soot.

  I lifted a brow. “Um. Did someone break in here again?”

  “No.” His voice was cold as he turned his back on me. “Say what you have come here to say, Moira.”

  “Lugh,” I pleaded.

  He kept his back turned toward me and strode over to the window.

  “Lugh. Please. It doesn’t have to be this hard.” I took a step toward him and then paused.

  “No, it doesn’t,” he said quietly. “For one, you could stay here with me. I am your mate. We belong together, not apart.”

  “I told you about the prophecy. It said that I’ll—”

  “Fuck the prophecy,” he growled, whipping toward me. “The prophecy doesn’t matter. All that matters is how I feel about you and how you feel about me. Tell me, Moira.” He strode toward me, his dark power whorling through the room like a tornado. “Do you want to kill me?”

  I blinked up at him, voice stuck in my throat.

  “Tell me the truth,” he demanded. “Tell me you want to stab your blade into my heart.”

  My hands clenched. “Of course I don’t. I’ve never wanted that. I don’t understand how I ever could.”

  He grabbed my hands and pulled me to his chest. “Then, stay.”

  “I can’t,” I said, tears springing into my eyes. “The idea that I could kill you terrifies me. I won’t risk it. I won’t. I refuse to put you in harm’s way, especially when that harm is me.”

  “But it’s just a prophecy.” He closed his eyes and breathed me in. Heat sparked in my gut, and I found myself pressing closer to him, letting my head fill with the burning scent of him, that fire and mist and pine. It was hard to care about what might happen at some point way in the future when he was right here in front of me now.

  “Prophecies,” I said slowly, “predict the future. They don’t always come true, but most of the time, they do.”

  Breath shuddering from his lungs, Lugh stepped back, hands still clutched tightly to mine. His dark eyes flicked across my face, drinking me in. “I just need to know one thing, and I need you to tell me the truth. You tell me this, and I’ll let you go.”

  My heart thumped, and I nodded.

  He sucked in a deep breath and clenched his jaw. “You have fear of the nightmare wraiths. I can sense it in you. You’ve encountered us—them—before.”

  My hands instinctively tightened around his as that familiar fear pounded through me. “Yes. They attacked me when I was young.”

  He shook his head sadly. “That is the true reason you are leaving, is it not? You are frightened by what I am, by what I once was. You learned the truth of me, and you want to flee.”

  “Lugh,” I whispered, staring up at him. “Look into my eyes and ask yourself if you really believe that’s the truth. You know it isn’t. The nightmare wraiths, they terrify me, but that’s not what you are now. I’ve seen you for who you are, and you are not the nightmares that have plagued me. You are mine.”

  His eyes flashed, and he wrapped his strong arms around my body, resting his chin on the top of my head. I squeezed my eyes tight, hugging him back. We stood there like that for what felt like hours. He held me, and I held him, and we pretended that a world existed where we could stay in each other’s arms forever.

  Best case scenario, I could stay and we would find a way to avoid the prophecy from ever coming true. I would be happy, and he would be, too. We could have little wraith babies and sit in the Great Hall laughing and drinking with the rest of the Court. As we stood there like that, I imagined this whole life, stretching out for years and years ahead of us.

  But there was a worst case scenario, too. One I would never forget. Somehow, I would kill him. I couldn’t imagine how it could come to pass now, but I didn’t doubt that it could.

  When he pulled back, he rubbed his thumb against my jaw and gave me a sad smile. “Is there any way at all I can convince you to stay here with me?”

  “No, Lugh,” I whispered. “There really isn’t. Not now anyway. Just give me some time. I will search for a way to change this. Maybe there’s a magic out there that can make the prophecy untrue.”

  “Okay, then.” He sighed, leaned down, and gave me one last lingering kiss. I melted against him, memorising the feel of his lips against my skin. Our bond snapped tight, coming to life at our touch. It would always be a part of me, no matter how far I ran.

  Slowly, I edged down the hallway toward the front door. I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. For a moment longer, I just stood there blinking at him.

  “Would you like me to walk you to the train station?” he asked. “Or drive you? I have a fleet of cars that rarely gets used.”

  “I think,” I said slowly, “that if I spend another moment with you then I’ll talk myself out of what I’m doing.”

  A slight smile tipped up the corners of his mouth. “Don’t tempt me to trap you here for another night. You know Uisnech would gladly help fit the lock on your door.”

  I laughed. “I’m surprised he hasn’t already tried.”

  And then the smile died on my lips. This was it then. I couldn’t stall any longer. With one last longing glance in his direction, I twisted on my feet and left The Royal Palace behind.

  I could feel his eyes on me until I’d passed through the gates, and even as far as the end of the Castle Esplanade. I had come here to trap him, to take him back in chains to my Queen. Instead of all that, I was leaving with my soul eternally attached to his, and my heart pretty much cleaved in two. I’d long ago accepted that I would never live a happy life with a mate, but I hadn’t known what that truly meant until now.

  It sucked. Like, really, really bad.

  Boots scuffing against the cobblestone, I paused and glanced over my shoulder. The castle loomed above, the lights twinkling through the heavy clouds. Even from a distance, I felt the pull of Lugh. I couldn’t sever the bond between us no matter how hard I tried.

  And I didn’t need a prophecy to know that I couldn’t stay away from him forever.

  Extra scenes: Interested in an extra steamy scene from Lugh’s point of view? You can grab Lugh’s story for free by clicking here.

  Moira’s saga continues in…

  Confessions of a Wicked Fae

  (The Supernatural Spy Files, Book Two)

  Available for Preorder Now

  Jenna’s Court of Books and Readers is a Facebook group with early access to cover reveals and sneak peek chapters. You can join by clicking here.

  Author’s Note

  Many of the settings in this book are based on real locations in Edinburgh. Castle Wraith, for example, is Edinburgh Castle in the real world. The layout for the buildings is based on the current map of the castle, and many of the descriptions match, such as details about the Great Hall and the Castle Esplanade.

  Mary King’s Close is very much a real location. Centuries ago, it was a
bustling street full of merchants and markets, but it was “buried” as buildings kept expanding upward. Plague victims were indeed trapped inside. It’s now a popular attraction with guided tours. I highly recommend visiting!

  About the Author

  Jenna Wolfhart is a Buffy-wannabe who lives vicariously through the kick-ass heroines in urban fantasy. After completing a PhD in Librarianship, she became a full-time author and now spends her days tucked away in her writing shed. When she's not writing, she loves to stargaze, rewatch Game of Thrones, and drink copious amounts of coffee.

  Born and raised in America, Jenna now lives in England with her husband, her two dogs, and her mischief of rats.

  FIND ME ONLINE

  Facebook Reader Group

  Instagram

  YouTube

  Twitter

  www.jennawolfhart.com

  jenna@jennawolfhart.com