Riding Hard (Hell Ryders MC Book 4)

by J. L. Sheppard

  That sounded fucked. Had she twisted it? Kind of because Lilliam did more than flirt, and Lilliam didn’t want him to care about her. She just wanted to fuck with him because she lived to fuck with people.

  “You don’t know the whole story. I can explain—”

  “I know she’s a bitch now. I know she doesn’t care about her son. She never sees Cullen and the last time she saw him, she terrified him. But I also know there’re two sides to every story. From the bits and pieces you’ve told me, I see faults with both.”

  That didn’t mean his wasn’t the right one.

  He shook his head and repeated, “Lex, you don’t know the whole story. I can explain. I promise—”

  “You’re right. I don’t. I also don’t care to know it either. You humiliated me in front of your brothers, in front of the few friends I managed to make for no reason. I can say this since you were upset about something your wife did and not me. By doing this, you forced me to walk away from Cullen who was in tears. A million apologies couldn’t repair what you did to me because not everything can be mended with apologies.”

  His chest clenched. Pain radiated out of his middle and spread.

  No, that he couldn’t accept. There had to be a way to get her back.

  She shook her head. “Besides, you’re a grown man. There’s no changing a grown man. If I forgave you, what you did to me today would just be the beginning.”

  He shook his head. “No, Lex, I—”

  “This is it for me and you. I ask that you keep your word and let me see Cullen because I, for one, do not want to lose him.”

  Dead serious, there’d be no convincing her. He just couldn’t accept it. The pain burning his insides wouldn’t let him let her go.

  He took a step toward her, cupped her cheek, snaked an arm around her waist, hauled her against him, and held her there. Her ice blue eyes widened. She planted her hands against his chest and pushed.

  He leaned in to her, grazing his lips against hers. Then he drew away just enough to meet her eyes. “You and me aren’t done, Lex. We’re just beginning. I’m gonna give you space. Then we’re gonna sit down and talk. I’ll explain everything to you. After, you’re gonna kiss me, and then, you’re gonna fuck me.”

  Her breath hitched.

  He let her go, turned, and walked away.

  Nursing the ache in the center of his chest, Dodge drove home thinking about her and the vow he made. He’d give her two weeks tops because he didn’t think he could go more.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  On his living room couch, Dodge sat with Lex, one arm slung around her shoulders, another on her thigh. She shifted, throwing a leg over and straddling him. Grinning, he cupped her ass and inhaled. Smelling her perfume, he slid a hand up her spine. Chest pressed to his, she hooked her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck.

  With her beautifully thick hair in his face and her lips against his pulse, she whispered, “Missed you so much.”

  His arms, snug around her waist, tightened on instinct. “Not letting you go again, Lex. Not ever.”

  She giggled, lifted her head, and met his stare. When she did, her smile died, yet her expression softened. “Do you love me, Dave?”

  He grinned. “You know how I feel about you.”

  She smiled.

  “Do you love me, Lex?”

  Her eyes watered. Before she responded, she faded away.

  ****

  His eyes snapped open with a start.

  Shit. Same dream. Now three times in one week. More like a nightmare, every time he woke before she said the words. He didn’t know if he loved her, but he wanted her to love him.

  Since their fight, he’d barely seen her. He kept his word, giving her space, letting Cul go to her house whenever he wanted, almost as if they shared custody. A drastic change from before, and he hated every second of it.

  He’d been counting down. In four days, he’d walk across the street and convince her to give him another shot. He didn’t know exactly what he’d say, but he wasn’t worried about that, not yet since he still had several days to think on it.

  Lying on his back, he caught sight of the red and blue lights flashing through the blinds illuminating his dark room.

  Peering at his nightstand, he spotted his alarm clock, two a.m. He sat up in bed, strode to his window, and parted the blinds.

  Cops.

  Across the street.

  At Lex’s.

  His stomach knotted.

  He rushed into Cul’s room, wrapped an arm under his butt, another around his neck, lifted him, and draped him across his chest. In the living room, he grabbed his keys, unlocked the door, and walked out. Crossing the street and rounding the police cruiser, he spotted her standing in front of two cops.

  Wearing a robe and slippers, face fresh and makeup less, her hair loose looking like she’d styled it even though he knew she must’ve just woken. Stunning, yet within all that beauty, he saw it. Eyes guarded, hands clasped together yet unsteady.

  Her head came up. Her eyes met his and widened.

  The uniformed cops, backs to Dodge, turned and faced him. One of them, the taller of the two, late twenties with a crew cut held his hand up, stopping him from nearing. “Can I help you?”

  Dodge sliced his gaze to him. “Yeah, you can let me get to my woman.”

  The cop faced Lex for confirmation.

  Lex spared a glance at the cop, met Dodge’s gaze, and whispered, “What’re you doing here?”

  “You okay?” He asked though he knew the answer. She wasn’t. Far from it.

  “I’m fine.”

  She lied and she knew he knew she had. He saw it on her face. He also knew she expected what he did next.

  Not knowing what she’d do when he reached her or if she’d push him away, he closed the distance between them. A step away, she pressed her cold hand to his bare stomach. Because of that simple, possibly insignificant touch, he did what came natural.

  He wrapped his empty arm around her back and brought her close. With her face planted on his chest and her body against his, he trailed his hand up her back until he buried it in her hair. Then he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re not.”

  She shook her head.

  “What happened?”

  Pulling away, she slanted her head to meet his eyes. “My back door… There was a loud crash. I—”

  He squeezed the back of her neck. “Someone came in?”

  She shook her head. “Just a rock.”

  “Do you know anyone who’d do something like this?”

  Dodge turned to face the cop who spoke, the shorter of the two, his nameplate read, Marks. Lex shifted too. He kept his arm around her, tucking her against his side.

  “No.”

  “It was intentional, Miss Millen. Now, we need to determine if it was a random act or if whoever did this has a vendetta against you?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “No one would want to scare me or…”

  The way her voice trailed off made Dodge angle his head down and to his side to look at her, but he couldn’t read the expression on her face.

  She lifted her head, stare seeking and finding his. “You should put Cul down. He needs his rest.”

  He cocked his head. “You gonna tell me what you just realized when I get back.”

  Her gaze fell. She hadn’t planned to, and now, she was thinking whether she should. When her stare met his again, she nodded a firm nod. She might still be pissed at him, but she wouldn’t lie.

  He clutched her lightly before he released her, rushed across the street, and lay Cul in bed. When he tucked him in tightly, Cul mumbled incoherently but didn’t wake. Dodge hadn’t expected him to. His boy had always been a heavy sleeper.

  On his way out, he grabbed the sound monitor and buried it in his pocket. Back outside and nearing Lex and the cops, he heard the taller cop ask, “How many calls?”

  She shrugged. “A couple a day for a week.”

&
nbsp; Shit. Not good. Someone was fucking with her, with his Lex.

  Ignoring the bile rising in the back of his throat, Dodge wrapped an arm around her and brought her close. Her front plastered against his side, she spared a glance at him then met the taller cop’s gaze. Dodge took that chance to glance at his name, Johnson.

  “Anyone you can think of who’d do this to you?”

  She hesitated and shook her head. “No. I don’t—”

  “Her ex.”

  She jerked against him, angling her head to his face.

  He met her gaze for a split second then peered at the cops. “They’ve been off for a while, but he wants her back. A few months ago, he came by. When he didn’t get the welcome he wanted, I stepped in.”

  Johnson’s eyes narrowed. “Meaning.”

  “Meaning I pulled him away and told him to get lost.”

  The shorter cop shifted his feet. “So there wasn’t a physical altercation?”

  “She told him to get lost. He didn’t and thought he’d grab her to make his point. I saw it, stepped in, pulled him away then told him to get lost. It didn’t get more physical than that.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think he had anything to do with this.”

  All gazes turned to Lex.

  He tightened his arm around her, pressing her snugger against him, and cupped her cheek with his other hand. “Think he would, Lex.”

  “I’ve known him a long time. He isn’t the type.”

  He cocked his head. “You know the type?”

  He didn’t think she did, but if she did, he wanted to know who and when.

  “No, but I know the type of man he is. If something becomes too hard, he walks away. You stepped in, and he walked away. He hasn’t even called.”

  A fucking idiot. A man had Lex, he did everything and anything to keep her. Dodge fucked it up too but not because he wanted anyone else, and he wouldn’t stop trying to win her back.

  He released her cheek and looked to the cops. “Everyone likes Lex. He’s the only one with motive.”

  “His name,” Marks asked.

  “Mitchell Adam Upton. He’s 32, lives in San Francisco.” She then recited his phone number by heart.

  Dodge’s arm around her involuntarily tautened. He thought it’d been subtle, but Johnson’s stare trailed to his arm then shot to his face.

  “If you think of anyone else, please give me a call Miss Millen.” Marks handed her a card. “You should stay somewhere else until you repair that door, and you should think about getting an alarm.” The cop turned, headed for his car.

  Johnson handed Lex a card and held her eyes for a moment before he, too, walked away.

  When they climbed into their patrol car, Dodge hauled her to his chest. “Let’s get your stuff. You’re staying with us tonight.”

  He thought for sure she’d argue. He’d fight back. No way he’d let her stay alone. But she didn’t, and he knew she hadn’t forgiven him because just the day before, she couldn’t even look at him. Her not fighting meant she was terrified. Shit circumstance but it was a chance, so he’d take it.

  Grabbing her hand, he strode toward her house, entering first. He caught sight of the mess in her living room, mostly shattered glass and the rock that did the damage. He asked her to wait while he checked the house front to back.

  Spotting some large boxes in the garage, he carried them inside, placed them in front of the broken door, blocking entry. She followed him as he did this, insisting she help. He refused. After, he moved her beige couch in front of the boxes to hold them in place. It wouldn’t keep anyone out, not like a door, but at least her house wouldn’t be open to the elements.

  He then grabbed her hand and strode to the mouth of the hall leading to the bedrooms. “I’ll board that up for you tomorrow. Get what you need and anything valuable you have too.”

  She nodded and dropped her head slightly, looking behind him. “Can you…come with me?” Her voice quaked, asking like it pained her to. Because she had to ask him or because she hated to ask anyone, he didn’t know.

  He went without a word. Reaching her door, he stopped, waited, and watched while she packed. When she finished, he took the duffle bag from her, grabbed her hand, walked her out of her house, locked the door, and crossed the street to his.

  He pulled her inside, not letting her think twice about it, locked the front door, and headed down the hall. He stopped by Cul’s room and found him asleep like he expected since he hadn’t heard a sound through the monitor. He then strode to his room. Once inside, he dropped Lex’s bag on the floor and led her to bed.

  “Take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  He went to turn but didn’t make it halfway around before she gripped his hand. He stilled and faced her.

  “Don’t go,” she whispered. Setting her other hand on his stomach, she leaned up to him.

  It wasn’t right. She was vulnerable. Scared and shaken, she wasn’t thinking straight, but fuck, she initiated it. It made him a dick, but it had been more than a week without her lips, her smile, her, so he couldn’t fight the pull.

  He leaned down just enough so she reached him. The instant he did, her arm hooked around his neck, and she pressed her lips to his.

  The sweetest kiss. He’d never been kissed like that, never kissed anyone like that, but he took what she gave him and gave it back.

  He didn’t want to pull away, let go, but he knew he kept at it, he’d take them all the way and that was not just wrong but fucked. She’d wake up regretting what they did, hating herself and him too.

  He thought it’d be harder to tear himself away, but remembering she wasn’t herself, he managed it. Still, so close, he could taste her.

  Her ice blue eyes watered. “Stay with me.”

  For the same reasons, he shouldn’t, but like with the kiss, he couldn’t say no.

  He nodded and watched as she removed her robe leaving her in a nighty and lay in bed on her back. He walked around the bed, set the sound monitor on the nightstand, and laid beside her, thinking he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep with her so close.

  She shifted to face him. “Someone’s been calling me.”

  He knew this. Still, it comforted him she said it directly to him.

  He looked at her but didn’t shift because he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from reaching for her. “When it start?”

  “A week ago.”

  He nodded. “You don’t know anyone it could be?”

  “No.”

  “I know it’s hard, but you gotta trust that we’re gonna find who’s doing this and stop it.”

  Her brows creased. “You mean the police?”

  No, he didn’t. He meant the club, but he couldn’t get in to it then. It was late, and most importantly, it was club business, and she wasn’t his. He didn’t want to answer and lie, so he did something else.

  Lifting himself slightly, he grabbed the back of her head, leaned toward her, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Night, Lex.”

  She wrapped her arm around his waist. When he settled on his back, she moved to him, tucking her body against his and resting her head on his shoulder. “Missed you so much.”

  A weight lifted. He couldn’t have helped himself then. He faced her, snaked his arm around her waist, and tucked her against him. Then staring straight into her eyes in his dark room, lying in his bed, he vowed silently, “Not letting you go again, Lex. Not ever.”

  Just like his dream.

  He held her close, half asleep himself when he heard, “I love you, Dodge.”

  A beautiful ache sliced through his gut, up his chest, and settled in the back of his throat. He couldn’t believe it, so he drew away slightly and scanned her face.

  Eyes closed, a soft smile on her lips. Asleep, but she said it.

  He leaned in, grinned against her hair, and muttered, “Fuck, Lex.” He kept that smile in place while he drew away and closed his eyes. In no time, he fell asleep.

  Chapter Twenty-Three<
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  The bed creaked. Her bed never squeaked, so she cracked open her eyes and spotted him. Cullen sat on the edge of the bed, his hair a beautiful mess.

  He grinned wide. “Lex.”

  It took her a few seconds, but she realized where she was and why. All of that explained why Cul would be there too.

  Looking at his sweet face, the magnitude of the mistake she made hit her full force, a mistake that’d hurt him the most. She had no clue how to fix it, but for the moment, it could wait.

  “Did you have a bad dream, sweetheart?”

  He shook his head.

  Dodge appeared at the door leading into the room. She planted a hand on the bed and straightened while simultaneously pulling the blanket draped over her to her chin.

  His eyes warmed. “Coffee’s ready. There’s a clean towel for you in the bathroom. You want a cup or a shower first?”

  “I… What time is it?”

  “Six-thirty.”

  She nodded. “Shower.”

  He transferred his gaze to his son. “Come, Cul. Let’s get you ready.”

  Cul hesitated until she got out of bed. When she did, he snaked his arms around her waist. She wrapped hers around his back.

  Lifting his head to meet her stare, he smiled. “Morning.”

  A new word. She smiled, slid her hand across his cheek then threaded her fingers through his hair. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

  He released her and turned toward his father. Dodge closed the bedroom door on their way out. She showered, dressed, and rummaged through her bag, realizing she’d forgotten to pack her makeup. Grabbing her duffle, she walked to the living room, smiled when she spotted Cul, and headed toward the kitchen.

  Dodge stood hip leaning against the counter, his hand around a mug of coffee, another cup beside him. “Made you a cup.”

  Thoughtful. Then again, she expected nothing less. The months they’d been together, he’d been all that and more.